It’s been three days since the talk with Talon, and I’m so sick of being in the hospital I could chew nails and it would be more delightful. Mom dropped Steel off with us an hour ago so I could spend some time with him. He’s been curled up in my lap and we’ve turned the television on to cartoons for him. Talon went to get us lunch and we ate together as a family for the first time in a long ass time.

I hear the door open and see the doctor walking in with someone rolling in a machine behind him. “Good afternoon, I thought we’d take some measurements of the little one and get a look at him or her,” the tech says, and suddenly, excitement takes over.

“Yes, please,” I say to him. Talon grabs Steel from my arms and comes over and stands on the side of my bed.

“You wanna see your baby brother or sister?” he asks him. Steel nods his head up and down, I’m not sure if he fully understands the meaning, but his dad’s and my excitement seems to be catching.

The tech sets up the machine and then has me pull my shirt up to get prepared to put the gel on my lower stomach. I catch Talon glowering at him and give him a raised eyebrow. “Chill out,” I mouth at him, not wanting to say it out loud, and draw attention to his possessive ways.

“This has been in the warmer, so it won’t be cold,” the tech informs me. I still freeze in anticipation but soon realize he’s correct, it’s nice and warm.

Steel leans down in his daddy's arms and pats my shoulder. “S’okay, Mama,” he says, causing me to break out in a smile.

“It sure is, baby boy,” I respond to him. Talon winks at me, if I wasn’t already laying down that gesture would bring me to my knees. I love it when he gives me those small expressions letting me know what I still mean to him. If the fluttering in my belly is any indication, time has done nothing but grow where our feelings are concerned. Even with the recent distance we had, I always knew he loved me and Steel. We just stumbled a bit. The tech turns the machine on and I watch Steel’s eyes grow big as he hears the whooshing sounds of the baby’s heartbeat.

“Mama? What’s that noise?” he asks. His little face is all scrunched up in concentration as he looks around for the source of the sound.

“It’s the baby’s heartbeat,” Talon replies. “Now, look,” he says, pointing to the screen that is now lit up. “Right there is your baby brother or sister.”

“Mama, did you swallows it?” I have to bite back my laughter when I see the fear in his eyes.

“No, Steel, Mama didn’t swallow the baby.” Well, fuck, he’s too young for the sex talk. How do I get out of this one? “Babies grow in their mommy’s tummies until they’re ready to be born.”

I hear the tech snicker before he starts pointing out different parts of the baby’s anatomy, then measures the arms, legs, head and torso. “Looks like everything is measuring right at eight weeks and three days, does that sound about right to you?” he questions.

“Yes,” I reply, thinking of the night of conception. God, I love that tree! It gave me more than the last night I was with the man I love, it gave us a precious gift. I know Talon was determined that we wouldn’t have any further biological children, but this baby is a blessing, and I am not discounting the importance its little life is having on our family. He nods at the tech but never takes his eyes off the screen, and I know that the miracle we’ve created is hitting him as well.

Talon leans down with Steel holding onto his neck like a little monkey and whispers in my ear, “I’m putting a bench by that tree, it’s a place that we can visit and know that it was our second beginning.” I nearly weep in joy at his announcement, because it did give us a chance at our new future. “I love you,” he tells me, placing a gentle kiss at my temple.

“I love you more,” I say back to him.

“No! Me,” Steel inputs, “love me more,” he says, with his bottom lip sticking out, and his chubby arms crossed over his chest. I have to chuckle, because he’s mimicking his daddy perfectly right now, from the arms to the determined look he’s sporting.

“We love you the most,” Talon tells him, while giving him tiny nips, and noisy kisses, causing my little guy to giggle out loud.

“Here are your baby’s first pictures,” the tech says, handing me several grainy black and white sonogram pictures. “Congrats to you both.”

“Thank you,” I reply.

“So, we’ll get you scheduled for your first in-office appointment next month,” the doctor says once the tech leaves. “Do you have any questions?”

“How soon can I get out of here?” I ask. I’m tired of this place. I realize I was not aware until just a few days ago, but I’d feel so much better in my own space and place, and I know Talon would sleep better in our bed instead of the damn reclining chair. Yeah, he’s got a cot in here, but he wants to be close so he sleeps there instead.

“I’ve got several tests I want to get run and have physical therapy come up and set something up for your at-home care. If everything comes back okay, I can see about releasing you either tomorrow or the day after.”

I can’t control the excited squeal that bursts forth. “Best fucking news I’ve heard today.” The room bursts out in chuckles at my words, even my little guy gets in on the action. I don’t find one damn thing funny about it, I just want to go home, I’m tired of being poked and prodded. Well, by the nurses anyways, Talon can do those things to me anytime he wishes.

“Soon, baby. You’ll be home, in our bed, and I’ll be playing nursemaid to your every need,” Talon tells me.

“Can’t wait,” I say in excited anticipation.

“You don’t have a choice, sweetheart.”

“Tease,” I say to him.

“Always, baby,” he states, moving out of my way so I can’t smack him.

Claree comes home today and Mom and Trinity are babysitting Steel while getting the house set up for her homecoming. I told them no party, but they’re making things more accessible for her to be able to move around better with her wheelchair. We rented her a motorized one so she is more independent and doesn’t need someone wheeling her around. She still has the bandage around her head, a broken arm, her ankle still bothers her from the plates and screws, but her spleen being removed doesn't seem to affect her movement. When I think of everything that could have gone wrong, I want to fall to my knees and thank God for sparing her life. If that last phone call where she was crying, yelling and so upset at me had been all I had of her, I don’t think I would have survived. That might make me sound like a pussy, but I don’t give a fuck.

“You ready to get out of here?” I ask her, knowing that she is.

“Yep, let’s blow this popsicle stand,” she says, moving around the bed trying to get herself to the edge. She lifts up her arms and I pick her up bridal style, and plant her in the wheelchair the nurse brought in earlier to take her out to the parking lot.

“Hannah’s gonna come by tonight and fix your hair, baby,” I tell her as I push her out of the room. She was messing with the ballcap she had her mom bring her and I know she feels self-conscious that half her hair was shaved off. “But I held everyone else off until this weekend. Then, we’re having a party at the clubhouse in your honor. Nan and Gino are cooking for everyone.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be up to that, Talon,” she replies.

“If you’re not, then they’ll have to deal. I won’t force you to go somewhere, or do anything, you don’t wanna do, baby.”

“Talon,” she whispers as we get closer to my truck. I stop and look down at her and notice that her one free hand is clutching the armrest of the wheelchair. “I... I don’t know if I can get in the truck.”

“Baby, I’ll get you in, you know that,” I tell her.

“No, it’s not that. I don’t know if I can handle riding in a car or not.” By now her voice is so low I am straining to hear her words.

“Are you in pain?” I ask, looking her over carefully.

“Fuck, Talon, I don’t know if I can handle being in a car. All I can see is that car coming towards me every fucking time I close my damned eyes!” she shrieks, tears pouring down her face.

The nurse overhears her and squats down in front of her. “Claree? Listen to me, sweetie. I can go get you something for the anxiety you’re feeling if you’d like. Your doctor ordered it in case you needed it and there’s no shame in taking it if it’ll help you right now.”

“Might be a good idea, Claree,” I say to my girl. “It will help you relax and not freak out so much.”

“I’m not weak, Talon.”

“No one ever said anything like that, baby! You went through a traumatic accident so it’s natural to be nervous. You’re one of the strongest women I know.”

“Take the medicine, Claree,” Chief says, walking up to where we’re sitting. “Don’t disrespect your man like that.” Well, fuck me, never saw that one coming. Of course, Chief is a bit of a stickler for that kind of thing.

I move so I can lift her chin. “Baby, if this is what it takes to get you through, it doesn’t make you weak. I just want you home, so I can take care of you and Steel. And our new little one,” I say, gently rubbing her stomach.

She sighs, and I see the tears escape from behind her closed eyes. “Okay,” she whispers. “If you think it’ll help. I just...I know I can’t do it otherwise. That’s what makes me weak.”

“Not weak, baby. Just cautious, you’ve been through something traumatic, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be skeptical about placing themselves in a situation that could possibly, one day, have the same outcome.” Thankfully, she’s not coming home with the shunt they put in for the swelling she initially had, as they removed that the day before. The bandage around her head is to keep the wound free from infection while we’re out and about. I told the doctor that one of our friends was coming by to cut her hair and she let us both know it would be okay as long as she stayed away from that area.

I’m so ready to get home and get our life back to normal, whatever the fuck that is. We’ll have to revisit what that means to us, in this day and time, because heaven knows we can’t let things go back to the way they were before.

We can’t do things the way they were before we drifted apart either, obviously that didn’t work for us. We need to start new, fresh, and not revert back to when we were teenagers and first fell in love. Somehow, though, I think that now our parents know where we were at, they wouldn’t let that happen.

We need to learn who we are now, as adults. Doesn’t mean that I’m not gonna put a ring on her finger, soon, but I’m not selfish enough not to get to know who she’s become while I was doing my own thing and she was doing hers.