Kate
I wake up to Matteo gently shaking me. I pull my tear-stained crusty face from the pillow and slowly sit up. My limbs are free and I’m able to move everything at will. I bring my hands to my face and rub the puffy clouds of skin surrounding my eyes. I can only imagine what a hot mess I must look like.
“I brought you some food. How about you stand up. You can sit at the table and eat.”
For the first time since I’ve been here, I don’t want to get out of bed. I shake my head and lay back down. I try to place a pillow over my head, but he won’t let me.
“Katherine, you’ve got to maintain your strength to ensure this baby is healthy and thriving. I can’t let you intentionally harm yourself. Now, I demand that you sit up and come eat. I’ll expect you to get out of bed several times a day and perform some easy exercise.” He takes an arm and lifts me up to the side of the bed.
I don’t know what he’s been reading or who he’s talked to, but he’s taking this pregnancy thing seriously. I guess I should be happy for that. At least I can be assured he’s not going to do anything to force me to lose this child. I slowly come to my feet and like all the other times, I’m a little light-headed. I hold on to the table until the darkness and flashes of light dancing around behind my eyes decide to take their party elsewhere.
I take the few steps over to the old ragged chair covered with a quilted blanket and settle in. I study the contents of the tray. Matteo has covered all the major food groups. There’s a bowl of assorted berries, a turkey sandwich on whole wheat, a glass of milk, and some celery sticks with peanut butter.
I have no appetite, so I pick at the berries knowing full well if I don’t eat something, Matteo’s going to give me a hard time. Surprisingly, they’re like heaven in my mouth. The fruit is sweet and has enough juiciness, it’s like I’m drinking a beverage. Before I know it, I’ve devoured the entire bowl.
I pick up the glass of milk even though I can’t stand the taste. I force myself to take a few sips for the baby’s sake. I almost regurgitate with the last swallow, so I put it down and eat some celery. Matteo studies me the entire time without saying a word. The silence is uncomfortable.
“So, you think it’s going to be a boy?” I rub my belly as though there’s a bump or a change in it. To me, it still feels the same.
“Absolutely. I’m going to teach him everything I know. He’s going to be a shrewd businessman who is communication savvy. He’ll want for nothing.” The smile that spreads across his face is a combination of proud daddy and shit-eating. Part of me is warmed by his affection for this life growing inside and the other part of me wants to vomit at the thought of Matteo being the father of this child and having it grow up in his world. I don’t know if I can think of anything worse.
“What if it’s a girl?”
His eyes sparkle and a tenderness washes over him. “She’s going to be just like her mamma. I’ll love and protect her. I don’t think she’ll ever be allowed off the island. There’s no way I’m going to let anything happen to her.”
“You mean like what you’ve done to me?” The words pop out. I didn’t even think about them. I let my guard down, and now I’m going to pay for it.
Matteo’s eyes turn into slits. The brilliant green has turned dark and an evil snake has taken ownership of his eyes. “I wish you would not think of our relationship in that way. We’ve built something here. I love you and plan on taking excellent care of you and this baby. However, I won’t tolerate you speaking to me that way. I’ve been patient with you, but no more. You’re responsible for maintaining your health. That means you need to take better care of yourself and your mouth.”
I nod, knowing exactly what he means. Keep my mouth shut, or I will get the crap beaten out of me. He may ‘love’ me, but he’s also going to control every aspect of my life until the day I die. Can I live like that? Can I bring a child into this world under these circumstances? What choice do I have?
“You need to eat your sandwich.” Matteo didn’t make it a request; it was more of a demand.
Without further ado, I pick up the piece of food that does nothing to stimulate my appetite, and I take a bite. I chew it up and choke down the cardboard that lines my mouth. I put the sandwich down. “I’m full.” I take the napkin to wipe my mouth.
“You really should eat more.” His voice is a combination of concern and demand.
I know just what to say to get him off my back. “I’m afraid if I try to force myself to eat more, I might throw up and that would be worse. How about we just work on small meals, but more frequently?”
The wheels crank in his head. “I suppose that’s not a bad idea.” He stands to pick up the tray. “Is there anything you want now?”
I think for a moment and what I wouldn’t give for some Starbucks. “I’d really like a green iced tea from Starbucks.” I know it’s a long shot, but if I can work this pregnancy thing, it’ll be so worth it.
“You shouldn’t have caffeine.” His voice is stern and has left me scrambling. Fortunately, my wits and determination are strong right now.
“It’s actually very low in caffeine, and very high in anti-oxidants. I don’t think it would hurt anything,” I lie. I don’t know what the actual caffeine amount is, but I do know it’s lower than some of the others out there.
“I’ll see what I can do.” Matteo closes the door behind him as he leaves the room.
I look over at the bed I’ve been laying on for over a month. It’s calling me to get back in and close my eyes to make all my problems melt away. I resist the temptation and decide to do some exercises like Matteo suggested. He’s right. I need to be strong, and I’ve lost a lot of strength since I’ve been here. The training and endurance I worked on for so long have gone to the wayside every minute I’ve spent lying down and being tied up.
I start with the exercise I hate the most. Pushups. They’re horrible, but they work out so many parts of my arms and chest. Before I was pulled into this dump, I was doing a hundred a day. I’m afraid of what my count will be now. I get down on my hands and knees and struggle through the first ten. I don’t give up. Instead, I grab the remote, find a music channel, and do a few more sets until I get to fifty. It’s not where I was, but I’ll take it.
I proceed to work on some squats, lunges, and crunches. By the time I get to the end of my workout, I’ve become energized with the endorphins rushing through my system. I almost feel whole again—like I can conquer the world. Some of my self-confidence has returned.
A door slams in the other room. I can only assume that someone has come in. I turn down the volume on the television to try and hear if there are any voices outside of my room. At first, there’s whispering and I can’t make out what they’re saying. Then Matteo’s voice gets louder.
“What the fuck was he doing down there?”
“I don’t know, I was in the Starbucks just as you asked, and he came in and ordered some espresso.” This other man, I don’t recognize. Not that I was really paying attention. The moment he said espresso, my thoughts went to Tony. He was there when this man was purchasing my drink. Tony is close. My heart starts beating a million miles a minute. I pace the room and for the first time in days, I have a genuine smile on my face. I’m hopeful. He’s going to come find and rescue me.
I stop mid-step. What then? What happens when my knight in shining armor pulls out his sword to rescue the damsel in distress only to find out she’s pregnant with his cousin’s child? How on Earth will he ever be able to look at me the same way? The cloud of hope I was floating away on only seconds before has now been shot down by tiny arrows penetrating the bubbly high I was on.
“I’m tired of that asshole butting into my life. I want him dead. Go out there, find his fucking ass, and take him out,” Matteo shouts so loud it virtually shakes the walls.
“Yes, sir.” The door shuts a moment later.
I run over to the chair and sit waiting submissively for the monster that will be showing his fangs through the door any second. As he enters my room, I’m surprised by the genuine smile plastered to the face of the monster who wants to kill the man I love with all my heart.
“I got your tea for you.”
I smile compliantly and reach for it.
Matteo pulls back. “I want you to suck my cock first.”
My eyes widen. That was really the last thing that I expected him to say or do. I don’t know why. It’s just he’s been so gentle and always trying to please me. He’s never asked for anything in return until now. “No.” I can’t believe that word just jumped out of my mouth. Before I can react, his hand crashes down on the side of my face. My cheek is a hot blaze of fire. I’m sure there’s a mark.
“You don’t get to tell me no. I thought we’ve been over this!” His teeth are showing. I swear there’s saliva dripping from his fangs. The green-eyed monster has returned, and Matteo is long gone.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and mentally prepare myself for the battle that lies ahead. I open my eyes and square my shoulders and I’m armed for war. “I’ll only do it if you promise not to hurt Tony.”
The sinister grin forms at the corner of his mouth. “Now why would you think I give a shit about him? He’s not worth my time.”
He’s a liar. For a brief while, I began to trust the snake in the grass. Now, his true colors are shining through once again. “I heard you in the other room. I know you put a hit out on him. You can’t do it. I’ll do anything you want; I’ll go willingly to that island of yours. I’ll even marry you and be the dutiful wife you want. Just don’t hurt him. Let him go. He’s in my past, and he should be in yours.” I bite my tongue, waiting for the answer I can only hope I will get.
“You’ll do anything?” The corner of his mouth curves up into a sneer I’ve never seen before.
“Fine, bend over.” Matteo puts down the tea on the table.
I cautiously stand up and bend over the chair I was just sitting in. My bottom is exposed but the rest of my torso is covered with the negligée Matteo gifted to me only days ago. Without so much a warning I feel the pressure from his cock knocking on my back door. Once again, he’s surprised me. I didn’t see this coming.
The green-eyed monster forces in me without so much as any lube as I scream while my insides are being ripped and shredded. I can’t stop the yelling out in pain any more than I can stop the tears from falling down my face. This is pure torture, but I know what he’s doing. The green-eyed monster is claiming the only part of my body he hasn’t ravaged. He’s marking his territory. I’ll be forever tattooed and scarred by this man.
The green-eyed monster spanks my bottom as he pushes in and out. “Tell me who owns you!” he screams out.
My voice cracks as I try to hold back the sobbing long enough to get the words out. “Y—you do.” I may tell him what he wants to hear, he may be claiming my body as his, but Tony is the only man who owns my heart, soul, and mind. Nothing this evil bastard can do will ever take that away.
“Say my name and tell me again!” His shouts are deafening, and do nothing to stifle the fear and pain coursing through my body.
“Matteo, you own me now and forever.” The words are foreign and I swear someone else said them. There is no way that well-rehearsed sentence just came from my lips.
“That’s right, baby. Don’t. You. Ever. Forget. It.” His words are slow and deliberate as he makes the final pumps to spill his load into one of the most sacred parts of my body. He smacks my ass one more time and pulls out, puts his pants back on, and exits the room leaving me falling to the floor in a big heaping mess of grief, sadness, and defeat. I’ve never felt so violated in my entire life. This is what I have to look forward to. This is the first day of the rest of my tortured life.