Chapter 26

It was the longest night of Joss’ life, of all their lives. They stayed inside the shelter, taking turns sitting by Ryan’s side, sleeping in shifts. Joss spent hours studying her book, trying to find something, anything else that might be able to help him, being as thorough as possible. The sleepless night left her drained, emotional, and agitated but she knew she had to hold it together. The last thing any of them needed was to deal with an hysterical woman. But inside, she was hysterical, filled with quiet panic and dread. It was incredibly heartbreaking watching Ryan suffer, hour by hour losing his fight. It was hard for her brain to accept, how in a matter of a week he could go from a strong, vital man to a listless shell of himself. It wasn’t fair. They had survived a plane crash for God’s sake! She knew she was floating through the stages of grief, coming around to each of them over and over again. She loved him. She wasn’t ready to let him go.

“Joss, I’m going to get a fire going, make some mint tea,” Daniel said, pulling her out of her trance. “Can I get you some?”

She looked up at him, trying to focus her eyes. He was smiling at her lovingly but clearly he was dealing with his own sadness.

“What time is it?” she asked, sitting up straighter.

“It’s pretty early still. Six thirty.”

“How’s Ryan?”

“Same. He just took some water from Charles,” Daniel said, placing his hand gently on her cheek. “Maybe you should try to get a little sleep?”

“I’m okay,” she said, placing her hand over his. “I will take some tea.”

“Okay, love. I’ll bring you some.”

She shook her head, “No, I’ll be out in a few minutes. I could use some fresh air and maybe a quick wash, try to get my second wind.”

Joss took her time, checking on Ryan and monitoring his vitals. As soon as she sat down with him, Charles kissed her on the forehead and wandered away, leaving them alone. She lovingly washed Ryan’s face, smiling when he opened his eyes for her. She tried to pretend he could see her, but she knew he was barely processing what was happening.

“I love you,” she whispered, overcome with emotion. She grasped his hand gently, tears rolling down her cheeks. To her surprise he weakly squeezed her hand in return. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. He was still in there, reassuring her, telling her he loved her too, in the only way he could.

“Oh Ryan, please don’t die,” she sobbed, raising his hand to her lips. “Please baby, please.”

* * *

It took everything she had to leave Ryan’s side, but she knew she needed to take care of herself if she was going to be at her best for him. After leaving him in Charlie’s hands she met Daniel by the fire and choked down the breakfast he’d prepared for her. They didn’t talk, they didn’t have to. She just appreciated him taking care of her, of quietly loving her and acknowledging her pain.

She could see he was suffering too. The island had forced them together, but away from civilization, and the distractions of everyday life, they were offered a chance to bond in ways that sometimes took years in the real world, especially for men. It was actually a beautiful and inspiring thing to witness. Daniel and Ryan were probably the closest of all the men, a true bromance, and Danny’s pain went just as deep as her own. He was a sweet soul, and her heart ached for him.

After changing into her bathing suit and gathering some clean clothes, she wrapped a towel around herself and slowly walked down to the lagoon, exhaustion heavily weighing her down. She hoped the cool water would refresh her enough to get through the rest of the morning. As she approached the shore she saw Willie sitting in the shallow water, holding his head in his hands.

“Good morning,” she whispered, gently resting a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her with sad eyes and smiled, placing his own hand over hers.

“Morning.”

“Do you mind if I join you? I was just going to wash up,” she asked, not wanting to disturb his solitude.

“Please,” he invited, pulling her towards him. She sat in front of him, nestled between his legs, both of them facing the serene water. He cradled her in his arms, resting his head against hers, and they sat together, quietly gathering strength from one another.

After a few minutes, he began bathing her, tenderly washing her hair and body. He just wanted to care for her, to nurture and protect her. The old Joss would have been uneasy, resisting the unconditional love and affection, but Willie had a way of making her feel cherished, safe, adored. She knew he just wanted her to feel loved. His intentions were honorable, just like him. As soon as he finished she leaned back against his chest.

“That feels better,” she sighed. He wrapped his arms around her once more, lightly kissing the top of her crown.

“I know it isn’t much, but I wanted to do something. I feel so helpless,” he mumbled, his words choked with his own grief.

“It’s okay. I know,” she soothed, closing her eyes to stop her tears.

“I’ve been praying for him. For some kind of miracle,” he continued quietly. “I was raised to believe in God, worshipping every Sunday. I forgot how powerful it could be...faith.”

“I’m not sure what I believe, Willie. There have been days that I felt divinely guided, but right now I just feel empty. I don’t want to lose him...”

“I know...I don’t want to lose him either. I’ve grown so close to him, to all of you...”

“Shhh...” Joss interrupted, sitting forward. Willie looked at her thoughtfully, trying to understand what he’d said wrong.

“Sorry?”

“Do you hear that?” she asked, cocking her head, her eyes suddenly wide with confusion.

“What am I listening to?”

“That! Do you hear it? That humming noise?” she gushed, pulling herself out of the water. She ran to the beach and wrapped the towel around herself, Willie close on her heels.

“I do! What is that?” he laughed, raising his eyes to the sky.

“It’s a plane!” she squealed, grabbing his arm.

“It is a fucking plane! We need to get the flare gun!” he hollered, pulling her up the embankment.

“Hurry,” she choked, suddenly terrified they’d be too late to signal it. “Run!”

The hum was getting louder, closing in on their island. It seemed such a foreign sound, having been isolated from civilization for nearly two months. Had Willie not heard it too, Joss would have thought she was imagining things.

“There it is, Christ, it doesn’t see us! It’s going to pass us by!” Willie cried out, waving his hands in the air, desperate to make himself seen.

“No!” Joss screamed, waving along with him, the tightness in her throat strangling her. She felt her heart sinking into her gut as her hope quickly dissipated. It couldn’t end that way, not when they were so close, not when Ryan needed it the most.

“It’s too late...” she cried, just as a shot rang out, scattering the hundreds of birds that had been resting in the jungle trees.