I was eating breakfast when Blaze walked out of his room the next morning. His pack and rifle case were slung over his shoulder. He wore fatigues like I'd seen Rogan wearing when I ran into him in the hallway last week.

"Are you leaving?" I set my bagel on my plate and stared at him.

"Yeah." He messed with his gear intently, like I wasn't there.

"Where are you going?"

He didn't answer, grabbed a bunch of bags, and opened the front door.

Rogan and Takoda were standing in the corridor, waiting for him. Rogan wore clean, stiff fatigues and his Army boots. I stood from the table in the nook and stepped closer to Rogan, but he didn't look at me. His face hardened into an arctic glacier. His lips looked thin and pale. Unlike last night when they were full and slick and kissing me in the most unimaginable ways. His lips had also said cruel, hurtful things that left me crying myself to sleep. I wrapped my arms around my middle to ward off the chill creeping up my spine.

Blaze glanced from Rogan to me. "Gonna load the truck." He walked out with his gear.

"Where are you going?" I asked Rogan. The hairs on my arm stiffened, like they do during the deathly lull before a storm.

He turned his head toward me, and considered me with dull, lifeless eyes. "I can't tell you."

He didn't need to. I could read the resolve on his face. "You're going to Afghanistan. On another mission."

His head tilted slightly. "If anyone asks you, you don't know where I went."

"Is the Army making you go or did you volunteer?"

"I'm going because I want to."

"Why? What could be so important?"

"Got unfinished business there."

"Are Diesel and Takoda going with you?"

"Yep. The Monroe brothers will watch over you until Diesel and Blaze get back."

"The Monroe brothers? Diesel and— Wait. You're not coming back?"

"If I survive, I won't return here. Don't wait for me." His voice softened and rasped, revealing the anguish he was feeling too. The hook in my heart tugged painfully like a fish caught on a line. "Goodbye, Sunshine. Just move on."

"Do I at least get to say goodbye to Takoda?"

Rogan looked down at Takoda and pointed one finger at me. I bent my knees, and she ran into my arms.

"Goodbye, girl. Be careful out there." I rubbed the scruff of her neck till her skin wrinkled up behind her ears. She panted and angled her head, begging for more. I kissed the top of her head. A jagged hole ripped through my chest. "You can't say goodbye and walk away."

"I have to."

A butcher's knife severed my mangled heart into jagged, bloody chunks. "This hurts." I kept my eyes on Takoda and blinked away the pain threatening to drop from my eyes.

The door clicked shut, his gear thudded on the floor, and his boots tapped out three deliberate steps toward me. When his strong arms pulled me to standing, I peered up at my blurry commando. This is not happening. I couldn't say goodbye. Not now. Not ever.

"Listen. I know it hurts now and it feels like it'll never pass. But it will. You'll forget about me. Move on to someone your age." He ran his hand over my hair like he'd done the first time he'd hugged me. "I'm sorry about the way I treated you last night. You don't deserve that."

"Older guys do stupid things too." I sounded petulant, but I didn't care. This was forever. My hero who'd rescued me and gave me my freedom was walking away and would never return.

"You don't understand." His voice cracked.

"Explain it to me, please."

"Certain acts are so heinous, they can't go unanswered."

"And you have to provide the answer?"

"We're the best team for the job."

"You're choosing to fight over love?"

He bent at the waist to stare into my eyes. "Yes."

"And have you made that choice before and regretted it?"

His torso flinched back like I'd hit him in the core. "Tess..."

"People repeat behaviors. Diesel marries women based on their body type. My father brings children into this world, only to reject them. You risk your life to wage battles far across the ocean. Battles that keep you from putting down roots."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "You could be right, but this is the way it has to be. I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes. He pressed his lips to my forehead and skimmed them over my nose, landing on my mouth.

I kissed him back, softly, inhaling his warm breath, memorizing it and storing it in my lungs like a firefly in a jar.

He grabbed my waist and pulled me flush against his torso as he deepened the kiss.

This kiss broke a promise he'd never made. The bitter regret of an unfinished verse he'd never started singing.

His husky growl and the hunger in the kiss said he didn't want it to end. But like Rogan always does, he pulled away, leaving me breathless and lost.

He picked up his rifle and his bags. "Bye, Tess."

Takoda followed behind him with one last look back at me.

"Goodbye, Rogan. Bye, Takoda." I waved at their disappearing backs. "Be safe."

The door clicking shut sheared the final strand of the cable tying me to Rogan. I stood in the middle of the room holding the loose end of a tattered rope.