Chapter Four

Gavin

"Jett, this is Gavin Bishop," Peter says as I walk into his office. He's standing next to Jett, who I've only met once, at a benefit I went to with my parents years ago for one of the New York hospitals.

"Mr. Falkin," I say, stepping up to shake his hand. "It's great to meet you."

Jett looks very senator-like, with his navy suit, white shirt, and red tie, showing off a big, camera-friendly smile. He's over six feet tall and has broad shoulders and a wide chest. His dark hair is starting to show a few flecks of gray and he has just enough wrinkles around his eyes to make the public believe he's old enough and wise enough to represent them in Washington.

From the research Peter gave me to look over, opinion polls show people think Jett's trustworthy, probably because he has that clean-cut, all-American boy look along with a wholesome image, not yet tarnished by any scandals.

That's another reason I'd like to work for him. I think he's actually one of the good guys trying to make a difference. I've read some of his proposals and have been impressed with his ideas and the way he wants to execute them, using the most cost-effective measures that will get the best results.

"I believe we've met before," he says. "Perhaps at your parents' house?"

"I'm not sure, but I know we've talked at some charity events." I can only remember the one, but it's possible I've seen him at other events.

He nods. "I was at your parents' house last year for a fundraising dinner for Niles." He frowns. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up. Please forgive me."

"It's fine. You can talk about him."

"How are you and your mother doing?"

"Good. It's definitely been an adjustment for my mom not having him around but she's handling it. We both are."

Peter comes over and stands next to me. He pats my shoulder. "Gavin is the hardest worker I know. His father would be very proud."

"The last time I saw your father," Jett says, "he told me all the great things you'd done for his campaign. Some of your online initiatives. Your efforts to get younger people to vote. He couldn't say enough good things about you."

I just nod. I don't want to talk about my dad. I still struggle with the fact that he killed someone and tried to kill Kate's father. I loved my dad and idolized him for most of my life but now I'm not sure how I feel about him. I'm not really sure I knew him.

My grandpa used to say that my dad changed when he met my mom, but I think he really changed when he ran for the Senate. He became obsessed with winning the election, and looking back now, I can see that he would've done most anything to win, even kill someone, although I don't know for sure if that's why he did it. I may never know why he killed that man.

"I'm excited to have you on my team," Jett says, flashing his ultra-white teeth at me. "Peter said I could have you for ten hours a week to start. How does that sound?"

He's acting like I've already committed to this. Today was just supposed to be a meeting for me to get to know the guy and learn more about his campaign. I wanted to think about it before giving him an answer and yet it seems that Peter already told Jett I'll be working for him.

I might as well just agree to it. It's only ten hours a week. That's not much. I know Kate won't be happy about it but I already told her I'd probably do it so this won't come as a surprise.

"Ten hours a week is fine," I say.

"Great! I look forward to seeing what you can do."

"Let's have a seat and discuss it in more detail," Peter says.

We sit down and Jett goes over the plans for his campaign and what I'll be doing. He says he wants to give me more responsibility than the other people my age since I have so much experience. I'm not sure I want that but I don't think he's giving me a choice.

"How does that sound?" he asks after he's finished going through everything. He's going to have me work on the website, which I figured is what he'd do. The younger people always get assigned to the online stuff.

"Works for me," I say.

"Good." He stands up. "I have to get going. I have a meeting to get to across town."

Peter and I stand up as well.

"We'll talk tomorrow about the travel plans," Peter says.

"Sounds good. I'll see you both later." He gets his phone out and makes a call as he walks out of the room.

"What travel plans?" I ask Peter.

"Jett and I are going to scout locations for rallies. He wants to try some new venues. Places that will make people excited to show up. If you have any ideas for locations, let him know. Jett would be pleased you showed the initiative."

"Mr. Farrell, I don't mean to be unappreciative but I thought today was going to be an interview. I wasn't quite ready to accept the job."

"Why wouldn't you want it?" He goes around his desk and taps on his keyboard to wake up his computer. "Jett's a rising star. Youngest member of the Senate. Could even be president someday. He's the type of person you need to surround yourself with. If you're with someone who's on his way to the top, chances are he'll take you along for the ride."

"I'm not sure that's what I want."

He chuckles as he types something on the keyboard. "You don't want success?"

"I do, but success can be defined different ways."

He stops typing, his eyes on mine. "Success is power. Influence. Knowing the right people. You can have all the money in the world but if you don't have power and influence, you'll go nowhere. Think about what we're doing here in this office. If I didn't have the right connections, know the right people, do you think any of these housing proposals would be approved?"

He's right, but I wish it didn't have to be that way. I wish the proposal could speak for itself. I wish people would do the right thing without having it be conditional on something. But the truth is, it's all who you know and what they can do for you. That's the world I grew up in so I've seen it firsthand. I'd like to think the rest of the world isn't like that, but unfortunately, that's the way it is. So if I want to be doing this for a living, I have to accept that and play the game.

"I understand how it works," I say, "I'm just not sure working for Jett will help me in what I want to do. I'm not looking to get into politics. I want to spend my life helping people. Making a difference. Making change happen."

"Gavin, I know you're not that naive. Getting the right leaders elected is how change happens. In your current position, you can only help a few people at best, but get someone like Jett re-elected and you can make real change happen, not just for a small borough in New York, but potentially the entire country."

I nod because it's no use arguing with him. Plus, he's my boss so I really shouldn't be challenging him.

"You'll start this week," he says. "Jett has a list of updates that need to be made on his website. You can work on them tomorrow."

"This will just be ten hours a week, right?"

He shrugs. "We'll see how it goes. If Jett needs you more than that, I'm flexible."

"I'd prefer to keep it at ten hours or less. Otherwise I won't be able to get my other work done."

"If that's the case, I'll find someone else to help out. I really want you on Jett's team. When your father suggested you for this opportunity, I told him I'd challenge you if you got the job. That I'd help put you on the path to success. Just because your father is gone doesn't mean I won't keep my word. I'm putting you on that path, Gavin. It may not be what you want at the moment, but I promise you, you'll thank me someday." He sits down and checks his computer screen. "Shit, I forgot about this. Gavin, I need to get to a meeting."

"Yeah. Okay. See you later."

So I guess I'm working for Senator Falkin whether I want to or not, and it sounds like it'll be more than ten hours a week. I need to tell Kate.

When I get home I find her making dinner, which she hasn't done for weeks. She's been too tired from work and I'm a horrible cook so we either order take-out or go out.

"What's going on?" I ask, giving her a kiss.

"I'm making dinner." She smiles. "It's been forever since we had a homemade meal." She puts her hands on my ribcage. "Look at this. You're skin and bones because I haven't been feeding you."

I laugh and back her up to the counter. "I'm not skin and bones and you don't have to feed me. I don't expect you to make me dinner." I lean down and lower my mouth to hers. "But I do expect a kiss." I kiss her. "And if you're interested in doing more than that, we could put dinner off until later."

"We can't." She sneaks around me to the stove. "I've been working on this for an hour and I want you to taste it."

"Is this for the restaurant?" I go over to the stove where she's stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce.

"Yeah. It's my mom's recipe but I changed it a little to make it mine." She dips a spoon in the sauce and gives it to me. "Be careful, it's hot."

I take a taste. "Kate, that's incredible. People are going to show up just for this sauce."

She smiles. "You really think so?"

"Definitely. It's going to be a huge hit." I set the spoon down. "Can I do anything?"

"Set the table?"

"I can do that." I go to get the placements. "Should I open some wine?"

"Yeah, that'd be great."

I wonder if I should wait to tell her the news. I don't want to ruin the nice dinner she made.

Once the food is plated and we're seated at the table she says, "I'm so happy right now."

"Because of the restaurant?"

"That, and also living here with you." She twirls the spaghetti around her fork. "I always worried that living together would hurt our relationship, but instead, I think it's made it stronger and even better than before."

"I think so too." I should tell her the news. I can't keep this from her. We just agreed we have a great relationship, and people in great relationships don't hide things from each other.

I set my fork down. "I met with Jett today. Senator Falkin."

"I was just going to ask you about that. So how'd it go?"

"Good. He seems nice. Has a lot of energy. Seems like someone who gets things done."

"Did he go over his position on the issues?"

"No, but I didn't need him to. Before the meeting, Peter gave me some of Jett's position papers and proposals and had me watch some of his speeches so I already knew his stance on things."

"Then what was the meeting for? For him to interview you?"

"Not exactly. It was more of an introduction meeting." I pause. "And a welcome to the team meeting."

"Oh." I hear the disappointment in her voice and feel it across the table. "So you took the job."

"I didn't have a choice. Peter told Jett I'd be working for him before we'd even met. He really wants me to do this."

"Why? He keeps praising your work on the proposals so why does he want you to go work for someone else?"

"Because he thinks it's a good opportunity for me. I'll meet a lot of people. Important people. Influential people. People who could help me make even more of a difference."

"Gavin, you're worrying me. You're starting to sound like a politician."

"I'm not a politician, and I don't aspire to be one. But what Peter said is true. If I really want to help people, I have to make connections with people who have the power to make things happen. I can't just sit behind a desk writing proposals."

"Now you sound even more like a politician. Power? Connections? Sound familiar?" She picks up her wine glass and takes a big gulp instead of a sip, something she only does when she's angry.

"Kate, I know you're mad about this but it's not that big a deal. It's only ten hours a week and I'll be working on the website. I won't be going to rallies or fundraisers or any of that stuff."

"You say that now but once you start, they'll get you more and more involved. You'll be going to parties and be surrounded by those people. The same people your dad was surrounded by."

"I'm not going to become him," I say, getting angry. "If that's what you're worried about, then stop, because it's not going to happen. I'd never kill someone. I'd never even consider it."

"You think your dad did?" She shoves her chair back and folds her arms over her chest. "You think when your dad was your age, he ever considered killing someone?"

"No, but he did have different goals than me. He wanted power. Money. Status. He was obsessed with what others thought of him. That's not me and you know that, Kate."

"I know you don't want those things, but you do love the thrill of politics and the whole election process. I could easily see you falling back into it, getting even more involved than you were on your dad's campaign. Now you don't have school taking up your time. You can put all your time and energy on this campaign. And where does that leave us, Gavin?"

I shove away from the table and stand in front of her, pulling her up from her chair.

"Listen to me." I wrap my arms around her waist. "Nothing will ever come between us. You're my first priority. You come before work and anything else. I would never let some job or campaign hurt our relationship.  I know you don't like me doing this, Kate, but—"

"Then why are you doing it?"

"Because I wasn't given a choice. Peter basically ordered me to work for Falkin."

"He should've at least asked your opinion first."

"He did. Last week when he brought it up, he asked if I was interested and I said yes. I didn't say I'd take the job but I didn't say no either. I told him I had to think about it."

"Gavin, we talked about this. You said this isn't what you want. So does this mean you've changed your mind?"

"Honestly? I don't know. Like I told you before, the job I'm doing now isn't what I thought it'd be. I don't feel like I'm really doing anything. Like I'm making a difference. Some days, I wonder why I'm even there. And you're right. I do feel that rush of excitement when I'm working on a campaign. That doesn't mean I want to do it for a career but for right now, it might be a good option. It might end up helping me by introducing me to people who could get me a different job. One in which I really could make a difference."

She looks down at the table. "We should eat. The food's getting cold."

She's brushing me off. She doesn't want to discuss this.

"Are we okay?" I ask, knowing we're not but hoping the question will make her tell me what she's thinking.

"I just need time to accept this. After everything with your dad, I just..."

"It's not the same. I promise you, it's not. I'm not running for office. I'm just helping with a website."

She nods, but I can tell she's not convinced. She says she needs time so I'll give her time.

I kiss her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

We eat dinner, and afterward, she reviews her orders for restaurant supplies while I watch TV. I keep glancing over at her, and each time I do, I see her chewing her lip, a sign she's on edge, worried about what my involvement with Falkin will mean. But nothing I say will ease her mind. She has to see for herself that taking this job won't change anything, and I can't prove that to her until I actually start working on Jett's campaign.

But I have to admit, there's a part of me that's just as worried as Kate that doing this will change things between her and me. I told her I'd stay out of politics and now I'm back in it again. It's not like I lied to her but I didn't keep my word and that alone could hurt our relationship.

The other thing that could hurt us is something I've never told Kate, but only because I know she'd take it the wrong way. This isn't a bad thing but in her mind, it might be, because of my father. Because of his drive to succeed.

Earlier I told Kate I wasn't like him, but the truth is, I am, at least when it comes to his ambition. I crave success, not for the money or attention it brings, but simply to prove to myself that I did something well. That I achieved something. That I made something happen.

There's nothing wrong with that. Ambition is a good trait to have as long as it doesn't get out of control. And I'd never let it get to that point.