Cool brisk fall days were threatening to turn to winter, but as long as the sun was out, and rain was kept at bay, playdates at the park were still on. That’s where Heather and Tommy were headed, to spend time with Sara and Cooper. Heather had become a more permanent fixture around Clay’s house, spending more time with Tommy during the day, and her nights with Clay.
Something had changed. Who knew a food fight with cake and a stomach flu had such power, but it did. It had been a turning point for them. Her dreams were still up in the air, where to go next with her passion for dance was a mystery yet, but her heart felt at home, in St. Helena, with Clay. She was content, happy, and no longer at war with all things happy and heartfelt.
Heather zipped up Tommy’s jacket for the second time in a handful of minutes, and said, “You know the deal, dude. Jacket stays on, zipped, and cozy or we’re out of here. Right?”
“Yes, Miss. Heather.” Batting his long lashes, and giving her a glimpse of his big smiling dimple, he charmed her yet again before running off with Cooper. “Race you to the slide!”
“Wow, sis. You’re like, really…good at this,” Sara offered in surprise.
Heather turned and gave her sister a questioning look, “What do you mean? Good at what?”
“This,” she said, waving her hand between Heather and Tommy in the distance, “with Tommy. He even listens.”
“Oh, he listens because I give him cake.”
“Cake?”
“Well, cake, sometimes gelato when that cranky old guy with the truck comes around. He really has good gelato, you know. Both Tommy and I have a sweet tooth, so he makes for a good little partner in crime,” Heather admitted.
“I’m not sure it has much to do with the junk food, Heather. That little boy adores you.”
“Ehh, I kind of like him too,” she laughed, playing down the emotion Tommy generated in her. It was one thing to recognize it on her own and let her heart open to the idea, but it still sounded odd, out loud.
“C’mon, you adore him just as much. I can see it. You are not the same angsty, worlds out to get you, girl you were just a few months ago when I picked you up at the airport. You don’t even get pissed at Mr. Moretti’s ice cream truck music anymore. This looks good on you, really good.”
Heather’s eyes were on Tommy, as she listened to her sister’s words, and felt them to the core of her heart. A sweet loving smile came over her as she said in a near whisper, “It feels good too.”
Bolting to her feet, Heather took off at a run after Tommy took a fall rushing from the slide to the swings, leading him to tears. In a panic, she crouched down beside him, inspecting his wounds thoroughly, questioning where it hurt the worst and where it hurt the least. Brushing off the dirt and debris, all she could find were a few superficial scrapes, nothing too dramatic. What was dramatic, however, was Tommy wrapping himself around her neck in a tight hug.
He finally pulled away, standing in front of her and he asked, “Are you going to be my mom? You are a very good mom and I want you to be mine.”
Cooper and Sara were kneeling next to the two, witnessing the conversation in play when Sara gasped at Tommy’s sweet sentiment.
“Yeah, Aunt Heather, you’re like a mom, just not a mom yet, but you should be a mom cause you’re kinda like my mom and it’s really good,” Cooper offered in support.
She didn’t know what to say, Heather was stunned speechless, slightly frightened, and overcome with joy all at the same time. How did she answer this? A mom? She hadn’t thought that far ahead, ever. Life had always been about dance, and chasing dreams. Marriage was one thing every girl thought about that at least once in her life, but becoming a mom?
“Uh, well, uh…I’m your friend, Tomster. Your very good friend, buddy!” She didn’t know if that was the right or wrong thing to say, but it was all she had.
He hugged her again, and whispered in her ear, “You’re my very bestest friend. I love you, Miss. Heather.”
She melted, there was no other way to describe it. Tommy won her over in so many ways and made her think beyond the box she had put herself in. Four year olds just didn’t get enough credit as the wise little, thought provoking, souls that they were.
“Hear that,” Sara interrupted, “I think we need a gelato and I hear him headed this way!”
The boys cheered, and raced to the edge of the park to wait for the ice cream truck headed their way, injuries and warm fuzzy moments already forgotten.
“That was something…” Sara said, “What a little sweetheart. You okay? You know, with all that?”
“I know, he sure is. I guess I’m okay with it. I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought about any of this and it doesn’t exactly freak me out like it might have even a few months ago.”
“Well, that’s something,” Sara chuckled. “I like this on you…every bit of it. If I had to guess, Doc Walker shares his son’s opinion of you.”
Heather’s cell phone rang, interrupting the conversation, which was fine by Heather. She was getting used to this new life still and all of the feelings that came with it. However, she was not really comfortable talking about it all just yet because she didn’t entirely understand what it meant herself. The gleeful expression she was wearing quickly became anxious and stormy when she read the caller ID flashing on her screen.
She turned to Sara, and asked, “Can you keep an eye on Tommy for a second, I need to take this.”
“Go, I got it.”
Heather stood in the distance, pacing back and forth as she took the call, tossing a glance at her sister and the boys every so often as they waited their turn for ice cream. Just as she was settling into the life she thought she was destined to live, fate threw her a big fat plot twist. What once would have had her head over heels excited, now had her at the edge of her seat. Heather had a big decision to make, one that wouldn’t come easy. Not in the least.
Sara and the boys had almost made their way to the front of the line by the time Heather rejoined them. Standing beside them, Heather didn’t say a word – she kept looking at the screen on her phone…like she was waiting for it to tell her what to do next. Her blank expression and too cool demeanor had her sister’s attention.
“Are you okay?” Sara questioned, full of concern.
“Uh, yeah…I, uh…think so?” A question, not a confident statement because Heather didn’t have one.
“Heather? Honey, who was on the phone?”
With a look of surprise, and pale glow as if she had seen a ghost, Heather finally answered, “New York.”
***
Clay noticed a distance between Heather and himself all evening. He came home to her and Tommy making dinner, as planned, but she seemed…distracted. Not sure what to make of it, since she wasn’t offering him any clues, he made a point to ask her several times how her day went, was Tommy behaving for her, and point blank – was she okay.
Her answers never strayed, one from the other, and she claimed to be just fine. She said she had a lot on her mind, and was perhaps a bit tired. The mood was dramatically different this night, versus every other; it had him concerned and feeling a bit insecure, if he were being honest.
Tommy was finally tucked in for the night when Clay found Heather in the kitchen, putting the dinner dishes away. Wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, he pulled her body to his. Her rigidness faded, and she relaxed into him, letting out a deep sigh. Something was wrong.
“So…what’s really going on, twinkle toes? You haven’t been yourself all night. Tell me what’s bothering you so we can fix it.”
His words were sweet, endearing, and exactly what she expected from him. Of course he wanted to fix it for her, that was Clay – he would do anything for her, she knew that much. What she didn’t know was how to tell him what was really weighing on her because she knew, like everything else, he would put her first and she just might want him to be selfish, just this once.
Her eye’s filled, and bottom lip began to quiver. The minute she started this conversation was the minute she would be forced to face it, and make a life altering decision no matter which way that choice went.
“I got a call today…from New York.” she paused to gauge his reaction, to which he remained calm and unreadable, “Um, my ex…well, old director called. The lead choreographer abruptly left the production.”
“Okay. So what does that mean?” He knew exactly who the man was that had called her, her ex-fiancé – his insecurities grew just a bit more.
“They want me to rejoin the production, Director of Choreography. I wouldn’t be dancing full time, but I would be part of the creative aspect and…well, Broadway.”
“That’s…great. Right? It’s not exactly your dream, but close…” he tried to add confidence and cheer to his reply but it fell flat because that’s exactly what his heart had done too.
“Yeah, close. It would be a great opportunity. I figured dancing professionally would eventually lead there anyway, all the greats do anyway.”
“When would you leave?”
She hesitated, biting her bottom lip, trying to hold it together, “Friday. They need me right away.”
“Day after tomorrow. Wow, that’s…soon.”
“I know…” she whispered.
“Hey,” he pulled her in to a comforting hug, holding her tighter than he could remember, “you know I will support you, no matter what you choose, twinkle toes. Right? Follow your heart, chase your dream.”
Her body quaked against his as the sobs she had been holding in all day, poured from her body. He said follow her heart, but that was the problem. She didn’t know where it was telling her to go.
***
Without another word between them, and tears subsiding, Clay scooped Heather in his arms cradling her against his body as he walked to the bedroom. He moved to the center of the bed, still holding her as he went, finally laying her gently below him.
Emotions were high for both of them, confusion, fear, and sadness raking at both. They didn’t speak because there was nothing to say, not yet anyway.
Clay didn’t want to hold her back, keep her from her dream, and become a source of resentment for doing so. He didn’t like the idea of her leaving, but wouldn’t stand in her way. He also wouldn’t make the choice easy.
Heather didn’t want to be the source of Clay’s broken heart, she knew how that felt, but she also couldn’t give up the idea of New York. Second chances like this just don’t happen in that industry. What if it was a sign, and exactly where she was supposed to be?
So they remained silent, and let their intimacy say all that they couldn’t with words. Carefully, attentively, and slowly he made love to her. This wasn’t their hot, steamy windows variety they tended to act on. This was a different kind of passion, a different kind of pleasure, this was love.
Clay showed her how much he loved her…all night long.