Accompanying song:

 

 

 

 

“No …” I whisper, tears building in my eyes. I struggle to keep my hands on my head. I want to run, run, run, run!

“Stay put.” The knife pushes against my back, making me suddenly aware of the fact that I am in a dangerous position right now. He has all the power, a knife that could slice me in half, and he can do with me as he pleases. Even let other men abuse me … No.

“Please …” I whimper, aware of the fact that Sebastian might not be the only one looking at my naked body.

“Don’t worry, Miss Carrigan. Nobody is going to hurt you if you listen and do as you are asked.”

“I don’t want anyone but you, Mister Brand,” I say, terror making my body tremble.

“Good … you should be doing everything for me.”

“I thought this was just you and me,” I say.

“Did I say we were alone?”

“I assumed we were.”

“You should never assume, Miss Carrigan.”

He walks away and the deafening silence left behind is overbearing. All-consuming. Tearing me apart.

“Get down on your knees.”

His voice echoes in this room, coming from left, or right … I can’t tell. He’s further away than I thought, and it scares the living hell out of me, because it means this room is big. Where am I? What’s in here? Are there really people in here, watching me? Will he really do this to me?

“Did you not hear me, Miss? Get. Down. On. Your. Knees.”

Swallowing away the lump in my throat, I go to my knees and sit down on the back of my heels.

“Down. Your head should be touching the ground, Miss Carrigan.”

Tears sting my eyes, but I blink them away as I perch myself up and lower my head. My ass is pointing toward the ceiling. Bare. Butt naked. For God knows who to see.

I feel violated.

Like I’ve just been skewered with that very knife he threatens me with.

Who is this man? What has he become? Is this who he’s really been all along, or is this just another test?

“Hands under your body. Spread your legs.”

I have to think about it for a second, but when I realize what he wants me to do, I shiver. My hands reach between my legs. I know whomever is watching me can see my open pussy pointed straight at them.

“Touch yourself. Make yourself wet.” Sebastian’s voice seethes with bitterness. I feel empty, devoid of emotion, as I slide my fingers up and down my pussy. I try not to think about anything because I’m afraid it will push me over the edge. I can’t run. I can’t hide. The knife in his hand holds all the power. In this moment in time, I’m not even sure he would spare me.

Such a turnaround—I once believed I could trust him and that he was my savior.

Now, I’m not so sure anymore.

I work on my pussy and my clit, circling and slipping until I feel it thump under my hand. I don’t want it to, but my body reacts to my touch. I hear the sound of wood scraping along the floor. My senses go on high alert. Something is positioned close to my ass, but I keep going, not wanting to anger him. I know that to survive I must do what’s asked of me, even if it is against my own will.

“Such a nice, round ass,” Sebastian says. He’s seated right behind me, I can hear it. “It is a sight to admire. Especially when you’re making yourself nice and wet for me.”

I don’t respond, flicking my fingers along my clit, trying not to get aroused. It’s too late.

He chuckles. “Are you enjoying yourself, Miss Carrigan?”

“No.”

“You should be. I am. I enjoy watching your fingers being coated in your wetness. I wonder how much wetter it can get. How much restraint do you think I have, Miss Carrigan? Watching you like this makes me hard … so hard I could fuck you until you’d scream my name in pleasure while I fill you with my cum.”

I swallow away the hotness that fills my throat, the sudden urge to come overpowering me. I will it all away. When I say nothing, a hard, hot whack against my ass makes me shriek. In my panic, I shoot up, but a foot on my back pushes me back down again. “Stay down. I didn’t say you could get up.”

“Please, don’t do this,” I say.

“But this is what you wanted, wasn’t it? My need for you? My hunger?” he huffs. “Well, you have it now, Miss. I hunger to see your pussy drip as you fuck yourself with your fingers. I desire to see your aching red ass as you fall apart before me, clenching your own pussy with wantonness, begging for a cock. Oh, yes, I will have what I need.”

I suck in a short breath, gathering courage. “What do you need, Mister Brand? Is it my dignity? My humanity? Do you thrive on seeing me humiliated?”

He laughs. “I thrive on your fear, Miss. Haven’t I told you that? Fear is what will push you away from me, which is exactly what I told you I wanted from the beginning. Now … I demand to watch you come like you saw me come in the library, Miss. You owe that to me.”

“You did that to yourself. I was merely there. It wasn’t my fault you did that in public. I owe you nothing.”

“Technically, you do. Remember that money?”

“Fuck you!” I spit out in a fit of rage. I don’t often swear, but he deserves it. “You gave that to me.”

Whack. Another painful hit on my ass. I hiss from the sizzle. It doesn’t hurt as much as it is arousing. I hate that.

“Behave, Miss Carrigan … I’ll give you plenty more if you do as you’re told.”

“After I’ve let you hit me, you mean.”

“This is a disciplinarian tool, Miss Carrigan. I use it to teach you a lesson.”

“Which is?”

“That if you disobey me, there are consequences. You thought I would go easy on you? Think again. I am not here to be your toy, Miss Carrigan. I will not be what you ask of me. I will show you what I take and give in return. You will be begging me to stop, and then you will realize how futile your search has been. That is what you should learn.”

“No …”

“Yes!”

Whatever he’s using to whip me comes down on my ass again. It hurts, so damn bad … and yet I can’t do anything about it. I feel powerless. And fearful. And so damn turned on … I don’t know what to do with it all.

“Now, since you were so keen on watching me come, I figured I’d do the same for you. You will come when I say. And maybe … if you beg me … I’ll give you my cum, as well.”

“You’re cruel,” I mutter, fighting the tears.

“Be glad that is all you’re seeing.”

I don’t know what to make of that comment. I couldn’t possibly see how it could get any worse than this.

“Now fuck yourself. Stick those fingers in your pussy and make it nice and wet. Make me hard, Miss Carrigan.”

Closing my eyes, I do as he says. I flick my nub and caress my pussy, trying to concentrate on the feeling instead of the possibility that there are men watching me. I don’t know how many there are … if any … but it’s not something I want to think about right now. I feel humiliated and betrayed, and I know this is exactly what he wants me to feel. This is his way of pushing me away. He’s challenging me, trying to force me to hate him. I refuse to give him that pleasure.

So I continue to stroke myself. It’s then that I hear a zipper opening.

“Do you hear that, Miss? It’s the sound of my cock being pleased by the sight of you. This is a very nice show you’re putting on here.”

I sigh as I work myself. This position is hard to maintain, with my head on the floor and my hands between my legs. There is no way for me to breathe properly, especially not through this mask. Air is precious and I feel like I’m partially out of it as I come closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy. It’s strange, knowing that there may be a bunch of dirty old men watching me right now, stroking their cocks as I pleasure myself. I feel dirty. So dirty. So … freakish. I’ve never felt this way before.

A sharp object pokes me in the ass, jolting my realization of the injuries he could inflict with it. I am vulnerable. I am being used. I agreed to come here. This is what he wants, but is this really what I want?

He sucks in a short breath. “I love seeing a blade caress a woman’s body. It’s such an exquisite sight, knowing that it could hurt and give pleasure at the same time. This knife reminds me that the power I have over you could easily mean your end. Do you think I would do that?”

“No, Mister Brand,” I say.

Something forces its way into my pussy. I squeal. Pain is everywhere. In me. In my head. At first, I think it is the blade. Then it starts to move, and I realize it’s actually his finger.

He intentionally made me think he stuck the blade in me. How brutal.

“Does my finger surprise you?”

“Yes …”

“I like playing games with your mind.”

“I know you do,” I scoff.

“Did you honestly think I would stab you with a knife? In your pussy?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore …”

“Keep that pussy slick and you won’t need to think. That is not your job. Your job is to trust me. Unconditionally. To listen and obey.”

“I do.”

“You don’t,” he snaps. “Otherwise you would’ve stayed away when I told you so.”

“Sorry, Mister Brand.”

He’s quiet for a while, thrusting his finger in and out of my pussy. I can hear him flick his own cock; the sound it makes is riveting.

“Hmmm … I feel your wetness. You respond so well to domination. It’s a shame I can’t enjoy it any longer than tonight.” He takes his finger out of my pussy and smears it on my ass.

I growl but still continue. I’m not happy with this, how he lets other men watch me do this. How he could share me, as if I mean nothing to him.

“Yes, Miss Carrigan. Be angry with me. Loathe me. Trust me when I say it’s better than wanting to be with me. After all … who would want to be with a man this careless with what he owns?”

“You don’t own me, don’t flatter yourself.”

He smacks me again with the object. “I own every inch of your body right now. I can do with it what I please.” He groans. “Now, continue pleasuring your pussy. I want to see you squirm. Or else …”

“Or else what, Mister Brand?”

“This knife. Remember it,” he growls. “Fuck yourself or I will do it for you, and you won’t like it one bit.”

Reluctantly, I do as he says. I block everything out. I listen to nothing except the beating of my own heart and the slick sounds his hand makes as it jerks his cock. He hisses and moans as I tease myself, ignoring everything that’s not him and me. I focus solely on that—pleasure. Nothing more. Nothing less. Anything else would kill me right now.

I go faster and faster until there’s no stopping it. This is what he wants, what he demands. There is no yes or no, no right or wrong, there is only a blur. I think of the way he touched me back when I was still in the institution, when he was loving and kind yet still controlling. When he gave me everything I wanted. Maybe it was a fantasy, but it sure as hell beats reality right now. With this in mind, my body rushes toward a hasty orgasm. Sebastian groans, sending shocks down my body as I feel the explosion building up inside me. I can’t stop it anymore. It’s coming.

“Yes, Miss Carrigan, come for me,” he moans. “Come. Now.”

I can’t control it. My body bucks as I come apart on the floor, my clit thumping with need under my finger. A loud moan escapes my mouth, and with it comes a moan from his mouth as well. I convulse underneath myself, feeling the wetness drip down my legs. And then something else drips onto my ass.

His fierce roar is all I need to know what is happening. Hot drops of cum squirt onto my back and ass, slipping down my slit and dripping down onto the floor. I quiver under the endless stream. I feel used. Broken to the bone. No matter that he didn’t fuck me, that he barely touched me, that I did all the work; I feel violated beyond comprehension.

And I enjoyed every second of it.

I have never come this hard. This … dirty.

And I hate it as well.

I hate myself for liking it.

He has twisted everything inside me that made me me. I wanted to feel, to be touched and desired, so that I could keep forgetting and keep living this fantasy. But it was all a lie. He took what was most precious to me, love, and turned it into something I should loathe. Hatred.

“Oh … Miss Carrigan … you undo me.”

I pant, my hands falling to the floor. My body is numb and my mind is tired. These tiny holes in the bag don’t provide sufficient air for me to breathe right now. I’m fighting to stay conscious. If there are a bunch of men watching me right now, I hope they know how brittle they have made me. If I was broken before, I am shattered now.

After a few seconds, the chair scoots back and his footsteps come closer. I feel the knife trace up my skin, along my back, and push into the flesh near my neck.

“Do you fear me now, Miss Carrigan?”

“Yes,” I say under my breath.

“Good.”

Suddenly, the knife is jagged underneath the bag and rips apart the wires that kept it together. The bag is pulled over my head. Gasping, I look up. Sebastian towers above me, his eyes merciless and uncomforting as he throws it away. Zipping up his pants, he drops to his knees and then lifts my chin.

“You have done well. Pity this is our final goodbye.” There is a hint amusement in his voice. “Now get up. We are finished. You may step out this door, but you will be bagged again and my driver will take you outside. He’ll take you back to the motel and then take off the bag. What you do afterwards is your own business.” He stands again and walks away.

“Where are you going? Don’t leave me!” I yell as I come up to my knees from my awkward position.

“I’m not,” he laughs. “And if I was leaving, would you not be happy? You’ll have nothing left to fear then.”

“These men! You said we weren’t alone.”

He smiles from afar as he looks back at me from over his shoulder. “I never said there were any.”

I frown, my eyes widening. Confused, I look around. I’m in a room with books—loads of books. It’s like a library, only it isn’t. This is just a room, mimicking one. Like a movie set.

One chair is behind me. Only one.

There’s no one to be seen. Not anyone except him and me.

My jaw drops. “How did you …”

“I only said me and others would enjoy you. I never specified how.”

I gaze at him, my eyes glazed with tears of betrayal. He reaches over to flip a switch on the camera that he’s standing next to, ending the recording.

“I have what I need now.”

“What?” I yell. “You made me believe there were more people in this room just so you could frighten the living shit out of me? And you taped everything?”

“Just so you could learn to stay away from me,” he says, raising his eyebrows. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”

“Fuck you!” I scream, as he takes the camera off the tripod.

“Your language surprises me … hmm … and yet it also doesn’t, considering the circumstances.”

I climb to my feet. “How dare you!”

“No, I dared you, remember? You took the bet. Now you see there is no truth to your fantasy or thoughts. I won. End of story.”

“You used me …” I hiss as I gather my clothes. “I won’t let you get away with this. And that tape, what do you intend to do with it?”

“It’s for my private collection, which, as I said, I might share with a few trusted people.”

“A sex tape? Are you kidding me?” I scream.

“Oh, Miss Carrigan, this is no such thing. If you only had a clue.”

I rush to put my clothes on so I can grab that thing away from him.

“Don’t hasten yourself with dressing, Miss, this is not the only copy.”

“What?” I freeze in my tracks.

“A second copy has already been uploaded to my private server. You will never be able to stop me, even if you were able to get your hands on this thing right here.” He flicks the camera in his hand, taunting me. “Although I doubt you could, seeing as how distraught you are from our … mutual sexual exercise.”

In a fit of rage, I throw a shoe at him. But it hits the wall instead of his head because he dodges it. “Good throw!” He laughs. “Not good enough, though. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go now. I trust that I won’t ever see you again, as that would be in both our best interests. Goodbye, Miss Carrigan.”

Before I have a chance to say anything, he’s already closed the door behind him.

However, this won’t be the last he sees of me. He’s ruined me. He made me believe I was being watched, while instead he was taping me. He’s sick, and I should’ve known better. This is not the Sebastian I came to love. This man … this man is a monster.

I will get that tape back, even if it means giving up everything I have. Even if it means giving up my sanity completely.