Chapter 9
WAY TOO FAST
FAWN
Knocking on Levi’s door, I chew on my bottom lip in nervousness. When I left him this morning to catch my train, I hadn’t planned on seeing him again until after the weekend. But once I got to my parents’ house out on Long Island and walked through the door, all I could do was think about him being home alone tomorrow on Thanksgiving. My mom, who knew exactly why I was in such a strange mood, pulled me aside and suggested I leave and spend the holiday with Levi. I didn’t debate for a second. I kissed my family goodbye and got back on the train to come home. Only now I’m wondering if I should have. Yes, the last two weeks with Levi have been amazing—magical, really. But we are still very new, and spending holidays together is a big, giant step forward, even if we have spent every night in the same bed and under the same roof unless he had to work.
Hearing the locks click, I come out of my head and pull my shoulders back, feeling my stomach fill with nervous butterflies.
“Baby.” His eyes scan over me slowly from head to toe, like he’s checking to make sure I’m okay. “What’s going on? Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, I . . .” I pause, wondering what I should say, exactly, then figure the truth is probably the best place to start. “I couldn’t stand the idea of you being home alone tomor—” My words come to an abrupt end as he nabs my hand and pulls me into his apartment, slamming the door, pushing me back against it. My purse falls to the floor. “Levi—” My hands go to his bare chest as he moves closer, pressing his body against mine.
“You—” He pauses, searching my face, and I watch his eyes darken to a deeper, richer amber color. “You came back to spend Thanksgiving with me?” he asks quietly, and I feel my face soften as my hands move up his chest to his shoulders while his hand wraps around the back of my head and his fingers slide up into my hair.
“Yes, I came back to spend Thanksgiving with you.”
“We have no food for tomorrow,” he says, dropping his mouth to my neck, licking up the column of my throat as his free hand slides up the front of my shirt, over my stomach, stopping to rest on the underside of my breast.
“Th . . . that’s okay,” I pant, pressing my head back into the door as his lips, tongue, and teeth work along my neck. “We can eat out,” I moan as he pulls down the cup of my bra and slides his thumb over my nipple.
“No,” he denies, shaking his head. “I don’t want to eat out.” He licks up to my ear, making the space between my legs pulse. “I want to eat you.”
“Oh,” I breathe, closing my eyes. We’ve done a lot—I mean, a lot—of fooling around over the last two weeks, but he’s never gone too far and has always stopped before things could get out of hand, insisting I need to understand what giving myself to him means.
“You’re mine, Fawn, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” I don’t even hesitate or try to deny it. I’m his, all his. He pulls back to look at me, and I stare into his eyes, which have become so familiar and so important.
“There’s no going back. I won’t let you go,” he says with a finality that should scare me as his hand tangles more tightly in my hair, like he’s afraid his words will cause me to disappear.
“Good,” I say, meaning that sentiment with everything in me. I don’t want him to let me go. Ever. I know this is fast, but I also know the thought of being without him makes me panic.
“Christ.” He drops his forehead to mine, resting it there for a moment before moving his hands to my ass. “Hop up,” he commands, lifting me until my legs encircle his hips. Carrying me across his apartment, he takes me into his room and kicks the door closed. “Lose the jacket and the shirt, baby,” he says softly, keeping me in his arms. Working quickly I slip off my jacket, then pull my long-sleeved shirt off over my head, leaving me in a sheer dark-burgundy—almost black—lace bra. As soon as I drop the shirt to the ground, his mouth lands against mine and we’re moving again. Putting one knee, then the other on the bed, Levi walks us across the mattress, then lays me down with my head resting on the pillow. His mouth never leaves mine as my fingers run through his thick hair and my hips arch into his. Pulling back, he sits up on his knees, and my eyes rake over him. His hair has grown out a little over the last two weeks and now curls around his ears and the back of his neck. His eyes are darker and filled with something warm, something I know is only for me. His jaw is hard and grinding as he looks me over. Dropping my eyes to the expanse of his chest, the cut of his abs, and the deep V that disappears into his sweats—and the outline of his giant erection—my core pulses. He’s perfect.
“Fuck, I don’t know where the fuck to start.” His hand wraps around my neck, then slides down between my breasts, over my stomach and to my jeans, which he unbuttons and unzips, exposing the lace panties that match my bra. Sliding both hands up my waist, he cups my breasts, then pulls down the lace to expose my nipples to his gaze.
“Levi.” My hips lift, and I feel the hard ridge of his cock against my pussy through the layers of fabric between us. “Please.” He pulls my jeans down over my hips, then runs two fingers over the lace covering me before removing the jeans and tossing them to the ground. Putting me back in the same position I was in moments ago, his fingers slide back down over the lace covering my core.
“God, you’re already so fucking wet for me,” he groans, bending forward and putting his fist on the bed near my shoulder. I watch as his muscles flex. “I love that. I’m going to enjoy every drop you can give me,” he says, kissing me once more, deep and desperate, like he can’t get enough of me. Running my hands through his hair, I skate them down the smooth skin of his back as his weight presses me into the mattress and my legs wind tighter around his hips. Pulling his mouth away from mine, he licks, nibbles, and bites down my neck to my breasts, where he proceeds to torment me by licking around my nipples—avoiding giving me what I really need.
“Levi.” I take hold of his hair, watching him grin right before he pulls my nipple into his mouth, tugging hard on the stiff bud before letting it go and blowing a cool breath across it. Moaning, I arch into him as his fingers skim down my stomach, making my muscles twist. As he runs his fingers along the edge of my panties, I wait impatiently for what’s to come, feeling my body start to shake. The moment his fingers finally slide under the edge of my panties and down between my folds through the wetness he’s created, his mouth latches onto my neglected nipple and he sucks hard. My back leaves the bed, and my hands leave his hair to latch onto his shoulders. Digging my nails in, I hold on tight. Feeling one thick finger enter me, I arch farther into his touch and circle my hips, moaning loudly.
“Oh,” I whisper as he hits my G-spot. Then I moan down his throat as he kisses me and thrusts his tongue into my mouth, moving it in sync with the one finger that soon turns into two.
Pulling from my mouth, he kisses me softly, then moves down my body, leaving wet, openmouthed kisses along the way. “I want you to watch,” he says, and I open my eyes that I didn’t know were closed and look down the length of my body. I watch him as he opens his mouth over the lace covering my core and sucks hard. My heels dig into the bed and my hips lift as I grab onto his hair, needing something to keep me from floating away.
“Yes,” I moan, lifting my hips, offering myself up to him. He pulls my panties to the side; the feel of his wet tongue on me without anything between us makes the moment that much more erotic.
“Christ, you taste like heaven,” he growls against me, making me pant. Feeling him licking and circling my clit as his fingers work ruthlessly inside me, I know it won’t be much longer before I fall apart.
“Levi,” I cry, overwhelmed by the things he’s doing to me. Moving one hand up my stomach, he takes my nipple between his thumb and middle finger, twists, and pulls. “I’m—”
“I’ll catch you, baby, let go,” he says, and I do. I let go and fall over the edge, my body buzzing and stars dancing behind my closed eyelids. I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life, and I know only he can make me feel like this. Only he has the power to take me to the edge of bliss and send me over with the promise to catch me when I land. Slowly the muscles of my thighs that had tightened loosen, and my body relaxes back against the bed. He licks me once more, slowly, before moving back and pulling my panties down my legs, tossing them behind him before forcing my legs apart and settling his hips between mine.
“Let’s get this off you,” he says. Reaching behind me, he unhooks my bra and gently removes it from my shoulders. Then he leans down, placing a kiss to the tips of each of my breasts, to allow his weight to settle against me. Wrapping myself around him, I pull his face down to mine and kiss him, hoping that he knows what he means to me. Feeling his cock nudge my entrance, I lift my hips, listening to him growl.
“Please,” I beg, and his muscles tense and flex.
“I can’t do this,” he says, suddenly pulling away, and my heart begins to crack open.
“Wh—” I start to ask what the hell he means, but then he rolls us until I’m straddling him.
“I’m lost in you, baby.” He takes my face between his large palms. “So fucking unbelievably lost in you, Fawn, and I don’t trust myself right now. I don’t want to hurt you, so I’m going to let you set the pace.” I finally catch his meaning and feel his hard length nestled between my wet folds. Dropping forward, I rest my palms against his chest, watching his eyes darken with lust as they move over my hair, face, and breasts. “Fuck.” His head tips back, and his fingers dig into my hips as I move along his hard length. Watching the muscles in his neck and the way his jaw grows tight, I roll my hips, feeling myself become even more turned on. I love this power, I love that I’m in control—it’s an aphrodisiac of its own kind.
“Fawn,” he growls, tipping his eyes to mine, and there is no missing the warning in his tone. Biting my bottom lip, I move my hand between us and wrap it around his length, amazed that my fingers don’t come close to meeting. Holding him, I line myself up, rubbing the tip against my clit. My head falls back, and my free hand moves to my breast without thought. “Fawn.” He grabs my hips, and my eyes drop to his, feeling heavy with desire. Shaking his head, his teeth snap together as I slide the tip of him inside and slowly slide down his length, feeling him stretch and fill me. He’s so thick and long that there is a bite of pain with every inch of him I take inside me.
“Oh god.” My head falls back once more as I seat myself on him and his thumb sweeps over my clit.
“Look at me.” My gaze meets his as my body starts to buzz again when I see how hard he’s trying to hold back.
Moving against him, slow at first, I quicken my pace as his thumb circles faster. I’m close, already so close again. Moaning loudly I rock against him, watching his eyes flare and his muscles bunch. “Levi.” My body bucks as he sits up, pulling my legs to wrap around his back, locking us together. Holding me tightly against him, his mouth takes mine in a soft, gentle kiss that has my toes curling. I have never felt more connected to another human in my life—I’ve never felt closer to anyone than I do to him right now. Tears start to build in my throat as we rock together, touch, and kiss. Holding him as tightly as he’s holding me, I come unexpectedly, listening to him groan as I do.
“Shh,” he hushes me when his fingers find my clit once more, and I begin to whimper. My body is overstimulated; every nerve ending feels like it’s exposed. Laying me back on the bed, he stays planted inside me as he wraps my legs around his waist, then pulls out slowly.
“Levi.” I lift my head, burying my face against his neck as he thrusts in, hitting something deep inside me I didn’t even know was there. My nails dig into his back as my heels fall down to his ass. This is too much, way too much, feeling him inside me, his weight pressing me into the bed, his scent seeping into my pores—all of my senses are overwhelmed with everything that is him.
“Fawn.” His fingers skate up my side, along the edge of my breast, over my collarbone before he takes hold of my jaw, forcing my head back. “Kiss me, baby.” He thrusts in, and I watch his muscles bunch as I run my fingers into the back of his hair and force him closer to me. Licking across his lower lip before kissing him, I watch his eyes flare. His thrusts become faster, more erratic.
“Oh,” I cry as he pulls his mouth from mine and drops his face to my chest, where he pulls my breast deep into his mouth. Biting my bottom lip to keep myself from screaming out, I cling to him with every part of me as I come, once more tightening around him. Letting go of my breast, his mouth covers mine, and he groans down my throat as I pulse around him. Panting heavily, we share the same breath, and I can feel his heart beating hard against my chest with my own. “That was—”
“Amazing,” he finishes for me, and I kiss his jaw, thinking amazing is the understatement of the century. What just happed was beautiful and life changing. Without losing our connection, he rolls us until we’re face-to-face on our sides, then his hand wraps around the back of my skull and he tucks my head under his chin, wrapping his other arm around my back. “Thank you for coming back to spend Thanksgiving with me,” he says quietly, and those stupid tears I felt earlier come back. Swallowing them down I nod my head, too afraid he will hear them in my voice if I try to speak.
“Tired?”
“Yes,” I whisper against his skin, cuddling deeper into his chest, feeling my eyes grow heavy. I mumble, “Three orgasms will do that to a girl.” Listening to him laugh makes me smile.
“Christ,” he groans, and I blink my eyes open, not knowing when I fell asleep. I hear a paw hit the door. I’m such a bad dog mom—I didn’t even greet my girl when I came in, not that Levi gave me a chance to, but still. “She probably needs to go out. You wanna stay here or come out with me?” he asks, and I tip my head back to look at him.
“I’ll stay, if that’s okay,” I say, feeling too exhausted to get up and get dressed to go outside. “All right, baby.” His eyes search mine for a long time before he closes his eyes and shakes his head. I want to ask him what he’s thinking, but before I can, he leans down to kiss my forehead, and then my lips. Rolling me to my back, he pulls out of me slowly, making me mewl in protest, and my arms tighten around him. I don’t want to let him go, and he must know what I’m thinking, because he smirks. Bending his head he presses a soft kiss to my lips. “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” I agree, releasing him. Watching him stand, grab his sweats off the floor, and put them on, I sit up and move until I’m leaning back against the headboard. I pull the sheet up around me and tuck it under my arms. These last two weeks I’ve watched him get dressed just like I’m doing now, I’ve run with him in the mornings, lazed with him in bed, eaten breakfast and dinner with him, whispered in the dark about the future—but even with all of that, nothing could have prepared me for what I’m feeling right now. I knew it would happen eventually, but I didn’t expect to feel the way I do right now. This is way too fast, I know it is, but I also know there is no denying that I’m falling in love with him.
“You okay, baby?” he asks, and my eyes focus on his.
“Uh . . . yeah.” I nod, wondering if he can see what I’m feeling right now, and I bite my lip.
“You sure?” God, he’s so nice, so perfect.
“Yeah.” I nod again. “I’m sure. Just wondering if we will be able to find a turkey tomorrow,” I say to cover what I’m really thinking.
“We can go out early. This is Manhattan—somewhere will have a turkey.”
“Do you know how to cook one?” I ask, and he grins smugly. “Never mind, of course you would know how to cook a turkey.” I roll my eyes, watching his smile until it disappears behind a shirt he pulls down over his head. Hearing Muffin’s paw hit the door again and her huff of aggravation, I start to get up to let her in but lean back once more as he goes to the door and twists the knob.
As soon as the door is open, Muffin unexpectedly pushes past him to get to me and hops up onto the bed. “Hey, girl,” I greet her as she pushes her face into my chest. Rubbing her head, I scratch her behind her ears, then smile as she drops to the bed to lie down with her head in my lap. “Maybe she didn’t need to go out after all,” I say, looking up at Levi.
“She’s going, even if I have to carry her,” he mutters, putting a hoodie on over his shirt. Smiling at that, I debate getting up and putting something on just so I can watch if that really does happen. “Why are you smiling?”
“Just picturing you carrying Muffin down the block after she’s refuses to budge.” I laugh, and he shakes his head.
“She’s doing better since her classes have started.” He’s right—last week I took her to one obedience class by myself, and Levi came with me to another one. She did well, but I think it was more about the constant feeding of treats than anything else. “It may take some time, but she’ll get there,” he says, walking toward the bed. Leaning over Muffin, he wraps his hand around the side of my face, then leans in and kisses me before pulling back to look down at Muffin. He rubs the top of her head. “Come on, girl.” She lifts her head off my lap to look at him, and I expect her to lie right back down, but she surprises me by standing and jumping down off the bed and trotting out of the room.
“Be right back.” He leans over, kissing me again, then stands and walks out of the room. I hear the front door open and close. Rolling over, I get up and head for the bathroom, picking up my panties off the floor as I go. Turning on the light near the door, I walk to the sink and look at myself in the mirror. My blonde hair is out of control, the curls that I thought I tamed this morning are now wild. My eyes are sparkling and my lips swollen. Turning on the warm water, I clean up quickly, then put on my panties and head for the bedroom. Not wanting to wear the clothes I came home in, I grab one of Levi’s shirts from a drawer and slip it on over my head before pulling my hair out of the neck, feeling the fabric brush against my thighs as I drop my arms.
Padding to the kitchen to get a glass of water, I stop in the living room on the way back to the bed when something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. Moving across the room without thinking, I feel my stomach melt. Sitting on the coffee table is Levi’s open laptop, with the sleep screen sliding through picture after picture—some with him and his family, others with him and me. I didn’t even know he had taken so many pictures of us together. Taking a seat on the couch, I turn the computer to face me and watch the pictures slide by until I hear the doorknob turning. Jumping off the couch, feeling like I’m going to be caught doing something I shouldn’t be, I run for the bedroom, stubbing my toe on the edge of the bed right before I fall into it. Turning over quickly, I sit back and pull the blanket over my lap.
“Back, babe,” he calls from the living room, and I take a breath, trying to fight back the pain in my toe.
“That didn’t take long,” I squeak through the pain.
“No,” he says, walking into the bedroom, ripping off his sweatshirt, and tossing it into his closet. “She handled her business as soon as we made it across the street to the park,” he says, then turns to look at me, frowning. “Are you okay?”
“Fine . . . Why?” I say casually, like my toe isn’t throbbing so badly that I wonder if it isn’t broken.
“You look a little flushed.”
“Hmm, weird. I don’t know, maybe it’s hot in here,” I say, trying to shrug off his concern.
“What’s wrong?” he asks again, and tears from the pain start to fill my eyes.
“Nothing.”
“You’re getting ready to cry,” he points out, and I pull in a breath through my nose to fight the tears back.
“I think I broke my toe.” I squeeze my eyes closed.
“What?” He frowns, studying me.
“I think I broke my toe,” I repeat, and he takes a step closer to the bed.
“I was gone maybe fifteen minutes. How did you break your toe in that time?”
“I stubbed it when I was jumping into bed,” I admit, opening my eyes as he pulls the blanket off me. I yank my foot away from him when it looks like he’s going to prod at it, and his eyes meet mine.
“Let me look at it, baby.”
“Don’t touch it,” I say through a panted breath. The idea of him touching it is enough to make me scream out in pain.
“I won’t touch it,” he agrees, and I slowly slide my foot back toward him. Picking it up he lifts my leg off the bed and carefully twists it this way and that while looking at my second toe.
“It hurts bad.”
“You’ll be okay.”
“Do I need to go to the hospital?”
“No, just ice every twenty minutes and a couple of pain pills,” he says, carefully placing a kiss to the top of my foot before setting it down on the bed.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I’ll get some ice and aspirin,” he says, propping my foot up on a pillow. “Why were you jumping into bed?”
“It’s just something I do sometimes.” I shrug, and his eyes narrow. “Fine, I was looking at your computer . . . the pictures on your slide show,” I add quickly, not wanting him to think I was going through his computer. “I heard you coming in and I . . . I didn’t want you to think I was snooping through your stuff.”
“I’m not sure it’s snooping when I leave the thing out and open, but I am sure you’re accident-prone and should probably keep that in mind when doing crazy shit.”
“I wasn’t doing crazy shit,” I defend as Muffin wanders into the room and lays her head on the side of the bed near my hip.
“I’m not going to argue with you about it. I’ll be back.”
“I’m not arguing,” I mutter under my breath. He shakes his head and leaves the room, coming back a few minutes later with a glass of water, two red-and-blue pills, and a bag of ice. He hands me the pills and water; I take them quickly while he goes to the bathroom and comes back out with a towel that he wraps the ice in before placing it on my foot. “Thank you,” I whisper as he kisses my forehead before stands back up.
“Any time.” He smiles as I lean my head back against the headboard and watch him pull off his shirt and kick off his sneakers. “Go lie down, girl,” he tells Muffin, who has walked over and leaned into him. Dropping my gaze to her, I watch her walk across the wood floors and lie down on a dog bed in the corner of the room that I hadn’t noticed before. The thing looks expensive—it’s thick, maybe seven inches deep, and more than big enough for her, with black corduroy material along the outside edge and plush, soft-looking gray material on the top. “You got Muffin a bed,” I say, watching her turn in circles before plopping down with a groan.
“Yeah, she’s not sleeping in bed with us, and I know there are times she wants to be in here, so I’m compromising with her.”
“You’re compromising with her,” I repeat in awe. He got my dog a bed for his place, he has pictures of us together as the screen saver on his computer, he told me that he wasn’t letting me go. Studying him, I wonder if he might not be falling a little in love with me, too.