Chapter Eleven
SALLY AWOKE TO Gage whispering, “Good morning, Mrs. Ryder. How’s my beautiful wife?” followed by his loving hands and mouth all over her body. After enjoying each other, they had a leisurely breakfast in the hotel restaurant. Then they purchased ski pants at the shop in the resort, rented skis, and sat on a bench outside the equipment building to put them on. Sunshine brought warmer temperatures, but that wasn’t the cause of Sally’s perspiration. As she secured her bindings, the sights and sounds of skiers brought an onslaught of emotions. Dave had been skiing with Blake when he’d gone off alone to ski Little Hellion, one of the most dangerous slopes in Allure. Although Dave had been an expert freestyle skier, visibility was low on that fateful snowy night. He must have misjudged the angle and distance of his jump and landed in the trees. His neck was broken on impact, and he was killed instantly.
Gage squeezed her hand. His compassionate eyes searched hers. “Babe, we don’t have to do this. I don’t care if I never go skiing again.”
She inhaled a ragged breath and gazed out at the mountains, remembering how she and Dave had taught Rusty to ski when he was four years old. Skiing had always been a part of their lives, at least until Rusty hit his teenage years and decided doing anything with his parents was uncool.
“I care,” she admitted. “I used to love skiing, and even though I’m so nervous I feel like I might pass out, I need to do this and put this fear behind me. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I need to do it for Dave and Rusty as much as for me and you. Once I get past this, it’ll open a door for Rusty that I think he needs. Even if he doesn’t ever want to ski again, at least he’ll know it won’t make his mother sad if he decides to follow in his father’s footsteps. That’s the whole reason I’ve held on to Dave’s share of the business. It’s all for Rusty.”
“Babe, don’t ever worry about me taking things wrong. You had a whole life before me with a man who loved you, and you had a child together. If Stacy hadn’t done what she’d done, I might have had the same thing—with a woman, that is—and probably the baggage of divorce. I’m glad you were loved, and I’m glad Rusty is in my life. I’ll never see him as anything less than however much of a son he’ll allow himself to be to me. I want to be with you, and that means accepting your love for Dave, being by your side, and doing whatever it takes to keep you and Rusty safe and happy.”
She hurt knowing he had to even think about her loving anyone else, but starting over was complicated, and she was glad he understood. She finished securing her bindings. The feel of the skis beneath her feet brought an unexpected sense of euphoria. She’d forgotten how skiing had that effect on her. She wanted the freedom to enjoy doing this again without Dave’s death overshadowing her.
Overshadowing us.
“I appreciate that, Gage. I am happy. I’m just nervous. It’s not like I think I’m going to ski off the mountain or get hurt. It’s just that when I look at the slopes, it all comes back to me. But I don’t want to spend the rest of our lives with skiing being mine and Dave’s thing, and honestly, I don’t want memories of Dave always living between us. I’m glad we’re doing this, and talking about it, and I know we’ll have times that Dave will be brought up when Rusty’s around and even when he’s not. That part of my life will always be special, but it’s been more than five years. I want to find what’s yours and mine. There’s a big mountain in front of us. I think we should take one final goodbye run down the slopes and then create our own memories.”
“You can’t imagine how much I love you right this second.” Gage embraced her.
“I have a great imagination,” she teased. “I bet if I climb into your lap I won’t have to imagine anything.”
“Hell, baby. Thinking about you on my lap turns me on. What did you have in mind for creating our memories, sexy Sally?”
Laughter fell from her lips. “Gee, I don’t know, gorgeous Gage.”
“We could find a cave and test out our body heat.”
“That sounds cold, and you know…” She lowered her voice and arched a brow. “You might experience shrinkage.”
He scoffed and took her in a passionate kiss that heated her up all over again.
“Baby, Alaska isn’t cold enough to make that happen when I’m with you. Hell, no place is.”
“I think we should go to Alaska one day. Just to test your theory, of course.”
“Ah. My girl still wants to travel.” He brushed his lips over her cheek and said, “I knew I saw that in your eyes.”
“Not for weeks on end or anything. Just…” She shrugged. “To see what’s out there. Now that Rusty’s older, I can actually go away like this without worrying so much. Wouldn’t you like to travel a little more?”
“With you? Absolutely. But for today, how about that cave?”
“I was thinking of something clothed. Like toboggans or snowboards. Something where I can dominate you.”
His eyes turned volcanic. “You can dominate me anytime you want. Tie me up. Make me your sex slave.”
She rose to her feet and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him up beside her. “Let’s do this, Romeo.”
They waited in line for the chair lift, joking about various forms of domination. When the lift hit the back of Sally’s legs, she settled onto the seat and Gage put his arm around her, pulling her close.
Crisp mountain air filled her lungs and stung her cheeks. She was proud of herself for finally taking this step. She thought about Dave as the lift climbed the mountain. Nothing had made him happier than skiing. If she were honest with herself, she might admit that sometimes even she didn’t quite measure up, and that was okay. Sally had never felt the need to be his entire world the way some other women wanted to be with their spouses. She’d been happy with Dave, and she was happy with Gage. Happier?
She glanced at him, knowing she couldn’t begin to compare being married so young after six months of dating and thrust into the responsibility of child-rearing to being married accidentally with a world of experience and years of loving Gage behind her.
“You okay, bird?” Gage asked.
“Yes. I am. I’m glad we’re doing this together.”
When they reached the top of the mountain, the slope lay before them like a magic carpet, and a familiar adrenaline rush kicked in.
“You’ve got this, bird,” Gage called over to her.
She squinted against the sun, looking at him and thinking about how lucky she was. Her pulse quickened for a whole different—and better—reason. She knew she could do anything with him by her side. As she skied down the mountain, a sense of releasing the past exploded inside her, and when Gage sped past her, she raced him toward their future.
“BRR.” SALLY RUBBED her hands together as Gage opened the door to their room several hours later.
“Come here, baby.” He reached for her, rubbing her icy hands between his. “Why didn’t you tell me you were so cold?”
“I was having too much fun.”
They’d learned to snowboard, enjoyed a late lunch at the café, and spent hours practicing, taking silly pictures, and trying to learn tricks from a group of teenagers. They’d spent the afternoon making memories. Sally had been adorable, refusing to give up until she almost mastered the ollie and the nollie, which involved jumping off ramps. She blew him away with her agility and her determination.
“Let’s take a hot bath,” Gage suggested as he helped her off with her coat. “That’ll warm you right up.”
Sally disappeared into the bathroom and he filled the tub, adding vanilla-scented bubble bath and setting the champagne and glasses within reach. They’d been on a dead run since attending the conference in Vegas. A quiet evening was just what they needed. He grabbed a few condoms and set them by the tub, not altogether sure how well that idea was going to work in the tub, but hell, he was looking forward to figuring it out. He gathered candles from around the room and lit them along the windowsill. Perfect. As an afterthought, he snagged the Naughty Sex Guide and set it by the tub, and stripped down to his briefs, taking a last look at their little love nest. Something was missing.
My wife.
He saw himself smiling in his reflection in the window and had a feeling the happiness of being married to his best friend would never wear off. He gazed out at the sun skimming the horizon. He felt like a new man, with renewed purpose, since marrying Sally, and although he played it off well, he was also a man with new worries.
When he’d told his father about Stacy, his father had given him the standard lines parents doled out in painful situations. It wasn’t meant to be. It hurts now, but with time you’ll heal. And then Ned Ryder had set his large, strong hands on Gage’s shoulders, his eyes as serious as ever, and he’d said, “Son, I know you hurt more than anything right now, but do yourself a favor. Try to step back from that hurt long enough to see your years with Stacy for what they were.”
Gage hadn’t accepted what his father had wanted him to see until last night when Sally had asked him to be there with her when she skied for the first time since losing Dave. There was a world of difference between building a life with a woman who wanted you to be part of it and spending time with a woman who wanted to experience the world without any ties to bind her. It wasn’t the act of skiing, or learning to snowboard, or the way they’d cheered each other on and tumbled into the snow in a tangle of limbs and laughter. It was five years’ worth of moments culminating in a love so deep he couldn’t imagine a life without her. It was helping Sally as a friend to deal with her pain over losing her husband, trying new restaurants together, and the silly stuff, like grocery shopping and calling each other when they’d had a bad or funny dream, just to share it with the person who meant the most to them. It was shopping for presents, even if they found none, and watching movies in their comfy sweats while eating ice cream. It was working together at the center for so many years, building programs and changing lives. It was evenings spent dancing together at their friends’ and his siblings’ weddings knowing he wasn’t going to be taking her to bed that night, no matter how much he’d wanted to. Those moments had built a foundation that he and Stacy never could have had. And he knew in his heart there was no other woman on earth he could build such a remarkable future with.