Callum

I can’t believe what I am seeing. Each time I open and close my eyes, the scene is the same. She is still in his arms. They are still wrapped tightly around each other. How can she do this? Did the last five years mean nothing to her? Nothing at all?

I can’t stand to be here a moment longer. Everyone is hiding behind half-empty bottles of beer whispering to their neighbors about poor Cal.

Fuck that.

I’ve got places to be.

People to see.

When I walk in the front door at home I bypass the kitchen and go straight up the stairs to my room. I’m not wanting to see my mom just yet. I’ll tell her goodbye on the way out the door. Pulling the cell phone from my pocket, I dial the number on the front of the stark white business card I chucked in the trash yesterday afternoon.

The scout answers on the first ring.

“I’ve changed my mind. Can you get me a flight tonight?”

“Yes, sir. I will call you back with the details.”

“Great. Thanks.”

After hanging up I throw what I can into a suitcase and grab the cash I had hidden away under my mattress for Amelia’s engagement ring. I don’t guess I’ll be needing it now. Well not for that anyway.

My chest is aching as what is left of my heart threatens to crumble. I can’t let go yet. I still have goodbyes to say and miles to put between us before I let the pain consume me.

When I walk in the kitchen, my mother is standing at the sink washing up what’s left of the supper dishes. I have walked in and seen this exact scene a thousand times before. This time, it burns in my mind. Maybe because I know it’s the last time I will see it. Or, maybe it’s because of how many times I daydreamed about coming home and finding Amelia standing there doing the same thing.

It’s hard to say.

“Mom?”

“Yeah, baby?” She turns to me noticing the suitcase. Tears spring to her eyes. She knows what this means. She knows where I’m going and that I won’t be coming back.

“When are you leaving?”

“Now.” She nods her head and wraps me in a tight embrace. For a second, I worry that she won’t let me go and I will miss the flight altogether. She pulls away and kisses my forehead.

“Be careful and check in, please. I’ll miss you.”

“I will, Momma. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The screen door slams shut behind me as I walk down the steps of my childhood home. I never imagined leaving it like this. In my mind when I left, it would be because I had just married Amelia. We would be moving into our first home together. She would be swollen round with my baby in her womb and I would be the happiest man on Earth. Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we plan. We are left picking up the pieces of our past. Trying to build a new future with the ashy remains of what could have been.

I have one more stop to make before I head to the airport. I hope it’s not too late.

Normally I would call first. On the off-chance they had already gone to bed, I didn’t want to wake them. When I round the street corner and see the den light on through the drapes I breathe a sigh of relief.

Walking up to the door, I tap gently and wait.

“Callum. What a pleasant surprise.”

“Hi, Mrs. Nancy. Is Carson still awake?”

“As a matter of fact he is. We were just having some hot cocoa.”

“Great. Can I speak to him for a minute?”

“Sure. I’ll send him right out.”

I take a step back and wait for the most important little man in the world to come outside. Walking away from him is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done and will ever do. I just hope he understands.

“Cal!”

“Hey, buddy. Come here. I wanted to talk to you.”

He can tell immediately that something is different. He’s not sure if it’s something good or bad, but he knows something is wrong.

“I’ve got to go away for football. I got drafted.”

“For real! That’s so cool. What team?”

“For the Bucks.”

“Oh, the Bucks are my favorite team now.”

“Are they?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, buddy but listen. I’m not going to be around anymore and things will be different. I wanted to come by and tell you bye and ask you to do me a favor.”

“Okay. I’m good at doing favors. What do you need me to do?”

“I need you to be the man of the house now buddy, and behave for your sister. Keep an eye on her and take care of her too just like she takes care of you. Can you do that?”

“Yeah, I can do that. I already have to take care of her. She loses her keys all the time and her phone too, and I have to find them.”

“Good. You keep that up. I’m going to miss you.”

“When will I see you again?”

“I don’t know buddy, but if you get to missing me too much you can always watch one of the games on TV.”

“Okay. I love you, Cal.”

“Love you too, buddy. Now get back inside and finish your cocoa.”

“Yes sir.”

I sit on the front steps and wait until I feel composed enough to be seen in public. After a while, I climb in my pickup and drive west toward St. Louis.

Screw flying.

I’m gonna need the miles between here and there to help clear my head and come to terms with the new direction my life has taken.

It’s funny. I wanted tonight to be unforgettable. I wanted to make it the best night in the world for Amelia and give her peace of mind about me staying. In the end, it was Amelia who gave me something. She taught me one hell of a valuable lesson. One I won’t be quick to forget.

If you’re not invited to the party, don’t show up ready to dance.