Chapter 13
PLAIN OL’ IN LOVE
FAWN
Waking to the smell of coffee, I roll to my stomach, lift my head toward the clock, and frown when I see it’s only seven. Levi always sleeps late on the weekends, and last night—just like the three nights before—he didn’t get in until after midnight, so I know he must be tired. Doing a stretch, I roll out of bed and grab my dad’s old flannel shirt from the back of the door. Slipping it on over my tank top and sleep boxers, I head for the bathroom and clean up, then make my way back through the bedroom and open the door. Levi is sitting on his couch, shirtless, wearing a pair of sleep pants with his laptop open in front of him on the coffee table.
“Morning, baby.” He grins as I crawl into his lap and cuddle against his chest.
“Morning.” I press my lips against his neck, then turn to see what he’s doing on his computer, but he minimized whatever he was looking at. “You’re up early.”
“Couldn’t sleep,” he says as his fingers run over the top of my bare thigh, causing a tingle to slide through me.
“Have you gotten any new leads?” I ask the same question I’ve been asking him every day for the last few days.
“Nothing new.”
“That’s not good. Have you guys been able to question Juan?” I lean back to see his face.
“He’s MIA and no one’s talking. I have a couple informants that are checking into things, but I’m not sure they will be able to find anything more than I can.”
“Do you think that maybe Tamara’s mother is on drugs or something?” I ask hopefully. I know that wouldn’t be good, but it would be better than her being dead.
“There is always a possibility that she could be b—”
“What?” I cut him off when he breaks off and his body gets tight with tension under mine.
“What I’m about to tell you stays between us, do you understand that?” he asks quietly but firmly. I know I won’t like what he tells me very much.
“Yes.” I nod, and he adjusts me until I’m straddling him, then takes my face between his large palms.
“Juan is my main suspect in the murders of two other women. Both were from his stable. Both were known to be in relationships with him prior to their deaths.” Swallowing down the sudden bile that rises to the back of my throat, I close my eyes. “I’m not saying that’s what happened to Tamara’s mother, but with her missing and his history, it’s likely that she could be one of his victims.
“My poor girl,” I whisper, and he brushes a soft kiss over my lips.
“Don’t give up hope,” he demands, running the pads of his thumbs along the underside of my jaw. “She may turn up—she may be hiding from him. All we know right now is that she’s missing.”
“I know,” I agree as a sinking feeling fills the pit of my stomach. I don’t know how Tamara will deal with the loss of her mother if she doesn’t turn up. I can’t imagine having to go through something like that at her age. I just pray she’s strong enough to get through whatever happens.
“Do you feel up to a run?” he asks, and I look out the window. Winter has hit New York, and it’s not only cold, but also it snowed yesterday evening, turning everything white except the sidewalks that have been cleared.
“Actually, yeah,” I say knowing a run will help me clear my head, which is probably the reason he’s suggesting it.
“Up you go.” He taps my thigh before helping me stand. “We’ll stop for breakfast at the diner on the way back.”
“Sounds good to me.” I give him a quick kiss when he pulls me in, and then head for his room, where most of my clothes have ended up in the last week. Actually, I don’t even remember the last time I was over at my place. We have just kind of fallen into a routine of staying at his apartment.
After putting on running gear, we head out, leaving Muffin behind—not that she’s upset about it. She didn’t even want to go out to use the bathroom, which wasn’t surprising, but Levi forced her to while I was getting ready.
I don’t listen to music like I normally do; I just run in pace with Levi, listening to his controlled breathing. By the time we are done, I’m starving and freezing, so I’m a little more excited than usual to go eat. As we make our way toward the diner hand in hand, my stomach growls, and Levi smiles down at me.
“Hungry?”
“Very.” I smile back as he pushes open the door to the restaurant. Finding an empty booth, I slide in, and just like always, he slides in next to me.
“What can I get you two?” a waitress asks, and I look up at her while blowing on the tips of my ice-cold fingers.
“Two coffees, please,” Levi says.
As she walks off, she nods, muttering, “Got it.”
“Still cold?” he asks, grabbing my hands and holding them between his warm ones.
“Yes, I knew it would be cold, but I didn’t think it would be that cold out,” I say, feeling a little dizzy as he puts the tips of my fingers against his mouth, blowing on them.
“I know something that could warm you up.” He winks, and my stomach dips.
“I bet you do.” I laugh, and he smiles and kisses me softly, then moves away when the waitress sets two cups of coffee in front of us.
“Do you know what you’d like to order?” she questions, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.
“She’ll have the chocolate chip pancakes, and I’ll have the hungry man’s breakfast,” Levi tells her. She jots down our orders on her pad, then takes off again.
“How did you know that’s what I wanted?”
“Babe, you order the same thing every time we come here, unless it’s after eleven. Then you get a turkey club.”
“I’m kinda boring.”
“You’re perfect,” he says, turning to look at me, and I notice his eyes are soft. “You’re perfect for me,” he continues, then leans in, resting his forehead to mine. “I love waking up to you and coming home to you at night.” Oh god.
“I love that, too,” I agree quietly as my stomach fills with butterflies.
“How would you feel about moving in with me?”
My mouth goes dry, and I blink at him, wondering if I just heard him correctly. “Pardon?”
“It doesn’t make sense for you to pay rent for a place you’re never at.” That’s true, but moving in together is not a step forward—it’s a giant leap.
“I . . . Don’t you think it’s way too soon for that?” I ask, and he searches my face for a long moment.
“If I thought it was, I wouldn’t be bringing it up,” he says, leaning back and touching the side of my face softly with the tips of his fingers. “When is your lease up?”
“In February,” I say quietly as my heart begins to pick up tempo at the idea of living with him.
“We can wait until then to decide if that makes you feel more comfortable.”
“I . . . This is all just very fast.” I shake my head while moving my hand between the two of us.
“Yeah, you’re right, this is all fast, but tell me you’re not happy and that this doesn’t feel right.” I would be lying if I said it didn’t feel right, if I said being with him didn’t make me happy. I’m pretty sure I’m past the falling-in-love part and now just plain ol’ in love with Levi—not that he knows it. We have spent every night together unless he’s working, but even then he always crawls into bed with me at some point during the night, and when we have days off, we’ve spent them together, hanging at home or traipsing around the city going to the movies and out to eat. I’ve even gotten him to go to a couple of museums, even though he said he hates that kind of stuff. But are we ready to live together? That I just don’t know.
“I’m happy, so, so happy, but I really think I would feel better if we waited until my lease is up to make that kind of decision,” I say regretfully, and his eyes soften as he leans closer.
“That’s fine with me, and it’s not going to change anything, so stop tearing at your lip,” he says, pulling down on my chin and forcing me to release my lip. I hadn’t even realized I was chewing on it. “I want to make sure you’re ready, too. I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for.”
“Are you . . .” I swallow and pull in a breath. “Are you ready to live with me?” He leans in close enough that I can smell the mint and coffee on his breath.
“I’ve been ready, gorgeous, but this isn’t about me being ready. It’s about you feeling secure enough with me that you know you can trust me.”
I already know I can trust him. I also know the thing that is holding me back from jumping into his arms and screaming Yes, yes, yes, I want to live with you. He never once mentioned love, and although I have no doubt that he cares about me, being in love with me is something altogether different. “Eat, baby.” He leans in, kissing me, after the waitress places our food on the table, and I do eat, wondering why I can’t just tell him that I love him.
I smile around the toothbrush in my mouth as I study the blatant happiness in my eyes. After Levi and I got back from breakfast, we spent the rest of the day making love and talking. Spitting the foam in my mouth into the sink, I rinse with water, then wipe my face.
“Babe,” Levi calls from the living room, and I smile again as I open the drawer under the vanity and dig through his stuff for the lip gloss I left there a few weeks ago.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” I yell back, dropping the gloss back into the drawer before going to the bedroom to put on my boots.
“Your sis . . . Holy shit,” he says, and I look up from the boots that I’m zipping up and find him in the doorway staring at me.
“What’s wrong?”
“Where are you going?” he asks, scanning me from the top of my head, down over the black wrap dress I’m wearing, ending on the knee-high black leather boots with pointed toes and three-inch heels on my feet.
“I told you this afternoon, remember? My sisters and I are going to Hank’s showing in SoHo.” I’m not really surprised he doesn’t remember, since I brought it up right after we had sex when we were doing the whole lazy-talk thing I love so much.
“You’re wearing a dress.”
“Yes, well, it’s a fancy showing, so I have to dress up.”
“I’ve never seen you in a dress.”
“That’s because it’s winter, and I normally don’t wear dresses in the winter unless I’m going someplace fancy, hence the showing and the dress.”
“What did you do to your hair?” he asks, wrapping a strand of my straightened hair around his finger.
“I had a little time, so I decided to straighten it,” I explain, then press my hand against his chest when he takes a step closer, so close that I know he’s going to try to make me dizzy. I don’t have time for that, because I can hear my sisters talking in the living room.
“I’m rethinking you going to this thing.”
“What?”
“You look . . . Jesus, you look fucking amazing right now.”
Smiling like a loon, I whisper, “Thanks,” then push against his chest again when he starts to get even closer. “You can’t mess me up or make me dizzy, so you need to stop.” I try to sound firm, but the words come out in a low whimper as his body presses the length of mine and his hand squeezes my ass.
“He’s not allowed to touch you.”
“Who?” I ask, dipping my head to the side as his mouth travels up my neck to my ear.
“That art dude. He’s not allowed to touch you, do you understand?”
“Why would I let him touch me?” I say, trying to comprehend what he’s saying, but my brain is short-circuiting with the way his mouth and tongue are moving along my neck.
“You wouldn’t, but I guarantee he’s going to try,” Levi says; then I feel his lips tug on my neck, and I pull back, stunned.
“Did . . . did you just try to give me a hickey?” I ask in disbelief, holding my neck, and he looks from me to the open bedroom door.
“Fawn’s gonna be a minute,” he growls toward the living room, shutting the door on my sisters, who start to laugh.
“Levi,” I warn, watching him prowl toward me. I walk backward until I have no place left to go and my back is literally against the wall. “Stop,” I plead half-heartedly, watching his eyes drop to his fingers beginning to trail along the front V of my dress, which he brings down along with my bra, baring my breasts to him.
“I’ve never felt the need to possess someone the way I feel the need to own you,” he mutters to me—or to himself—right before his mouth latches on to my breast and he pulls, sucking hard, so hard that I feel it in my core and know I’m going to have his mark on me and be soaking wet before he’s done.
“Levi.” I latch onto his hair. His fingers skate up under my dress, along my inner thigh, slide my panties to the side, and flick over my clit, making my hips jump.
“Wet. Always so damn wet for me,” he says as he runs his nose up my throat, nips my bottom lip, then thrusts his tongue into my mouth as one finger thrusts inside me, sending me to my tiptoes.
“Don’t stop,” I beg as my core starts to throb in beat with his one finger that turns into two. Just like that, with barely a touch from him, I’m already so close to flying over the edge. “Levi,” I mewl in disappointment when his fingers disappear, leaving me on the edge of an orgasm.
“When you come home, I’ll take care of you,” he says, putting his fingers to his mouth and sucking them clean, then taking a step back.
“That’s . . . that . . . that was not nice,” I pant, and he grins a grin I’ve never seen on him before, then ducks his face until we are sharing the same air.
“What’s not nice is knowing my woman looks more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her and she’s going to spend time with another man.”
“I’m not spending time with another man,” I huff as I fix my bra and my dress, completely annoyed with him and his caveman ways. “I’m spending time with my sisters.”
“Is he going to be there?”
“Well, yeah, it’s his showing, but there are going to be lots of men there.” Levi narrows his eyes on me, and then shakes his head as his phone rings.
“Fuck,” he clips, looking at the screen before putting it to his ear. “What’s up?” he asks, and I watch his eyes close briefly. “Finally. All right, I’ll be there,” he says, then hangs up.
“Is it Tamara’s mom?” I ask hopefully.
“Juan,” he says, making me feel worry and relief all in one instant.
“Where is he?”
“You know I can’t tell you that, baby,” he says, stepping toward me and wrapping his arm around my waist. “I don’t know when I’ll be home,” he says quietly. I nod, then lay my head against his chest and wrap my arms around him.
“I’ll be here when you get back,” I say, wanting so badly to tell him I love him.
“Be good and send me a text when you get to and get back from the showing.”
“I will,” I agree, feeling his lips on my hair right before he uses the tips of his fingers to tilt my head back so he can kiss my mouth. “Be safe.”
“Always,” he agrees, taking hold of my face. “You look gorgeous, baby, and you owe me a date where you wear this dress so I can take it off you when we get home.”
“Sir, you owe me a date where you give me a reason to wear this dress.” I smile, and he shakes his head, kissing me once more before letting me go. He heads for the door.
Turning to look at me with his hand on the knob, his eyes scan over me, making me feel light-headed. “I’ll plan something for next weekend,” he says, opening the bedroom door and disappearing without another word, making my heart fill with worry. It’s hard to see him leave for work whenever he has to go. Being a police officer has never been a safe occupation, but with the added tension between the police and the public right now, I worry about him whenever he wears his badge.
“Either Levi’s a five-minute man or you two didn’t have sex,” Libby states, walking into my room and plopping down onto the bed. I roll my eyes at her, then turn and dig through the closet for my ankle-length coat.
“What?” I ask when I turn to find her staring at me with wide eyes.
“You look . . . you look amazing. Holy shit, what have you done to yourself?”
“I didn’t do anything. I just straightened my hair—you’ve seen it like this before,” I say, and she shakes her head.
“No, it’s not the hair . . . it’s you . . . You look . . . you look really happy.”
“I am really happy,” I say softly, and she blinks at me, then widens her eyes.
“You’re in love.”
“How can you tell?”
“You just look happy, happier than I’ve ever seen you. Don’t worry, I doubt anyone else will notice.”
“Notice what?” Mac asks, coming into the room, and I wait to see if she sees the same thing as Libby. “You’re in love,” she states, and I feel my heart beat a little harder.
“How can you tell?”
“It’s written all over your face.”
“Do you think Levi can tell?” Mac sweeps her eyes over me.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “But I do know that the guy who just left a few minutes ago looked pretty fucking happy to me, and if I’m not mistaken, he may also be in love with you.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Yeah,” she says as her face softens. “You’re easy to love, Fawn. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he’s in love with you, too.” God, I hope he is in love with me, because the idea of him not caring for me the way I care for him is enough to make me feel sick.
“He told me today that he wants us to move in together.”
“And you’re sitting here questioning if he loves you or not?” Libby says, shaking her head. “No man would want to live with a woman unless he’s in love with her. Trust me, if I didn’t love Mac, I sure as hell wouldn’t live with her.”
“Oh, please, you love living with me,” Mac says, and Libby rolls her eyes, then looks at her watch. “We should probably go if we’re going to make it on time.”
“Yes, let’s go. I don’t want to spend too much time overanalyzing this,” I say as Mac’s phone starts to ring. Pulling it out, she looks at the screen, rolls her eyes, and shoves it back in her coat pocket.
“Who is that?”
“No one.”
“Seriously, are you still on the whole I’m not telling you anything gig?” I ask, studying her.
She presses her lips together, then mutters, “Fine. It’s Wesley.”
“So you do know him. Ha.” I point at her, and she lets out a loud huff.
“Yes, we know each other.”
“And?” I draw it out, and she crosses her arms defensively.
“And nothing. I know him, that’s all.”
“You’re so full of crap. Are you sleeping with him?” I ask, and her cheeks turn a dark shade of pink. “You are, I can tell you are.”
“I’m not sleeping with that man.”
“Oh yes, you are, I heard you when you came home last night.” Libby glares at her, then looks at me. “She was all, ‘Stop it. My sister’s here. You need to leave before she finds out about us,’ blah, blah, blah. Seriously, either we need a bigger place or I need to get a place of my own.”
“I can’t believe you just said that,” Mac breathes, and Libby crosses her arms over her chest, raising a brow.
“Really, and what is the point of you hiding your relationship with him?”
“I’m not in a relationship with him, I’m just having a little fun.”
“Whatever. You two are together all the time, and do not even try to deny it, because I know it’s true.”
“It’s complicated.”
“How is it complicated?” I ask softly. Mac looks at me, wringing her hands together.
“It . . . him and me.” She tosses her head back toward the ceiling. “God, I don’t know. I really like him, but I just don’t know. After what happened with Edward, I just don’t know if I can put myself out there again.”
“I don’t want to point out the obvious, but Edward was kind of a dick.”
“Not kind of, he was a dick.” Libby shakes her head.
“I know, I’m just afraid I’m going to be let down.”
“You won’t know unless you try, and Wesley seems nice and genuine. I think he deserves a real chance.”
“You’re right,” she agrees, pulling in a deep breath.
“And I, for one, would like to know how you met him.” Mac presses her lips together.
“Oh, me, too,” Libby says, wiggling her brows.
“I know.” I look between the two of them. “How about we skip the showing and go have sushi at our spot?”
“Yes,” Libby cries, and I laugh, then say goodbye to Muffin and lead my sisters out of Levi’s apartment. We get into a cab and head downtown to our favorite sushi spot, where we eat way too much and drink sake while Mac fills us in on everything that is Wesley.
“I’m so full,” Mac groans as we walk out of the restaurant a couple of hours later.
Smiling at her, I pull out my cell phone when it rings, feeling my stomach melt when I see Levi’s calling.
“Hey, honey, we—”
“Fawn,” says a voice I don’t recognize, and my step falters.
“Yes.”
“Shit. This is Wesley, I . . . Fuck.” He pauses, and I can hear that he’s upset, which puts me immediately on guard. “I need you to come to Lenox Hill Hospital,” he says. My stomach drops, and my hands start to shake.
“What happened?”
“Levi was shot. He’s in surgery now.”
“No,” I breathe, feeling my sisters get close. “Please tell me you’re lying.” My eyes close, and I wait for the inevitable to come as I feel my heart split open.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he says as Mac slides my phone out of my hand.
Hearing Mac tell him we will be there soon and that we don’t need a police escort, I lean into Libby as she leads me to the sidewalk and puts out her hand for a cab.
“It will be okay,” Mac soothes, and I nod my head, praying she’s right. I don’t know what I will do if Levi’s not okay. I don’t even want to think about what I will do if he’s not.
“I . . .” I swallow over the lump in my throat. “I need to tell his family. They need to know what happened.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Libby says as she helps me into the back of the cab. “I’ll call Mom and have her get in touch with Levi’s mom. Don’t worry about that right now.”
Pulling in a deep breath through my nose, I let it out and hold on to my sisters’ hands as we ride to the hospital. As soon as we arrive, we head inside, where Wesley is waiting for us.
“What have they said?” I ask him as soon as he’s close, and he shakes his head.
“Nothing yet. We’re still waiting for an update.” His eyes go to Mac, and he reaches over, taking her hand.
“Where was he hit?” I ask as he starts to lead us toward a group of elevators.
“Right shoulder. The shot was through and through, but he lost a lot of blood.”
“Did they say if he would be okay?” Libby asks as my mouth dries up and my stomach rolls.
“He’ll be okay, but he was asking for Fawn when they were rushing him into surgery. He wanted you here,” he says.
I nod and step onto the elevator with my sisters flanking me, vowing that when I see Levi again, I will tell him I love him.