CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

RYDER

I go to kiss her but hear a knock on our door. “I’ll get it,” I tell her, walking out of the closet to go answer it.

When I open the door, I’m not surprised to see Jaycent standing there. His eyes are puffy and red. He avoids meeting mine.

I take a step to the left and welcome him in.

“Who is it, babe …?”

We both look up to see Ashlyn coming into view, and she immediately grabs her phone off the countertop when she sees Jaycent standing there, turning away from her. “I’m gonna go see Becca,” she states and then walks out the door that I’m still holding open.

I shut it and turn to face him. I don’t say anything. I don’t know what Jaycent is going through at the moment, but he’s come here to talk to me. I’ll let him take his time.

We were all upset to find out about Maggie. But the love I felt for her outweighed the madness I felt toward my father and Rosie from keeping her a secret.

He gets my attention as he starts to pace. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” he says, and his voice is rough.

“You didn’t,” I assure him.

He runs a hand through his hair. “I just needed to talk to someone,” he says with a head nod. “Becca doesn’t understand …”

“I will,” I tell him.

He nods his head again as if he’s trying to convince himself of that. He stops pacing and turns to look me in the eye, and I see the hurt all over his face. “I knew Gwenda slept with my dad.”

I frown. “So you’ve known about Maggie?”

He shakes his head. “No. But I knew they had an affair. I knew that your mother was in love with him.”

“She loved him?” I ask confused. “I thought that it was just a one-time sort of thing?”

“I don’t know how many times it was,” he says with disgust. “But I caught them one day. At my parents’ house.” He shakes his head. “My mother had passed… He was lonely … weak …” He swallows. “She loved him, but he didn’t love her.” He growls as he starts to pace again. “Then he died.” He sniffs. “I had no clue …” I go to ask what he’s talking about, but he continues as he paces. “And then she went and paid Conner to keep her away from me,” he growls, getting angry. “‘Cause she knew I loved Becca. I could have prevented all of it had I just opened my fucking mouth,” he snaps.

I take a step toward him. “Jaycent? I’m trying to understand, man. But you’re not making much sense.”

He stops and turns to face me. Tears in his eyes. “It’s all my fault. Had I stood up for me and Becca back then, none of this shit would have ever happened!” he snaps.

I frown. “I don’t understand ….”

“Your mother loved my dad!” he shouts. “And when he didn’t love her back, she got angry. She knew me and Becca had something, but she refused to let her daughter be with the son of the man she loved. So she paid Conner to move away with Becca.” He’s breathing heavy and nostrils flared. “Your father told Becca that he had taken care of Conner when I was the one who had him thrown in jail.”

“You what?”

“I didn’t want her mad at me more than she already was. I made some phone calls and found some old drug charges against him. Guess that was another reason he was so willing to get away from here and go to Seattle. Everything leading up to this point is my fault.” He sighs.

“No, it’s not,” I say, shaking my head.

He narrows his eyes at me. “I never told anyone what I knew. If I had told your father …”

“He knew.”

“He knew about the affair, but Maggie …”

“He knew about her too,” I say softly. “He knew about our sister, and that was how Rosie found out about her.” I take another step toward him. “Maggie is safe,” I say, and my words cause him to fist his hands down by his side.

“Your mother wants her,” he says through gritted teeth.

“What? How do you know that?” I ask.

“Your father told me when we had our talk outside at Rosie’s earlier tonight. She’s been threatening him about her.”

I start shaking my head. “But why all of a sudden?”

He snorts. “Your father has filed for divorce. To her friends and the town, she looks like an idiot who couldn’t keep her husband. But if she has a child.” He shrugs. “She has sympathy.”

That’s exactly what I had told Ashlyn. “What is he gonna do?” I ask.

“He’s going to give her what she wants, so she’ll leave Rosie and Maggie alone.”

I run a hand through my hair, letting out a breath. “How much does she want?” She had wanted him to step away from the company, so he did, but he can always go back to it. After the divorce is final, we can sign some more papers and everything be undone. What is the price she wants in order to walk away from Maggie?

He looks at me and says, “She doesn’t want money.” I frown. “He’s called off the divorce.”

ASHLYN

I sit on the couch in Becca’s apartment as she sits beside me crying. “He’s so mad.” She sniffs.

I reach over and grab some tissue for her. “At your mother?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “At everyone.”

I place my hand on her back and start to rub it. “He’s not mad at you, Becca.”

She nods. “He is. On the way home, he was talking all this nonsense. About my dad and then Conner. And then he was yelling about me going to Seattle …” She sobs.

I pull her to my side and gently rock her from side to side. “He didn’t mean it,” I assure her. “There’s just so much going on right now …”

The door to the apartment opens, and I look over my shoulder to see Jaycent walk in with a pissed-off Ryder behind him.

Now what?

Jaycent comes over to us and bends down in front of her. She sniffs and then wipes her nose with the tissue. Without a word, he takes her into his arms, and she sobs into his chest. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he tells her softly.

**

We make our way up to our apartment without saying a word to one another. I walk in and go straight to our bedroom. I’m getting undressed and climbing into bed when he enters, holding a glass with dark liquid in it.

I hold in a sigh. “What’s wrong?” It’s a stupid question to ask because there is so much that isn’t right at the moment.

He ignores me as he walks to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

I stare at it for a few seconds, debating whether to go in there or to just lie down and go to sleep. The stubborn part of me decides to get out of bed.

Storming into the bathroom, I find his white t-shirt on the floor while he bends at the waist to push down his jeans. He looks over at me as he straightens and kicks them to a corner. “Thought you were going to bed,” he growls.

I come over to him and lean my hip up against the countertop. “And I thought you were in a good mood?”

He snorts. “I’m so fucking done with this day.” Picking up his glass, he takes a big swig.

“Then come to bed with me,” I say, reaching out and touching his arm softly. I can feel his tense muscles ripple under my touch. “This past week has been hectic, to say the least. Let’s just go to bed and start over tomorrow.”

He slams his glass down on the countertop. “Tomorrow won’t be any better.” Then he turns to walk over to the shower.

“Well, aren’t you the little pessimist,” I observe.

He enters the shower, once again shutting me out. The only thing I’m wearing is a pair of boy shorts, so I rip them off and go in after him. He’s standing under the sprayer, his head tilted back and his arms lifted as he runs his hands through his hair.

And my sex clenches at the way the water runs down over his hard chest and defined abs. I want to fall to my knees and lick his defined V. I know sex should be the last thing on my mind, but I’m so unbelievably attracted to him. It makes me insane. His cock hangs between his thighs and makes my heart speed up. Even soft, it’s intimidating.

I make my way over to him as he continues to run his hands through his hair, eyes closed. And I crave to know what he’s thinking. What’s going on behind that gorgeous face of his? Why will tomorrow be just as bad as today? I can’t help but think I’m part of the problem. He told me earlier I’m not, but that doesn’t help ease my fear. Am I in the way? Am I just another obstacle creating stress in his life? I know his workload has gotten bigger, but I also know that now he is gonna try to balance the two so our relationship doesn’t suffer. And that alone could cause problems between us.

I reach out and place my hands on his hips. His eyes snap open, and he lowers his head to look down at me, his hands gripping my hips in a state of panic.

“Sorry,” I say, realizing he didn’t know I was in here. He is really out of it.

He pulls me to him, and I feel his cock start to harden against my lower belly. His hands leave my hips and find their way into my hair. I gasp as he tightens them, and his lips crash on mine. I can taste the lingering whiskey in his kiss, and it has my head spinning when he knocks my back into a cool shower wall.

I pull away panting. “It’s okay,” I tell him and his brows pull together in confusion. I just want him to take his frustration out on me. I want him to fuck me! We both need it.

He places his forehead on mine and closes his eyes, sighing heavily. “I’m trying …”

“Shh,” I say, running my hands up and down his forearms. “It’s just you and me right now, baby. Let go.”

Without another word, his lips are on mine again.