“Anna! Shit! Anna!” I try to get out of bed, but my legs won’t move. She started sleeping in TR’s room because I couldn’t make myself go in there. I take my phone off the night stand and send her a text, asking if she is home. It pings back almost immediately, saying they were shorthanded at work and to call August if I need anything.

I sit up and move my legs to the edge of the bed with my hands. Both of them are completely numb and lifeless. My wheelchair is out in the garage. I have no idea how I’m going to get to it. I rub my hands down my scruffy face and blow out a long breath. I don’t have any other choice. I reach for my phone. August answers on the second ring.

“Hey, Sam.”

“I can’t feel my legs. Anna is…”

He cuts me off. “I’ll be right over.”

I try my cane first, but I can’t hold myself up on it. I ease myself onto the floor and drag myself to the dresser to pull out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Unshed tears build up behind my eyes. I don’t want to go through this again. I want to be the man I was with Emma.

After I finagle my jeans up, I lay back on the floor and let the tears flow. They quickly turn into gut-wrenching sobs. My hands cover my eyes in a futile attempt to hold back the stream of tears. August barges through the front door yelling my name, but I can’t even form words through my own sobs of pain.

“Sam,” he says as he sits beside me on the floor. Without any words between us, he gathers me in his arms and holds me. We stay like this until my cries ease up.

He gently lifts me into a chair in the living room and kneels in front of me. “What do you need from me?”

“My wheelchair is in the garage.”

“No, Sam. Tell me what it is that you need.” His eyes are filled with pain for me.

“I need to have surgery again. I lied to you, surgery is an option.”

“So, why haven’t you? Are you afraid to go through it again?”

“It’s more than just fear.” I swallow hard and wipe the last bit of moisture from my face.

“Tell me, Sam.”

I rest back in my chair. “Emma was blind. She lost her sight five years ago when her parents were killed. Her sister was an infant at the time. She took on the responsibility of her. The man that killed her parents had threaten to kill her if she identified him and since she didn’t have her sight, she was free of him. But her parents’ murderer went free. The doctors told her they could reverse her blindness, but she told them no so that she could keep her sister safe. Also, there was the issue of money. She didn’t have any insurance and couldn’t afford the surgery.” I stop for a minute and rub my hands through my mop of hair.

“She is the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. She didn’t let her blindness hold her back. She opened her own clothing store with the help of her best friend, Chase. She was still designing clothes, even though she was blind. She worked in the boutique every day, making it work. I was sitting on a bench across from her shop and saw her through the window. I fell in love with her beauty, but I really fell in love with her when I got to know her.”

“You said she was blind. Why did you leave her?”

“Emma finally agreed to the surgery. She kept getting denied the grant that would pay for it. The final letter she got denied her again, but I lied and told her she had been approved. I took the rest of the money I had made from working with you and sold my house. It was enough to cover her costs.”

“You still haven’t answered why you left?”

“I had already seen a doctor and knew I needed surgery. I could have my surgery or I could pay for hers. I couldn’t do both, so I decided she deserved her sight more than I needed my legs. I couldn’t burden her with half a man. Not after everything she had been through. I want her to have the life she missed out on and if I stayed, she would feel obligated to take care of me.”

He gets up and stands in front of me. “You have never been half a man, Sam, and what you did for her is incredible. You are so selfless. I only wish I was the man you have become. I don’t think you are giving yourself or Emma the benefit of the doubt. You pushed her out of the picture without giving her a choice.”

“That’s just it. I don’t want her to choose between a life taking care of a cripple and a life of happiness.”

“I bet if you asked her, you make her happy, with or without the use of your legs.”

“I want her to have more. Hell, I want her to have it all. She could go anywhere in the world she wants. I’m not going to be her anchor.”

“Why are you letting a wheelchair define you?”

“It just does.” I turn my head away from him.

“You know you can get the surgery you need. I will give you the money, Sam.”

“I don’t want you to give me the money! That was the whole point of leaving here. I wanted to become my own man and not need anyone ever again!” I yell.

“We all need someone. I need you in my life, my best friend. I need Nash like the air that I breathe. I need those two beautiful children like nothing I could ever imagine.” He squats back down in front of me, demanding that I look at him. “And, I think you need Emma.”

“Please…please, just get me my wheelchair.” Tears threaten to start again. I know he’s right - I do need her - but she doesn’t need me like this.

He silently stands back up and lets out a long, frustrated breath. He brings the wheelchair inside and sets it beside me. I get to the edge of the chair and maneuver into the wheelchair.

He stares at me for a moment and then breaks his silence. “You can’t live in this house. It’s not set up for you to move around in this thing. You’re coming home with me and I want no arguments from you. I’ll grab a few of your things and we’ll head out.” He storms off into my room.

I beat my fist on the arms of the chair. This is not what I want, not any of it. I want to get up and walk back into Emma’s arms.

* * *

My car finally arrives and I have a little more freedom. August and Nash set me up in their guest room. Both of them have been tiptoeing around me. They have pretty much left me to my own demise. I’ve learned quickly to become self-sufficient again. I load up in my car and head to the Feed Store. August went back to work yesterday and I’m itching to be doing something besides feeling sorry for myself.

I wheel myself to his office door and knock.

“Come in,” I hear him say.

His face looks perplexed when I wheel through his door. “I was wondering if I could have my old office back? I know you kept the other one, but my wheelchair won’t go up the stairs,” I say trying to make a joke.

He sets his pen on the desk and folds his hands together. “Are you able to afford rent on the office space?”

I know damn good and well he doesn’t really want me to pay rent, but I appreciate what he’s trying to do. If I was a betting man, I’d bet Nashville put him up to it. “Yes, I can. And while we’re at it, I’d like to pay rent for borrowing a room in your house. As soon as I can save money again, I’d like to find my own place.”

The vein in his neck is popping out. This only happens when he’s about to lose his cool. “Suit yourself, but I think if I were you, I’d save my pennies for the surgery you need and stay living in the house you are welcome to spend a lifetime in for free. But that’s just me.” He grabs a set of keys from his desk drawer and walks out.

I roll my wheelchair out and follow him to my old office. I don’t think anything in here has changed. “The rent is due at the first of the month,” he says. He turns around before he walks out. “I really could use you back in your old position. The work is too much for one man.”

I let out a frustrated laugh. “I don’t think I will be going overseas anymore.”

“You don’t think people in wheelchairs are capable of traveling?” He raises his eyebrows, daring me to protest.

“No, it’s not that. I have my own freelance business that I would like to build, but I would gladly freelance for your company and send you a bill.” I smile at him. I know I shouldn’t give him shit. He’s been nothing but good to me, but I want to be my own man.

He finally breaks out in a smile. “Okay, I get it. I’ll back off and if you need something you will let me know.” He walks closer to me. “I need my best friend back. See how easy that was?” He pats me on the shoulder and walks out.

I set up my office and start working right away. I’ve gotten a little behind the last week and need to make up for lost time. Before I know it, the day is halfway gone. Something thumps on the wall next door, and a smile grows across my face when I realize what the noise is. I wheel from around my desk straight into August’s office.

“Can I play?” I ask, as the dart that he was throwing goes rogue and into the wall.

He hands me the set of blue darts that are lying on his desk. “Loser buys dinner,” he says, smiling.

That means I’ll be buying and he knows it. I’ve never beaten him at darts.

* * *

“Man, I haven’t eaten here since you left. They have the best hamburgers.” He takes a big bite. “Oh, I forgot to tell you the girls will be joining us for drinks after they drop the kids off at Nash’s parents.”

“How are George and Nancy?” I ask, dipping a fry in ketchup.

“In love with their new grandson,” he says through a mouth full of food.

“How is it being a dad?”

“It’s the best thing in the world. Five years ago, it would have never crossed my mind. Now, I have two beautiful children and a woman that I cherish. I couldn’t be happier.”

“Does it get better the longer you two are together?”

He lays what is left of his burger on his plate and wipes his hands on his napkin. “Does what get better? Sex?” he laughs.

“Yes, I mean sex. You are the only person I can talk to about it. Your advice you gave me last time was spot on. I’m glad I waited until I found Emma.”

“Yes, it gets better, but I think you have to work at it. With two children, it sometimes has to be planned. I have found that I have to put as much energy into my marriage as my job. That’s what makes us work, other than the fact that my wife is sexy as hell.”

“I’m glad you still find me sexy, especially after just giving birth to your son,” Nash says, walking up from behind August.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, he’d say anything to get you in bed,” Anna says as she sits down beside me.

“At least I have someone to keep me warm at night,” August gives her a shit-eating grin.

“Enough, you two,” Nash says as she gives August a kiss.

We finish eating as the girls order their drinks. I watch how August and Nash interact with one another. She has her hands on him as much as she can. August flirts with her every chance he gets. It really makes me miss Emma. I realize how much I have missed all of them. August and Anna converse in their usual banter while Nash tells me funny stories about Sara.

Anna decides she wants to dance and, despite my protests, she rolls me out onto the dance floor. Before long, August and Nash join us. The entire night is what I really needed: to feel normal again. I’m more determined now not to let this chair define me.

It’s late when we finally make it back home. I watch as August playfully swats Nash on the ass and they run upstairs. That is something I will never have again with another person. Emma was it for me. I’ll spend the rest of my life working and trying to forget her.