Chapter Ten

Kate

"I'm so happy you're here," I say to my mom as I hug for like the millionth time. She arrived last night. Gavin and I took her to dinner, then to her apartment, which is literally three miles from my dad's place. I didn't tell her that. She knows he lives in New Haven but she doesn't know where and she hasn't asked.

This morning we're going to breakfast. I'll be late getting to the restaurant but Henry is taking my place supervising the crew. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's been a huge help and offered to stay longer than just this week to help out. He even said he'd stay until we opened but I hate to make him do that. He insists he doesn't mind, saying he'd rather be here than listen to his noisy neighbor all day, so as of now he's staying. I'm sure Celeste won't like it but so far, she hasn't complained about him staying with her. Maybe she secretly likes having him there so she's not alone in that big house.

My mom keeps me in the hug. "I'm happy too, honey. I've missed you so much. I should've been coming to see you instead of spending all my time with Allen. I thought he and I had something good going, but I guess it was all an illusion."

I pull back and see her teary eyes. "I know it's hard but I think it's best if you don't focus too much on the past. Believe me, I've spent weeks, even months, trying to analyze what went wrong in my own relationships and I've found it's a waste of time. You'll never really know what the reason is so why dwell on it?"

"I just keep thinking if I'd only been home more or paid more attention to him. I thought I did, but maybe it wasn't enough."

"Mom, stop blaming yourself. This had nothing to do with you. Allen just wasn't a good guy. And he's an idiot. He has to be if he let you go. You were way too good for him."

She smiles and smooths my hair like she did when I was little. "You're such a sweet girl. Gavin is lucky to have you."

"And I'm lucky to have him. He's a great guy."

"So things are going well between you two?"

"Couldn't be better. I was worried about moving in with him but it's only made our relationship stronger."

"Do you think he'll propose soon?"

"I told him I'm not ready. Honestly, I'm not really sure I want to get married."

Her brows draw together in concern. "To Gavin? Or anyone?"

"If I get married someday it would be to Gavin. I love him more than anything. I just don't know if I want to get married. Living together is going so well that why ruin it by getting married?"

"Why would that ruin it?"

"Marriage changes things." I go over and sit on the couch.

"It doesn't have to." She sits beside me. "It depends on the couple." 

"You and Dad broke up and you told me everyone said you were the perfect couple."

"On the outside, yes. But people didn't know what our marriage was like. They didn't see your father passed out drunk almost every night. They didn't see how he stopped talking to me and stopped being a dad to you and put all his focus on work. We needed him and he wasn't there for us. And then he left. I had no choice but to divorce him."

I wish I could tell her the real reason my dad left. Why he started drinking. Why he got fired. All she knows are the lies she was told. Lies meant to protect her, and me. If she knew the real story, I wonder how she'd feel about my dad. I wonder if it would've kept them from divorcing all those years ago. I know a small part of her still cares about my dad and I know he still cares about her.

Maybe they'd still be together if it weren't for a group of rich, selfish assholes who used their money and power to do whatever they wanted without any consequences. If only my dad had worked somewhere else. If only he'd never seen things he shouldn't have seen. He never would've started drinking. He never would've left us. His life would've been totally different and so would my mom's and mine.

That's why I'm so adamant about keeping Gavin away from politicians and the rich powerful men who pay to get them elected and keep them in office. I don't want Gavin anywhere near those people, which is why I can't back down if he decides to consider a career in politics. I can deal with him working a few hours a week for Senator Falkin if Gavin really believes it will connect him with people who will help him get a better job someday. But if he decides to make working on campaigns his career then I don't know if we could have a future together.

"Kate." I feel my mom's hand on mine. "Don't let what happened to your father and me affect your future with Gavin. He's never going to leave you. He loves you and is committed to you and wouldn't even consider walking out on you or doing anything to hurt you."

"Dad loved you." I look at her. "Even after he left, he still loved you."

"He didn't love me, honey." She frowns. "I'm sure that's what you wanted to believe back then but you were only a child. You wanted your parents back together."

"It's not about that. It's the truth. Dad loved you. He didn't want to leave. He just—" I stop before I say too much. I know I can't tell her the truth, but I wish I could. She's hurting right now because Allen left her. And Dad left her too. So in her mind she thinks she's the common denominator. That it's her fault they left. That she did something wrong. But Dad didn't want to leave her. He was forced to. If only I could tell her that.

"Men who are in love don't leave," she says, rubbing my hand. "Your father loved his job and his vodka, but not me." She smiles softly. "But Gavin's not your father so don't try to compare them. I think Gavin would make a wonderful husband, and a wonderful father someday."

I nod. "I know he would."

"I'm not saying you need to marry him next week or even next year. I'm just saying to keep an open mind. Don't rule out marriage just because you think it'll turn out like your dad and me."

There's a knock on the door.

"Are you expecting someone?" I ask.

"Not that I know of." She gets up. "Hardly anyone knows I'm here." She walks to the door and opens it. "Carol!" I hear her squeal.

"Angie!" Carol uses a high-pitched tone I've never heard her use before. When I worked for her, she was all business. Always serious. She never acted excited or even happy. It made me wonder why my mom was friends with her. My mom's always smiling and laughing and doesn't stress out about stuff the way Carol does.

"Why didn't you tell me you were stopping by?" my mom asks.

"I didn't know I'd be in town. But one of my clients wanted to meet this morning about a cocktail party and after we were done, I thought I'd stop over and surprise you."

"I'm so glad you did." My mom opens the door more. "Come inside. Kate's here. We're going to breakfast soon."

"Kate." Carol smiles at me as I stand up from the couch. "How have you been?"

"Good. Busy but good."

"How's the restaurant coming along?"

"It's still on schedule to open in a few weeks."

"That's great! Did you take your mom there yet?"

"No, it was too late when she got here."

"But I'll be stopping by there later today," my mom says. "I want to get settled first. Get some groceries. Check out the town."

"Remember when I drove all the way to New Haven for that blind date years ago?" Carol giggles, like actually giggles. It's so unlike her I just stare at her, trying to figure out how she can be so different at work. This Carol is a lot more fun than Carol, the boss.

"Oh my God, yes." My mom laughs. "He brought you to a cemetery. Worst date ever."

"Why did he bring you to a cemetery?" I ask.

"To have dinner," Carols says, her shoulders shaking as she laughs. "He brought a bucket of chicken."

"I still don't get it. Why a cemetery?"

My mom answers. "He wanted her to meet his mother."

So his mother was buried there? Weird. That's definitely a bad blind date.

"He talked to her all through dinner," Carol says, "while I looked for an escape route. The cemetery had this iron gate all around it and I couldn't remember how to get out. For a while, I was completely panicked, thinking maybe he'd killed his mom and I was next. The guy was nuts."

"So what did you do?"

"I played along. Pretended to talk to his mom. I told him his mom said I should go home so she could have time alone with her son. He believed me so I got up and got the hell out of there."

"Did you ever hear from him again?"

"No, thank God. It took me years before I'd even come back to New Haven. I was worried I'd run into him."

"What do you think happened to him?" my mom asks.

"I don't know but he belongs in a mental institution." She sighs. "I have the worst luck with men."

"It's not like you chose him," I say. "It was a blind date. Who set you up with that guy? I hope it wasn't a friend, because if so, she's not a very good friend."

"It was a vendor," she says. "The bread supply guy. The man I had the date with was one of his customers. His name was Lou. He owned a hot dog stand. It was actually his mother's business but he inherited it when she passed away," she pauses, "or was murdered."

My mom giggles. "Carol, you're so bad."

"What? It's entirely possible. If you'd met this guy, you'd agree he was capable of murder."

"Anyone is, really," I say.

Carol and my mom look at me, confusion on their faces. I'm usually not so morbid.

"What I mean is that if pushed to a certain point, or given certain circumstances, anyone could be a murderer."

My mom smiles at Carol. "I think she's been hanging around her father too much. That sounds like something Craig would say."

"Actually, I think he did tell me that," I say, trying to make a joke of it.

But I wasn't joking, and I'm not really sure why I said it. Was it because Carol is here? I keep thinking she knows more than she's letting on. There's no way she can work for rich, powerful people every day and not see or hear anything suspicious. During that party last year, all I did was go outside to get ice and accidentally saw Niles kill a man. It may have been a fluke but I don't think it was. I think stuff like that happens all the time in that high-society world. That's why my dad couldn't be a cop. He saw things he shouldn't have. He still won't tell me what those things are, but I'm pretty sure murder is one of them. 

"I should get going." I go to the kitchen to get my purse.

"What about breakfast?" my mom asks.

"It's getting late. I need to get to work." I walk to the door. "You guys have fun catching up."

"Okay. Bye, honey!"

I leave the two of them and go out to my car. Gavin calls and I answer.

"Hey. I'm just leaving my mom's place."

"How's she doing?" he asks, because last night she seemed really down. But today she seemed much better. She's always been like that. She'll be sad but then perk up later, then get sad again if something makes her think of whatever made her sad. Having me here this morning took her mind off Allen, which made her feel better, and now she has Carol there making her laugh. Carol, who used to be the most serious person I know, is making my mom laugh, and laughing along with her. That's so strange. I can't be two different people like that. I'm pretty much the same person at work and at home.

"She's doing better," I tell Gavin. "What are you up to?"

"I have a meeting in a few minutes. I just called to tell you I'll be late tonight."

"How late?"

"I don't know yet. Probably a couple hours. Don't worry about dinner. I'll just get something here."

"Why is Peter making you work late?"

"It's not him. It's—" He coughs. "Sorry. Tickle in my throat."

"It's for the campaign," I say, feeling my stomach knot.

"Yeah," he mutters.

I knew it. I knew this would happen. Gavin just started that job and already has to work late. It's bad enough he's hanging around a politician, but now the job is extending past regular hours. It's another reason why I didn't want Gavin to do this. Politicians think they own their campaign staff. They expect them to work night and day, weekends and holidays. They don't care if they have families or girlfriends waiting at home. The campaign comes first.

"Please don't be mad," he says. "I don't want to work late, but I don't have a choice."

"So is this going to be happening all the time now?"

"I hope not. I told Jett I'm not working extra hours."

"Then why are you doing it?"

"Because the website needs fixing and I'm the one who's been working on it."

"Let some IT guy fix it."

"It's not an IT fix. It's the wording I used in one of the articles I wrote. I misstated some things and I need to fix it."

"That sounds like something someone else could do. I'm sure he has a team of writers."

"Kate, I already told him I'd do it. Please don't give me a hard time about this. It's one night."

"Which becomes another night. And another after that."

"That's not going to happen." I hear someone talking in the background. "Kate, I have to go to this meeting."

"Okay. See ya later."

He doesn't say he loves me like he usually does, but instead just ends the call.

I take a deep breath and tell myself to believe Gavin when he says it'll only be tonight he'll be working late. Then I tell myself he's not like his father. He's not going to become obsessed with power and money and be lured into doing bad things in order to get ahead. He's not a murderer. He's not even capable of it. He's honest and kind and would never hurt anyone. He's not a politician and never will be.

When I get to the restaurant I instantly feel better. It's starting to actually look finished, with painted walls and shiny tile floors and light fixtures. The table and chairs arrived this morning and someone even set them up. I'm guessing it was Henry, who greets me as I come in.

"What do you think?" he asks, motioning to the tables.

"It looks awesome! Like a real restaurant!"

"Tables and chairs will do that." He smiles.

I go up and hug him. "I can't thank you enough." I step back and look at everything again. "You totally saved me. This place would never be ready on time without all your help."

"You don't have to keep thanking me, Kate. I was happy to help. And don't even think about paying me." He smiles. "Although I wouldn't turn down your biscuits and gravy as payment. And maybe an apple pie?"

"Deal. And you're getting more than that. You're getting one of every kind of pie I make. You're my official taste tester, if you're up for the job."

"I think I could handle that." He rubs his stomach. "When does it start? I'm hungry right now."

"Follow me." I walk to the kitchen. "I made this yesterday." I take a pie from the fridge. "It's like lemon meringue but with orange instead of lemon. I don't know if it'll end up on the menu but I wanted to try it."

He takes a plate from the stack. "Fill 'er up."

I serve him a piece and we sit on the stools next to the long, stainless steel prep table.

"When does the staff start?" he asks.

"Next week. They come in for training on Monday."

The staff I hired are mostly people I worked with when I did catering. They didn't last long at the job because they didn't like Carol. She was too demanding and they didn't like that she takes their phone during their shift.

"That was excellent." Henry points to his empty plate. "You should definitely have that on the menu. It could be a seasonal item, maybe just for the summer months."

"Good idea. Hey, you want to have dinner tonight? I'm testing some barbecue recipes and I could use a taster. We could eat here."

"Is Gavin coming?"

"No, he has to work late." I feel that knot in my stomach again.

"Why's he working late? Don't proposals sit on someone's desk for two years before anyone does anything with them?"

"He's not working on proposals. He's working for Senator Falkin. Didn't he tell you?"

"No." Henry's brows furrow and he leans back, folding his arms over his chest. "What happened to his other job?"

"He still has it. He's working for the senator three days a week and doing his other job the rest of the time. I'm surprised he didn't tell you."

"I'm not. Gavin knows I don't want him working in politics. It's a dirty, corrupt business and it destroyed my relationship with his father." He shakes his head. "Now the same thing's going to happen with Gavin."

"I don't think it will. Gavin isn't like his dad." I keep saying that but I'm not sure I believe it. I never knew Niles before he got into politics. Maybe he used to be a good guy.

"He could become like Niles given the right circumstances."

"Like what?"

"If they offer him whatever it is he wants. Whatever it is he thinks he needs. For Niles that was money. Power. Being a senator."

"But Gavin doesn't want those things. He doesn't want to run for office or live in a mansion. We live in a tiny apartment in an old building. And he's dating me, not someone like Celeste."

"Niles wasn't always like that. He didn't used to be obsessed with money and power. As I've told you before, it wasn't until he went to college that he started wanting what others had. What his rich friends had. Suddenly his life wasn't good enough and he wanted more. I know it's not the same with Gavin. He doesn't seek to live the lifestyle he grew up in and I think that's because of his grandmother and me. He saw we were happy without money and fancy cars. But still, Gavin does have his father's ambition. His father's drive to succeed. And he's very competitive. He pushes himself. He wants to do better than anyone else. And it's those traits that could get him in trouble."

"In trouble, how?"

"People like Falkin use those traits to lure people like Gavin into doing whatever it is they want them to do. I don't know enough about Falkin to know what that is, but I do know I don't want my grandson involved with him, or any other politician."

"I don't either but I can't talk him out of it. I've tried and we just ended up arguing."

"Let me try. I can't promise you he'll change his mind but I'll see what I can do."

"That'd be great. I really don't want Gavin getting involved in a campaign again."

I'd like to tell Henry why, but I can't. He doesn't know what Niles did and never will. It's a secret I can't tell.

I don't like knowing this secret, or any of the other secrets I know, such as the fact that Niles was connected to a group of powerful men who would do anything possible to make sure Niles was elected Senator, even covering up a murder. That's a secret I haven't even told Gavin.

Gavin and I said we'd never keep secrets from each other and yet I'm keeping this one from him. So is he keeping secrets from me? I can't imagine him doing that. He's always been so open and honest, telling me everything.

But what if he was keeping secrets? What would they be?