“Goddamn it that hurts!” I scream through the last leg lift. My legs are shaking and sweat pours down my forehead and drips from my nose. Physical therapy has been brutal, much worse than the last time I went through it. It’s taken me the entire month to be able to get up on both feet.

I walk over to my therapist to sign out for the day. “You’re dragging your left foot, Sam. Concentrate on lifting it up,” he says.

“It’s still feeling pretty numb.”

“You’re getting stronger every day. Those biceps of yours get much bigger and you’re going to have to cut the sleeves out of your shirts.”

”They’ve been doing all the work for my legs,” I say, flexing them.

“Man, those are some serious guns, but you need to work on those chicken legs,” he laughs.

The guns might look good but I’m beginning to look like a grizzly bear with my long hair and beard. My hair has gotten so long I can pull it up into a man bun. Grooming my hair and beard have not been on my top list of priorities.

During the day, I do between four and six hours of therapy and at night I spend time writing in a journal. Emma still won’t respond to my mail, so most of my journal entries are meant for her. August, Nash, and Anna come visit every weekend. Anna literally screamed when she saw my bearded face. Then her hormones kicked in when she saw my chest and arm muscles. Her fingers touched me every chance she got. I know it’s just the way she is and it doesn’t bother me. I think that she thinks she’s feeding my ego, but I have no ego. I lost that the day that Emma left. I don’t blame her for leaving, I would have left me too, if that were possible.

August is picking me up today to go home. He has turned one of their spare bedrooms into a gym and already has a therapist set up for me. I’m giving myself another good month of therapy and then I’m planning on going to Florida. I want to be able to walk through her door on my own two feet and then fall to my knees and grovel at her feet if I have to.

One of the therapists here hits on me every time she sees me. She’s cute, but I’m not interested. The only woman I want and will ever want is Emma. Everything I do every day is done with Emma in mind.

“I just completed my last therapy session.” I walk into August’s office wiping my beard with a towel.

“It’s been a long time coming for you, hasn’t it?” He leans back in his leather chair.

“A lot longer than what I planned. Having to have that second surgery really put me back again, but at least now I have some feeling in my foot.” I place my cane on the edge of his desk and sit down. “How is the software program I set up for you working? Any issues for the overseas users?”

“It’s worked out so well that two other companies are wanting to buy it from you. I was on the phone with them a few minutes ago.” He places a note pad in front of me with names and numbers on them.

“I think you are growing out of your little office at the feed store, and I’m feeling a little cramped myself. I think it’s time we both moved back into the office behind the store. I’ve rented a couple of the offices out to realtors, but the two big ones upstairs are still open.”

“I think that’s a great idea, but I have something I need to take care of first.” I lean back in my chair and lock my hands behind my head.

“Emma? Have you gotten any response from her at all?”

“No. I’ve already bought my ticket to Florida. I have to try face-to-face and then, if she turns me down, I’ll have to move on.”

“I don’t envy you, man. But, I’m proud of how hard you’ve worked. Your tech company seems to be successful.”

“I put in an offer on the house down from Anna. It needs work, but I enjoyed remodeling the house in Florida. The property is really nice.”

“So I guess that means if the two of you get back together, she’s going to move here?” He raises his eyebrows.

“Honestly, I’ll move wherever she wants, but I would love for her to be here. If she wants to stay in Florida, then I’ll buy a house there too. Maybe I could even buy my old house back.”

“I think you need to worry about winning her back first,” he laughs.

I scoot my chair back and grab my cane to leave so I can get a shower and finally shave my beard off. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, I donated my car to the young man that I roomed with at the rehab center, I hope you don’t mind.”

“I’m glad you gave it to someone who is going to need it. What are you going to drive?”

“I’m going to buy me a big-ass truck.”

* * *

My leg catches as I get out of the cab. I’m stiff from the long plane ride. Emma should be at her shop this time of day, so I have the cab driver drop me a couple blocks down the road. The little downtown area is busy as usual. All the shops are adorned with red, white, and blue Fourth of July decorations and displays.

Slowly, still not completely sure of my legs, I make my way to the bench where I first spotted Emma. Never in a million years did I think that the beautiful woman on the other side of the window pane would fall in love with me. I gather up my courage and cross the street to the store, rehearsing my apology for the hundredth time. The sign is the same, but the exterior looks like it has a fresh coat of yellow paint. The door lets out the same familiar jingle as it opens. A lady I’ve never seen before greets me from behind the counter.

“Welcome. Let me know if I can help you with anything.”

“Is the owner in?”

“I’m the owner. Is there something I can help you with?” She steps out from behind the counter.

“I’m looking for Emma.”

“Oh, Emma.” She smiles. “She sold me the store about eight months ago. Sweet young girl.”

“She sold the store?” My jaw hangs open.

“Yeah, she said she needed a change.”

I bump into one of the clothes racks, almost knocking it over on the way out. I quickly dial the cab company and wait on the corner. The ten-minute ride to her house seems like an eternity. My heart thumps so hard it feels like it is bruising the inside of my chest.

Nana’s old Nissan is in the driveway. “Wait here for me,” I tell the cab driver, handing him some cash. I step up onto the green concrete slab, bracing myself on my cane, and knock on the door.

My heart continues to race as the doorknob turns. “Sam?” Nana looks confused when she sees me.

“Hi, Nana. I know Emma hasn’t answered my calls or my letters, but I’ve come all this way to see her,” I say, nervously.

“Sam, honey, I’m sorry. She doesn’t live here anymore.”

Racing just a minute ago, my heart now feels as if it has stopped beating altogether. “Where is she?”

“She and Tennyson moved to New York. Since she got her sight back, she was offered an internship.” She opens the door wider. “Please come inside, I’ll fix you a drink.”

Pictures of Emma and Tennyson line her walls. I pick up a picture of her and Chase in front of the Statue of Liberty. She looks completely happy.

“You broke her heart, you know,” she says, handing me a glass of tea.

“I know I did,” I hang my head. “I would do anything to take it back.”

She reaches in a drawer and pulls out a stack of letters and sets them in front of me. “I think you might be a little too late for that. She’s seeing some young man in New York.”

The tea glass makes a clanking sound as I swirl the ice. “I need to find her and win her back.” I take a sip of my drink. “Can you give me her address?”

“I’ve always liked you, Sam, but I’m afraid I can’t help you. If you want to win her back, you’ll find her.” She gets up and heads for the door. “If you do find her, hold onto her this time.”

I take the unopened letters with me. “I plan on doing just that,” I stop in front of her.

“I’ll be rooting for you, boy,” she says to me as I open the front door. “Sam?” I stop, turning to look at her. “Thank you for giving her eyesight back to her.” She places her hand on my cheek.

“I’m glad I at least did that for her.”

I hop in the cab and have him take me to The Lakeside Inn, the oldest hotel in Mt. Dora. The nostalgic vibe of the hotel is what I need right now. As I check in at the desk I look out the window at the old hitching posts on the wraparound porch and can imagine the row of horse-and-buggies that used to wait outside for their owners. This day has been way more challenging than I could have anticipated, I need to hide out and regroup. After getting set up in my room I walk out to the long wooden dock and lean against the wood railing, looking out at the sunset - the same sunset that I’ve shared many times with Emma.

I pull out my phone and punch in August’s number.

“How’d it go?” he says on the other end of the line.

“She doesn’t live here anymore. I need your hacking skills.”

“Sure, let me get to my desk.” His chair creaks in the background as he sits down. “What am I looking for?”

“I need to know where Chase lives in New York.”

“I have to have more than a first name to go on,” he laughs.

“I don’t know his last name. Try to look up previous owners of Emma’s shop, Cloze Pinz Fashionz’s.” I spell it for him.

“Got it: Chase Hathaway.” His fingers clack loudly against the keyboard. “Do you want to know how much money he has in his bank account?”

“Seriously?” My voice goes up.

“No, man, I’m just kidding with you, but I could get the information if you wanted it,” he laughs.

“I have no doubt that you could, but just an address will do,” I chuckle.

“I’m texting it to you. Do you need anything else?”

“No, that will work. Thanks.”

“Does that mean you’re going to be gone longer that you planned?”

“Looks that way. Don’t let Anna forget to feed Sadie for me.”

“Anna dropped her off here, she wouldn’t quit trying to eat her shoes. She called Nash yelling, so Nash figured that Sadie was safer with us,” he laughs again.

“Thank Nash for me.”

Next, I make a call to the airlines to get a flight out tomorrow morning. After I’ve purchased my tickets, I decide to walk a few blocks over to a Mexican restaurant on the corner called Eduardo’s. It’s a two-story building that many years ago was a gas station and Greyhound bus stop. On our walks downtown after Emma would get off work, she would explain the history behind each building. She could tell me something about each and every building in town. Her memory of each one was amazing.

I take a seat in the second-story bar. The building has no windows, just open-air archway openings. I order a drink and watch as people walk up and down the streets of the town. This place is so peaceful and friendly, it’s no wonder people never leave here. I never thought Emma would leave this for New York. I can’t picture myself in New York, but if she’ll have me back, I will live wherever she wants to live. I finish up my drink and head back to the hotel.

* * *

The silver RX8 that I rented to get out of the city is a sweet ride. Not something I would typically drive, but I’m second-guessing that truck now. The two-hour drive from the airport has taken me into upstate New York, quite a contrast from the city. The skyscrapers and people have been traded out here for beautiful, rolling green hills. I double check the address as I cruise past a line of million dollar homes. Chase has clearly done well. I finally find his home at the end of the road. The house is not as impressive or showy as the others on his road, but it sits on a beautiful piece of property. A recent model Land Rover is parked out front. I park my rental car right behind it.

Nobody answers when I knock. The sound of people talking drifts over to me from somewhere off in the distance, so I take off in search of them. When I walk around the back of the house, I see Tennyson playing with a goat and Chase working on a lawn mower in a tank top and shorts. Tennyson sees me first.

“Sam!” she squeals and comes running straight for me. I lay my cane down, kneeling down and catching her in my arms. “I knew you would come back one day,” she says, hugging my neck.

“Did you now?” I hug her tightly.

“Do you want to come see my goat? I named him Sawyer. I tried to name him Sam, but Emma wouldn’t let me.” She pouts out her bottom lip.

“What are you doing here, Sam?” Chase is obviously not as happy to see me.

“I’m looking for Emma.” Tennyson pulls at my hand as I stand up.

“Tenny, go feed Sawyer. Sam is leaving,” he says flatly.

“But…”

“No buts.”

“Bye, Sam,” she stomps off.

I reach down and grab my cane off the ground. Chase puts his hand on my shoulder and leads me back to my car. “I don’t know what you want from Emma, but she’s moved on and you need to do the same. She has a boyfriend now.”

“I know she’s moved on, but I need to see her.”

“She doesn’t need to see you.”

“Look, I screwed up and I at least want one chance to fix it.” I open my car door.

“You crushed her. I don’t think you can fix that.” He leans on my car and crosses his arms across his chest.

“Don’t you think that should be her decision? I love her and I know she loved me. I’ve worked really hard to get my life together and to have something to offer her.”

“All she wanted was you. Now, I’d like you to get out of here before she comes home.”

I can see that I’m not going to get anywhere with him. “Please tell her that I came looking for her.” He doesn’t respond. I pull out of his drive and head for the town I saw a few miles back off the highway. I’ll get something to eat and then run by his house again. I’m not going to let him stop me from my mission.

I parallel park my car in front of a sandwich shop, which I am thankful to find open on a Sunday. I order my food and sit in the front bay window, looking out at the city block.

A brunette across the street catches my eye. Her back is to me, but something about the way she moves looks familiar. She turns her head to the side, like she’s looking for someone. It’s Emma. I jump up from my seat, abandoning my food at the table. I try to run to her, but my cane slows me down. I yell her name and she turns toward me, shielding her eyes from the bright sun. Before I make it to her, a man appears at her side kissing her cheek. His arm slips around her waist. I stop dead in my tracks.

Her eyes are on me. I’m close enough that I hear the man ask her if she’s okay. She nods her head, then takes his hand and turns in the opposite direction of me. I finish crossing the road and watch her shrink into the distance. Just before they round the corner out of sight, she looks back at me and stops. She says something to the man. He looks in my direction and says something back to her, then he continues in the direction they were headed.

He slowly walks back toward me. I pick up my pace toward her, my cane clicking loudly on the sidewalk.

“What are you doing here, Sam?” She stops in front of me and places her hands on her hips.

“You look beautiful.” My words seem to take away some of the hostility she’s putting off. Her arms relax by her side.

She lets out a sigh. “Why are you here?”

“Because I was an idiot, a complete jerk…no, more like a complete ass.”

Her arms cross over her chest. “Go on.”

I take one step closer to her. “Can we go somewhere to talk?”

“No, we can’t. And you have exactly five minutes to say what you have come all this way to say.” She looks at her watch.

“I’ve rehearsed for months what I wanted to say to you. Now that I’m standing in front of you, I’ve forgotten every word. You take my breath away. I love you, Emma Flinn. I know I can never make up to you the things I’ve done to you, to us. But we can start over.” I take another step toward her and brush a piece of hair out of her face. “I was so afraid I could never be the man you deserved. I am that man now.” I hold my cane out to the side. “I will never be perfect. I will always have this damn limp, but everything else in my life is fixed. I have my own company up and running, and I’m buying another house. The only thing I’m missing is you.”

“You had me, Sam. You threw us away. I never asked you for perfect. All you ever had to do was tell me what you were going through. I would have loved you, with or without the use of your legs. I wanted you.” She plants her finger firmly in my chest. “I would have never let you pay for me to see again if it meant you losing yourself. I’m thankful for my sight, but I hate that you put me in that position. You didn’t give me an option and without knowing it, I chose myself over you.” Tears start to fill her eyes.

“I wanted you to see more than I wanted to walk. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid eyes on, and not just on the outside. Every ounce of you is beautiful. I didn’t give you an option because I knew what you would say.” I wipe a tear that has fallen. “Please, can I have another chance?”

Her eyes search mine for a moment, then she takes a step back looking at her watch. “Your time is up.” She wipes her eyes, stepping backward.

“At least take this.” I pull my journal out of my back pocket. “After you read it, if you change your mind, I’ll be staying in a hotel tonight.” I look around the block and point one out. “I’ll stay there,” I point.

She takes it from me. “I don’t think there is anything in here that will change my mind. Go home, Sam.” She turns and walks away.