Chapter 14

Razz

The day has arrived for our trip to Florida for Christmas. The kids are excited to see Isabella, Danny, Rafe, Mitchell, Trent and Gavin. I’m excited to be away from Cumming for a bit, so I can focus on the kids and me. Being close to something you can almost touch, but can’t have is like being thirteen all over again. The loss has yet to send me into a depression and if I didn’t have the kids, I’d probably still be in bed with my head buried in the pillows.

The night after Sadie’s visit and destruction of my Tahoe’s tires, we got two surprise visitors. Poison and Banshee. They’ve become our watchdogs. At first, I was leery of them. It wasn’t because they were big and burly bikers, but because I wasn’t well acquainted with them. The most I’d heard about them was that they were two of the first people that Greer connected with and trusting Greer’s judgment of people, I let the cards fall where they may.

I didn’t want to admit that we possibly needed protection from Sadie and the possible threats she could lead our way, but I relented. Sadie can be ruthless when you get in her way. If it was just me, I’d probably have sent them packing. I expected them to go back to Blairsville when we left to go to Florida, but I was dead wrong. Poison and Banshee were joining us on our family vacation.

Eight hours and so many minutes later, we’re in Florida. Poison and Banshee take our bags upstairs and I go to the kitchen. The kids are outside playing with the other kids as us adults get everything situated. Before I can open the refrigerator, a beautiful bouquet of pink and white lilies with daisies is on the island. They smell magnificent. I take the little card attached and open it. My heart begins to pump faster than it has in the past couple of weeks.

Razzle Dazzle,

I cannot tell you how much I’ve missed you and the kids over the last two weeks. My morning’s gray without you and my days slowly fade into black. This is temporary and I hope that you believe that. You gave me a taste of the life I’ve always wanted and I’m not willing to give that away easily. This will be over soon and we will be getting married and I will be adopting Emerson and Xander along with you. I need you to understand that our US is still an us even though we are apart. We are an US regardless of the time and distance that separates us.

I love you and only you.

US always,

Tanner

The clearing of a throat has me spinning around to find the honey-colored behemoth standing in the doorway. The expression on my face sends Poison on full alert.

“What’s wrong?” He moves towards the flowers.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. They’re from Trigger.” He nods as though he understands.

“Okay. So why the tears?”

I wipe my face and feel the wetness. “Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. I know what it feels like to want something so badly that it hurts, but you never really seem to get it.” I nod. “My foster parents used to talk about how they fell in love and the one thing I remember them saying was telling me that sometimes the greatest loves of our lives come about during a time when we’re unable to accept them.”

“I’ve lived that for years. I’ve loved Trigger since I was a little girl. He was my best friend and then he wasn’t. So I believe what you mean about not being able to be accepted. I’ve lived it and now I’m living it again with the hope that it’ll change for the better.”

“One day I hope that I’m as close to that goal as you are, but right now, it isn’t the right time.”

“I hope you conquer your great love too.”

He chuckles. “I will even if I have to take it.”

The kids barrel in the front door, feet pounding and Emerson screaming about a sleepover. She’s missed Trigger the most. He was her rock to lean on and then he was gone. She’s asked plenty of questions about when he’s coming back and I don’t want to get her hopes up, so I just tell her soon. No date. No timeline. Just soon.

I agree to a sleepover since I have Poison and Banshee as backup. There’s nothing better than eight kids under one roof. I may have lost my mind but I’d do anything to keep the smiles on their faces and their laughter ringing in my ears. At least if their happy, I know I’m doing something right or at least I hope.

***

Banging. Why is there always banging in the morning? Banging. Are they calling my name? Banging. More banging.

“Razz, get up. We’ve got company.” Banshee’s muffled voice comes through my bedroom door.

What the fuck? I just wanted to sleep in. “Be there in a minute.” I grumble.

Pulling myself together, I grab my robe and look at the clock. It’s barely nine in the morning. I go to the bathroom and handle my business, peeing and brushing my teeth. I don’t even worry about my hair. Whoever it is can kiss my ass. Their lucky I brushed my teeth. Slowly making my way down the steps, I see a nervous Ruth at the front door.

“Ruth. I wasn’t expecting you today.”

“I wasn’t expecting to come here today, but we need to sit down and have a talk.”

“Okay, come into the kitchen.” She follows me and takes a seat at the table. I pour myself a cup of coffee. “Would you like some coffee?” I glance over my shoulder at her while she pulls papers out of her bag.

“No, I’m good. Thank you though.”

I sit across from Ruth. “So what do I owe the pleasure?”

She passes me a sheet of paper. Glancing over it, I see it’s a complaint of negligence against me regarding the kids. I search the document for the complainant and wouldn’t you know, it’s anonymous.

“I’m sorry to have to do this, but I need to see the kids, as well as do a house check again.” I nod unable to speak. “If you could allow a place where I can speak with them privately.”

“Sure.”

I take Ruth to the basement where all eight kids are still sleeping. I nudge Xander. As his eyes flutter open, he stares at me and then the sweetest grin smooths over his lips. He looks behind me and the grin falls.

“It’s okay, Xander. Can you get your sister?” He nods and rolls over to where Emerson is tucked into Isabella. She rouses. “Come on, baby. We need to go upstairs so you two can have a talk with Ms. Ruth and then I’ll make breakfast for everyone.”

The kids trudge up the stairs sluggishly. Once at the top, I take their hands and lead them to the couch. I kneel in front of them and speak quietly. “Listen to me. Ms. Ruth just needs to talk to you for a little bit and then you’ll be able to get up and go play. I’ll be right outside on the front porch. If you need me at anytime, all you have to do is yell and I’ll be right here.”

“Razzy,” Emerson whispers, “I can help with breakfast, right?” Leave it to Emerson to have a one track mind.

“Yeah baby. You’ll help me make breakfast.”

“Isabella too?”

“Of course.” I hug them tightly and make my way outside.

When the door shuts behind me, I release the frustrated breath I was holding. Heading to my rocking chair, I sit next to Banshee who is in the chair beside me drinking his coffee. Poison is leaning against the railing talking quietly on his phone. We sit in silence until Poison interrupts the rage beginning to boil in my veins.

“I called Brute. He’s going to relay the message to Rudy.”

I nod. “That isn’t necessary. Those kids are not neglected and Ruth will see that. There has to be actually proof and there is none. This is just a complication of loving Trigger.”

Banshee pipes in. “You think Sadie had something to do with this.”

“Yep. Who else wants to hurt me? She’s the only person to threaten me with Emerson and Xander. Apparently, something isn’t going her way in Cumming and as much as I should be thrilled, I’m not because all its doing is pushing her harder to come after me anyway possible.”

We let our thoughts consume us until the front door opens and closes softly. Poison and Banshee head into the house so I can talk to Ruth.

“I’m really sorry Raquel for ruining your morning, but when a complaint comes in we have to followup.”

“I understand.”

“The kids have progressed nicely considering a month ago.”

“Yeah, they’ve been a blessing. Xander is doing awesome in school and Emerson has turned into a little diva. She has dance classes on Thursdays and she has a pony that she’s learning to ride.”

Ruth giggles. “She told me all about Peppa and Xander told me about Thor. Look, just talking with them I know that they are not abused and I know deep down that you’d never do anything to hurt them, so with that said I will report it as a false report. But I have to warn you that this could happen again.”

“I understand, but at what point will the false reports end. I mean is there a limit on the amount of time a person can claim I’m neglecting them to the point where I can press charges for slander and harassment.”

“We have ways of guaranteeing that false accusations are tagged and then we deal with them. I’ve made a note for this visit and I’ll continue to do so. Usually three false claims resort in us going after the claimant.” She places her hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Raquel, you’re doing great with those two. Don’t worry about this and just focus on them. I think you promised breakfast and they were running downstairs to wake up the others.”

I laugh. “Thanks, Ruth. Have a good day.” I say as I walk back into the chaos that is my house with eight kids wanting to be fed.

“You too, dear.”