Kate
Matteo stayed with me the entire night. It’s the first time he’s ever done that. It was comforting having a warm body next to me while I slept. He even allowed me to sleep with an arm and leg untied so he could spoon me. It’s the first time since I’ve been here that I didn’t wake up startled and wondering where I was. Instead, I woke up to the sound of the train going by and birds chirping. Not so bad.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
Matteo startles me out of my thoughts. I turn my head toward him to find his green eyes beaming. He’s happier than I’ve ever seen. I did that for him. I’ve turned an angry monster into a man who has something worth living for. There’s something very empowering about that.
I smile and attempt to cover up my dragon breath from not brushing my teeth in a couple of days. What I wouldn’t give for some floss, a toothbrush, and mouthwash. “Good morning.”
He takes a tendril of my hair and begins to curl it around his fingers. “How did you sleep?”
“Hmmm, like a baby. I think it’s the best night sleep I’ve had.” I close my eyes and shimmy into a more comfortable position.
“I’m glad. Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat.” He’s never offered to make any food. He’s always had something delivered by one of his men from a local restaurant.
“I am, but I really have to pee. Do you think I could use the bathroom instead of the bedpan this time?” I don’t expect to hear the answer I want. He’s only allowed me to go the bathroom just the once. He’s insisted that he take care of every one of my needs. While I’ve become accustomed to him waiting on me hand and foot, it would be nice to get out of this bed if only for a little bit.
“I’m not sure I can trust you completely yet.” He’s apprehensive and the look on his face is all business. At least I know what he’s thinking about and he might be getting closer to allowing me some freedom and privileges.
I think I need to give it one more shot. I’m not worried about being punished. I think we’ve reached a new phase in our relationship or whatever you’d call this. “Please, it’s so awkward going on that pan, and I’d love just to be able to stand up for a few minutes. My back is a little sore from lying flat for so long.”
“Fine, but your hands will be tied the entire time.”
Despite his intense stare, I’m giddy. I feel a sense of victory. I’m able to use a bathroom like a normal human being. I want to jump up and down, and do the happy dance, but my restraints prevent that from happening.
Matteo quickly unties my other arm restraint and then ties my hands together before releasing my legs. He helps me sit up on the side of the bed. I’m a little light-headed at first, but it goes away quickly. My knees become wobbly the instant I stand up. I can’t believe how weak they’ve become in such a short amount of time. I need to practice some calisthenics or something to keep my strength up. I don’t want an opportunity to become more vulnerable than I already am.
I take my time walking into the bathroom. Even though I have to go bad, I’m afraid of falling. Matteo doesn’t push, but instead stays with me the entire time. In a way, this is comforting. On the other hand, it would be awesome to go to the bathroom in private for once. I don’t mind peeing in front of someone, but it’s embarrassing when I have to poop.
Matteo tries to help me sit down. I let him know that I want to do it on my own. This is a chance for me to use my leg muscles and do a squat or several if I can manage it. I need to see what my body can do. I beg for it not to disappoint me.
“Do you think we can brush my teeth while I’m here? My breath smells like it could kill flowers.”
Matteo laughs. It’s a real belly laugh that I’ve never really heard from him. His others have all been sarcastic or an attempt to belittle me. “There’s nothing on you that could kill anything. You’re perfect just the way you are.”
Either this man is completely full of crap, which wouldn’t surprise me, or he’s really fallen head over heels in love with me. “You’re very kind, but I’m sure the sugar bugs are having a field day trying to make cavities in my mouth. I’ve always had really good oral hygiene and I’d like to try and keep that up if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Certainly.” Matteo moves over to the sink and prepares my toothbrush while I finish my business. Since I’ve been fed on a more regular basis, I tend to use the restroom much more. I can’t say I’m happy about that aspect.
When I finish, Matteo walks me over to the sink where he begins the process of cleaning my mouth and teeth. I practice standing on one leg at a time.
“Would you stay still? I don’t want to hurt you.”
All the movement from my stand in place exercises is making it hard not to jam the brush into my gums. “It just feels so good to move around. I’m sorry.”
Matteo continues plugging away at cleaning my teeth. It’s almost as if he’s a dentist; he’s been in there so long. When Matteo finishes, he washes my face with a washcloth, and I feel like a whole new woman. I have renewed energy and a growing sense of happiness that my day has started off so well.
“How about you walk back and forth the length of the room a few times to stretch your legs out a little more.”
I stare at Matteo, unable to fathom what I’m hearing. He’s actually allowing me to stay out of bed a while longer. This time, I do jump up and down and I lean in and kiss him on the cheek. Instead of walking, I do lunges back and forth across the room until my legs begin to shake and I just can’t do another one. I’ve always had great legs and I’m not ready to give up my greatest asset.
“What would you like for breakfast?” he asks while assisting me back into bed and tying the restraints.
“You’re asking my opinion?” I’m shocked. He’s never once asked me what I wanted to eat. He just serves me whatever he wants.
“Yes. I think you deserve a special treat. You’ve been very well behaved as of late.” He smiles down at me and if I’m not mistaken, there might even be a twinkle in his eye.
“Anything?”
He laughs. “Yes, anything.”
“I’d kill for eggs benedict with some spinach and avocado on top. Oh, and I’d love some greasy hash browns with lots of salt.” My mouth is already salivating at the thought of it. I know I should probably ask for something healthy, but after not being able to have what you want to eat, I decided to be gluttonous and go the entire nine yards.
One of his eyebrows shoots up. “Are you sure?”
My stomach is growling, and now I’m getting anxious. He better get a move on or I think my stomach may eat itself. “Yeah, why do you ask?”
“I’m just a little surprised. I wouldn’t have pegged you as someone who eats greasy hash browns.”
“Bring it on. And bring a side order of bacon if you can.” Now, I’m just being a pig.
“What the lady wants, the lady gets.” Matteo walks out the door and closes it behind him.
He didn’t turn on the television before he left, so I’m alone and forced to focus on things going on in my head. I think about the food for a little too long before I figure if I keep it up, I’ll drive myself insane. Instead, I decide to focus on keeping myself strong. I don’t have a lot of movement with the restraints, but I have enough to where I’m able to do some crunches. I probably do a couple hundred before my stomach muscles begin to cramp up and scream obscenities at me.
Next I decide to do a modified pull up with the ropes. It’s not much, but my arms and chest muscles contract enough to make me feel like it’s working just a little bit. By the time Matteo comes back with my food, I think I’ve had a pretty good workout despite my circumstances, which has only served to increase my appetite more if that’s even possible.
Matteo puts the tray of food down on the table. I look over and see that he has everything I’ve ordered. In addition, there’s a second plate which I presume is for him. He unties both my hands, puts the tray over my lap, and then goes to the other side of the bed with his own plate. We are sitting there in bed eating like a normal couple. It seems a little weird at first, but then it is comfortable. We engage in mindless chitchat before I decide to push my limits.
“Tell me about your son. I didn’t know you had one.” I know I probably shouldn’t ask, but I’ve gotten everything I wanted today up until this point, why not try to find out more about this deranged killer turned into nice guy?
Matteo chews his food for what seems like an eternity. Just when I think he’s not going to answer the question, he speaks up. “It’s a long story, and I’m not sure how to explain it.”
He sounds sad, but I decide to press it anyway. “I have all the time in the world.” I motion to the restraints around my ankles and laugh. Who would’ve thought I’d ever make a joke about being held captive? “How about you start the story from the beginning?”
Matteo swallows before speaking. “I was about sixteen years old when I met this girl. She was the most beautiful person I’d ever met. Her long black hair was perfectly straight, and she had the most amazing piercing grey eyes I’d ever seen. She was a couple of years older and more experienced than me. One night, she met me out in the fields behind my house after everyone went to bed. We laid there for several hours talking about things, when finally, one thing led to another and we made love under the stars. At the time, I thought it was the best day of my life. My first time was perfect or so I thought.
We continued to see each other for a while after that, then we found out she was pregnant. I was ready to marry her and start a family. She was the love of my life. When my father found out about it, he refused to allow me to see her anymore. She was from a very poor family, and he felt she was trying to trap me so she could gain better status and access to our money. At least that’s what he told me. Long story short, I found out that she’d been sleeping with a bunch of other guys, and we weren’t sure if the baby was really mine. My father paid her to get out of my life. I never heard from her again until about the time you entered my world the first time. She provided a paternity test and threatened to let the authorities know where I was if I didn’t pay her twenty million euros for all the struggles she’s had to endure because of my father and having to raise a bastard child.
“Anyway, I tried to talk with her and find out more about my son, but she refused to ever let me see him. It’s fair to say she became a pain in my ass and wanted me to support some drug and gambling habit she’d acquired. Next thing I know she turns up dead, and Demetrio finds me at your old apartment. I’m not sure how he tracked me down, but I’m glad he did. Now, I’m just trying to make sure I can trust him. It’s not just anyone who can be in the line of work I’m in, but I think he’ll turn out fine.”
I finished my entire plate of food while he was talking. Matteo’s barely touched his and continues to push it around with his fork. “Who killed her?”
Matteo looks down at his plate. “I don’t know.”
I reach out and caress his cheek. I know him well enough now to know he’s lying. Before, I would’ve gotten chills, but I think I knew the answer before I even asked it. “You can tell me the truth; it won’t scare me.”
Matteo looks at me. There’s fear in his eyes. He looks like a wild animal running from a predator. “Do you think I did it?”
I have to make sure I angle this the right way or it could upset him. I plant a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Yes, I do.”
“But you don’t seem upset about it.” His fear turns to surprise.
“I know what you do. I know what your work consists of. No, it doesn’t surprise me, and you wouldn’t look at me when you answered. You always make eye contact when you’re talking about something serious.”
“You don’t hate me?” Concern consumes his face. It’s almost as if he needs my approval.
“Not for that. Maybe for taking me away from my life and then allowing me to be raped, but even that isn’t as big of a deal as when I first got here,” I lie. It’s just easier this way. He likes the attention, and he’s no longer assaulting me. I don’t have any other options other than remaining complacent until some alternative comes along.
Matteo tips my chin up and kisses my nose. “You’re an amazing woman. More so than I ever gave you credit for. I don’t know how I didn’t see this before. I’m sorry for everything that you went through so that we could get to this point. Unfortunately, it was a necessary evil.”
I’m not sure what he’s talking about, but all of the sudden, I have an overwhelming urge to vomit. My face is flushed and getting clammy. My mouth begins to salivate uncontrollably. “I’ve got to throw up. Get me to the bathroom!” In my frantic attempt to get to the bathroom before I hurl my breakfast everywhere, I begin to wonder if he poisoned me. Maybe he’s trying to kill me. Although, if he was going to, wouldn’t he have already done it? Why use poison? I don’t know, but it seems funny how he barely ate and now I’m as sick as a dog.
He gets me to the bathroom just in time. I purge the contents of my stomach and lay my head on the cool seat all the while, Matteo rubs my back in an attempt to soothe me. When I’m sure nothing else is going to come up, I lift my head. Matteo attempts to carry me back to bed, but I insist on walking. It’s not very often that I get the opportunity and I sure as hell am not going to give it up just because of a little vomiting.
Matteo helps me into the bed and places a cool washcloth over my forehead. I close my eyes and take deep breaths to settle my body down.
“Any better?” His voice is punctuated with concern.
I nod. I’d rather not speak right now. Keeping my mouth shut seems to help with the nausea.
“I’ll be right back.” The footsteps leaving the room are fast paced. He’s in a hurry to get something. When he returns, he’s holding a glass of water.
I’m not sure if I’m ready to take the liquid, but try it anyway to at least get rid of the taste in my mouth. The water is refreshing, but burns my throat as it goes down. I have to force the first sip, but after that they get easier. I hand the glass back to him and close my eyes. Suddenly I’m very tired and I find it hard to keep my eyes open. Maybe he slipped me something. Hopefully I was able to get enough of it out of my system before it could do any serious damage. I allow the sandman to take control and quietly drift off into a deep slumber.