THE FAMILY WAS gathering from every direction. The big house was brimming with joy, laughter, and the smell of his Ma’s cooking, reminding him of the days when they were young and every evening they had dinner together, even when they were busy.
It was a Sunday and Beatrice had asked for everyone to come because she wanted to speak to them.
From his position, Cull watched Monica bend over in front of the oven, giving him a flattering view of her backside in cut offs. His body reacted with a vengeance and he could barely breathe. After last night and almost giving in to his need, he’d tossed and turned all night wanting to throw caution to the wind and allow human nature to rule.
She stood up and placed the pan of taco shells on the sink. A gust of wind came in through the open window and caught strands of her hair that had fallen from her topknot, sending them swirling over her cheek. He clenched his hands into fists to keep himself from crossing the room and pulling her hair back. He wouldn’t stop there. He’d let out the silken mass and run his hands through it and kiss her neck. Then he’d admit to everyone that he had feelings for her. No, he wasn’t ready for that—wasn’t ready to be tortured by his brothers.
Would his family ever believe that she was an escort who could have played a role in the death of her lover? She fit in like she was meant to be a part of the family. Everyone liked her. He knew that all his brothers, sister, and sisters-in-law had a good instinct. Would they feel differently if they knew Monica’s history?
She filled each shell with seasoned meat and her tongue darted out as if she put all her effort into making the perfect tacos. She dropped one shell, squinted, then lifted her fingers to blow on them. That pretty pout puckered and he growled under his breath. He took a step with every intention of helping her, but a grip on his shoulder stopped him. He looked over into his father’s smiling face.
“We need to talk. On the back porch.” Bo pointed.
Giving Monica one last glance, he followed his pa. Outside they took a seat. “What’s up?”
“I found cigarette butts in the stables. Donny has been told twice not to smoke around the buildings and horses.”
Donny was one of the hands who had an issue with authority. “Did you speak to him?”
“Yeah, and he swears it wasn’t him this time.”
“Do you believe him?”
Bo shrugged a broad shoulder and the creases around his eyes looked deeper. “Not any farther than I can throw him. Yet, why would he risk his job? He has a young wife, kids, and he knows we don’t have any choice but to let him go. He’s been warned before and there are no second chances when he becomes a liability.”
“You need me to take care of it?” Cull hated firing people, but he also didn’t want anyone’s life, and his horses, put in harm’s way. Negligence like a burning cigarette dropped in the wrong spot could cost the ranch dearly.
“Nah, I’ll take care of it. I just wanted to run it by you first.” He stood. “We better get inside before we miss out on those tacos. Oh and be careful there, son.” Bo winked.
“In what?” Did Cull really need to ask what his father meant?
“You don’t have to act around me. She’s a good girl, but this could get very complicated.” Bo patted his back. “Follow your instincts. You have good ones.”
Cull hadn’t told anyone anything, but his father had always been perceptive.
The table was already set with many of their favorites when they walked into the dining room. Cheese quesadillas. Mac and cheese. Corn on the cob. Fresh cut watermelon. And when Monica brought the pan of tacos to place in the center of the table, their gazes naturally met. She almost dropped the pan and Zander caught it. “Ouch. That’s hot!”
“Oops. Sorry,” she muttered and quickly went back into the kitchen.
Cull pulled out his chair and sat down, then reached for a triangle of watermelon and bit into the juicy fruit. He then hurried to fill his plate with the feast, but his eyes stayed on Monica when she sat down.
“Damn, bro, that’s my hand,” Nix growled.
Cull realized he’d grabbed his brother’s hand instead of a taco. “Sorry.”
Lowering his eyes, Cull had to stop staring at Monica who was sitting across the table, two seats down. Who would have believed when he’d first brought her here that she’d be sitting at the Cade clan’s table? She wouldn’t be the first stranger they’d entertained, but she was different. A whole helluva lot different.
Biting into the corn, he sprayed his brothers who were sitting on each side of him. Zander wiped his cheek. “Hey, Ma. Cull’s a messy eater.”
Beatrice chuckled. “It takes one to know one.”
“She’s right, sweetie.” Wynn patted him on the shoulder. “You can’t call out Cull, not when I just witnessed you eat a taco in two bites.”
The clan laughed.
And so did Monica. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes lit like diamonds. What he wouldn’t give to make her smile like that.
“I haven’t had a good meal like this in so lo—” Kace stopped when Tyler snapped up her brow. “I mean, outside of Tyler’s food of course.”
She kissed his cheek. “I agree. Mom Beatrice is the best cook.”
“Hey, I can’t take all the credit. I’ve had help from Monica and she’s an amazing cook too.” Beatrice patted Monica’s hand. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed her.”
“I can do a few things, but you, Beatrice, have shown me a lot in the kitchen,” Monica said.
Cull felt his body soften. Would he ever find another woman who fit in so well?
Phoenix placed an ear of corn on his wife’s plate and she patted his shoulder. “Thank you, baby.”
“No problem.” He kissed the tip of Ria’s nose and she moved her hands along the edge of the plate, feeling for the fork.
Cull watched with admiration as all his brothers pampered their wives. They were happy, and he was happy for them, but for the first time he felt a void that he’d never witnessed before. He wasn’t quite sure how to read his emotions, but there was a twinge in chest, right over his heart.
Kiersten caught Cull’s gaze from across the table and she gave him a knowing wink. He cleared his throat and dropped his attention to his plate. He brought a taco to his mouth and bit into the crunchy goodness, chewing thoughtfully.
Beatrice tinked her fork against her crystal glass. “I’m sorry that I asked for you to leave my grandbabies with a sitter,” she said from the head of the table. “I just felt it was right that we met with just the adults today.”
“We wanted to speak to you alone today,” Bo said looking ten years older than he normally did. This made Cull’s heart sink.
“What are you two planning? Don’t tell me you’re selling the house and land,” Nix said with a grunt.
“Or moving to Florida. You’re not the beach type,” Phoenix teased.
Bo sat silently—more quiet than usual.
“We’re not selling the land and we’re definitely not moving,” Beatrice assured them. “There is something that I need to tell you though. I want five minutes to explain before any of you comment, judge, or interact. Okay?”
They nodded in unison like a classroom of well-behaving kids.
She met the gaze of her husband a mere second before looking at each of her family members. “It’s nothing to be concerned about. I promise.”
“Bea…,” Bo said softly
“Bo,” she responded with a shake of her head. “I went in to see my doctor for a routine checkup. While I was there, he heard something…well, something that was off I guess…in my heart. He then scheduled me for a few tests.”
“You’ve already had these tests?” Kiersten asked.
Beatrice nodded. “Yes.”
“And you didn’t think to tell us?” Cull exhaled loudly.
“I didn’t want anyone to worry,” his Ma responded.
“She’s always trying to protect others and ends up neglecting herself,” Bo grumbled.
“Oh, stop that, husband.”
“It’s true,” Bo replied.
“What did the doc say, Ma?” Kace asked.
The older woman clasped her hands tightly. “I have what is called coronary microvascular disease.”
Cull dropped his fork and it dinged against his plate. “That’s in the smaller vessels of the heart, right?”
Beatrice nodded. “Yes, son.”
“Ma, how do they treat it?” Zander asked. “There is a treatment, right?”
“It’s treatable with prescriptions and a daily aspirin,” Beatrice said.
“And rest. Don’t forget that, Bea,” Bo said pointedly. “Doc said you needed rest.”
“Pfft. I’ll rest when I’m dead.” Beatrice waved a hand through the air as if she could wipe away her husband’s words.
“If you keep going the way you do, that’ll be sooner than you think.” Bo shook his head, pushed back his chair and stomped from the room.
Beatrice frowned. “Don’t mind him. He’s worried, and you know how he gets when he’s concerned.” She patted Nix’s hand who was sitting next to her. “None of you worry, you hear? I’m not in any pain and the worst thing will be giving up those lemon cookies I sneak each day.” She laughed.
Although his mother put up a brave front, Cull understood how detrimental heart disease could be, especially for someone his mother’s age.
Kiersten stood, went to Beatrice and hugged her tightly.
“We’ll help out more around here,” Melly said.
“That’s right,” Ria chimed in.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You have your own families to worry about, and my grandbabies that are on the way. This old woman will be just fine. God has granted me a good life,” Beatrice said proudly. “Each of you make me so proud.”
Cull rubbed the bridge of his nose, keeping his emotions in order. He was never one to show a break in the link of control, although he worried about his mother…and his father. No child wants to think that a parent would not be around forever. Needing to gather himself, he snuck away from the table while everyone was discussing what they could do to help.
****
Dusk colored the landscape hues of pink, purple and orange as Monica made her way toward the stables where she hoped she would find Cull. Although he’d made a quiet escape from the table, she’d seen him go and wondered if he needed a friend after hearing the news about his mother. After helping with the dishes, she snuck off too.
Just as she’d suspected, he was standing in the arena with Mr. Big. He didn’t hear her come up to the rail and she stood watching him for a few minutes. He had the horse’s reins and was leading him around the enclosure. Mr. Big seemed willing, but his ears were drawn back and his tail was stiff. After a few minutes, Cull removed the reins and headed for the fence. His broad shoulders were slumped some.
“You okay?” she asked.
He lifted his chin and met her gaze. “I’m okay.”
“I thought maybe you could use some company.” She leaned her arms on the top rail.
“I just needed some time,” he said.
He climbed over the fence and joined her. “Mr. Big doing any better?” In such a short time she’d come to love the horse.
“He has a stubborn streak a mile long, but we’ll get where we need to be.”
“I know you’re worried about your mom. She is a strong and amazing woman. She’ll get through this.”
He laid his cheek on his clasped hands, his eyes were on her in such a way that she felt his stare all the way into the center of her bones. Although she knew he could do this to her, she hadn’t quite gotten used to how he still affected her.
“True, she is, but I guess we all believe our parents are superhuman and will always be around,” he admitted.
“She has her family. That makes her a very lucky woman.”
He chuckled. “I think of all the hell we’ve put her through. She says every gray hair she owns is one day of worry over us kids.”
“It’s a parent’s job to worry whether they have one child or a dozen.”
“I’m sure she often wished she’d had girls instead of boys.”
“You heard her. Each of you make her proud. You’ve all made me understand how wonderful it would be to have a large family. To live on a ranch like this, have children, watch them grow and have babies of their own.” She inhaled deeply. “Wow. That’s a mouthful.”
“Are you being serious?”
“Yes, I am. What about you, Cull? Don’t you think of your future? I know you have plans for a ranch, but who will you share the land with? Will it mean as much if you don’t have a legacy?”
He scratched his temple with his thumbnail. “I guess I haven’t thought much about family, at least not until recently.”
“Maybe you’re just waiting for the right somebody to come along.” Her throat constricted.
Several expressions flickered over his face before he said, “Yeah, maybe so.”
“Do you think I was married before?” Her eyes were pulled toward her fourth finger on her left hand. She had a hard time imagining wearing a diamond, and yet she kept getting images of a ring.
“Yes, I can imagine that it’s possible, but at least you aren’t now.” He winked.
“Really? And how do you know that?”
He blinked. “I’m guessing a husband would be looking for you.”
She nodded. “There’s not a husband. A woman’s instinct would tell her if her heart belonged to someone.” Should she tell him that she’d been envisioning a man? A stranger? When this stranger monopolized her thoughts, she didn’t feel any love or kindness. Until she was certain where he fit into her life she didn’t need to say anything.
He turned and leaned his back against the rail. His eyes were pensive, and his mouth was curved into a lopsided grin making him look much younger. “I guess you’re right.” He hooked his thumbs in his front pockets.
“I think there comes a point we all think of who we’ll be when we’re older. Who will be beside us. Neither one us are getting any younger. How old are you?”
He swiped the backs of his knuckles down his whiskered jaw and the scraping sound vibrated her inner thighs. She swallowed hard, wondering what that jaw would feel like on her sensitive skin. “Young enough to live on the edge and old enough to know better.”
She laughed. “Good answer.”
“He pushed the brim of his hat up on his forehead. “The ranch is doing you good. You have color to your cheeks and your eyes are bright.”
She held the top tail and leaned back. “There’s just something about fresh air and good-looking cowboys.” His gaze reached in and tickled her senses.
“There’s just something about those shorts and boots.” He swept his gaze down her and back up, grinning widely. “I think you’re a country girl at heart. Give this some time and you’re going to be on the back of Mr. Big here riding him like the wind.”
“Uh…no, of course not.” She felt her cheeks flame. “I’ve never ridden.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yeah, pretty sure.” She sighed. “You must think I’m pretty ridiculous. I mean, shouldn’t I be more concerned about my memory loss?”
“Don’t do that,” he said softly. She lifted her gaze, feeling her heart skip several beats. “You’re not ridiculous.” She jerked when he reached over and slid the tip of one finger along her cheek, sending a ripple of electrical current through her bloodstream.
“You always make me feel…” What? “Like I’m okay.”
He shifted to stand in front of her. “You are okay. I’ll make sure of that. We all lose our way at times and that’s where you’re at. You’ve lost your path, but sometimes that’s what a person needs to see life. They need a wake-up call to get back on the right journey. I know you have your own life out there, but right here, in this moment, you belong here. With the Cades. With me.”
There was a safety in his words that washed over her like a baptism. Without thinking, only feeling, she took the short step that brought her close and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted his arms around her waist and nuzzled his nose in her hair. She laid her cheek on his shoulders as he tangled one hand through her hair, kissing her on top of the head. “How did I ever get so lucky to be here. To have you save me? Anyone could have happened.”
He kissed her temple, her cheek, her forehead and she understood he was only comforting her, but something triggered deep inside her. If she learned nothing of this situation it was that life was too short to not live fully. To not follow one’s heart. She wanted Cull...no, needed him. If she awoke tomorrow with all her memories back, she wanted to know what it was like to lie naked in the arms of the cowboy standing before her.
“I could have died in that fire,” she whispered. “I’m so glad that you were there to help me. I haven’t been alone because of you.”