Chapter 27

Kin

Two days later and I was still feeling like crap. No sooner did I start feeling better, than my stomach would start protesting all over again. But I pushed through because I had a million things to do to prepare for the winter tour that was quickly approaching.

Friday morning, I had auditions with the two bands I thought would sound best with my style. Jace drove me to Aunt Emmie’s office, staying beside me through the whole thing because I was so nervous. The last few days, he’d been pretty great, taking care of me while I was so sick I could barely lift my head. He hadn’t left my side once, babying me so much that I should have been annoyed, but I only loved him more for it.

Walking into the studio where Shane would record the two auditions so I could listen to them afterward, I set my sheet music on the stand and reached for the guitar case Jace carried up for me. In the other room, I saw Shane and Nik waiting, and I appreciated them both being there for this. As with Jace’s opinion, I valued both the Demons’ as well.

“You look like crap,” Shane’s voice filled the recording booth, his tone laced with concern. “You sure you’re up for this?”

“I’ve been sick,” I told him. “But I’m feeling better today.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was feeling better than I had been. At least I hadn’t puked—yet—that day. Of course, I hadn’t eaten yet either. I was lucky I was keeping down the sports drinks Jace kept shoving into my hand.

“Well, just take it easy. You don’t want to puke on your new band,” he said with a grin.

I flipped him off and finished setting up. “I’m ready when they are,” I told Nik. “Let Aunt Emmie know.”

He nodded and lifted his phone to his ear, alerting his wife that she could send down the first band.

The next two hours were spent going through some of my playlist with both bands. The first one was an all-guy band that could keep up with me easily. I liked them a lot, and they even had me laughing a few times despite how shitty I felt.

The second was just as good, also all-male, but they didn’t put me at ease as much as the first. I needed a band that could make the whole getting onstage thing easier, and it definitely wasn’t them.

After the second band left and I went in to talk to the others about it, they were in complete agreement. But it wasn’t until I heard the recordings that my mind was made up. I could even hear a difference in my voice between the two bands, and I liked how I sounded with the first band so much better.

“I like them because they weren’t eye-fucking you the whole time like the second band was,” Jace said as we walked out of the building a while later. “I swear, if that bassist had looked at your ass one more time, I would have knocked his ass out.”

“He was kind of a creeper, huh?”

“He was kind of a dick,” Jace grumbled. “Glad you decided on the other one, babe.” He kissed my lips before opening his passenger door for me. “You feeling okay? Want to go home and rest?”

“I wanted to go see Lucy and the baby, but I’m afraid I’ll get them sick. So home it is.”

He was grinning when he got behind the wheel.

“What?” I asked when he started the car.

“You keep calling my place home. Let’s make it official and get all your stuff moved in before the tour,” he suggested.

I frowned, realizing he was right. I had called his place home a lot in the last few days. But I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to make it official yet. “I’ll think about it,” I told him.

“That’s not a no,” he said with a smirk as he pulled into traffic. “I’d call that progress.”

Rolling my eyes, I turned my head toward the side window, hiding my smile from him.

For the rest of the day, Jace watched TV in the living room, and I napped with my head pillowed on his lap. I slept deeply, but I still woke up feeling tired when I needed to get up for our dinner with my dad. When Jace pulled up in front of the restaurant a while later, I was fighting back a yawn.

“Are you sure about this?” Jace asked, his brow pinched as he looked at me. “You look like you could fall asleep at any minute.”

“I’m fine,” I assured him. “And I’m hungry. Come on. I need food.”

Handing his keys over to the valet, he met me on the sidewalk and took my hand. “If you start feeling sick again, let me know. We don’t have to stay.”

“Okay.”

“And if you’re not feeling better tomorrow, I’m taking you to the doctor,” he threatened.

“Okay,” I repeated, walking into the restaurant in front of him. He stopped me, turned me to face him, and put his hand to my forehead. “What are you doing?”

He felt his own head with the same hand, then mine again. “Seeing if you have a fever. You’re not arguing with me, and I’m a little concerned.”

I playfully smacked his hand away. “Stop it. I’m fine.”

“Still not arguing. Maybe I should take you to the doctor now. That urgent care place is open for another half an hour, I think.”

Laughing, I hugged his waist. “Honestly, I’m okay. Stop worrying.”

“Start acting like yourself, and I will,” he grumbled.

“I’m just tired. I’m more malleable when I’m sleepy.”

“Well, it scared the fuck out of me.” He kept one arm around me as we walked up to the hostess’s podium. “Reservations for Montez,” he told the older woman dressed in a chic black button-up and long black skirt.

She didn’t even blink at the name. No doubt the woman saw her share of celebrities walk through the place every night, and she was immune to them at this stage of her life. She consulted her list and stepped away from the podium. “The rest of your party has already arrived. Follow me, please.”

Jace urged me in front of him, but he kept one hand on my hip, letting me know he was right there with me.

For some reason, I felt a sense of calm as we approached the table where I could already see Derrick sitting with Shannon and Scott. The Blonde sitting beside him shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. Seeing London, I smiled, already liking her more than anyone else at that table. Derrick had hurt my feelings more than I expected the other night, which was probably why I’d overreacted to Jace.

Derrick had become a really close friend, and I hadn’t been expecting him to use me just to make his sister happy. I should have, I realized that now, but it still stung.

Scott and Derrick stood as we reached them, but I ignored them both as I took the empty chair beside London. As I sat, the Blonde touched my leg under the table. “Thank fuck you’re here,” she whispered as she leaned in. “I was seriously about to make myself puke just get out of being here.”

I covered her hand, giving it a squeeze. “No purging tonight,” I whispered.

Her eyes darkened. “I make no promises. Not a fan of the sister. She’s way too judgmental for me.”

“You two know each other?” Shannon asked in a sweet voice as she picked up her water glass, watching London and me over the top of it.

“London is a good friend,” I told her, my eyes narrowing on her when hers passed over the Blonde with a look of disdain. “And I always take care of my friends,” I told her with a cold smile that warned her to back the fuck off.

The other woman’s eyes widened, and she set down her glass. I shot Derrick a glare as he and Scott shook Jace’s hand. He’d better keep his sister off London’s case, or I wouldn’t hesitate to kick him in the balls.

Jace took the seat beside me, draping an arm over the back of my chair. “Sorry we’re late,” he told them. “Kin was sleeping really peacefully and I hated having to wake her up, so I let her nap longer than I should have.”

“Have you not been feeling well?” Scott asked, those eyes identical to my own skimming over my face. “You do look a little peaked.”

“I’m just getting over a virus,” I excused, avoiding his gaze in favor of examining the menu. “It took a lot out of me.”

“Thank God,” he muttered, and my eyes snapped up as he continued. “I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant or something. I’m too young to be anyone’s grandfather.”

“Funny,” I bit out. “But no. I have the implant. It’s not due to be changed out for a few more weeks. I’ll get it done before we go on tour.”

“Is that easier than the pill?” London asked, interested. “Because I’m getting tired of taking that damn thing every day.”

“I kept forgetting to take it,” I told her. “Plus, with the implant, I stopped having a period after the first year or so.”

“Hell yeah. Sign me up.”

Scott cleared his throat. “As entertaining as this conversation is, let’s order dinner, shall we?”

Jace didn’t bother to pick up his own menu, just looked over mine. “You want to try some pasta?” he asked. “I’ll share my steak with you if you do.”

“The sauce is too acidic for me tonight. I was just going to get a salad.”

He kissed the corner of my mouth. “Get some protein on it. Steak might put some color back in your cheeks.”

The waiter appeared and took everyone’s order, but as soon as he left, the entire table seemed to fall into an uncomfortable silence. As several minutes ticked by, I grew more and more impatient to get this over with.

“Jillian is contesting the divorce, huh?” I commented. “Doesn’t surprise me. What does she want? More money? The house?”

Scott sighed heavily. “She wants me to stop paying Carolina’s tuition and pay the money to her.”

“And you said no?” He nodded, and I felt myself starting to soften toward him. “I didn’t know you were paying for her college.”

“When she decided she wanted to go to an East Coast college, I promised her I would help out any way I could. Jillian put a freeze on Carolina’s trust fund, so I’ve been footing the bill.”

“Ugh, I really hate her,” I muttered. “She’s nothing more than an attention whore. Caro knew she wouldn’t have any peace if she stayed local.”

“Well, she’s doing spectacularly at Virginia Tech. She really seems to be finding her footing in life.” His voice was gentle, full of love and affection for his stepdaughter when he spoke of her. I might have been jealous if I didn’t love Carolina so much. Maybe if he’d been talking about Georgia, I would have been, but not the girl who was just as much a sister to me as Angie.

“She busted her ass for midterms,” I told him. “She called me a few times stressing over them, but when she got her grades, she was really happy with herself.”

“Why aren’t you studying this term?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I was busy when the semester started, but I don’t think I’m going back. It’s not really my thing.”

“I’m really proud of your music,” he surprised me by saying. “I always knew you would write some great songs when you grew up.”

Pleasure filled me, surprising me even more than his praise. “Derrick told me you still have one of my songs in your wallet.”

“I’ve carried it with me since the day you started running around the house singing it.”

“I never knew that until Derrick told me.”

Scott pulled his wallet from his dinner jacket pocket and pulled out a delicate-looking folded piece of paper. “I’ve recopied it a few times over the years,” he admitted as he offered the paper to me. “It got ripped once or twice and I spilled coffee on one, so I had to redo it. But that is word-for-word the song you would sing at the top of your lungs.”

My fingers shook as I carefully unfolded the piece of paper. When I read the verses, my eyes began to sting with tears. It was just gibberish words I must have made up as a kid; they didn’t even really make sense to me. Yet he’d kept them in his wallet, carried them around with him for years when I wasn’t with him. When I didn’t even like him most of that time.

I gave it back to him, watching with tear-filled eyes as he lovingly refolded the creased paper. “Why did you treat me like I didn’t matter when I came to live with you after Mom died?” I demanded in a choked voice.

He raked a hand through his hair. “I knew if I paid you any attention, it would have only made things harder on you with Jillian. You’re right, she is an attention whore, and my attention is what she craves the most. If I let her know I loved you more than her, she would have turned your life upside down, sweetheart.”

“Then why didn’t you divorce her?” I cried.

“Because I was a coward,” he admitted, his voice pained, regret shining out of his eyes. “I didn’t have the balls to face another divorce at the time. When your mom left me, it destroyed me. I missed her, yes, but she took you away from me, too, and moved to the other side of the country. I went from having you there to make things brighter to being all alone. Georgia and Carolina weren’t you, but they filled some of the void of missing my little girl, and I didn’t want to lose that again. So I hid my head and tried to protect you as much as I could.”

His hand reached for Shannon’s, and I blinked, startled because I’d almost forgotten we weren’t alone. No one had spoken or even so much as coughed while Scott and I were talking. It was almost like they’d been holding their breath, afraid to interrupt in any shape or form as my dad and I actually talked for the first time in—ever. “Then Carolina went off to college, and the darkness was back again. Shannon and I ran into each other at an award show, and everything I gave up when I broke up with her flooded back in. I no longer had anything to lose, and I love her so fucking much. With her, I finally realized what happiness really is, and I knew I would face anything to get to have her for the rest of my life.”

“I love you too,” Shannon whispered, blinking back tears.

“I have a question,” London spoke up. All eyes fell on her, including my own. “If you missed Kin so much, why didn’t you share custody with her mom?”

“Legit question,” Jace agreed, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over my shoulder.

Scott’s face became pained again. “We did for a while. I would fly out and bring Kin back with me for a week or so. But then my schedule got crazy with back-to-back movies, and by the time I had was done, Abby was with Carter, and Kin didn’t want to leave her new stepsiblings to come visit me like she used to. The one time I did force the issue, she cried the whole week, and it broke my heart to see her so unhappy, especially when I was the cause of it.”

My heart was pounding as I listened to what he had to say. I didn’t remember any of that because I was too young at the time, but from the moment I met Angie and Caleb, they became everything to me. But I never knew he had tried to stay in my life. I always thought that when Mom and I left, I was no longer important enough to him for him to bother trying to keep me in his life.

“I thought you just didn’t care enough to want to be a part of my life,” I whispered.

“There hasn’t been a day that has gone by where you haven’t been on my mind. But you got mad every time I came to visit you, thinking I was going to tear you away from the twins again. So I stopped coming as much, and then I met Jillian and her girls, and I guess I stopped trying. You being mad at me so much broke my heart, and I couldn’t keep putting either of us through it.”

He reached across the table, his warm hand grasping mine and squeezing so gently, another tear spilled free. “I don’t ever want you to think I don’t love you, sweetheart. Because I do. I always have, and I promise you, I always will.”

A sob got caught in my throat, and I turned my head away. Jace was there, folding me into his arms, letting me bury my face in his chest as he stroked his hands over my hair. I felt his lips at my ear, but it was my right one, so even if he’d said anything, I wouldn’t have heard it. It didn’t matter, though. I didn’t need more words from anyone right then.

I just needed Jace’s arms around me, while my dad still held on to my hand.