CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Lord Danderfield is here this evening and he will ask you to dance, Lilliana. Of course, you will accept.”
I would rather eat lumpy porridge, Lilly thought, looking anywhere but at her brother.
The ballroom was filled with primped and pampered guests. Most she knew by sight if not acquaintance. She had been a part of this world for so long now that the scene before her no longer roused more than a sigh from Lilly. The colors and jewels, the decorations that each hostess took months ruminating over, just so they outdid last year and anyone else hosting an event this season, no longer thrilled her.
It was amazing really, that surrounded by so many people she could feel so alone.
She had dressed in dull gray with a black lace trim, which made her appear as if she were in mourning. Bee had reluctantly put a small stuffed bird in her hair, after pulling it back severely, which by the end of the evening would give her a headache.
“He will be a suitable husband for you, Lilliana. I want to hear no more on the matter.”
Lilly reluctantly returned her eyes to her brother. He looked pale, and she realized he had lost weight. Was he sick? It would serve him right if he was. It was probably all that alcohol he consumed pickling his liver.
“I will not marry him, Nicholas, no matter what you and he say.” Lilly kept her voice low, wishing no one to overhear them. “And I will not be sacrificed because you could not manage father's money and are now in debt.”
“I am not in debt!”
“I am no fool, brother. You have never cared if I married before, or for that matter anything about me. Why now?”
He evaded her eyes.
“You look hideous tonight. How can you hold your head high? For pity’s sake, Lilliana, you have a bird in your hair!”
“It is a robin, not just a bird.”
“Why, Lilliana?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you dress like that and talk as you do when we enter a ballroom or function?”
Lilly wondered why now people were suddenly aware of the facade she had worn for so long. What had changed in her, to make them notice?
“I have dressed and talked this way for years; you were just too self-absorbed to notice. I am shallow and silly, and I like my taste in clothing. If you do not, that is your problem, Nicholas.”
“That old crone should never had given you her money. I am sure that is why you have never wed. But I will see you do, and before your next birthday, sister.”
“Ah, so you admit you want my money, brother, as you have run through yours, or should I say the family's. And never again speak of my grandmother in that way, or you shall regret it!”
“Bitch!”
“Greedy reprobate!”
Nicholas's snarl turned to a smile as he looked over Lilly's shoulder.
“Lord Danderfield, how opportune. My sister and I were just discussing your flattering proposal, and of course she is so enchanted by the prospect of becoming your wife.”
Scrunching her eyes closed, Lilly took a deep breath and then turning, she opened them once more.
“Of course she is. For pity’s sake, I would be doing the girl a favor, Braithwaite. Why, she is positively on the shelf, and look at her. A shameful creature. But you may be sure I shall take her in hand.”
She turned back to her brother. “And you hate me this much you would make me wed this man?”
“Greet me, girl!”
Lilly turned back to Danderfield before her brother replied. She had never really seen Lord Danderfield up close. Old and craggy was her first thought. His skin hung in folds, his hands were long and bony, and gray hair clung stubbornly to the sides of his head while the top was bald. He smelled of tobacco, spirits, and body odor, all of which she could smell clearly from her position several feet away.
“My brother has misled you, Lord Danderfield. I have no wish to marry, and especially not you. I am unsure why you have decided I would be a suitable wife now, but let me assure you that I would not.” If she had thought her harsh words would horrify the man, she had been mistaken. Licking his lips, he looked her over, taking especially long over her breasts, which were hidden behind the thick material of her hideous dress. His lips pulled into a thin line that Lilly thought constituted a smile.
“Spirit, excellent, Braithwaite. My last two wives were meek and gave me no fun at all. This one, however, I hold high hopes for.”
“I will not marry you, my lord,” Lilly said calmly, even though her heart was pounding. “No matter what promises my brother has given to the contrary.”
“I'll have you, girl, because no one else will, and your brother has consented.”
With these ominous words, he took her hand and led her to the dance floor. Lilly complied, as she had no wish to create a scene. But she would when she got her brother alone again.
“I just watched Lilly having a conversation with her brother and Lord Danderfield,” Dev said to James when he appeared at his side.
They were at the Deighton soirée, which was to Cam's mind just a fancy name for a ball.
“It may not have appeared heated, yet there was no doubting the tension in her as the two men talked. Danderfield's now dancing with her.”
Dev watched James take a step forward and look over the crowds to where Lilly danced with the old leech. Her face was tight as she tried to mask her feelings, but Dev had noticed everything about her from the minute she entered the room with her brother.
“God, that is a hideous dress, Sinclair.”
“It is an act, James. I am certain of that, just not sure why as yet.”
“She has a bird in her hair.”
“A robin, one would infer from the color of the breast.”
James snorted. “I need to speak to Nicholas and find out what the hell is going on.”
“He may not speak with you.”
“He will, or I will beat what I need out of him.”
“Eden just shook her head at that remark,” Dev said looking to where his sister danced several feet away. “Mind your business, shrew,” he added knowing she could hear his every word clearly.
“Do you want me to run him through, love?” James said, to which his wife nodded.
Eden's heightened sense was hearing, and of all their senses, hers was the most annoying, as she could hear most things, even with her earplugs in, from some distance away.
“So, it seems my suspicions are confirmed, and you are showing interest in my cousin, Sinclair,” the Duke said, leaning beside him on the wall. “I must admit that came as a surprise, as Eden told me you have, until now, never outwardly done so.”
Dev sighed. “Should have known this particular subject would remain in the forefront of my family’s minds.”
“I do wonder why you thought it wouldn’t, and why your siblings would not be interested in any woman who interests you,” the Duke said.
“A faint hope, Raven, nothing more.”
James snorted, his disbelief obvious. “Discretion, in your family?”
“True. As I said, it had been a faint hope only.”
The men were silent again, James switching his gaze from Lilly to Eden to check on her and back to Lilly again.
“I think tonight is as good a night as any to reacquaint myself with my cousin, Sinclair.”
“Perhaps Eden could hear what Danderfield is saying, if she danced close enough,” Dev said.
“I'm sure she will. Where you are concerned, my wife will do whatever it takes to make you happy.”
Dev grunted. His family always had his back, as he did theirs.
“May I take this brief moment of solitude from your siblings to offer my... congratulations, for want of a better word.”
“For what?” Dev dragged his eyes from Lilly to look at the man beside him.
The Duke was silent for several seconds and then he spoke. “For being the father Eden never had and for raising the wonderful family you have. I'm sure there are times when it was not easy.”
How did one answer that, Dev wondered? Raven was not a man given to excess emotions; in fact, when first they had met he had been colder than a dead man. Therefore, when he did express himself, it tended to shock the recipient.
“No words are necessary, Sinclair, but please know that now you are not alone in your commitments, and I will make it my life's work to make Eden happy, and be there for your clan should I be required.”
“Thank you,” Dev said, as uncomfortable with excessive emotion as the next man.
“I suppose if she marries you at least I can keep an eye on her.”
Dev's instincts screamed denial, yet it never showed on his face.
“Pardon?”
“Lilliana. If she marries you, at least I know she will be well cared for.”
“A lovely sentiment, I am sure, but may I suggest you put your energies into what is troubling your cousin instead of my future aspirations, Raven.”
James smiled. “I'm sure I have enough energy for both, Sinclair,” he added, holding out his hand.
Dev shook it and then hissed something foul at the Duke as he walked away laughing.
“Hello, cousin.”
“Duke.” Lilly sank into a curtsey and attempted to breathe as James joined her.
“James will do, I think.”
The emotions churning through her body were making her breathless. She could hear the small pants coming from her mouth but could do little to stop them. Dancing with Lord Danderfield had been horrid. He had touched her inappropriately several times and leered at her breasts. Now her cousin, whom she had once thought so much of, was talking with her.
“Lillana, are you well?”
“I-I am, thank you.”
“Come, take my arm and we shall walk a while.”
She did and slowly felt her breathing return to normal as they made their way through the open doors and out onto the terrace. Neither spoke as they continued to walk in slow measured steps and Lilly was grateful for it, grateful for the time to find herself again, even if it was on the arm of the man she had not spoken more than a handful of words with for many years.
“I have thought of you much over the years, cousin, and wondered how you fared, yet it was not till I married Eden that I realized just what I lost when we were separated as children. I would ask that you try to forgive me for the distance I placed between us, and hope that like me, you wish to change that.”
“It is all right, Duke. Your father—”
“Was a bastard, and most likely he terrified you when your family visited, and for that I'm sorry. But the thing is, Lilliana, those brief moments when you, Nicholas, and I ran wild over Raven Castle were the memories I cherished most.”
Lilly remembered them too. She had loved her quiet, stoic cousin almost as much as her brother back then. Even at a young age she had seen he was hurting, but did not know how to reach him, and then it was too late, as they had left Raven Castle for the last time.
“Do you know why you left and never returned that day?”
She shook her head.
“Your father tried to intervene on my behalf. Asked if I could spend more time with your family. My father refused, and that was the end of everything.”
“I'm sorry, I did not know why.”
“I am happy now, Lilliana. I have Eden, who loves me and I her, and two sisters.”
He smiled, and it was possibly the first genuine one she had received from him. She could see his happiness; it made him look younger and more approachable.
“Sisters, Duke?”
“James,” he reminded her. “The story is a long one. Will you come and take tea with us soon so you can make the acquaintance of my sisters, and hear our tale?”
“I would like that,” she said, feeling a small glow of warmth in the region of her heart. Nicholas may not love her, but perhaps this man could.
“Come, we should return, but before we do, can I ask something of you, cousin?”
“Of course.”
“Devon has told me how you were out on the street that night, and about your house.”
Of course he had. Bloody Sinclairs; it seemed they kept nothing close. Lilly did not understand that. She had always held her secrets inside, never sharing them.
“I see that angers you, but you must understand he told me only because he is concerned.”
“He has no reason to be so, as I am no concern of his,” Lilly said.
“Perhaps, but I think in this he is correct. You must take no more risks. No more nighttime ventures onto London Streets.”
Lilly nodded but remained silent.
“Promise that if you need help, then you will turn to me, if you cannot turn to Devon.”
“Very well,” Lilly said, accepting the kiss he brushed over her cheek. And then he was gone and she stood there, bemused. So much change and in such a short time; how was a person to cope?