Two weeks later

If I had to sum up the last two weeks of my life in three words or less, I’d choose, sad, contemplative, and awkward. I’m still heartbroken that Trevor and I are through. I thought it would get easier with time, but so far that’s not proving to be true.

I’ve done more thinking and soul searching than I ever imagined. And I’m still as messed up as ever. It hasn’t really brought me the insight I was hoping for. I wanted a booming voice, heard only by me, to let me know I’m doing the right thing. So far there’s no booming anything.

Working with Trevor and not speaking to each other is the peak of awkwardness. I try not to look at him at all. But sometimes our eyes will accidentally meet and for a split second the walls drop, revealing how much he misses me. And he can clearly see how much I wish things were different. We’ll stare at each other longingly until something breaks the spell between us and we both snap our eyes in another direction, pretending it never happened.

“Earth to Grace.” Amelia waves her hand in front of my face. “You were a million miles away.”

“No, not that far. I was thinking about how hard it’s been to work with Trevor without speaking to him.”

“Do you want to talk to him?” Amelia asks.

“Yes and no. I don’t want to because I’m still angry, but for the sake of work, it would be a lot easier if we could converse politely.”

“I don’t know what Trevor’s been like with you, but he’s a mess. He almost got in a fight at practice the other day and then again at the game. He went after a player on the other team. Coach threatened to strip his captain’s status.”

“Why is he so fired up?”

“Owen told me that both times someone said something negative about you.”

“He’s defending me? If he didn’t care enough not to fuck around, why would he feel the need to defend me?”

“You still believe he cheated?” Amelia quirks a brow.

“You don’t?”

“I don’t know. I’m not in your situation so it’s hard to say, but even Owen told you it wasn’t true.”

“Yes, and they’re best friends. Bros before hos, isn’t that how it goes?”

“I don’t think Owen would lie to you for Trevor. He might downplay a situation, or exaggerate one to work in Trevor’s favor, but outright lying to someone for him? I don’t see it, and Owen and I have gotten to know each other pretty well through work.”

“Can we talk about something else? It would be great if I could forget about Trevor Lincoln for more than a few minutes at a time.”

“What about you and Zeke? Operation keep your distance is almost over. What are you going to do when it is?” Leah’s eyes sparkle excitedly.

“I’m going to kiss him, strip him naked, and spend a week straight with him.” Amelia smiles. “What’s going on with you and Clancy? You haven’t mentioned him lately.”

“I don’t know. He runs hot one minute and cold the next. I don’t want to play games. I think I’ll just focus on school and maybe someone else will catch my interest.”

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt.” Our eyes all sweep to Sandy standing beside our table. She clasps her hands together, fidgeting uncomfortably. “Um, Grace, I was wondering if I could have a word with you?”

Leah scowls. “Whatever you have to say to her can be said in front of us.”

“Oh… uh… I just wanted to talk to you about what happened a few weeks ago.”

I hold up my hand. “I don’t need the gory details.”

“I need to explain what happened. You don’t know the whole story.”

What the hell? I might as well get the info straight from the source. I nod for her to continue.

“I went to work at the Chestnut Country Club for the first time. I was bartending at an event from eight to midnight. While I was working I was doing shots in between customers. I lost track of how many I’d done by the end of the event. I also took a Valium that a friend had given me. I’d been really stressed out and she told me it would calm me down.”

“Did she also tell you to never mix pills with alcohol? You’re lucky you didn’t end up in the hospital,” Amelia scolds.

“I know, and if it wasn’t for Trevor I might have. He made me eat and he drove me home. I could barely walk into my building and he helped me all the way to my door. Once I was inside, I layed down on my bed and he told me he was leaving. I don’t remember anything after that. I think I immediately passed out.”

“Did he ask you to tell me this?” I have to know.

“No. He doesn’t have any clue that I’m telling you. I wanted you to know because I feel bad about the blog post. If I hadn’t been messed up that night there’d be no story and you guys would still be together and happy. Trevor could’ve sold me out and talked trash about me, but he didn’t. He’s a great guy and you shouldn’t let him go so easily. There are a lot of girls who’d like to be in your position.”

“Including you?” Leah chimes in.

“Yes, including me. I’m not ashamed to admit it. But none of that matters, because he doesn’t want anyone else. He’s in love with you, Grace. Anyone who’s seen you guys together can tell. You probably won’t find many who are happy about it either.”

Leah points at Sandy. “No doubt.”

“I won’t take up any more of your time. I just wanted you to hear me out and I appreciate that you did. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Thanks for the information,” I call out to her back. She raises her hand in a slight wave as she strolls toward the exit. I’m not sure what to make of her story. Is she covering for him? Or was she saying what really happened?

“Well that was interesting,” Amelia states.

My fingertip traces around the rim of my coffee cup. “Do you think she’s telling the truth?”

Amelia leans forward resting her elbows on the table. “What would be the purpose of her lying? What would she gain out of it?”

“I can’t think of anything, but why come forward now?”

“It might have something to do with how unhinged Trevor’s been behaving. Owen’s afraid he’s going to do something that will get him kicked off the football team.”

“Oh God. What should I do? I’m so confused.”

“Do you still love him?” Leah cuts to the heart of the matter.

“Of course I do. Love doesn’t disappear in a few weeks. Real love lasts forever.”

“So what you’re saying is you’re going to love him forever?”

“Yep.”

“Then why not be with him? If you’re going to love him anyway, you might as well forgive him, or at the least hear the poor guy out.” Sometimes Leah provides such amazing clarity when I need it most. And this is one of those times.

“You’re absolutely right. I’m being short sighted about this. If he didn’t do anything wrong I’m doing us both a disservice by not listening to him. And if he did cheat, we can possibly work it out. It would be really difficult to get past all that, but I love him so much.”

“Just for the record, I don’t think he cheated.” Amelia shakes her head.

Leah agrees, “I don’t think so either.”

Rising to my feet, I sling my backpack over my shoulder. “I guess I need to talk to Trevor.”

“Go get your man.” Leah shoves me toward the door.

I peer over my shoulder at her. “Okay, I’m going.”

Once I’m outside on the sidewalk, I pause for a moment to get my bearings. Where to first? I head in the direction of Trevor’s apartment which is only one block away.

Before I realize it, I’m knocking on his door. I’m nervous, but the excitement of seeing him is outweighing everything else.

The door opens revealing Owen. “Hi.” I smile. “Is Trevor around?”

Owen crosses his arms over his chest and leans a shoulder against the door jamb. “No, he’s not. Why are you looking for him?” His expression is stern and standoffish. I’ve never seen him this way.

“I wanted to talk to him about everything that happened. I’m ready to hear him out.”

“Well isn’t that big of you. Where have you been for the last three weeks when he wanted to tell you all about it? You shut him out and refused to listen. You’ve been pretending he doesn’t exist. Do you have any idea how much that destroyed him?”

Hearing how hard he’s been taking our breakup is painful. I don’t want to be the cause of his pain any longer.

“No… I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“Come on now, let’s not kid ourselves. That’s exactly what you were trying to do, right? Hurt him like he hurt you.”

“Okay, yes. I wanted him to hurt as badly as me.”

“Congratulations. You got what you wanted.”

“No. I don’t want that anymore. I made a horrible mistake and I want to tell him I’m sorry.”

“You’re ready to admit you were wrong?”

“Yes. Please tell me where he is.”

“He didn’t say where he was going. Only that he needed to think.”

“Thank you,” I squeal rising on my toes to kiss his cheek.

“I didn’t really tell you anything.”

“I know where he is. Wish me luck.”

The bright sunlight reflects against the water creating sparkles, shining like diamonds everywhere I look. The waves softly lap against the dock where Trevor sits alone. My sneakers fall softly against the wood, hiding my approach. I’m almost upon him when he calls out, “What are you doing here?”

My feet halt for a brief pause and then I continue, swallowing up the remaining distance between us. I lower onto the empty adirondack chair beside his and place my bag on the wooden planks between my feet. “I thought I might find you here.”

“Why do you care where I am?” His tone is flat, emotionless, and so very unlike his usual animated self. I hate that I’ve had a hand in him being this way.

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened with Sandy.”

“Well, I wanted to talk to you three weeks ago and every second since, but you wanted no part of it. And guess what? I gave up and now I don’t feel like I should have to explain myself.”

“I don’t care if you tell me what happened. It doesn’t matter.” He raises a brow in doubt. “I mean it. None of that matters to me. I’ve been acting so childish through this whole thing. I shut you out and denied you a chance to be heard. I’m sorry I was so stubborn and unforgiving.”

“Apology accepted. Now you can go and feel better about yourself.”

“Trevor, that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here, Grace?”

Call me Red. I don’t like it when you call me Grace.

“There are a lot of reasons why.”

“Feel free to share them.”

Rising to my feet, I edge closer until I’m standing between his legs. I stare down into his sea colored eyes and implore him to hear the words I’m about to say.

“I’m here because I love you and I’m never going to stop. I’m here because I don’t want to live another minute without you in my life. I’m here because I miss you and your ridiculous sense of humor. I’m here because no one else calls me Red and I miss hearing it. I’m here because I believe you didn’t cheat on me, but even if you had, I love you enough to work through it. I’m here because—” he grabs my hips and pulls me into his lap. Our mouths hungrily crash together, both of us starved for each other after all the time apart.

His lips nip at my chin and underneath my jaw. I tip my head back as he teases the delicate skin of my neck.

He groans, “God, I missed you so fucking much, Red. I’m never letting you go again.”

Raising my head, I cup his cheeks in my hands and press our foreheads together. I smile through the happy tears blurring my vision. “No, we’re never letting go.”