chapter eight
Do not think about Lucia.
Do not think about Lucia lying naked in bed.
Not that Noah knew whether Lucia slept naked or not, but either way, it didn't matter to his dick. Damn thing hadn’t gone down since he’d gotten a taste of her.
He was such an idiot. He should have never kissed her. Because once that line was crossed, there was no going back. No pretending. She'd been there, she’d felt the desperation he had to keep touching her, to keep holding her, pressing his body into hers. It was unmistakable. His only option right now was to attempt to bring them back to normal. To before.
His dick twitched against his thigh as if to say, yeah, good luck with that. He groaned and turned onto his side, flipping the pillow under his head. Problem was, as big as the couch was, it was still just a smidge too short. His feet were dangling off the edge. The blanket he’d pulled out of the linen closet covered his feet but not all of his chest. And dammit, he usually slept naked. Somehow, he didn't think that was going to fly with Lucia in the next room. Noah rolled over again and stared at the ceiling.
How did you end up here?
Because you insisted you knew best.
He’d intruded on her privacy. He knew it. And the thing was, he wasn't sorry. He’d been keeping watch over her for years. Keeping her safe. Keeping her from finding out about ORUS. About Rafe. About himself. Allowing her to keep her air of innocence for as long as possible. Allowing her to live the kind of life that was only possible when you were oblivious.
But now, when there might be real danger, he had no idea how the hell he was going to keep her safe. He had no idea why she had started digging into Rafe’s death again. Or maybe she’d never stopped wanting answers. He wasn't even sure exactly what she’d found. Suddenly her date with Brent made sense. Whatever she'd asked the pencil pusher to look up, someone didn't want her asking questions about it.
He had Matthias digging for any traces of that company name she’d given him, but so far he hadn't found anything. He just prayed that whatever she was doing, he could still keep her safe. She was messing in some dangerous waters, and he couldn’t let her get too close to the man that he'd been before. Because then she would be in real danger.
Noah considered all the things he’d kept from her for years. How would she react if she knew the truth? If she was pissed off now, he could only imagine how she would feel about him then. She would run out of his life and never look back.
He shook his head as if he could dislodge the unsettling thought. He couldn’t allow that to ever happen. If she knew what he was, the kind of man he was, the things he’d done, she would never speak to him again. She would never even look at him. Right now, she was mad. She was pissed off. But she would eventually see that he had her best interest at heart.
If she found out the truth, it would be over.
There would be no more family dinners at the DeMarco house anymore. No welcoming arms, even when she was irritated with him. It would be over. The one constant in his life since he was fifteen, gone.
After what he’d done, he deserved worse. But he didn’t want to lose her. That could never happen. He wouldn't let it happen.
In a perfect world, one where he wasn't a natural born killer, he could have a girl like that. Sweet. Sunshine practically pouring out of her. A completely normal life filled with all those silly things that couples did. Brunches at Bryant Park, walks around the city talking about nothing, horseback riding in Central Park. All that stuff he’d always seen as cheesy and stupid. But cheesy or not, they were things he would never have. That was family. That was love.
That's not for you.
No. He knew that. He’d learned that lesson a long time ago.
From her bedroom, he heard a low buzzing noise, kind of like her phone was ringing. He immediately rolled over to his side, and picked up his phone off of her coffee table. He’d paired their phones together. Yes, without her knowledge, but it was for her own good. Whatever, he’d eat guilt on this one. But there were no incoming calls, or text messages. What the hell?
When he rolled back to his side and his dick dropped again, he suddenly had a very good idea of exactly what she was doing in there. And it made his blood run hot. His muscles bunched as he tried to force his brain to think of anything other than Lucia using that monster dildo on herself. Legs splayed wide, eyes rolled back in her head, panting.
No. Stop it now.
He couldn't have her, so he wasn't thinking about her like that. That was just a recipe for — Jesus Christ. The buzzing was still going on.
With a growl, he called out, "You’d better not be using that monster vibrator in there. You know I can hear it."
Immediately the buzzing stopped. She was silent. Quiet as a church mouse. Her happy drawer went against everything in his mind of exactly who Lucia was. The problem was that in a twisted way, that knowledge only made her way more interesting. And even more damn untouchable. With a frustrated moan, he sat up.
"Hey, DeMarco. Just wondering, does that thing stand up and tap dance too? Inquiring minds and all that."
Yeah, he was giving her shit. Being an asshole. But he needed her to stop using that thing. It was bad enough he kept thinking of all the myriad ways he could use it on her. Those dirty thoughts weren’t going to help either of them sleep.
He called out again. "What's the matter? Pussy got your tongue?"
Shit. His brain was working against him. Now all he could do was think about his tongue on her p—never mind all that.
"You know, I hear you can go blind if you use those things too much."
Noah lay back against the pillow and smiled into the darkness when he heard one of her drawers slam shut.
If he wasn't getting any sleep tonight because of his raging erection, then neither was she.
Number of attempted orgasms: 1.
Number of setting changes on battery-operated boyfriend: 4.
Number of hours of sleep obtained: 0.
Number of attempts to stop thinking about Noah: Infinite.
Lucia had slept like a monkey’s ass, and her mood was not made any better by Noah with his tight-shirted workout that morning. She managed to stumble out of her room, bleary-eyed and in desperate need of coffee, only to find him in work out gear doing push-ups in her living room. Beads of sweat clung to his hair and his muscles were clearly defined under his clothes. And the worst part was, he looked—delicious.
There, she said it. He looked amazing. Sweat had molded the T-shirt to his ridiculous body. She may or may not have spent a good couple of minutes counting his abs. Or licking them in her mind.
No. Stop it. Noah is the devil. She hated him. Okay, so not exactly hated, but he pissed her off like no other.
And infuriatingly, the asshole totally caught her staring. Like a man with too much sex appeal for his own good, he’d given her one of his shameless cocky grins. As if to say, ‘Yeah, I know what I look like. Were you dreaming about this last night?’
She’d have had no other choice but to say ‘Hell yes.’ She had been thinking about him. And no, it hadn’t gotten her anywhere. Except to Frustration City.
By the time she made it into the office after being jostled on the subway for thirty minutes, she was ready to rip someone’s head off. This morning, Matthias had been her escort, and he’d been perturbed at her refusal to get into the SUV. But he’d had no choice but to follow her onto the subway. After all, what was he going to do, throw her over his shoulder? First, he wasn’t the type. Unlike the others who worked at Blake Security, he wasn’t a caveman. She wondered about him sometimes. There was no way Noah would have sent him with her if he didn't know how to protect her.
Luckily, JJ was the first person in her shoebox of an office. Her best friend was guaranteed to put a smile on her face.
"Morning sunshine. You excited? I’m so stoked about my first fashion week. I know you've been to a couple of these now with Adriana, but I can't wait. I get to sit in on the final strategy meeting for hair and make-up. I guess you're getting the final model list today?"
Lucia got it. JJ was excited. After fashion school, JJ had been apprenticed to a makeup artist. Lucia had managed to score a gig here at Adriana Patterson Fashions. When JJ had been looking for change, Lucia recommended her. It was awesome getting to work with her best friend, but not first thing in the morning before her second cup of coffee and after a night of no sleep. JJ was just far too chipper for eight o'clock in the morning.
"Yeah, sounds great."
"What’s up? You’re extra grumpy today."
The guilt hit Lucia hard. "Sorry. It's not your fault. It’s freaking Noah."
JJ sat on the edge of her desk. "What? The strippers were a perfect idea. Did they not show?"
Lucia groaned. "Oh, they showed all right. Noah was pissed. And the company sent me a video recording of them singing happy birthday. I have digital proof of Noah at the center of a confetti storm. That part is awesome. What’s not so awesome is Noah in overprotective mode."
JJ laughed. "What? Did he decide that you are somehow dating one of the strippers, and he wanted you for himself?"
Lucia rolled her eyes and shook her head. "That's not why he does those things. He thinks he's protecting me. What he’s really doing is being an ass. I don't have a father or big brother anymore. I don't need him volunteering."
JJ sighed. "I have told you a million times that Noah isn’t volunteering as tribute. He does this shit because he wants you. Sooner or later you’re going to need to see that. But I digress. What’s his problem this time?"
Lucia checked the time and stood. "I need to go get Adriana’s coffee. Walk with me and I’ll fill you in?"
"Yep, let me get my purse."
They headed out of the building toward the heart of Soho. Adriana had a very specific coffee order that only one coffee cart vendor in the city carried. And he didn't open until 8:30. So this was part of the routine. What was not part of the routine was JJ peppering questions about what Noah was doing at her place. Or the shadow she knew had to be following her.
"Okay, you know how I've been looking into the situation around how Rafe died?"
JJ nodded. “Yeah, I remember you said that you might've found out who owned the house right? That was Brent right? The records guy? He gave you the information.”
Lucia nodded. "Yeah, he gave me what I was looking for, and I sent it off to Matthias to look into on the lowdown for me. But then a couple of days later, I got a letter in the mail telling me to stop digging."
JJ stopped dead in her tracks. "Excuse me? And is there a reason you don't have an armed escort right now? Why aren’t the cops following you around? You know, skulking behind corners trying to act like hidden bodyguards? Ooh, even better, a young Kevin Costner?"
Lucia dragged her along. "I swear to God you sound just like him. I don't need a bodyguard. Anyway, once Noah found out that I’d asked Matthias for help and then got this note, he insisted that he was moving in. So, there he was this morning, working out or whatever, and looking hot in a T-shirt."
JJ grinned. "Oh, I see. You're getting a little hot and bothered under that buttoned up collar. That’s totally normal. And you realize he's doing it on purpose right?"
Lucia frowned. "What?"
“Honey, the guy has a gym at his place. As if he needs to work out in your tiny ass living room. Besides, if he’s so worried about you, why didn't he send you with an armed guard to protect your ass?"
Lucia groaned. “Who says he didn't?”
They slowed as they reached the coffee cart and took their place in line. She angled her head to the northwest where a black SUV sat, with Jonas in the driver’s seat. He winked at her.
She rolled her eyes and turned back to JJ. "Jonas is on duty this morning. He’s been following us since we left the office. Matthias accompanied me on the subway because I refused to sit with Jonas in the car. So I do have armed bodyguards. I just don't want them."
JJ laughed. "Somehow, this is not the hot sexy bodyguard scenario I was picturing in my head. I mean, they are sexy as hell, but I was picturing more of you and Noah in a forced proximity kind of thing."
Lucia rolled her eyes.
"So, what are you going to do? I mean are you going to stop looking into Rafe’s death?"
Lucia shrugged. "Right now I don't really feel like I have a choice. Noah could help. He has resources. But he doesn't want me digging into any of that stuff. Keeps telling me if I go digging, I might find things I don't want to know.”
“Maybe he has a point, sweetie.”
“How can he say that to me? To be quiet and not worry my pretty little head? At the same time, whatever my brother was working on, he was killed because of it. I still have nightmares. So for now, I'm letting it go. Because all I've ever wanted is normalcy. And if someone doesn't want me to look, it may be a good idea to lay low for a while."
JJ’s eyes went wide. "So you're listening to Noah for once?"
Lucia smacked her friend on the arm. "If you tell him, I swear to God I will shave you bald."
JJ laughed. "Whatever. I could totally pull off a pixie cut. Okay, look. Maybe you need a night out to forget about all this stuff for a bit."
"How? I'm not going to be allowed to go anywhere without my oversized baboons following me. They’ll never let me out of their sight. Let alone go somewhere that's going to be hyper crowded. They’ll probably escort me right back to my place tonight. No detours allowed."
JJ scoffed. "C’mon, it's Friday night. And I feel all right."
Lucia laughed "I wish. But even if I could shake them, they have this uncanny way of always finding me. They’re probably tracking my phone."
JJ chewed her bottom lip as she thought it through. "Well, what if you left your phone here? You don't need it while you’re with me. I have my phone. If anything weird happens, you can call Noah. He may not be too thrilled, but you're still perfectly safe with me."
Lucia considered the idea. Noah would be pissed. But he had bugged her place, so he deserved to have her give him a hard time.
"Okay, let's say we do it. Exactly how am I supposed to ditch Thing One and Thing Two? I see Jonas. But I know Matthias is around here somewhere. I just can't see him.”
JJ laughed. "You leave that to me.”
Lucia lifted her brow. "Why do I have a feeling that we’re going to get in trouble for this?”
“Oh, ye of little faith. You know the girl in Accounting, the one with the curly hair? She matches you enough in looks and height that if you change clothes, they'll follow her back to your place. Or at the very least follow her onto the subway. Which is just enough time for us to get into a cab and go party."
Lucia stared at JJ. She'd always loved her friend’s more adventurous side, but this…this was diabolical. "You think it'll work?"
JJ gave her brisk nod. “Noah and crew will never know what hit them."