I wake up from a horrible nightmare. Nothing is right. Everything feels dreamlike in the worst way. It’s like I’m floating in space, but there’s no tether to keep me grounded. It’s just endless floating, endless blackness. Endless death. I look for my space suit, but there’s nothing on my body. That’s when I realize that I can’t breathe.

I wake up, choking on air. I grasp at my throat. “No!” I scream, sucking in air, but it feels like it’s not going in my body. Finally, I’m fully awake and I can breathe, although it’s panicked. “Whoa, whoa!” a deep voice says. I turn and there’s Marshall. “You okay?”

“What the fuck!” I scream. “Where am I? Am I at home?”

“You’re at my place,” he says, running his hands down my back to calm me down. He holds me close and I can feel his steady heartbeat. It is calming…

“How did I get here?” I ask, grasping at straws. I’m so fucking confused.

“You came over last night. You said you couldn’t sleep. Don’t you remember?” he asks, looking very concerned at me.

“Oh.” I finally remember now. All of last night’s memories trickle in. That’s right. He called me after the interrogation process. I asked to come over so I could learn more, but I must have fallen asleep pretty damn fast.

“I remember,” I say, nodding. “Sorry, I just had a nightmare or something. Jesus.”

“What happened?” he asks me. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, it was just like… I couldn’t breathe. Not sure what that was about,” I say, closing my eyes again and falling back on the bed. It’s light outside. My guess is that we slept in a bit.

“Vi, I’m sorry. You need anything, a Xanax or something?” he smiles a little.

“You just carry Xanax with you?” I ask him.

“You never know when you might need one,” he shrugs.

“Bad cop. Bad,” I mumble.

“It’s harmless,” he says. “Here, I’ll just get you some water. Sound good?”

“Sounds great,” I say, pushing myself out of bed as well.

“I think we’re getting somewhere with this guy,” he says to me. He hands me a glass of ice-cold water and it feels good as it hits the back of my throat. Still, there’s no taste in my mouth. I feel so numb.

“What do you mean? You think you’re getting closer to getting the other two?” I ask.

“We gave him 48 hours to sign the deal. If he signs, he’ll get 5-10 years maximum,” he says, smiling.

“And if he doesn’t?” I ask, knowing that Elroy is weak. He’ll probably take the fucking deal. I need to come up with a better plan. I need to keep aware.

“Ha, if he doesn’t… well, he’ll be locked away for a long time. Nearly his whole damn life. They all took a hell of a lot of money,” he says. “It’s a federal crime. You don’t fuck with the government, especially not in the state of Texas.”

“He’ll take the deal,” I suddenly say.

“What makes you so sure?” he asks me, looking at me carefully.

“Why wouldn’t he?” I ask him. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Depends on how much money I had,” he laughs. “If I had a rich family, I’d tell them to get me a good lawyer. I’m not a snitch. I couldn’t give a partner’s life up that easy.”

“Hm,” I shuffle and sit back down. “Well, it’s kind of exciting isn’t it?”

“It is,” he smiles again. “But it’s almost over.”

“What’ll happen to the rest of them?” I ask, feeling the pain in my stomach start to grow. I’m fucked. I’m done for. And after Marshall’s heart breaks into a million pieces, he’ll ask for the harshest sentence on me.

“No deal for them. We’ve asked them to come forward plenty of times on the news. They had their chance. They’ll go away until they’re old and wrinkly,” he says.

“Seems kind of… harsh,” I admit.

“The law is pretty harsh sometimes,” he agrees. “That’s why you don’t break it.”

He makes me sick. “Let me lose myself in you,” he says, not too long after, as he looks into my eyes. I blush, but I don’t feel that way about him right now. Every fucking time I look at him, I feel disgusted. I feel hopeless. How could I let him touch me now?

“I don’t feel that good,” I tell him. “I’m fine to stay, but I’m having some issues.”

“Period?” he asks, the dumbass.

“Yeah,” I frown. “Takes a lot out of me.”

“I don’t mind it,” he says, putting his hand on my leg. I close my eyes with annoyance.

“Well, I do.” I move his hand away. “Sorry, I’m just really not in the mood.”

“What the hell did I do?” he asks, pacing around the room, showing his true cop behavior. “Do I deserve this? All I’ve done is be nice to you.”

Yes, you do deserve this, asshole. You’ve ruined everything. All my plans are now fucked because of you. “That doesn’t mean you get to do anything you want, you know,” I say, standing up.

He groans loudly. “Cool,” he says. “I see how it is. So you’re just going to be in one your moods again. Fucking great.”

“You know what? You’re a real asshole sometimes, Marshall. I think I’m going to take off. For good,” I say, feeling light headed. I need to be by myself. I need to get the fuck away from him for a while.

“Great! I hope you leave. I hope we never even speak again,” he says.

“Okay then,” I find myself reaching for his door handle. He walks after me and touches my arm. “Don’t you touch me,” I say, instinctually. “I need to leave. Now.”

“Fine,” he relaxes his hands. He wasn’t going to hurt me. I know that. But I need to leave and he needs to let me. “Sorry,” he says.

“Bye, Marshall,” I mutter, closing the door gently. Now begins the road to the end of life as I know it.