CHAPTER SEVEN
“SO SEAN ISN’T leaving. Bad news for Tyler because he’ll lose his bet with Jackson.” Kayla ran with her phone in her hand, slowing occasionally as she checked her emails. “And bad news for Jackson, because Sean keeps borrowing his clothes.”
And bad news for me, Élise thought, because Sean would be right under my nose until the party.
Their encounter the night before had tested her willpower to its limits.
With him, it was almost impossible to keep her emotions under control. First, there had been the anger and frustration that he’d misunderstood Walter so badly, then real sympathy as he’d reluctantly confessed to the row.
He’d accused her of not understanding.
She understood everything.
More than he could possibly know.
She stopped running for a moment, emotion slamming into her and driving her breath from her body.
It had been years, but still the feelings would rush at her out of nowhere. Guilt and grief could still cut her off at the knees. It was because she’d never resolved it. Never been given the opportunity to resolve it.
And of course, it was her fault. All of it. Everything that had happened was because she’d made bad decisions.
Ahead of her, Kayla stopped and pulled her earbuds from her ears. “Are you all right? Did Walter upset you last night? He was in a feisty mood.”
“He didn’t upset me. I was relieved to see him home.”
“Sean got the brunt of it. As always.” Kayla put her earbuds back in and carried on running.
Élise followed, wondering about the argument between Sean and his grandfather. If it had been on the day of the funeral then presumably it was something to do with his father.
And it had obviously been significant.
Because of it, he hardly came home and because he hardly came home his grandfather grew more and more upset with him.
She understood all too well how that cycle could occur.
Sometimes it was easier to let an argument simmer than resolve it. Sometimes the emotions were so thick, you couldn’t cut through them. You told yourself you’d solve it later. That you’d wait for a better time. But sometimes, that time didn’t come.
She knew. It had happened to her.
Her pace slowed.
Despite the exercise, she felt cold.
All she’d thought about through the winter months was finishing the boathouse and contributing to Snow Crystal. It was vitally important to her. But now all she could think about was the rift between Sean and his grandfather.
They needed to mend whatever had broken between them. If that meant having Sean around for a little longer, she’d cope with that.
She increased her pace, overtaking both of her friends as they headed around the lake and ended up at the boathouse just as the sun rose above the trees.
There was no sign of Sean. She told herself that the sudden lift in her pulse rate was due to the exercise, not the thought of him working on the deck.
“Is Tyler bringing anyone to the party?” Kayla caught up with her and pulled the top off her water bottle. “Because if he has a plus one, I need to know. Bren? You work with him.”
“I don’t know anything about his sex life, if that’s what you’re asking me, but knowing Tyler it’s probably pretty active,” Brenna said flatly. “I need to get on. I’ll see you later.”
Élise watched as Brenna sprinted across the deck, sprang over a pile of planks and disappeared down the forest trail.
Kayla took a mouthful of her water. “I’ve never seen myself as cupid, but if I had an arrow I’d shoot Tyler in that perfectly formed butt of his—or derrière as you probably say.”
“Butt works for me. Perhaps the party will help. The two of them will be together in the same place at the same time and we can let nature do the rest.”
“From what people say she and Tyler have been in the same place at the same time for most of their lives.” Kayla finished her water. “Nature’s been pretty idle so far.”
“So she needs a bit of a push. What’s Brenna wearing?”
“Knowing Brenna, probably ski pants,” Kayla said dryly. “And anyway, I think it may be Tyler that needs the push. I’ll find out if he’s bringing anyone. He’s been behaving himself since Jess came to live with him. Six months of behaving like a monk. The guy must be going crazy.” She bent to adjust her running shoe and paused. “Well, well.”
“Well what?”
“This is a button from one of Jackson’s shirts.” Picking it up, she turned it over in her fingers and glanced pointedly at Élise who felt heat streak across her cheeks.
Hoping her friend would blame her high color on the exercise, she shrugged. “So? Sean has been working hard on the deck.”
“So hard he tore the buttons from his shirt? From what I’ve heard, he wasn’t wearing a shirt for most of the time. According to Poppy the view from the boathouse has improved considerably in the last couple of days. She’s going to start selling tickets.”
“I wouldn’t know. I have been too busy to look. And talking of busy—” She started to walk toward the boathouse but Kayla caught her arm.
“Sean is gorgeous. Clever, sophisticated, seriously sexy—why not have a fling?”
Because one night was all she ever allowed herself.
“We had one. It was over last summer.”
“Are you sure?” Kayla turned the button in her fingers. “Because it doesn’t look over to me.”
* * *
“SO YOU’RE NOT LEAVING?” Jackson had a mug of coffee in one hand and a slice of toast in the other. “Does Gramps know?”
“Not yet. I’m just on my way to undo the work on the deck so I can start again.”
Jackson raised his eyebrows. “I’m sure that makes sense to someone.”
“I need an excuse to stay here. Gramps is sending me away because he’s feeling vulnerable.” And he should have been the one to see that. Instead, he’d been blinded by his own complex emotions. “Helping with the deck is the only thing I could come up with. I have to try and make it seem like it’s a massive job for me.”
“Maybe that won’t be so hard given how long it is since you did any manual labour.”
“What do you think I do in the operating room?”
“No idea. Make eyes at Venus?”
“She’s a neurologist. She doesn’t work in the operating room.” Sean helped himself to an apple from the bowl. “If I’m going to be staying, you need to get more fruit in your house. And vegetables. There are no vegetables in your fridge. Whatever happened to your five a day?”
“If you want to find vegetables when you open the fridge then you can put them there yourself. And if you’re staying you need to go home and pack some clothes. I’m sick of you stealing my shirts.” Jackson finished his toast and topped up his coffee. “So you’re staying for Gramps.”
“That and the view.”
His brother sent him a look. “Just as long as the reason you’re hanging around here has nothing to do with my chef.”
“It’s because of her I agreed to help with the damn Boathouse in the first place. She’s obsessed with opening on time so she doesn’t let you down. What’s that about? Have you suddenly started beating the staff?” Sean finished the apple. “Or is this intense loyalty more personal than that?”
“It’s the way she is. She cares deeply about her work. She’s loyal. She knows our financial situation is far from stable and she values her job.”
“We both know that with Chez Laroche on her résumé, she could get a job anywhere. You’re lucky to have her.”
“She’s worked for me for a long time.” Jackson’s expression revealed nothing. “We’ve been friends for years.”
“Just friends? You first met her in Paris. So did you...?”
“No.” His brother’s voice hardened. “We didn’t. And you’re not going to, either. This is her home. I won’t let you threaten that.”
“Why would I threaten it?”
“Because you mess with women’s heads,” Jackson said irritably. “For some reason I’ve never managed to understand, they fall in love with you and go a little crazy when you don’t love them back. I cleared up that mess plenty growing up, I’m not doing it again.”
“I don’t create mess. You’re mixing me up with Tyler.”
“No, I’m not. Tyler is like a bear. You see him coming. A smart woman will step out of the way. But you? You’re different. You’re all smooth charm and slick words. I see their eyes cross and then they start walking funny and the next moment they’re crying on my shoulder because you’re too focused on your work to notice them. I don’t have enough shirts left to take it.”
“I still don’t understand why you describe this as Élise’s home. Sure, she’s living and working here now but she’s talented. One day she’ll move on. That’s inevitable.”
“If she moves on it will be because she’s made that choice, not because she was left with no alternative because my twin brother fucked it up and made it awkward for her to stay.”
She’d been in some sort of trouble.
It was the only thing that could explain such a fierce response from his protector brother.
“Maybe you don’t need to worry about her.” He thought about the night before. She’d shown more control than him. And then she’d walked away. “She doesn’t strike me as the sort of woman who falls in love easily. She’s very independent. Similar to me in many ways.”
“There isn’t a single way in which she’s similar to you.” Jackson thumped his empty mug onto the counter.
Yes, there was.
Sean thought of the way her hands had slid up his back, the way her mouth had burned against his. “Maybe I’m exactly what she needs.”
“No woman in her right mind needs you. And I’ve grown out of comforting girls who thought they were in love with you.”
“Did you really do that?”
“All the time. They were lining up from eighth grade. I was the good twin, you were the bad twin. My shirt was permanently wet from all the tears.” Jackson picked up the milk and put it back in the fridge. “I don’t care how you run your love life, but stay away from Élise.”
Sean decided not to mention they were well past that.
Instead, he made his way to the Boathouse to start undoing the work he’d done the day before.
His grandfather arrived at midday, driven by Tyler who was on his way to take a family of six on a guided hike on one of the trails.
Before Sean could stand up and offer help, Élise was there, helping Walter to a table in the shade by the water on the side of the deck that was finished.
Sean watched her, his head full of questions. He wanted to know why Jackson acted like a guard dog around her. And he wanted to know what the hell she was doing in a place like Snow Crystal when she could have been working in Paris. He knew she was talented. He’d eaten her food and seen her passion. She could have worked anywhere, and yet she’d worked for his brother for eight years.
He watched as she slid her hand over his grandfather’s and squeezed. Saw his grandfather return the gesture, his weathered face softening.
Sean tried to think of a time he’d seen his grandfather’s face soften before.
Only with his grandmother, and occasionally his mother and Jess.
Even with Jackson he was blunt and direct.
“I will bring you a drink to enjoy and then one of the new staff will take your order.” Élise rested her hand lightly on his shoulder. “You will tell me what you think of the menu and together we will refine it so that it is perfect. Does it feel good to be home?”
Walter’s hand trembled. “It feels good.”
Sean realized he never thought of his grandfather as frail. Even in the hospital he’d been feisty, barking out orders and refusing to let people make a fuss. But watching him with Élise he saw frailty.
He knew he ought to say something.
They needed to talk about that day of the funeral.
This was as good a time as any, and as good a place. The fact that there were other people around might stop his grandfather from exploding.
Élise walked off and Sean stood up and straightened his shoulders. “Gramps—”
Walter’s gaze met his. “You’re still here? If you’re waiting for me to drop dead you’re going to be here a long time.”
If there was frailty, it was hidden again. Hidden behind layers of fear and fierce determination. Without Élise forcing him to look beneath the surface, he would have missed it.
“Glad to hear it, because I’m off duty. I’m here to finish the deck so that this place can open on time. Seems a shame to cancel a good party. We don’t have that many around here.”
“You wouldn’t have come to the party. You would have been busy. With you, work always comes before everything. Even your family.”
Sean’s gut settled into a tight knot. The impulse to talk about the row vanished. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
Walter looked around him. “Not much progress since I left.”
Sean thought of all the work he’d undone and almost laughed. “Yeah. Going slowly.”
“It’s because you’re out of practice. If you spent more time here, you’d be better at it.”
And that, Sean thought, was how not to mend a row.
Gritting his teeth, he got on with the job, his mind occupied with the task of making the work last four days.
He told himself it was worth swallowing his pride and enduring the digs and comments to watch over his grandfather. Worth it to see his grandmother more relaxed.
And worth it to watch Élise.
She arrived back at the table with a tray of drinks and freshly baked pastries and Sean saw his grandfather smile at her.
The smile tugged at him.
Hell, was he really so desperate for his grandfather’s approval?
Was he six years old?
Exasperated with himself, Sean turned away and focused his attention on the work that needed to be done, working at a snail’s pace on the unfinished deck as the sun burned his shoulders.
The doctors in the hospital had told him his grandfather hadn’t been eating much but Élise tempted him with tiny portions of his favorite food and sat with him while he ate it. She coaxed him, mouthful by mouthful, encouraging him to tell her stories about growing up at Snow Crystal. Sean worked with only half an eye on what he was doing, distracted by the tantalizing swing of that mahogany hair so close to that curving mouth.
The dimple was back, dancing in the corner of her mouth, and humor lit up her eyes.
Watching her with his grandfather, Sean saw a different side of her. With him she was always on her guard. With his grandfather she was softer and more open. It was clear she adored him.
And it made him realize even more how little of herself she’d given to him.
Sex, he thought. That was what she’d given him.
And that suited him just fine. That was all he wanted, wasn’t it?
He swore as he almost removed the tip of his finger and caught his grandfather’s eye.
“Don’t worry,” he muttered. “A sawn-off finger is something I can fix, remember?”
The café was a hive of activity as everyone worked to get the place ready for opening.
Poppy walked past carrying a stack of boxes and sent him a dazzling smile. “Good morning, Sean.”
Remembering Jackson’s comments about breaking hearts and wet shirts, Sean kept his response suitably neutral.
After a morning working in the sun he was thirsty and hungry. He was about to offer to drive his grandfather the short distance back to his house, when Tyler turned up to do it.
Fed up with working at a snail’s pace under his grandfather’s scorching glare, Sean sat down in a chair by the water’s edge.
A moment later Élise put a tray in front of him. “Grilled panini, Green Mountain ham and local cheddar. Enjoy.”
He’d expected her to go straight back to work but she sat down opposite him and poured them both glasses of iced water.
“Is Walter always like that with you or is it because of the row?”
He bit into the panini, wondering what had possessed him to mention the row to her when he hadn’t even told Jackson. “Friendly, you mean? Yeah. He adores me, can’t you tell?” He chewed and decided it was worth putting up with a month of his grandfather griping at him to eat Élise’s food.
“He does adore you. When you’re not here, he talks about you constantly.” She was frowning as she tried to work it out. “But for some reason he doesn’t show it. He isn’t a man who shows his affections easily, but still—”
Affection?
Sean almost laughed. “He has expectations. I don’t fit them. Every time he sees me he remembers what a disappointment I am.” He took another bite of the panini. “And the fight didn’t help.”
“So instead of fixing it, you stay away? What sort of twisted logic is that? It makes no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense to me. It’s easier on everyone if I keep my distance. I thought it might calm things down.”
Her gaze slid to his. “For a while I was worried the reason you stayed away was because of last summer.” Her tone was ultra casual. “I was afraid it might have made you feel awkward.”
“It didn’t.”
“You so rarely came home.”
“What about you?” Why hadn’t that possibility occurred to him? “Did it make you feel awkward?”
“Not at the time, but afterward?” She turned her head and stared across the lake. “Afterward I wondered if it was a mistake. I wouldn’t want to come between you and your family. If I thought that was the case, I would leave right now.”
The remark was so typical of her. All or nothing.
He couldn’t help smiling. “Before the Boathouse opens? Wouldn’t that be letting Jackson down?”
“Yes, but nothing is more important than family. Nothing. I could not ever come between you.” Her voice was fierce and he saw her knuckles whiten as she gripped the glass in her hand.
“Relax. The reason I don’t come home often has nothing to do with you. It’s mostly work pressure.”
“Mostly, but not all.” She thumped the glass down on the table. “When are you going to fix things with your grandfather?”
He didn’t tell her he’d been about to do exactly that when Walter had laid into him. “I’ll do it when the time is right.”
“That time should be now.” Something shimmered in her eyes and she blinked, stood up and reached for his empty plate. “Do you want more?”
He caught her hand. “Why should I do it now?”
“Because a conversation as important as that should never be postponed.” Her voice was husky and he wondered why she cared so much about his relationship with his grandfather.
“I’ll wait until he’s stronger.”
She pulled her hand away impatiently and cleared the table. “The problem is that you are both so alike and neither of you can see it.”
“Alike?” He was genuinely astonished at the suggestion. “We’re not alike. I am nothing like my grandfather.”
“You both have a passion about something and that is all you see. With him it is Snow Crystal, for you it is your job.”
“That’s different.”
“How is it different? You are both single-minded in the pursuit of what you want. You both find it hard to compromise. It is perhaps not so surprising that you clash.”
He’d only ever thought about the differences. Never about the similarities.
“We clash because families always clash.” How could she think he was like his grandfather? It was ridiculous of her to suggest it. “All families are complicated.”
“Are they?”
“Isn’t yours? You don’t have warring uncles or disapproving grandparents? Come on—there has to be someone you avoid at family gatherings.”
“There are no gatherings.”
Sean lowered his glass, watching her hair shimmer in the sunlight. “You’re not close to your family?”
“I don’t have a family.” Reaching out, she took the empty glass from his fingers. “I’ll take that if you’ve finished.”
“You talked about your mother. You told me she was your inspiration.”
“She was. She died when I was eighteen.” She balanced the glasses on the plates. “I need to get back to work. There’s still lots to do here.”
“Wait a minute.” He tried to imagine a life that wasn’t crowded with siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. True, they drove him crazy half the time but he couldn’t imagine a life without them. “There’s no one?”
“That’s right. Just me. But I’m very happy so you don’t need to wear your concerned doctor face. I am surrounded by people I care about and who care about me. And I borrow your family. I love them very much.” She gave a faint smile. “You should fix this thing with your grandfather. Whatever it is that keeps you away from Snow Crystal, you should mend it.”
“What keeps you away from Paris?”
“I have no reason to go back. My life is here. This is my home.”
He noticed she didn’t describe it as her job. “There’s a difference between not going back and staying away.”
Her eyes met his. He saw shock there and something else he couldn’t interpret and then it was gone.
“Are you really going to lecture me on going home when you can hardly remember the last time you were here? Fix things with your grandfather. Don’t wait.”
Without giving him the chance to extend the conversation, she quietly picked up the empty jug and the glasses and walked back across the deck toward the kitchen.
* * *
SHE’D LIED.
She told him she had no family and strictly speaking that wasn’t true, was it?
There was someone.
Someone she had cut out of her life.
Someone she tried not to think about.
Feeling sick and shaky, Élise removed a tray of perfectly cooked blueberry muffins from the oven and put them to cool alongside the croissants and the pains au chocolate.
Why was he suddenly asking questions?
Their relationship was supposed to be fun and flirty. Casual. She hadn’t expected him to shift the conversation to personal. Sean was well-known for not taking his relationships to another level. It was one of the reasons she’d felt comfortable with him.
“Mmm, they look delicious.” Poppy appeared next to her, stocking cupboards with ingredients. “I love this kitchen so much. It’s so much more cozy than the one in the restaurant.”
The kitchen in the Boathouse was on a smaller scale than the main restaurant, but Élise had made sure it was sufficiently equipped to ensure they could run the café from there.
“I’m testing the ovens.” She broke open a croissant, examined the texture and then sniffed it and tasted it, thinking of Walter and Sean rather than herself.
They were trapped in a cycle that neither would break because neither would take that first step forward. And she understood that all too well because she’d done the same thing herself.
She’d assumed there would be time to fix things.
She’d been wrong.
Pain shot through her and for a moment she stood there, trying to shift the darkness of her past.
It depressed her that talking about Paris did that to her, even after all this time.
“Is something wrong?” Poppy was still unpacking boxes. “You look stressed out, but it’s all going smoothly, isn’t it? We’re on track?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m not stressed out.”
At least, she shouldn’t be.
She hadn’t been back to Paris in eight years. There were days when she didn’t even think about it. About him.
It was in her past and that was where it was staying. At one time it had dominated her life. Now, she didn’t allow it that much importance. Which was why she never discussed it with anyone.
But Sean had noticed.
Just a little slip on her part, but he’d picked up on it.
Poppy cast her a worried glance. “You’re probably stressed out by the last-minute rush to finish the deck. It’s brilliant that he’s helping out, of course, but if Dr. Scorching Hot is going to spend the whole week with his shirt off, I’m telling you now I’m going to have to take a swim in that lake.” She pushed tins and containers neatly into the cupboard and closed the door. “How about you, Chef? Does it affect your concentration having him out there?”
“No. As long as he finishes the work, I don’t care what he’s wearing.”
Poppy stared at her in amazement and Élise realized it would have been wiser to laugh, joke and admit that yes, Sean O’Neil was a sexy guy.
Pretending otherwise had simply drawn attention to herself when she’d been hoping to deflect it.
“I suppose I’m just too busy to notice.”
“Right.” Poppy turned her incredulous gaze back to unpacking boxes and Élise knew she’d been about as convincing as she’d been when she’d told Sean she didn’t think of Paris.