Chapter Eighteen

Allison woke up the next morning feeling on edge about the way things were going with Tony. She wasn’t sure where she stood because these mixed signals he was sending her were making her crazy. Officially, they’d only gone on a couple dates, but they’d been getting to know each other for about two months. Their attraction had been growing long before their first date and she was dying to take their relationship to the next level. Why wasn’t he?

Stepping into the shower stall, she turned on the hot water. She did some of her best thinking in the shower and hoped the answers would come to her. She poured a dollop of strawberry shampoo in her palm and lathered her hair. Closing her eyes under the shower head, she tried to analyze the situation. On the one hand, Tony was sweet and attentive on their dates, said all the right things and essentially swept her off her feet with romantic words and gestures, from the tulips in the restaurant to teaching her to swing a golf club to making out under the stars of the observatory. Yet whenever she tried to move things to the next level, he backed away.

It was a known fact that Tony bedded every girl he dated. He freely admitted it. Then why not her? Was he turned off by her boldness? She turned the knob to shut the water and wrapped herself in a towel. “Guess I’ll soon find out,” she mumbled.

»»•««

Tony’s early-morning workout was with a half dozen guys from his practice squad. When he first got benched, Tony couldn’t believe someone with his talent and experience was relegated to the practice squad. That meant he was playing alongside freaking rookies and red shirts. He’d proven himself a dozen times over and this was how he got treated?

There were times Tony felt unjustly picked on by the coaches. No matter what he did, they automatically decided he was guilty without a fair trial, and the punishments they doled out were excessive. He sometimes wondered if they were prejudiced against him and he briefly toyed with the idea of getting a lawyer and claiming discrimination.

This motley little subset of the practice squad formed about a month ago, after Tony overheard a couple of the freshmen players complaining that they weren’t getting what they needed out of practice. The coaches seemed to have their own agendas and the workouts were rote. “I need to work on catching on the run,” he heard one teammate say. “I need to work on passing on the run,” another player added.

Tony approached them in the locker room. “Hey guys. I heard you say you need to work on some of your mechanics.” Two of the younger men looked worried that Tony was spying on them or something. “Relax. I think I can help. I know throwing on the run is tough and I’m still working on it myself. So maybe we could all work on it together—you know, on our own.”

“Like when?” one of the guys asked.

“Whenever you want. I’ll make the time if you do,” Tony answered.

So they began practicing at odd hours, early mornings before class, before official practices, some evenings and some weekends.

Watching from the sidelines, Tony would critique each man’s form and give them tips to help them refine their moves. Being the oldest among them, he was the logical one to give them pointers. He felt proud that they’d improved so much in the weeks they’d been practicing together. The guys even told Tony he was a better coach than the real coaches.

Today, he was in the middle of giving a pep talk when, out of the blue, Tony remembered something from Philip’s commencement address. He didn’t think he even heard most of Philip’s speech, but now and then, bits and pieces floated into Tony’s brain. “My father once told me that everything happens for a reason. It may be your darkest hour, and things may look bleak, but one day you’ll look back and realize there was a reason you went through the adversity. Chances are good you’ll come out of it being grateful.”

Tony got it. He actually understood what Philip meant about things happening for a reason. He was getting as much out of practicing with these guys as he was giving. His own running passes had improved too. This actually turned into a good experience for him and he’d ditched the idea of suing.

»»•««

Allison took a deep breath as she stood at the entrance to the locker room waiting for Tony to come out. She supposed she could wait for a formal date, but she wasn’t sure how long her courage would last. They needed to have “the talk.”

She could hear her mother’s voice in her head warning her not to come on too strong. Be coy and play hard to get. Well, to hell with her mother’s advice. Allison had done enough waiting around in her life and she didn’t want to do it anymore. Tony was the first guy in a long time who she even wanted to be with, so why not?

Even so, it was getting a little weird waiting for him here, especially when she was getting eyed and winked at by one guy after the other. She smiled shyly at the players as they emerged from the locker room, but she saved her most sincere smile for Tony. Finally, he walked out and almost walked past her. He did a double take.

“Hey, Nails. What are you doing here?” He took her hands and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

“Jen needed an extra shift today, so I gave up mine.” She looked down at their joined hands before lifting her eyes. “I’m done with class and I was hopin’ we could spend some time together.”

Tony’s face fell. “Um, I wish I could, babe, but I… well…”

A worried look washed over her face. Allison dropped Tony’s hands and took a step back. “You what?”

“I, um, go visit my grandmother in Bradenton every other Wednesday,” he explained a little sheepishly. “I spend the day over there, fix stuff around the house, she makes me dinner, and we catch up.”

Allison’s face lit up and she reached for his hand again. “Oh. That’s so dayum sweet.”

“Sweet? Me? I don’t think so,” he joked. “Hey.” His eyes widened. “I have an idea. Why don’t you come? It’s less than two hours from here.”

“Oh. Well, I couldn’t.” She wasn’t ready to meet the grandma. From all accounts, his grandmother was a saint and Allison wasn’t sure she could withstand the scrutiny. She knew Tony adored his grandmother, and if Grandma Ramos disapproved of Allison, their relationship would be doomed before it even heated up.

“Why not? I know you don’t have plans right now. You just said so.”

“But… but she’s not expectin’ me.”

“S’okay. I’ll call her.”

She looked down at her pale pink V-neck T-shirt and spandex workout leggings. “Um. I’m not dressed for visitin’.”

He eyed her up and down and licked his lips. “You look perfect to me.”

She ignored the wave of heat that swept over her skin. “But um.” She swallowed hard. “But I’m sure she won’t have enough food.”

“You’re kidding, right? She like cooks for an army. She sends me home with a week’s worth of leftovers for the guys. There’ll be plenty food, I promise.” He took hold of her other hand, laced their fingers together and stepped closer. “So, you have any more excuses, or you want to give up and come with me?”

His sexy smile and close proximity were wearing her down. “Well. If you’re sure.”

“A hundred percent.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Besides, I’d love you to meet her. And I’d like her to meet you too. It’ll be a good excuse to show you where I grew up.”

»»•««

The hot August wind blew through her hair making her glad it was cinched in a ponytail today, but that was the only thing she was glad about. This wasn’t at all what she had in mind when she surprised Tony by showing up after practice. Her plan was to go somewhere quiet and talk face to face about their relationship. Now she was stuck on a two-hour road trip, which would end with her on the hot seat getting sized up by his grandmother. Ugh.

Discussing sex was awkward enough at this stage of their relationship, but for her own peace of mind, she needed to get it out in the open.

Hmmm. Maybe the car was the perfect place to talk after all. She remembered having a psych professor who advocated having serious discussions in the car. He says “car talk” eliminates the distractions that can be caused by unexplained facial expressions and misconstrued body language. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. They were only about ten minutes into the drive and she knew she couldn’t let ten minutes turn into ninety without raising the subject. It was now or never. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“You okay?” Tony asked.

“Um, yes.” Do it, Allison. Throw caution to the wind and just say it before the opportunity slips away and he starts talking about something frivolous. “Actually, no.”

Raising a brow, he asked, “What’s up?”

Allison took a long, deep breath and nervously pushed her hair behind her ear, even though no strands needed tucking. “This is kind of hard to ask, but um do you like me?”

Tony recoiled and knit his brow. “Hell yeah. Don’t you know that?”

“Sort of, I guess. But then—” She looked down at her lap and played with her bracelet. “Why don’t you want to—”

“Why don’t I wanna what?”

Allison turned toward the window and closed her eyes for a moment, wishing she didn’t have to spell it out. She figured he’d catch on by now.

“Hey.” He reached over and tapped her wrist. “Talk to me.”

She turned her head and looked at him again and blurted it out. “I’ve made it pretty clear that I want you. So why don’t you want to sleep together?” His eyes widened and he stared at the road ahead. She figured he was busy coming up a list of excuses, but instead, he started laughing. Well, if she wasn’t annoyed with him before, she certainly was now. “What’s so funny?”

He took his eyes off the road and looked at her for a moment. Facing front again, he swallowed hard. He reached for her hand and threaded their fingers before holding it against his chest. “Allie.” He glanced in her direction. “It’s because I really do care about you.”

“That sounds like a line,” she shot back quickly, shocking even herself by saying those words out loud. But that’s what she thought. It sounded insincere.

“It may sound that way, but it’s the God’s honest truth. Think about it, Allie. I slept with every other girl I’ve ever met and it meant nothing to me. The reason I haven’t slept with you yet isn’t because I don’t want to. Man, you wouldn’t believe how many cold showers I took since I met you. Look, you mean too much to me to treat you like you don’t matter, because you do. You matter to me a lot. On top of that, you’re, you know, a virgin and I want to respect you and not push.”

Allison’s brow crinkled and she blinked several times. “Wait. What makes you think I’m a virgin?”

“Um. I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You seem real innocent. You’re sweet and kind of shy and—”

“Well, I’m not,” she responded, almost defensively.

He turned to look at her and let his eyes drift over her chest before looking away. “You’re not?”

“No. I mean, by your standards maybe I am,” she said with a little more anger than he deserved. “I haven’t slept with as many people as you have, and no one since starting college, but I’m not a virgin. I’m just selective.” Now it was Tony’s turn to get quiet. He kept his eyes on the road ahead. Did she turn him off with that confession. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

He looked over at her for a moment. “I’m thinking we probably should of had this talk a long time ago.” He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. “I’m really sorry you thought I didn’t want you, ’cause that’s so not true.”

She rested her head on his chest and clutched his other hand that dangled over her shoulder. She loved hearing him say how much he liked her, that she meant more to him than those other girls. Here she’d been thinking all this time that it was the other way around. “I’m glad we had this talk too,” she uttered quietly, basking in the closeness. She tilted her head to look at him. “So does it make a difference now that you know I’m not a virgin?”

He smiled a small smile and looked into her eyes. A car horn sounded behind them and Tony faced front again. Even though he didn’t say it, she was pretty sure she knew the answer.