Walker
I miss Isaac once he’s gone. As he left he pulled me into a hug and whispered “sorry” in my ear. I could hear the emotion in his voice.
I know he thinks that I took his place, that I ended up here because of his actions, but that isn’t the truth. I wanted to be a marine. I took the path willingly. I just don’t want to be one anymore. I can’t be one anymore. Not because I’m blind, but because back on that road in Helmand I stopped believing. I stopped believing in God. I stopped believing in significance. I stopped believing in a war on terror. I stopped believing in myself as a hero, in what we were doing as heroic. How can horror on that scale be a price anyone is willing to pay, for anything?
“Okay, you all set?” Valentina calls through the door.
I come out the bathroom. I hear her draw in a loud breath. “Oh my God, you look so handsome I could eat you.”
“Leave that to Didi,” Sanchez cuts in.
I rub a hand over my neck, feeling self-conscious. I’m wearing a pair of pants and a shirt that Valentina bought for me. I have no idea what I look like—I could be dressed like Liberace. The pants could have pink seams down the sides. The shirt could be bright pink. I just have to trust her. And Sanchez isn’t laughing, so that has to mean something.
“So,” says Valentina, “it’s all set up. José and all the staff are in on it, so no one will disturb you.”
“You dirty dog,” Sanchez ribs, nudging me in the elbow. “You better get some tonight after all the shit we gone through organizing this.”
Valentina slaps him. “Honestly, why do you always have to lower the tone? They’re having a romantic date, that’s all. Who said anything about them sleeping together?”
“You got protection, bro? You want me to leave some condoms by the bed?”
Another slap. “Why do you even have condoms?” Valentina shrieks. “I thought you said you wanted to try for another baby?”
“No,” I interrupt, having to raise my voice to be heard. “I’m good. We’re not going to . . . we’re just having dinner.”
“See,” Valentina says triumphantly, squeezing my arm. “Noel knows how to be romantic. He knows that a woman needs to be wooed. It’s not all about the physical side of things. You could learn a thing or two from this man, Jesús. And from Doctor Monroe.”
Sanchez mutters something under his breath.
“Right, come on, she’s going to be here soon,” Valentina says, and I hear her bustling Sanchez toward the door. “Tell her happy birthday from us!” she calls.
I nod.
Suddenly Sanchez is back, whispering in my ear. “So listen, we got another sweepstake running. I won six hundred bucks last time, this time the pot’s over a thousand dollars.”
I cock my head in his direction. I know that the center had a sweepstake running on Didi and I getting together, but I have no idea what this one is about. Maybe how long it takes before Didi’s father finds out about us. Not that I want anyone to win that particular one.
“This one is on whether you get her into bed or not tonight.”
I pull a face at Sanchez. Seriously? I have no plans to try to seduce Didi tonight. It’s not exactly the most romantic of places for our first time. Here, come try out my hospital bed. Let me tie you to the IV drip stand, and, hey, try to keep it down in case your father interrupts us . . .
Sanchez leans in and whispers conspiratorially in my ear. “I had my money on three times before morning, so, you know . . . if you want to split the winnings . . .”
“Sanchez,” I say, slapping him on the shoulder and pushing him toward the door, “if I slept with Didi ten times by morning, you’d be the very last person I would tell. In fact, I wouldn’t tell anyone, because that stuff is between Didi and me.”
“Sure, I get it . . .” Sanchez says. “It’s private. But what’s a little truth between brothers?”
“Sanchez, you’re lucky I’m blind, because otherwise you’d be having to explain to Valentina why having a third kid would now be impossible.”
Sanchez sucks in a breath. “Ouch. Okay. Right. I got you, Lieutenant. No more sex talk.”
“Jesús!” Valentina yells.
“Gotta go. You have fun,” Sanchez calls. “And try to make it three, not ten.”
I sit on the edge of my bed and wait for Didi to arrive. She’s due at eight. I told her I wanted to watch a movie with her, but the truth is I’ve spent the last week organizing a date night to rival all date nights. Once I found out it was Didi’s birthday and mentioned it to Valentina, there was no looking back. If Colonel Kingsley ever retires, then I think Valentina could run for his job and do it standing on her head. The woman could organize an army better than Napoleon. I didn’t have to do much at all, other than submit to Valentina measuring my inside leg for new pants.
The only difficulty was making sure that Didi’s father was out of the building, and Valentina managed to handle that one by inviting him and Didi’s mom for dinner with her and Sanchez, ostensibly as a thank you.
I fumble in my pocket for the present—something I also had Valentina help me buy. It’s a silver bracelet. I know Didi likes wearing jewelry as she’s often wearing necklaces, rings, and bracelets, though recently she’s only been wearing earrings. I hope she likes it. The only other jewelry I’ve ever bought for a girl is sitting in my top drawer, so I hope this doesn’t end up the same way.
The elevator doors ping and I stand up, listening for Didi’s familiar footstep. There it is. She’s wearing heels. I smile to myself, trying to picture what she’s wearing. Twenty paces and she’s at my door.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hi,” she says back. There’s a smile in her voice and the warmth in it wraps around me. God, even just hearing her voice makes me feel like I’m standing in the sun on the deck of a boat. She comes toward me. “Where’s José?” she asks. “It’s so quiet tonight. I didn’t see anyone when I came in.”
I shrug, smiling to myself. José has made himself scarce too.
“Wait,” Didi says, stopping. “Why do you look like you’re about to shoot an aftershave commercial?”
I smile. “Happy Birthday. I’m taking you on a date.”
“What?” she asks. “I thought we were watching a movie.”
“No movie tonight,” I tell her. “I have something else planned.”
She steps toward me and I take a deep breath as I smell her perfume. I run my hands down her arms. They’re bare, toned, soft to the touch. She loops her arms around my neck and reaches up to kiss me. I let my fingers smooth a path down her spine. She’s wearing a silk dress. The zipper teases me. How easy it would be to slide it down and let it drop to the floor. I wish like hell I could see her, tonight of all nights. I want to drink her in.
I dip my head and kiss her neck. “God, you smell so good,” I tell her.
She squirms—I’ve discovered a few of these spots around her body where when I kiss her she practically vibrates. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how much I’d like to pin her down and take my time kissing all those places.
“And you look so good,” Didi answers. “Where did you get the clothes? I’ve not seen them before.”
“Valentina.”
“She bought them for you? Just for tonight?”
“Yeah,” I say, feeling a little embarrassed. “I wanted to do something special.”
Didi pushes her body up against mine, and for a moment I think about letting myself tumble back against the bed, pulling her down with me and forgetting all about the dinner waiting downstairs. I take a deep breath instead and reach for her hand.
“Come on,” I say, “I don’t want to get started on dessert before we’ve even had our starter.”