Chapter Twenty
Savannah
Before I even opened my eyes, I felt happy. Last night and this morning with Rhys had been everything that I hoped it would be. He touched me with reverence and passion, bringing my body to life in ways I’d never experienced before.
With my abilities, sex wasn’t easy. While I was in high school and college, it saved me from making the mistake of having sex with boys who were only interested in sleeping with as many girls as they could. Then I met Neil, and he had loved me the way I thought I wanted to be loved. I discovered that I enjoyed sex. When Neil made love to me, he made sure I climaxed each time.
But last night had transcended every single one of those experiences even though foreplay had practically been an afterthought. Each time we made love, I felt the bond between us growing, almost as though it were a tangible connection that would eventually become visible.
I lay in the circle of Rhys’ arms for a few moments, luxuriating in this warmth and the weight of his body. Finally, I had to get up. I needed to pee and my stomach was rumbling with hunger.
Carefully, I moved to the edge of the bed, got up, and crept into the bathroom. After I took care of business and washed my hands, I pulled a baggy t-shirt over my head and slipped on a pair of panties and cotton shorts.
Rhys was still sleeping peacefully as I came out of the bathroom and Satchel peered at me from behind his back, her gaze sleepy. Her possessiveness of my boyfriend aside, I was glad that my cat liked Rhys and he liked her. She might be just a pet to some people, but for many years she’d been my only constant companion against the loneliness.
I walked down the hall and straight into the kitchen. I prepped the coffee pot last night and it was full, but the contents were stone cold. With a sigh, I poured a mug full and stuck it in the microwave. Then I poured out the rest, washed the carafe, and set about making another pot.
As I drank my first cup of coffee, I carried it out on the deck behind the house and stared out into my backyard. My mind wandered to Rhys. While I wanted to sit and moon over him, I also needed to think. Yesterday, Ava said he had taken the excess of emotions from me and, when I thought about it, I could pinpoint the exact moment. I felt…lighter when he did it.
I knew that Rhys loathed that part of himself. He felt it was parasitic, the feeding on the emotions of others. Unlike vampires, who could often find partners who would freely give them what they needed, he was in an untenable position. If too many beings learned of his existence, he would be hunted down by supernatural creatures of all types. He couldn’t tell anyone what he needed to survive, his only option was to take it.
Also, the fact that he hadn’t wanted to be what he was, but rather made against his will, affected his view of his need to feed. Vampires and shifters alike were often born or they asked to be turned. Because Gaius made him without his compliance, he saw himself as a monster.
I knew the only thing that would change his view would be him. He needed to open his mind, to accept that he wasn’t evil. All I could do was love him and accept him as he was.
There was one way to help him, but I was certain he would balk at the idea. I hoped that he would at least listen to what I had to say because not only would it help him, it would help me as well.
I heard the door open behind me and turned in time to see Rhys stepping outside, wearing nothing but the athletic shorts he’d worn to bed the night before.
In the bright light of day, his body was mesmerizing. I couldn’t tear my eyes away until I heard him chuckle.
“You’re good for my ego,” he said, walking over to the lounge chair next to mine. He sat down and I realized he was holding a cup of coffee in his hand.
“You know you’re hot,” I replied primly, sipping my own coffee.
“Until I met you, very few people felt true attraction toward me.”
“That I don’t believe,” I argued. “Women fawn over you every time you come into the shop.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “There’s a difference between admiring the physical aspects of a person and being attracted to them on a deeper level.”
I couldn’t disagree with that because I’d witnessed it many times personally. “Good point,” I mumbled.
As we drank our coffee in the late morning sun, I leaned back on the lounge chair and searched for the words I needed to say.
“Rhys, I want to talk to you about something,” I stated.
I could feel the tension emanating from his body as soon as I said the words, but he didn’t reply.
“It’s about something Ava said yesterday.” His tension level rose again, but I continued anyway. “She talked about how you could help me deal with all the excess emotions that build up when I’m around other people and,” I swallowed hard, because even though his amulet made it impossible for me to get a strong read on his emotions, I could still feel the echoes. He didn’t want me to say what I was about to say. “I think I want to try.”
I knew before I looked over at him that he was shaking his head. “Savannah, I think that’s a bad idea.”
“Rhys, please just hear me out.”
I could tell he wanted to get up and walk away, it was in every line of his body, but I was certain that we needed to do this. For both of us.
“If I can give you what you need and do so willingly, why shouldn’t I?” I asked. “You would also be helping me. I’m tired of living my life only here in my home or inside the Bean. I want to be able to go out to dinner, or to the movies, or on vacation. I’m living a narrow life right now, and if this works, you will be giving me something I want very much.”
Rhys stared at me, his indecision written clearly in his expression. “Savannah,” he began.
I knew he was going to say no without even thinking about what I was asking or what I wanted. “Rhys, please,” I pleaded. “I fully understand what you will be doing and I’m still asking you to do it. Not even asking, begging. Yesterday, after Mary left the shop, my head ached from her pain and sorrow. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and hide in a dark room. After you took that from me, I felt better, more like myself. My head no longer hurt and neither did my heart. You took it away.” I had to stop and clear my throat before I continued. It felt tight with the emotions rising within me. “I have no choice but to take on the pain of others. I can’t stop it completely. I might be able to block some of it out, but not all. There is no spell or magic that can help me the way your amulet helps you. Nothing except your abilities.”
I could tell I was getting through to him. He no longer looked as though he were shutting down, so I pushed a little harder.
“I don’t want to live half of a life with you, Rhys. I want to go places with you, experience things. And, someday, we might have children who share your abilities. How will they survive? Will you call them monsters?”
He looked taken aback by my questions. “Of course not. Children are not monstrous.”
“But they could be like you,” I pointed out. “And you say you’re a monster.”
Rhys stared at me. I couldn’t feel his emotions, but I could plainly see that he was torn.
“I just want you to think about it,” I said softly. “I want you to see yourself the way I see you, but I can’t force you to change your mind.”
His chin jerked as he absorbed what I said.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, changing the subject. “I was just thinking about what to make for breakfast. Well, technically I guess it would be lunch.”
“No, I’m not hungry, but I can go pick up something for you to eat if you’d like.”
I shook my head. “I’ll just make some eggs and toast.” I got to my feet and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Do you want more coffee?”
He shook his head, his gaze unfocused as he looked out into the backyard. I knew he was thinking about everything I’d just said, but I didn’t want to continue to push him. He needed time to digest it all and he wouldn’t be able to do that if I kept talking about it.
With a heavy heart, I went back inside the house and set about making breakfast. The longer that Rhys sat on the deck, the more I began to question if I’d done the right thing. We’d only just made love for the first time last night and our relationship was still so new, even if it didn’t feel that way.
He said that he would never let me go, but that was before I pushed him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was a mistake to bring it up so soon. Maybe he wasn’t as invested in me as I was in him. He’d been alone for so long, unused to compromising. Had I pushed him away with my request?
Doubts clouded my mind as I buttered toast and put scrambled eggs on my plate. My appetite had completely disappeared. Just as I was about to go back outside and tell Rhys not to worry about it, to forget everything I’d just said, the back door opened.
I looked at him, my heart in my throat, waiting for him to tell me that he couldn’t do this, or that I was asking for too much from him. Instead, he looked lighter somehow, as though he’d shrugged off some of the weight that he carried on his shoulders.
“You’re right,” he murmured. “Any children we have wouldn’t be monsters. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to see myself as you do, but even I can see that any child we create wouldn’t be evil.”
My legs nearly gave out beneath me when he spoke because that wasn’t what I expected.
“I’m willing to try feeding from you because I want to give you the life that you long for. I didn’t realize how trapped you are by your abilities and I don’t want you to feel that way.”
I smiled tremulously at him, relief filling me. “Thank you,” I murmured. “I was freaking out, thinking that I pushed you too hard, too fast, and you would decide I wasn’t worth the trouble. I’ve been sitting in here, thinking that I’d made a mistake.”
Rhys frowned and came over to me, taking me by the arms. “I don’t ever want you to question what I feel for you, Savannah.” He slid his hands down to mine, lifted them to his chest, and placed them on his heart. “This heart belongs to you. It beats for you. I never want you to feel as though you have to hide how you feel from me. You told me the truth and it will take more than that for you to turn me away.”
It seemed that Rhys wasn’t the only person who needed to adjust their thinking. I also didn’t know how to handle the fact that he’d talked about his feelings toward me several times and each time he implied that he loved me. We had only known each other for a handful of weeks, but I was already head over heels in love with him. It also seemed that he felt the same, but he hadn’t said the words.
This morning, as we made love, they’d hovered on the tip of my tongue and I’d nearly spoken them aloud, but fear held me back. Fear of sharing too much, too soon.
I wanted to say them now, to share my thoughts and feelings with him so he understood that he had my heart as well.
Before I could speak, his cell phone buzzed on the counter. He glanced down and his body went still.
“It’s Ava,” he murmured. “She was supposed to call the witch in the U.K. this morning.”
I stepped back and dropped my hands. “Do you mind putting it on speaker so I can hear what she has to say?”
Rhys nodded and picked up the phone. A few seconds later, Ava’s voice came through the speaker. “Hey, Rhys. I waited a few hours because I thought you guys might want to sleep in this morning.”
I choked back a laugh.
“Oh, hey, Savannah. How are you this beautiful summer morning?” she asked.
I felt my cheeks heat at her words because it was clear that she predicted what would happen last night. “I’m great.”
“Hmmm. I think we should talk more about your answer later, but right now I have some important stuff to tell you about our mutual frenemy, Rhiannon. Apparently, she’s been around as long as Rhys and she likes to cause trouble. The only reason we haven’t heard of her before now is because she always gets someone else to do her dirty work, mainly a vampire named Macgrath. Margaret, that’s the British witch that Kerry told us about, said that it’s surprising she came to us herself. Her usual M.O. is to send Macgrath or another intermediary and never show her face.”
I felt a cold finger of dread drag along my spine as Ava spoke.
“How is she trouble?” Rhys asked.
“She shows up and people disappear. Usually they’re creatures with unique or strong powers. Witches, vampires, and shifters who are special or unusual in some way vanish not long after they meet with her intermediary or Macgrath. She also buys a lot of property and it’s usually associated with a place of magical power, sacred places.” Ava sighed. “I hate to say it but it sounds like she’s a power whore to me. She’s extremely strong and I think that her activities have something to do with that. It also means she’s probably after you, Rhys. The legends about animavores hint that if your soul can be consumed so can your ability to siphon the souls of others. The soul of a supernatural being carries their essence, their power, which means she can then gather even more power.”
I glanced at Rhys and saw how pale his face had become. “Essentially she intends to do what Cornelius did,” he murmured. “She’s going to build her power base to the point that she’s unstoppable.”
“Maybe,” Ava replied. “I agree that she wants to build her power base, but she doesn’t strike me as someone who wants to rule as a god. Her agenda seems to be strength and wealth. Everything she does makes her richer and more powerful, yet she doesn’t show her face. She doesn’t have the ego of a despot. If she did, she wouldn’t rely mostly on her minions to do her dirty work. She would want people to recognize her and fear her. I think she has different motives for gaining power.”
“I think you’re right,” I interjected. “Her goal is to be stronger but she doesn’t want to be worshipped. She wants to be acknowledged and loved, but not by an entire population. She only wants the adulation of a certain person or persons. I could feel it when she was at the store. She’s angry and she’s hurt and she’s allowed those feelings to fester for hundreds, if not thousands of years.”
“Great,” Ava replied. “We have a witch with anger management issues and a craving for power watching our every move. Nothing to worry about.”
“At least we have a better understanding of what she wants,” I stated. “If we understand what she wants, then we can find a way to deal with her.”
Ava sighed. “I miss the old days when we could take care of a witch by binding her when she misbehaved. Now you have to provide proof and ask special permission from the council of high priests and priestesses.”
“We’ll deal with her,” I said. “Together.”
“All right, well Margaret gave me some ideas of where to look if I wanted to know more about Rhiannon. Including the old myths because apparently the woman has been around long enough that they’re probably about her,” Ava stated. “Rhys, please thank Kerry for her help with this.”
“I will,” Rhys agreed. “Surely there is something else we can do to help.”
“There is, but I need more information before we discuss it. I’ll be in touch,” she promised.
“Bye, Ava,” I said.
“In the meantime, enjoy yourselves.” She gave a wicked laugh and hung up.
My face hot, I looked up at Rhys. His pensive expression made me forget my embarrassment at Ava’s innuendo. “Hey, are you okay?”
He nodded. “I’m fine.”
I gestured to the pan of eggs that I’d made that were likely cold now. “Are you sure you don’t want some breakfast?”
“Actually, I think I do,” he replied.
As I put the eggs on plates and warmed them up, I tried not to worry about what the future might bring and enjoy the moment.
When the time came, I would be glad that I did.