“What did you just say?” My head jerks backward, and I narrow my eyes at JJ who is standing in front of me rubbing his temples. He looks old, tired.
“We’ve checked her out. I’m ninety-nine percent sure she’s my daughter.”
“I don’t …” I press my knuckles into my eyes, rubbing them and trying to make sense of the words that have just left his mouth. “How? I thought …” I struggle to form a sentence, and years of conversations with JJ run through my mind. He’d never mentioned he had a daughter. Never wanted children, so he said. Lia couldn’t have them after an incident in her twenties, so that was just another reason why they were perfect together. “So there is a possibility she’s not your daughter. I mean, ninety-nine percent certain means there’s one percent chance she’s nothing to do with you, and you’re clutching at straws, right?” Even as the words leave my lips, I don’t believe them. I see it now, as clear as day. As I visualize Sadie, and look intently at JJ, the resemblance is there. Her sharp cheekbones, the angle of her chin, even the way her brows crease when she frowns at something I’ve said.
She’s JJ in a female form.
Fuck.
“Look.” JJ pulls back his shoulders. “It’s a fucking long story. But we’ve had a fucking long night, and there’s still so much shit to sort out. I’ll happily tell you it all, man, but I ain’t gonna do it here.” He throws a glance over his shoulder toward the police station. “I got Dev, Ruck, and Sadie to think about. I ain’t got the time or inclination for reminiscing right now.”
“Right,” I mumble under my breath. His revelation had stunned me, and for a second there, I didn’t think about Dev or Ruck, or even the fact that Ruck is missing—along with Sadie. So much shit.
“We gotta get back to HQ, call a meeting, and lock shit down tight, Prez.” Tex voices reason and logic, as he solidly squeezes my shoulder with his big banana hands.
“Let’s go.” JJ strides off without another word, climbing into Tex’s truck and staring out of the window.
“It’s fucked up, Tex,” I tell him, thinking of everything that happened—everything that’s yet to happen.
“I know, man.”
“I shouldn’t have messed with Dago and Spice,” I groan quietly, thinking aloud. “If I hadn’t—”
“They had to be told. They messed with us before we pulled that shit. They should have been waiting for it. Got too comfortable without their Prez, I’d say.”
“Clearly not. Because now they have Ruck and Sadie, and fuck knows what they’re doing to them. FUCK KNOWS!” I yell, digging my fingernails into my scalp and yanking at my hair in frustration. I try to steer my mind from what could be happening to them, but all I see is their broken, beaten bodies, tied to chairs as we did with Dago and Spice.
Tex pushes me toward the van with his hand between my shoulders. “Come on, let’s go and sort this shit out.”
None of us speak on the ride back to HQ. Blame lingers in the air, and it’s all we can do to not tear into each other. Mostly, I blame myself, and the rage that this inward blame is inducing is making me volatile and dangerous when I need to be clear-headed and focused. But, how can I think logically when the most important people in the world to me have been taken, with the very real possibility of them being tortured, or maybe even dead.
Sadie’s tough. She’s the most badass chick I know apart from Lia, but could she take that? Could she hold her own against a den of mangy Wolves? Wolves that wouldn’t think twice about breaking her beautiful body. And Ruck. Not only my club brother but my blood brother. He won’t survive this. His body might be able to recover from whatever hell they put him through, but his mind… it’s already fractured. Too many pieces have been put back together too many times.
No one talks as we stride through the bar. The air is heavy with questions, concern, and fear. It doesn’t matter how hard you are, how fierce your psyche is, or how cast-iron your stomach is, there’s always room for fear. Fear of what happens next. Fear for your loved one’s safety. Fear for your brothers.
“Grab a drink, Ramsey,” JJ suggests.
“Nah,” I grunt, my pace not slowing as I plow past everyone.
“Ramsey!” JJ yells behind me as I make for my room.
“Just fuck off,” I grit out. I need space. Just a couple of minutes to myself.
I shut off the world in my head and concentrate on keeping my feet moving forward. I shove open the door to my room, not knowing if I want to tear someone limb from limb or curl up in a ball and die. If anything happens to Ruck…or Sadie…
As I kick the door closed behind me, it gets pushed back open with full force causing me to lose my balance. I just about right myself and JJ is in my face before I can blink. I’ve never seen him like this. So enraged. So painfully passionate. “Get your ass up to the fucking table, NOW!”
“I ain’t—”
“You ain’t good for shit in this state. Your brother is missing. Your woman is missing, too. Dev is in the hospital with half his fucking face hanging off, and you’re storming off and slamming doors like a fucking teenager. Get your shit together, Ramsey.” He shoves hard at my shoulders, forcing me backward, and I stumble over my own feet, catching myself before I land on my ass.
I glare at him, clenching my jaw tightly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I demand, yelling in his face.
His expression softens, and his shoulders slump. “I had to be sure, I—”
“You never even said you had a daughter. No one knew. So you can see why this is so fucking out of the blue, Prez. You keeping any other secrets you should tell me about?”
“Ramsey,” he warns, lowering his chin and looking at me through narrowed eyes.
“Well, come on then.” I open my arms wide, gesturing at the space between us. “Let’s lay all of our cards on the table here…”
“You didn’t need to know,” he growls, stepping forward and planting his boot firmly with a thud. “I thought I’d lost her twenty years ago, Ramsey. Twenty fucking years ago!” His voice echoes out into the corridor. “A lot of shit has happened since then. A lot of shit. Too much to dwell on, and we are wasting fucking precious time answering your pussy-assed questions when we could be planning our next move on how we’re going to get them back.”
“Fine,” I bark. I’m so damn annoyed at the situation. Fucking heartbroken at the thought of Ruck and Sadie being hurt, and bursting with crazy, untapped rage that I can’t see straight. I fling open the doors of my wardrobe and unlock the metal cabinet that sits on the shelf.
“What are you doing?” JJ asks, coming to stand behind me.
I pull out two pistols. “I’ve been saving these for a special occasion. Bullets that I’ve been waiting to use to put down a wolf or two, marked with all their fucking names.”
“Ram, you’re not gonna need them right now…”
“Yeah…I am.” I turn to face him, a pistol in each hand. “If you think I’m leaving my woman, and my brother, in the hands of The Wolves, to do whatever they want to them, you can think again, my man. Ain’t gonna happen.” I swallow loudly. “You think they’re gonna take them for a picnic? They won’t. They’ll hurt them. They’ll hurt them real fucking bad, to hurt us, don’t you understand? I will tear the place up and put down every one of them if they so much as harm a hair on their heads…” I shake my head slowly, my racing thoughts driven by fear and revenge.
“And if I have to cuff you to the chair to stop you from doing so, I will,” JJ says quietly.
“What’s your problem, Prez? You finally lost those shriveled up balls of yours? Hand them on a plate to Lia, did you?” I sneer. Immediately I know I should never have mentioned Lia. She holds no significance to the way I’m feeling, or indeed how JJ is acting. It’s my frustration—my fear.
JJ catches my wrist, pushing it up fast and slamming the spine of the gun into my face. “You were warned, Ramsey,” he bites. The pain shooting through my cheek stuns me momentarily, and he swings a left hook, catching me right on the chin and knocking me on my ass. I don’t fight back. I deserve this. In fact, the pain is a welcome distraction from the torment in my head. His knee lands on my chest as he presses his weight into me with his hand wrapped tightly around my throat. My airway burns as I gasp for breath.
“I know you’re hurting,” he growls. “I know you’re pissed. But I’ve warned you. Never, EVER, mention Lia like that again. You fucking hear me, boy?” He releases his hold on my throat and grabs my t-shirt instead—jumping up and hauling me up onto my feet. “Don’t push me, Ramsey. I’m on the fucking edge.” His voice tails off as he talks and it’s obvious that this is affecting him as much as it is me.
“Prez…I—” I start to apologize. I’m hurting. But he’s fucking hurting, too. Not only did he lose his daughter twenty years ago, but he only just got her back, and she’s gone again.
“Shut the fuck up and listen.” He snatches one of the guns from my hand, weighing it in his palm. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna have a meeting with the other guys, BUT, we ain’t gonna tell them about Sadie and you know, me being her father. They don’t need to know that shit, and especially before we even have the chance to tell her. Lia, Tex, and you are the only ones that know. Keep it that way, yes?”
“Yeah, man. I—”
He interrupts again, and that’s his way of telling me he doesn’t want my apology. He just wants me to respect him and his old lady. “They want leverage. Ruck and Sadie are worth shit to them dead. They ain’t gonna do anything bad just yet, so let’s make a plan. We need to find out what they want. I ain’t giving them Reno, VP. I ain’t giving them shit. But I will let them think we’re going to give them the goddamn earth. Whatever it takes to get them back safely, got me?” I nod. He’s had longer than me to mull this over. The dark circles around his sunken eyes tell me he’s been up all night thinking of nothing else. “You’ve got five minutes to get your shit together and get your ass up to the table, or I’m locking you in this damn room until it’s over, and then I’ll appoint a new VP and strip you of your patch, hear me?”
“Yes, boss.” I nod. He’s leading us. All the doubts I had about his commitment, his passion for the club, are unfounded. Because when it’s down to the wire, and we need his level head, he’s right here.
He punches my shoulder lightly, then hands back my gun. “Put this away. We don’t need it right now. You’ll be able to take her out to play soon enough.”
I take it back and toss them both in the box as JJ walks away. “This really changes shit, doesn’t it?”
“Ram, every day shit changes around here. This one just happens to be more fucking major than others.”