Chapter Three
GAGE TOOK SALLY’S hand as they crossed the street to a path that wound through a park. She was getting used to this possessive side of him, but she was still floored by his proposal admission. Even drunk, he was a gentleman. That shouldn’t surprise her, given how he’d always treated her, but everything he was doing and saying surprised her tonight.
“Bird?” he said in a way that made her realize she’d zoned out and missed something.
“Sorry.” She shook her head to try to clear her thoughts. “Gage, why do you call me bird?”
He released her hand and put an arm around her, tucking her tight against his side, the way he did when it was cold out and they were taking a walk, or when they went to parties or weddings. Or just about anywhere. Maybe he was right. Maybe they had been sort of dating for years.
“See how you fit right there?”
“Anyone could fit here. You’re giant, and your arms are long.” But she knew not everyone fit together like they did. She remembered the first time he’d held her like that. It was after they’d gone to dinner with friends, and as they’d walked to the car, he’d put an arm around her like it was the most natural thing in the world. She hadn’t questioned it. In fact, she’d found herself hoping he’d do it more often. And then he did, again and again.
“I hate to tell you this, babe, but you’re wrong. I’ve been with other women, and not one of them fit the way we do.” He squeezed her tighter and kissed the top of her head. “You’re always curling up beside me when we watch movies and when we go to outdoor concerts. Don’t tell me you don’t feel it, too. The way my body becomes your nest when we’re out?”
Gage ducked beneath a low-hanging branch, and she ducked with him, though it was several inches over her head.
“I do not always do it.” The fib came out like a joke.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, little bird. Anyway, getting back to why I call you bird. You have this way about you. When you’re at work, you move from one thing to the next with determination. Even when you just cross the room to get something from the file cabinet, it’s like you’re on a mission from point A to point B. And when Rusty’s around, you’re always flapping your wings around him, but never getting close enough to suffocate your young. It’s like you want to wrap him up in your arms and never let him go, but now he’s a six-foot-one young man and you’re not sure how or when it’s okay to be Mom.”
He ran a hand through his hair, pausing long enough to let his observations sink in. How did he notice everything, right down to the truth about mothering her son?
“I love those things about you. And even though you are one of the strongest women I know, you have this underlying vulnerability that makes me want to hold and protect you like this.” He tightened his grip around her. “You’re my little bird. And it’s more than those things. Sometimes you catch sight of Rusty and I know you see Dave in him, because the longing in your eyes couldn’t be anything else.”
A spear of guilt sliced through her. There were moments like that, and then there were heavier moments, when she remembered the pain of finding out about Chase.
“I’m sorry. It’s not that I haven’t moved on, but sometimes it does hurt.”
“Don’t ever be sorry for missing the man you loved for so long, Sal. That’s not why I’m telling you this. You asked why I call you bird, and it’s because of all these things. Usually during those times, when you’re hurting, you look around for me, or sidle closer, like you need to know I’m there. I don’t ever want to take away what you had with Dave. I want you to feel everything you need or want to feel, and I want to be the man you turn to in those times and every other time. But there’s more behind the endearment.”
Her heart was beating so fast, she settled in a little closer to him. “What else?” As they followed the path around the park, she didn’t want their time together to end. She wanted to know what he felt about everything.
“I might be way off base with this, but even though you never talk about moving, I feel like at any time you could flap those pretty wings and fly away to chase a dream or…I don’t know what. Sometimes you get this look in your eyes that tells me you want to see and do more. Like I said, I might be totally misreading you, but that’s how you feel to me. Like this beautiful, strong bird who likes to spread her wings, but also craves security and comfort.”
His piercing blue eyes cut straight to her heart. She was shocked by how well he knew her. Sally’s father had been an international investor, and they’d spent her childhood traveling. She had planned to study internationally after high school, traveling on school breaks and seeing as much of the world as she could before settling down. She’d met Dave on the ski slopes the winter of her senior year of high school, and they’d begun dating. The summer after graduation, she’d been on a trip with her parents when she realized she was pregnant. The pregnancy had caused a rift between her and her parents. Dave was a few years older than Sally and well on his way to opening his ski and sporting-goods store with Blake Carter when they’d made their home in Allure. She’d married Dave in a civil ceremony, and her parents had barely spoken to her during her pregnancy. But when Rusty was born and her parents saw their grandson for the first time, they’d come around and their relationship had healed. Although her parents had continued traveling often and they saw each other only once or twice a year, that healing had made it easier for Sally to focus on raising Rusty while going to college part-time. Her life had been full and busy. Unfortunately, between their family, school, and the store, her travel plans had fallen by the wayside, but the desire to travel had never gone away.
“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. “You’ve noticed things no one else ever has.” Not even Dave.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said as they came to a bench at the end of the path across the street from the hotel. They sat down, and he pulled her against his side. “You know how I feel, and now you know why I call you bird. Are there any other mysteries I can help solve?”
“Yes.” If they were really laying their cards on the table, she wanted to ask the questions she’d been holding back. Not the obvious questions—Why are you still single? and Why me, out of all the women in the world?—because she’d been in love before and she knew the heart had a mind of its own. The connection between her and Gage was too strong to deny, and she had no idea how they’d held out this long. She’d thought about him so often, sometimes late at night she wondered what would have happened if she’d met Gage while Dave had been alive. Those were the types of thoughts that could drive her crazy, and she immediately pushed them away. Sometimes not knowing was better than having all the answers.
“You told me you came to Allure to escape a bad relationship, but you never told me what happened.”
“You never asked,” he said with a thread of tension in his voice, and leaned back, releasing her for what felt like the first time all night.
She’d struck a nerve, and she wanted his arms around her again. If there was one thing she knew about her relationship with Gage, it was that any time they talked about things that really mattered, they became closer. And she wanted that now.
“I’m asking now,” she said gently. “I mean, we’re married and all, so I should probably know as much about my husband as possible.”
“Now you’re owning up to our marriage?” His tension was replaced with amusement.
“Just using it to my advantage. After all, you know all about my birdlike tendencies. It’s only fair that you disclose something private to me, too.”
“You do have a point.” He rested his forearms on his thighs and stared out toward the street.
“For you to have moved away from Washington State, left your job and started over, something really bad must have gone down.”
GAGE HADN’T THOUGHT of Stacy Manerton in years, and she was the last person he wanted to think about now. “It’s not that big of a deal. I dated a woman for a long time, and we ended up wanting different things.”
“But why move? Did she become a crazy stalker?” She bumped him with her shoulder. “Or did you become an obsessive boyfriend who wouldn’t let her go?”
He shook his head. “No crazy stalkers. I just needed a fresh start.”
“You don’t think I’m buying that, do you? Guys never need fresh starts. Come on. You saw me naked. You owe me the truth.”
“Listen to my rule-making wife. You saw me naked.” He sat up, put his mouth right beside her ear, and said, “What do you owe me?”
She turned, bringing their lips a whisper apart. Heat thrummed like a heartbeat between them.
“You’re trying to sidetrack me,” she said, eyes like burning embers.
“Am I doing a good job of it?”
“Maybe.”
He brushed a kiss over her cheek, and her breathing hitched. Man, he liked that reaction. “How about I turn that maybe into a yes?” He fully expected her to put space between them, and when she didn’t, he laced their fingers together.
“You really don’t want to talk about this, do you?”
He shook his head. “Talking isn’t on my mind right now.”
“I’m not sleeping with you tonight, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Who are you trying to convince?” He touched his lips to her cheek again, reveling in the warmth of her skin. “Me, or you?”
She was quiet for a long moment, holding his gaze as if she were deciding how to respond. The heat in her eyes cooled, only a degree or two, but enough to let him know she wasn’t going to let him lead her down that path.
Yet.
“I’m sorry, Gage,” she said softly, but he didn’t think she was talking about not kissing him. “She must have really hurt you for you to have buried it so deeply you don’t want to talk about it.”
It took a second for him to switch gears from kissing to his denial, and then to the here and now, and when he did, trying to hide the truth from Sally wasn’t an option. “You could say that.”
She lifted their joined hands the way he’d done earlier and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “I’ve got two good ears if you want to get it off your chest.”
He couldn’t help but smile. “Isn’t that what I said to you the night I found you crying in the parking lot after work a few years ago?” Another night he’d never forget. It was the beginning of their deep friendship. The night he’d first embraced her. The night they’d gone for a two-hour walk and ended up sitting on a park bench, like they were now, and had talked into the wee hours of the morning. She’d had a fight with Rusty, and she’d been sure she would somehow fail her teenage son because she couldn’t be both father and mother to him. He remembered telling her, Rusty doesn’t need you to replace his father. He just needs you to be strong enough to love him through his struggles.
“If you’re referring to the night you opened the doors I’ve never been able to—or wanted to—close between us, then yes.” She shifted so she was facing him. “I know you like to think you’re indestructible. I’ve seen you with your family enough to know being a pillar of strength runs like blood through your veins. But no one is impenetrable. You’ve been there for me so many times. Let me be here for you just this once.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.” He gazed out at the road, watching cars pass by.
She leaned closer. “Try me.”
He clenched his jaw at the sick feeling in his gut and decided to get it over with. “Her name was Stacy. She was a strength and conditioning coach and owned her own company, holding programs all over the country. She came to the school where I taught to help out with a summer program, and we started going out. We dated for about two years.”
“That’s a long time. It must have been serious.”
“I thought it was.”
Sally ran an assessing gaze over him. “You loved her,” she said carefully.
Gage nodded. “I thought I did, but I know now that I was in love with who I thought she was. Or maybe who I wanted her to be. I can be a little pushy.”
“It’s not so much that you’re pushy. You don’t give anything half an effort. Not the kids you work with at the center, or even the center itself. You set goals and you always achieve them and help others do the same. That’s who you are, and your heart only knows one way to be. Look at how you are with me. You’re beyond loyal, even if it means waiting years and not really knowing how things will turn out. Because, how can we know? We’ve been together as friends for a long time, but this?” She lifted their joined hands. “This is a whole new world riddled with complexities, the least of which is working together. There’s also your relationship with Rusty, and what we both want in our lives moving forward.”
“That’s where the trouble came in with Stacy,” he admitted. “Her lease was up and we had planned to move in together. We’d talked about a future, a family, the whole nine yards. I thought she was it for me, and I never questioned it. The week before she was supposed to move in, she asked me to meet her for lunch, and when I did, she had her car all packed up and ready to leave town.”
“Was it too much for her?” Sally asked. “Sometimes it takes waking up married to really bring the idea home, you know?”
“I think it had more to do with waking up pregnant.”
“Oh, Gage,” she said carefully. “You have a child? But I’ve never seen you with—”
“No, Sal. I don’t.” His gut clenched, a small reminder of what had once been blinding hurt and anger. “She found out she was pregnant and had an abortion without even discussing it with me.”
Sally moved closer, holding their hands against her chest. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
“It was pretty hard to take at the time.” That was putting it mildly. “Maybe if we had talked about the pregnancy and made the decision together, who knows, it might have been easier to take. But I know myself. I would have asked her to have the baby and let me raise it if she didn’t want to. She was a free spirit, wanting to try everything, go everywhere, like so many twenty-four-year-olds. I was twenty-nine when we broke up, and I was ready to settle down and have a family. Maybe I’ve always been the kind of guy who wanted a home base. That’s what my brothers and sister have always said. I guess they know me better than I know myself.”
Gage had one older brother, Duke, who he was most like when it came to relationships, and three younger brothers: Blue, a contractor, Cash, a firefighter, and Jake, a search and rescue professional. He also had a younger sister, Trish, who was an actress. She and her rock star husband, Boone, were both nominated for Oscars for a movie they’d costarred in. Their whole family was close, but he’d only told Duke and his father about what had happened with Stacy. It wasn’t something he wanted to relive many times over.
“I think you know yourself pretty well,” she said. “You once told me that you had never been the type of guy to get off on one-night stands.”
“It’s the truth, although I had my share of playing around when I was in college. But I don’t think that was the type of freedom Stacy wanted. I think it was more about being able to pick up and go places on a whim. She left that afternoon for a five-month contract in Hawaii.”
“If she moved away, why did you move? To avoid seeing her when she got back to town?”
He pushed to his feet, pulling her up beside him, and kept hold of her hand as they headed across the street toward the hotel. “I didn’t move for another year, when she came back to Washington, pregnant and married.”
“Oh, Gage. That’s…”
“It’s old news, that’s what it is,” he said firmly. “I can’t change who she was or what she did, and I would like to put it behind us. Thanks for listening. I actually feel better having told you. I’ve kept it bottled up for a long time.”
He held the door to the hotel open, and they joined a small crowd boarding the elevator. Gage held Sally from behind in the crowded space, and when they exited the elevator, he held her hand again as they walked down the hall. The discomfort she’d carried when they’d first gone to dinner seemed to have dissipated, but as they neared her room, he felt tension in her hand again.
“I’m glad you shared that with me,” she said. “It answers a lot of questions.”
When they reached her room, he gathered her in his arms, wanting to take her inside and show her just how right they were for each other. But as much as he wanted to skip ahead, he knew Sally still needed time to adjust to their new relationship. “Then can you answer one question for me?”
“Sure, but when you look at me like that, you make it hard for me to think.”
Damn, he liked knowing that. In a split second he threw caution to the wind, casting his request for a kiss good night aside, and said, “Then let’s see what this does to you.”
He brushed his lips over hers, feeling her shiver against him. “I can’t have you forgetting our first real kiss,” he whispered.
Her tongue swept across her lips, leaving them shiny and tempting and luring him in. He pressed a kiss beside her mouth, wanting to savor the prekiss anticipation vibrating between them.
“I want you to remember the feel of my arms around you,” he said, holding her gaze.
He kissed her cheek, and her lips parted, though she was barely breathing. His lips hovered just above hers as he threaded his fingers into her silky hair, drinking in the flush of her skin. Heat radiated between them like a furnace.
“I want you to remember the feel of my hands in your hair, the desire mounting inside you. I want you to see the look in my eyes right now when you go to sleep tonight. And remember what five years of wanting my mouth on you feels like when I finally get my first sober taste.”
“Yes,” came out as a plea.
He drew her face closer, angling her mouth beneath his, her warm breath coasting over his lips. Her heart thundered against his chest as she reached up and pulled him down to her. That’s it, baby. Take what you want. Her lips were soft and warm and so fucking perfect he groaned. He tried to go slow, to kiss her gently, to savor the moment, but there was no stopping the lust rushing through his veins. He crushed her to him, earning the sexiest moan he’d ever heard. His fist tightened in her hair, tugging her head back so he could plunder her deeper, possess more of her. His other hand skimmed her back and took hold of her ass. She arched against him, clinging to the back of his neck, as sensual noises streamed from her lungs into their kiss. Holy hell.
How would he ever stop kissing her? This was so much more than just a first memorable kiss. This was a full-body experience driven by his heart, filling his very soul with the woman he adored. He was disappearing into her warm, eager mouth, consumed by her lush body rocking against him. The scrape of her nails on his neck made his senses reel, and he felt every touch, every breath, more distinctly than the one before.
If he didn’t stop now, there was no way he’d ever stop without taking everything he wanted. He forced his mouth from hers, instantly missing her taste and the feel of her luscious lips. Her eyes were still closed as a needy whimper escaped. Fuuck. How was he supposed to resist that?
He went back for one last taste. Taking her slower, kissing her more intensely, memorizing the feel of her mouth against his. They both came away breathless. Needing more, he kissed her cheek, her neck, and blazed a path all the way to her ear.
“What do you think, bird? Meant to be, or a mistake?”
She was trembling all over. He drew back and gazed into her lust-filled eyes. She swallowed hard, licked her lips, and he could see she was having trouble forming words. Damn, he wanted to memorize that look, too.
“Not a mistake” slipped from her lips like a secret.
Her hand fell to his chest, five fingers splayed. A silent message. She needed space. She needed to process their magnificent kisses.
“Okay, bird.” He swiped her keycard and followed her inside.
“Gage, I’m not ready—”
Her words were lost by another press of his lips. God, what he’d give to lay her down beneath him and love every inch of her.
“I know, bird. My ice pack awaits.” He reached for the adjoining door, blew her a kiss, and answered the question in her eyes. “I always leave my side unlocked. Just in case you need me.”