Bryant spun around lazily on a swivel-top stool. He sat at the one of the tall tables in his college’s hydrology laboratory. He couldn’t believe he was running out of time here. The science complex had become his haven over the past six years. It was never really home, exactly. More like a sanctuary.

Even though he’d been in academic exile, he’d stayed away knowing someday he’d take everything he learned and apply it, improving his family’s ranching operation back in Wyoming. Still… For a while, it had been a safe place. One where he was judged by his performance and his own actions exclusively, independent from the expectations or privileges that came along with the Compton name.

After years of taking extra credit loads and advanced coursework, he was set to break the record for the fastest time to earn a PhD in water conservation engineering from his college. All that stood between him and his diploma was one final project. To be exact, it was the proof-of-concept portion of his dissertation, which had otherwise been complete for nearly a month. The theoretical work had all been approved by the school board. Now he had to show that what he’d hypothesized on paper could work in reality.

The science of it all didn’t scare him. Equations were made to be solved. And he was damn good at it. The emotional impact of returning home—not for a quick holiday visit, but to stay—well, that was kind of freaking him out. He didn’t want to lose the self-sufficient person he’d discovered he could be at school in the herd of Comptons waiting for him to rejoin them. Plus, he felt like he might have been so busy sticking his head in his books that he wasted his chance to stick more fun parts of himself in more fun places. Once he went home, the opportunity to explore his sexuality as a relative unknown would be gone for good. And lately, he’d found himself thinking about relationships more and more.

It must have been because his cousins Austin and James had recently become infatuated with two particular women, reminding him of what he’d been missing all this time.

Only one person would understand why. Jake.

Okay, maybe two, but he would never talk to the other about his anxieties. It was better if he forgot Vaughn Sevan existed. Otherwise he’d start showing up in Bryant’s dreams for a do-over of that fateful day as he sometimes did. As much as Bryant tried not to think about the sexy cowboy, it was hard not to when Jake constantly updated him about the guy. Even his sister, Sterling, periodically mentioned that Vaughn had asked how he was doing when the two of them got together for their coffee breaks at their neighboring shops in town.

It was hard enough to pretend Vaughn, and the terrible event he was linked to in Bryant’s memory, didn’t exist from here. How the hell would he manage it at home?

Bryant reread the long line of scribbles covering his whiteboard. He wished it was as easy to solve the rest of his problems. Whether or not he was ready, he was going to have to face them soon.

As if he were psychic, Jake chose right then to call.

Bryant grinned as he connected his phone for voice only. Unlike Bryant’s cousins, the Compass Boys, the gruff old ranch hand hadn’t embraced the video chat functions the rest of the world now considered default. “Hey.”

“How’s it going, kid? Haven’t heard from you in a while. That usually means something’s up.”

“Here I thought you had super powers. I was just thinking about you.” Bryant couldn’t wait to share his thoughts about what he could do for the ranch.

Although he’d earned a free ride to university, his parents had still sacrificed by letting him go. It took enormous amounts of manpower to run Compass Ranch. A young, strong guy could be a lot of help. Over Christmas break he’d realized Jake had slowed down. Hopefully he could start picking up some of the slack.

“If I could have a super power, I wouldn’t waste it on knowing when you wanted to talk to me. I’d fly. Or have laser-beam eyes. No…time travel. That’s it. There are a few things I’d like to change about my younger, foolish days.” Jake sighed then.

“Me too.” Bryant echoed his sentiment, though he could only imagine how much more Jake had suffered, especially over the loss of the love of his life. Haiwee had left him about a half a century ago, taking Viho—their unborn son—with her. She’d passed away before Jake could reconcile with her. On top of that, he’d spent decades completely oblivious that Viho even existed.

Maybe it was time Bryant bucked up. Things could be so much worse than his petty drama. Letting one bad choice ruin the prime of his life might be even stupider than the original mistake he’d made.

After a slightly awkward pause, Jake said, “I was just calling to check up on you. What was on your mind? I’m guessing you wanted to chat about more than the weather. That’s usually Doug’s specialty.”

Bryant could imagine Jake kicked back in one of the wooden chairs on the porch of the main house. Probably with a toothpick between his lips as he fished the remnants of Aunt Leah’s lunch from between his charmingly crooked teeth. She cooked for him and the rest of the hands most days.

“Yeah.” No sense in denying it. “I have to finish some practical application stuff for my final project. I think it could be really useful for Compass Ranch. Kill two birds with one assignment, you know?”

“That doesn’t sound like a problem,” Jake said.

“It’s not going to be cheap.” Bryant sighed. “The grant I applied for was denied since I’ve already hit the lifetime max for student financial aid through my scholarship.”

“What’s this project do? And don’t tell me in your fancy scientist mumbo jumbo either.” Jake snorted.

Bryant thought of the holistic system he wanted to implement in layman’s terms. “It’s a top-to-bottom water conservation, capture, storage, and delivery system. Think of it as drought-proofing the ranch.”

“For the livestock or the crops?” Jake clarified.

Although Compass Ranch focused on cattle, there were a bunch of side shoots of business that had developed over the years. Uncle Seth bred horses, and they’d started growing extra hay to sell in case of rough times. Austin had even expanded his trucking services to haul stuff for their neighbors.

Diversification removed some of the risk from ranching. None of it could function without water. Bryant hoped to protect them all from a crisis situation by ensuring they always had a sustainable hydrological plan, especially given the impact of climate change on the region.

“Both.” He started to get amped up. “Given the high evapotranspiration rate of the current straw variety, we could start with switching to more tolerant species, then use soil additives and plant border landscaping to retain more moisture. I’ve designed proprietary fixtures and an irrigation delivery network to manage outlays on as small as a plant-by-plant basis. I’d also fortify the drinking supply for the cattle by building a collection system that feeds an underground storage network, a few dams, and retaining ponds. Then we could focus on the purification of wastewater, recycling it instead of letting it run off. With all of the improvements taken into account, I estimate we could supply the ranch with at least two cycles worth of water to be rationed during droughts. That is, once the system comes up to maximum capacity.”

“What did I tell you about that fancy shit?” Jake growled. “I think what you’re saying is that you know a way to guarantee the ranch could keep on as usual even if it didn’t rain for two whole years?”

“Yep.” Bryant nodded even though the other guy couldn’t see him. “Probably more. Because if we can also revamp the consumption side—”

“Bryant, that’s enough.” Jake cut him off.

He wasn’t excited to hear the rest? Damn, maybe Bryant had misjudged the ranch’s needs.

“I mean, you don’t have to pitch me any more than that. That’s worth a hell of a lot, kid.” Jake chuckled. “Your dad can be tight with the ranch’s purse strings, especially with all of this season’s expenses, but if you can show him a solid plan to do what you just said, he’ll be writing you a check so fast his pen will melt.”

“A six-figure check? Seriously?” Bryant should have figured Jake would understand his hesitation.

This was the first time he could prove to his family that his education had been worthwhile. That what he’d done while he was away had the power to make an impact at least as big as Austin’s with his truck-driving, and James’s with his life-saving jumping-out-of-planes manliness, and Doug chasing those tornadoes.

Sometimes brains were just as important as brawn, right?

He sure hoped so.

“Yeah, of course.” Jake got quieter then. “I’m proud of you, Bryant. They are, too. If you can pull off even half of what you think you can, you’ll be making a big difference around here. Fuck, it’s only April and it’s fifteen degrees above average. Mark my words, by July we’re going to be scorched. We’ll need some help to make it through this year. The sooner you can get home, the better.”

Bryant didn’t know about that. The sooner he went home, the sooner he had to deal with the consequences of his bad decisions. Hopefully he’d be far too busy to worry about the ghosts in the barn.

Hey, it had worked for the past six years. Why not a few more?

Whipping out his super powers again, Jake must have picked up on his silence.

“Have you been letting loose any out there?” Jake wondered, his casual tone one Bryant knew was anything but innocent.

“Nope.” He had a clean conscience there. “I’ve been studying and working my ass off. It hasn’t been easy to finish these three degrees in the time it takes most people to earn two.”

“Hmmm.” Jake could show a lot of disapproval with a single sound. Sort of like he had that day…

“What hmmmm?” Bryant was wiser now. He asked and Jake let him have it.

“There are plenty of things to learn besides stuff you read about in a book.”

“Like what?”

“Like how to find a boyfriend, for one. What to do with him for another.” Jake sounded like he’d gotten to his feet and was pacing the porch.

“I promise, I learned my lesson, Jake. I’m not going to fool around with the cowboys, causing a ruckus for you, my dad or uncles, or anyone else back home by screwing the help. I swear.”

Jake cursed beneath his breath. “You idiot, that was never the problem. You weren’t the problem.”

“Then my choice to wait for the right person—someone I care for, someone I trust—shouldn’t cause any issues either.” It felt good to say it out loud. When his cousins teased him about his living the monk life, he brushed it off. With Jake, he could be honest. The guy knew why he felt that way.

He didn’t have to explain or relive those terrible moments. Jake got it.

“If that’s how you really feel, you’re right. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Jake paused then added, “But if you’re avoiding intimacy because you’re afraid to open up again, well…that doesn’t sound healthy.”

Fear and denial caused Bryant to lash out. The instant he opened his mouth, he wished he could call his words back, but they were gone and said before he could stop them. “Is that why you never found another partner after Haiwee?”

Jake grunted as if her name was like a punch to the gut. His breathing was ragged for a few seconds, ones Bryant felt insanely guilty about.

“I’m sorry, Jake. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You’re entitled to call me on my bullshit. Someone ought to have years ago.” The old man sounded even older now. “Don’t be dumb like me. Be smart, like you. Okay?”

Bryant chuckled since Jake was wiser than most people he’d ever met. “I’ll do my best.”

“Maybe you should consider discussing this with Colby when you get home,” Jake suggested. “Or maybe even Vaughn.”

Bryant pointedly ignored the V-word.

“Uncle Colby? Why?” He was incredibly likeable, charismatic, and easy to talk to, but Bryant couldn’t see where the guy would have any input on his sex life that could be helpful. Plus…his uncle? No thanks.

“He’ll understand where you’re coming from. Clayton, too. Either would be a good choice if you need someone to vent to.” Jake was confusing Bryant more and more.

What would one of his cousin Hope’s two husbands have to say about gay hookups? Wait… “You mean because they both have lovers that work the ranch, right? I told you, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Bryant, you have got to be the most emotionally dense kid I have ever met.”

“Then enlighten me.”

“You know that Silas and Colby are as in love with each other as Clayton and Wyatt are, right? They’re not only in the relationship to share their woman. They share each other, too. It’s a three-way connection.”

At that, Bryant spun himself a little too hard. His stool tipped precariously, nearly dumping him on his ass on the linoleum floor. He gaped at his phone before wheezing, “I mean…I guess. Sort of. I never really thought about it that explicitly. But choosing ménage isn’t the same thing as being gay.”

To him it seemed kind of normal. He’d grown up with Uncles Silas and Colby and Aunt Lucy, who loved each other as much as they loved their kids and nieces and nephews. Besides, Uncle Silas was mean enough to pulverize anyone who dared object or upset his partners. Bryant was pretty much his polar opposite.

“Nah, you’re right. It’s probably more common. Downright boring.” Jake laughed. “Yep, kid. You’re not as freaky as you think. Nowhere near as freaky as your mom, for example. Back in their day, your mom and dad and I and about a half dozen other cowboys used to—”

“No. Nope. Stop right there. I am not interested in hearing what you are about to say.”

Jake laughed harder until he fell into a coughing fit.

“You okay?” Bryant asked when he didn’t recover right away.

“Haven’t felt quite right lately. Must be getting a cold or something. I’ll be fine.” Jake brushed off his concern, then hammered home his point. “Look, we want you home and we want you happy. Take some time to think about what I’ve said and we’ll discuss it more when you get here, okay?”

Bryant tried to believe Jake. “Okay.”

“Quit worrying. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Thanks, Jake. I miss you.” Bryant slumped on his stool. Maybe he could do this after all. With a little help from his mentor.

“You know I’m only a phone call away. And soon I’ll be bugging you every day in person.” Jake chuckled. “You’ll be sick of me in a week.”

“Never.”