Chapter Nineteen
One Week Later
Kirsty
It's been three weeks since Sergio saved me from Hell and a week since I saw the picture of Bruno J on Theo's computer. After spending the day talking with Brooklyn and Katherine, I was determined not to be a scared little girl anymore. Later that night, I headed down to the home gym where Sergio was punching a bag. Instead of standing in the doorway watching, I moved toward him and asked him if he would teach me to fight. He was reluctant at first but I explained, I didn't want to feel weak, I wanted to be able to defend myself if it was needed and he finally agreed.
The first two sessions, he taught me simple moves so if anyone grabbed me I'd be able to get free. After showing me a move and going over and over it for an hour, he'd declare I was tired and send me to bed.
He seemed abrupt, pre-occupied and I became curious after the third session. I waited for him to get in the shower and crept to the door. He was moaning and I wondered if he was hurt but, as I was about to push open the door I heard him grunt and groan my name. I froze in place for a moment before scurrying back up to bed where I pretended to be asleep. He crawled into bed and wrapped me in his arms as if I was the most precious being in the world. It broke my heart and I hurt, knowing I was causing him to suffer because I was scared to let him touch me in that way.
Every night since, for the past week, I've listened to him while he showered and become hot and achy. Last night, I lowered my fingers and touched myself, I was soaking wet just from listening to his moans. I was confused by the way my body was reacting after so much abuse and wasn't sure what I should do. As I'm not allowed to leave the house, I called Brooklyn and asked her to come over so we could have lunch together and chat. Sergio and Theo are hunched over the computer at the dining table, still searching for answers. I've found a recipe book in the kitchen, I've never cooked before but how hard could it be? I place the book on the bench, lean over and flick through the pages until my eyes are drawn to the window and through to the back yard.
"Sugar, what are you doing?" Sergio's deep, honeyed voice never ceases to send shivers of want down my spine.
He wraps his arms around me and I relax into his hold, the warmth of his body seeping through me.
"I'm going to make lunch."
"You were staring through the window; do you want to go and lie in the sun? I can make something for lunch."
"I love how you care for me, Knuckles."
He throws his head back on a deep, full body laugh at the nickname I gave him when he first started training me. I bite my lip, his laughter soothes me, my body tingles. Actually, everything he says and does has this effect on me. I clench my thighs against the ache in my groin.
He holds me tighter and unlike three weeks ago when I would have flinched and pushed him away, I encourage his hold. I accept his touch now, in actual fact, I crave it. He's pressed up against me and if he's noticed me clenching my thighs, he doesn't say anything.
I turn my face up to him. "I want to do it." When his eyes widen, I realize what he thinks I've said. Shit! "I want to cook," I rush out before turning back to the window.
Sergio turns my face toward him and plants a soft kiss on my lips. "Okay, Sugar. If you need help, call out."
I nod my head and he kisses me again before crossing the room back to Theo. I rake my eyes over his body, from head to his sexy ass, I notice he walks with a swagger. The ache intensifies so, I return my attention to the cookbook on the bench and search for something which sounds easy. A quiche recipe leaps out at me, it looks easy enough and sounds delicious. Quiche it is.
***
"Wow that was delicious." Brooklyn sips at her glass of water and rubs a hand over her pregnant belly.
A smile pulls at my lips and I feel proud that I could actually pull it off. "Thank you." I stand, gather the dishes and cross to the sink.
"So, what do you wanna talk about?
I dart my eyes to where Sergio and Theo are engrossed in the computer, shake my head slightly and indicate the back door.
Brooklyn takes my meaning, picks up her glass and follows me outside.
"How do you feel about not having to use a cane anymore?"
We sit on the chairs of the outside setting under a large umbrella.
She laughs. "Dominic still treats me like I might break but it feels good being able to move around without having to use a cane to lean on."
"I bet."
"So, enough with the diversion, what's going on?" She sighs, leans back in her chair and takes a mouthful of water. I watch as she places the glass on the table and I stare at the condensation as it runs down the side whilst I fidget with my own glass.
"Kirsty?"
I snap my eyes up to hers and blow out a breath when I see the concern in her eyes.
"I just…." Shit this is harder than I thought. Just rip off the Band-Aid, I chant to myself and suck in a deep breath. "I feel achy," I blurt out and lower my head. Fuck, that's not exactly what I meant to say.
"Achy how?" I swear I see panic in her eyes when I look back up.
"Not bad achy." I reassure her. "I mean, down there. I feel achy whenever Sergio is near me." I look her straight in the eyes, hoping she understands.
I watch as she realizes what I'm saying and her eyes widen.
"Do you want him to touch you?" she asks softly.
"I..um…I think I do."
"Then sweety, if you think you're ready, you should talk to Sergio. Tell him how you feel."
"How did you know you were ready after what had happened."
"I'm going to be honest with you. It was different for me. I don't remember the night I was raped, only what he did to me after that." Brooklyn breathes out heavily and closes her eyes.
I feel bad for asking her to relive her past. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
"Kirsty, the best thing you can do is talk about what happened to you. If you try to push it away, deny it, it will consume you and you'll never feel free or at peace. The first time Dom touched me, it felt like my body was on fire. I'd never felt anything like it before and knowing he felt the same made it special. I couldn't stop how I felt and even if it had been an option, I wouldn't have. Dom loved me from the first time he laid eyes on me and knowing that made the fall for me worthwhile. When we made love the first time, the Earth shifted, opened up and showed me he was the man I was always meant to be with." Brooklyn has a smile on her face now.
"When Sergio touched you for the first time, how did it make you feel?"
I don't have to think about the answer, it's on the tip of my tongue. "I felt hope and it was like all my nerves had short circuited. When he stopped touching me, I felt an overwhelming sense of loss. I wanted his arms around me, I wanted to be touched, needed it. He made me feel like I was home." I let out a deep breath and gaze up at the bright sun. smiling when a light breeze lifts my hair. God, I love being outside. I jolt at the sudden contact when Brooklyn places her hand over mine and laughs.
"What's so funny?"
"The expression on your face as you relived Sergio's first touch all over again."
"Do you think it's too soon after everything?" It's a question which has played on a loop in my head, a question I haven't been able to answer.
"Do you trust Sergio?"
"With my life." I don't need time to answer that question.
"Then let him help you to feel, to love."
Her words soak into me and I nod. I wonder though, if I have the courage to allow him in. Deep down I know he wants to protect me and he's shown me so much patience and kindness. I know in my very bones, he would never hurt me.
I want to feel. I want to love. I want him to help me.