CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

RYDER

I’m sitting behind my desk, my phone in my hands texting Ashlyn when she walks right in my door.

“Babe?” I stand, noticing that her cheeks are wet and her blue eyes red. “What’s wrong?” I ask coming around my desk.

She sniffs. “I just spoke to Vicki …” Her chest heaves.

“What?” I ask, coming up to her.

“She said she knew …” She covers her mouth with her hand.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, placing my hands on her upper arms. I can feel her body physically shaking. “Are you hurt?” She seemed fine yesterday from the accident. “Talk to me,” I say, patting her down, looking for bruises and blood.

“She knew all along,” she growls, removing her hands from her mouth. “She knew about the pregnancy.”

“Vicki’s pregnant?” I ask. Fuck, when was the last time I slept with her?

Shaking her head quickly, she then rambles on. “Vicki said Bradley did it.”

“Bradley? What does he have to do with this?” She’s not making any sense.

Her shoulders hunch forward as she lets out another sob, and then she slaps her hand over her mouth. I step to her, and she lifts her free hand, shoving me away before running to my adjoining bathroom.

I enter behind her as she kneels, vomiting into the toilet. “Jesus!” I hiss coming up behind her. I grab her hair and pull it back the best I can. Her body jerks as she does it again and again. I softly rub her back. “It’s okay,” I say although I’m freaking out. She was in a wreck just two days ago, and now, she’s vomiting. Maybe she has a concussion. “We need to go to the hospital,” I tell her, but she just shakes her head before getting sick again.

Five minutes later, she gets up from her knees, and I turn the sink on for her. She splashes her face with cold water before taking some little sips to rinse out her mouth.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice is hoarse.

“Don’t be sorry,” I tell her, pressing my hand to her forehead. She doesn’t really feel hot, but she is clammy. “Come sit down.” I guide her back into my office and have her sit on the couch then run to get her a cold rag. “Here, hold this on your head.”

She complies as she leans her head back against the couch and closes her eyes. “Now tell me again what is going on.”

She opens her eyes to look at me, and they fill with tears again. “I got on your phone the other night and sent Vicki a message to come see you. It was the only way I knew she would show up.”

Show up where? “I don’t understand.”

“I needed her to explain a few things she said to me at the wedding.” I watch her swallow. “She told me that Bradley had been replacing my birth control pills with sugar pills. And I’m pregnant.”

**

I pace back and forth in my office to the point I think I may fall through from putting a hole in the floor. Several minutes have gone by since she told me she was expecting. But it feels like hours. My girlfriend is pregnant, and I wish it to be mine, but it’s her ex fuck-buddy.

“Say something.” I can hear the fear in her voice, but I can’t speak yet.

So I stay silent. Just continue to pace. Sugar pills? He tricked her. I knew the bastard was in love with her, but this? What kind of man is he? How could he do this to her?

“You have to believe me,” she pleads. “I had no idea …”

“I do,” I respond without hesitation.

“Then talk to me. Please,” she begs.

I come to a stop and look over at her. Tears still stream down her face as she stares at me wide in fear matching her voice.

It breaks my heart to see her like this. Going over to her, I fall to my knees at her feet and grab her hips, pulling her ass to the edge of the couch. Then I rest my head on her lap and say the one thing I want her to know. “I don’t care that it’s his. I’ll take care of you both.” That’s all there is to it. I love this woman, and I will love her child as if it’s mine!

A sob wracks her body, and I look up to see her placing her hands over her mouth. She looks down at me and shakes her head quickly. “It’s yours.”

“What?” I ask, pulling away from her.

“The baby is yours.” She manages to get out through another sob.

“But I thought …?”

“I’m only eight weeks.” She reaches up and wipes the tears from her face. “The doctor checked me in the hospital, and I’m eight weeks. I had been sleeping with Bradley before I met you, yes, but it had been three weeks prior to meeting you in Panama.”

My heart rate picks up with excitement. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I got pregnant with your baby while on your balcony in the pouring rain. On your birthday.”

I watch her speechless. It’s my baby! We’re having a baby!

“I’m so sorry …” she cries.

The door to my office decides to open at that time, but I don’t even look to see who it is. “Get out!”

“But, sir …” comes Kelly’s voice.

“I said get out!” I snap. The door closes instantly.

I stand and sit down next to her. I take her face in my hands and turn her head to face me. “Don’t be sorry. I’m not sorry, Ashlyn.”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what to do.”

I place my hand on her belly, and I can’t help but smile. She looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind, and maybe I have. This isn’t how I planned on starting a family, but as long as it’s with Ashlyn, I don’t care. “We have a baby,” I say simply.

She lets out a noise that sounds like a growl and stands. She turns to face me, her red eyes now narrowed at me. “How can you be so calm about this?” she demands. “How can you agree with what he did?”

I stand. “I don’t condone what he did for one second. But I do know that it doesn’t matter how it happened; we are going to have a baby.”

She runs a hand through her hair, and I can see the emotion change all over her body. Her shoulders pull back, and her nostrils flare. “How could he do this to me?”

“I’m not taking his side, but Vicki is a manipulator. You can’t trust everything she says.” Her eyes shoot daggers at me. “And how would she find that out? She doesn’t even know Bradley.”

She places her arms over her chest and starts to pace like I was doing only moments ago. “She had this look of satisfaction on her face when she told me that you would leave me when you found out I was pregnant.”

“I wouldn’t—”

“And then I said Ryder’s not that type of guy,” she interrupts me, and I smile at how much this woman believes in us. “Then she said why would he raise another man’s baby? I told her the baby was yours. And she got pissed.” She shakes her head at herself as if she’s replaying the moment in her head. “She just started vomiting at the mouth. Telling me how she was standing inside the lobby of Q’s when I chased you out.”

I frown. “I never saw her.”

“She said she overheard the entire thing and guessed there must be another man. She said she had a choice to follow you and make her move or wait. She chose to wait. That it wasn’t hard to pick out the man who was pissed off, and she stopped him in the lobby. They went and had some drinks, and he confessed to her how much he loved me and how he had been switching my pills for months. Fucking. Months,” she shouts. “And that they both saw that as their way to get what they wanted. Vicki gets you, and Bradley gets me …”

I step in front of her and place my hands on her shoulders, bringing her pacing to a stop. “Calm down. Take a breath.”

She doesn’t. “Ryder, I—”

“Need to rest,” I interrupt her again. I gently guide her backwards and when her knees hit the couch she falls onto it. I kneel in front of her again.

She shakes her head. “It all makes sense now. The fact he won’t go away. The fact he just won’t accept I love you.” Her eyes meet mine. “I told him I loved you. That I wanted you.” I smile. “But he just kept lingering around.” She swallows. “Vicki told me she suspected I was pregnant. So he must have been hanging around thinking I was but thought it was his.”

I run a hand down my face and let out a sigh. Fucking bastard.

“That’s why she looked at me funny when she saw I was drinking wine at the wedding …” Her words trail off, and her eyes widen. “I’ve been drinking.”

“Baby?” I say, and her wild eyes meet mine. I gently rub her knee. “You said they checked you out at the hospital.”

She nods. “Right before you walked in. They said everything looked fine.”

“That’s why you were so nervous,” I state, and she nods as if I asked a question. “What were you so afraid of?”

She lowers her eyes to the floor. “I didn’t want you to think I was trying to trap you.”

I wrap my arms around her. “I would have never thought that.”

She falls into my chest and whispers, “What are we going to do?”

“I already told you,” I say, running my hand through her hair. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

My door opens, and she jerks away from me. My father was storming in, but comes to a stop when he sees Ashlyn wipe the tears from her face.

A silence follows as if no one really knows what to say. Finally, I stand and tell him. “Shut the door, please. We need to talk.”

She stayed seated while I filled my dad in on everything that has happened up to this point since the wedding last weekend, and he seemed as calm and relaxed as I am. Ashlyn, on the other hand, was still a little panicked.

He comes to stand in front of me while she sits on the couch. “I need to speak to you privately,” he whispers.

I go over to her and take her hand, asking her to stand, and walk her over to the door. “Kelly?” I snap, and she jumps from her desk, running over. “Will you get Ashlyn a water, please?” I ask her.

She nods quickly. “I need to talk to you …” Kelly spots my father behind me through my open door, and I watch him nod at her. She takes Ashlyn’s hand and nods back at him.

“What was that?” I ask turning to face him.

“First, let me congratulate you on becoming a dad.”

I want to smile at his words, but his tone tells me something very important is going on. “What is it?”

“I made a phone call to the sheriff’s office.”

I frown. “And?”

“I spoke to my friend, Detective Robert Mores, and he told me that the woman who hit Ashlyn didn’t make it. And he also told me that I knew her.”

“Who was she?”

“It was Jessica.”

My eyes widen. “Are you sure?”

He nods. “And she was in a rental car. That was in your mother’s name.”

**

After talking to my father, I was all kinds of wound up. People were trying to fuck with what’s mine, and I don’t take kindly to that. But I can only deal with one at this time, so I brought Ashlyn back into my office.

She sits back down on my couch, and I stand in front of her. “Give me Bradley’s number.”

Her head snaps up and her eyes widen. She starts shaking her head quickly. “No, Ryder. Let it go …”

“Fuck no!” I snap.

She stands. “Don’t do this. Please,” she begs. “This is what he wants. To break us apart.”

I cup her face in my hands and soften my voice. “Nothing is happening to us. I still love you. I still want you. And we’re having a baby together. But he doesn’t get to walk away after what he has done to you.”

She opens her mouth, but I don’t give her the chance to speak. “I’m calling him one way or the other. Either you give me his number or I call Vicki.”

She narrows her eyes at the mention of her name. “Why would you call her?”

“Because they sound like they’re best friends now. And I bet my ass that she has it.”

She takes a step back and hangs her head. “She told me he’s here in town.”

“He’s been here all this time?”

Shaking her head, she says, “I guess he has some business here and just comes and goes. But he’s here until Friday.”

I had called Milton and told him to come pick Ashlyn up. She protested the entire time, but she ended up going with him and back to our apartment while I took a cab ride to Brooklyn.

I should be nervous. I’m about to come face to face with a man who is also in love with her and has been her best friend for three years now. I mean, he does know her better than I do. He’s had more time with her. But all I feel is hatred toward him.

I knock on the door, and it opens seconds later. The same man I saw half-dressed in her apartment weeks ago now stands in front of me, once again only half-dressed. A pair of jeans hangs on his hips, the button undone, no shirt, and a glass of something clear in his hand.

“Hello again.”

He had been staring at me as if he recognized me but couldn’t figure out from where. At the sound of my voice, his eyes narrowed with recognition.

“What the fuck …?”

I walk in, knocking my shoulder into his. He slams the door behind me. “Let me guess. You’ve come to kick my ass?” he asks with a chuckle as if that’s impossible.

I spin around to face him. “No. I’m not gonna kick a dog when it’s down.”

He snorts. “Down? Listen, buddy, I don’t know what Ashlyn’s told you but …”

“She is pregnant,” I say interrupting him.

I watch as his face turns from surprise to satisfaction. He even fucking smiles, and I have to fist my hands down by my side. I was telling the truth when I said I wasn’t here to kick his ass. He’s not worth that.

“So you came to tell me you gave up?” he asks with a smirk on his face. “You walked away again?”

“Why would I walk away from my child?” I’m not gonna tell him that I would have stayed with her even if it was his.

He takes a step toward me. “You’re lying.”

“I have nothing to lose.” I place my hands out wide. “I have the girl after all.”

“You fucking bastard,” he snaps. “I’m not leaving her. I won’t stop until I have her.”“You think she wants you?” I ask with a laugh, and that just pisses him off more. “She knows that you switched her birth control pills.” His eyes widen. “She knows you tried to trap her.” I look him up and down with disgust. “You are a sorry excuse for a man.”

I start to walk toward the door when his words stop me. “You don’t know what it was like.” I turn to face him. “Man after man,” he growls. “To watch her come crawling back to me but not give me all of her.” I hate that he makes it sound as if she needed him. “She fucking used me …”“You sound like a fucking chick.”

“I love her!” he shouts. “When she told me over Christmas break that she was going to move to New York after school, I didn’t believe her. Thought she would change her mind, but as time went on, I realized I was gonna lose her. I needed a reason to make her stay. She just needed to believe we were meant to be together.”“You’re delusional.”

“I needed to her to see that she had feelings for me,” he snaps.I shake my head. “You were supposed to be her best friend. But you’re nothing but a fraud.”

“I don’t expect you to understand. You walked away as if she meant nothing to you,” he shouts.

“I made a mistake,” I snap. “But I guarantee I won’t make that mistake twice. If she told me today she wanted you, I would fight for her like a fucking man.”

He takes a step toward me. “You think you have everyone fooled?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“When I refused to leave and went back to see her, your friend wouldn’t let me enter the apartment. He told me that you loved her and that you just needed time to come around.” Jaycent said that about me? “She believed it too. She fell so hard for all your bullshit. Then I met one who sees through all your lies. Vicki told me all about you and how you use women. How you need them to make you feel superior. How she’s your true love, and you always run back to her … And how you were going to marry her …”

I throw my head back, letting out a laugh I can’t keep in. “I’ve heard enough,” I say, still laughing as his brown eyes shoot daggers at me. I slap him on the shoulder, and his body tenses. “I just wanted to say thanks for making me a dad with the woman who I plan on marrying.”

“You son of a bitch!” he shouts.

I walk over to the door and open it. A brunette stands there with her right hand up as if she was about to knock on the door. “Vicki,” I say with a smirk.

“Ryder?” She gasps. “What are you …?”

I look over my shoulder at Bradley, and he still holds his glass in his right hand, eyes narrowed on me and nostrils flared. “Karma is a bitch, man,” I say, referring to Vicki. He has no idea what he has gotten in to with that woman. Then I walk out, unable to contain my laughter.

ASHLYN

“You’re kidding?” Becca gasps.

“No,” I say with a giddy laugh. “We’re having a baby.” God, that sounds so crazy to say. I still can’t believe it.

She jumps up from the couch and runs toward me, hugging me tightly.

Ryder and I spent all night last night going back and forth on whether we should tell anyone about the baby. I did some research on pregnancy while we laid in bed, and it said most miscarriages happen within the first twelve weeks. I told Ryder we should wait until we crossed that point just in case. He shut the laptop on me and said I had read enough. And then he brought up another good point. Vicki already knew, which meant his mom probably knew. And we had told his father yesterday when he came in and found me a bawling mess. And I wanted to be the one to tell Becca. She is my best friend, after all. So, not wanting to chance someone else beating me to it, we called them over tonight after Ryder got home and told them the good news.

“Congratulations, man,” Jaycent says, hugging his friend and slapping him on the back.

Ryder pulls away smiling, and I can’t help but stare at the way his green eyes light up. I think back to the way he danced with the little girl at the wedding and how natural he looked. He’s gonna be a great father. He looks so proud. “I hope you plan on selling baby clothes in your store, Becca,” Ryder tells her.

“Store?” I ask confused.

She bites her bottom lip nervously. “I’m opening up a store here in Manhattan.”

I smile. “That’s awesome.”

Jaycent throws his arm over her shoulder and has that same smile Ryder wears. “She’s being modest.” He kisses her on the cheek. “For every article sold, she is going to donate one to a homeless shelter,” he beams.

Tears come to my eyes, and my throat tightens. Becca’s face falls. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you …”

I shake my head. “It’s not that.” Trying to finish, I take a deep breath, but the tears just come faster.

Ryder pulls me to his chest, and I can feel it vibrate against mine as he tries to hold in his laughter before he says, “Pregnancy hormones.”

They all laugh, and I slap his arm. He just laughs harder and then kisses me on the head. “I think this is a good time,” Ryder says excitedly.

I pull away, unable to contain my laughter. “I agree, babe.”

Jaycent and Becca look at one another and then back at us. “Something else you guys wanna tell us?”

Ryder claps his hand and says, “We have a surprise for you.”

“Go get it,” I say, pushing on his arm. I’m so giddy.

Ryder leaves our living room, and they look at each other nervously. And I say, “You’re gonna love it.”

“Love what?” Becca asks just as Ryder reenters the living room.

He holds a big cage in his hands covered with a pink blanket. “What the hell is that?” Jaycent asks.

Ryder sets it down on the floor and takes a step back. “Well, open it.”

They seem a little nervous, but after a long second, Becca reaches down and pulls off the pink blanket.

“SURPRISE!” Ryder and I both say.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Jaycent says and then cracks up laughing.

“I don’t understand.” Becca looks back and forth between Ryder and Jaycent.

Jaycent leans down and opens the cage and then picks up the floppy eared bunny. “It’s Nibbles!” I say.

“She’s alive and well, and she’s all yours,” Ryder says, nodding his head at them, having way too much fun.

I laugh. “I gotta say, Jaycent, you put on a good show even though I was mad at the time.”

They didn’t stay long after that, leaving us alone in our apartment. We stand in the entryway after telling them bye, and I step to him. He places his arms around me and leans his head against my forehead, and I let out a long sigh. “We’re having a baby.” It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud to him and not panicked.

“How do you feel about that?”

My heart pounds against his chest, and I know he can feel it. “Terrified,” I admit.

“Don’t be,” he whispers. “I’m going to take care of you both.”

I let out a shaky breath. “You’re too good to me.”

“I love you,” he says, pressing his lips to mine.

**

“Shit!” I curse while I stand in the closet trying to find something to wear. Ryder’s side looks well put together. He has his button ups hung in order by color. His jackets and slacks are mainly gray and black, also done by color.

My side looks like a disaster. I even have clothes on the floor. I decide on a black and white dress. Can’t go wrong with black and white.

I hurry to dress and try to flat iron my curly hair, but it’s no use. So instead of wearing it down, I put it up in a tight bun. Being pregnant has already changed my schedule, halting my life for about thirty minutes this morning while I hovered around the toilet. Ryder tried to help me out, but I ended up yelling at him to get the hell out and just go to work. Having the man you love watch you vomit isn’t how you want him to see you first thing in the morning.

So I got a late start.

I just step out the front door of the Q’s and see Milton opening the back door for me when my phone rings. “Hey, babe,” I say, sliding in.

“Hey,” he says softly.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, knowing his tone is off.

He lets out a long sigh. “I’ve been thinking.”

Panic rises. Has he changed his mind about the baby? “And?”

“You don’t have to work.”

I let out a breath. “Ryder—”

“Just hear me out,” he interrupts me. “I don’t want you to work.”

My brows rise. “Are you saying I can’t work?”

“No. That’s not what I mean.” He sighs. “I just …”

“Ryder, I want a career.”

He’s silent for a moment. “I know, it’s just …” His work phone rings in the background, and he tells me he’ll call me back.

My interview was shit! I sat in there talking to the older man about how I had worked at Talia’s and my college degree. He didn’t seem to care much about my potential. And I really didn’t care. Ryder’s words just kept bouncing around in my head.

He didn’t want me to work.

It didn’t take a scientist to know why. Nannies raised him and Becca. He doesn’t want that for his children, and I understood that. I don’t want them raised by nannies either. But women do it all the time—have children and a career—so why can’t I?

When I arrived back at our apartment, I called the one person who could give me the only advice that mattered.

She answered on the first ring. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hey, honey,” she says excitedly. “How is your day going?”

Fucking pregnancy hormones have tears building in my eyes. Shit, I’m only eight weeks into it. How will I be by the time I’m eight months?

“Honey?” she asks, and her voice is now full of concern. “What’s wrong?”

A dam breaks. “I’m pregnant.” I couldn’t stop. I told her about me and Ryder’s breakup, and then how I got pregnant and what Bradley had done.

“Next time I see him, I’m gonna hit him with a shovel,” she snaps, making me laugh. Then her tone changes. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m nauseated all the time. And I can’t stop crying over everything,”

She gives a little laugh. “Oh, pregnancy takes over your body, and you’re along for the ride.” She makes a joke, and I laugh.

“Can I ask you a question?”“Of course.”

“Did you ever want to quit your job and stay home with me?”

She’s quiet for a long time, and I look at my phone to make sure she’s still on the other end. Finally, she speaks. “I took six months off when I had you.”

“You did?” I ask not knowing that.

“Yes. Your memaw was sick.” My father’s mother. “And we were paying for her in-home care. I had every intention of quitting when I got pregnant with you. After what had happened to Henry, I didn’t want you out of my sight. But staying home just wasn’t in the cards for us.”

“Ryder wants me to stay home. But I’ve always seen myself as a woman who had a career and could also have a family.”

“Honey, you don’t have to have a career to be considered a hard-working woman. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. And women who are stay-at-home mothers aren’t any less of a woman than ones who have a career and children.” She sighs. “Did you call to ask my opinion on the matter?”

“Yes.”

“Put the career on hold. It will always be there, honey. That degree you got isn’t going anywhere. But your child? I know nine months seems so far away, but it will be here before you know it. And then every year just goes by faster and faster. Then they’re graduating college and moving far away from you.” I hear her sniff. “My advice is to be a mother and a wife first. There will always be jobs available.”