I shift in my seat and glance toward the entrance of the cafe. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking agreeing to a date. I wasn’t thinking, that’s the real answer. If it hadn’t been for my brain being scrambled from whatever weird voodoo Brewer seemed to be doing on me, I never would’ve said yes to this overeager kid.

The only way I can see this being worth my time is if he wants to top me so I can get that unholy horror dealt with and securely put behind me.

“Oh my god, I still can’t believe I’m seeing you in real life,” Trevor says, fanning himself dramatically.

“Uh, yeah, about all that— I like to keep my personal life separate from my work life, so I’d prefer if you’d call me—”

“Oh my god, I get to know your real name? Hold on, I need to brag so hard on Twitter.” He pulls out his phone without waiting for a response, clearly not all that concerned with actually learning my real name. I grunt a response. This was a giant fucking mistake. “That grunt, dear lord, I may faint.”

I bite my tongue against another grunt of annoyance, since apparently too much grunting may make this kid cream his pants.

“Listen, I forgot, I actually need to be somewhere...else.”

“Oh.” His face falls, and he finally puts his phone away. “You can’t even stay for a cup of coffee?”

I sigh and slump back in my seat.

“Yeah, I can stay for a little while.”

“Yay.” He claps his hands and slides into the seat opposite from me. “It must be so cool to be a porn star.”

“It’s a job,” I shrug, not really wanting to get too into it with a guy I already know I won’t be seeing again.

“Yeah, but you get to fuck the hottest guys on the planet and you get paid for it. Out of all the Ballsy Boys, who’s best in bed?”

“I don’t know, it’s hard to compare,” I answer, casting an awkward glance toward the door, wondering if it’s too late to bolt. “I don’t really want to talk about work, if that’s okay?”

“Oh.” His face falls again, but he recovers quickly. “Okay, well, then, what were you doing on campus the other day? I know you can’t be a student.”

“Why can’t I be a student?”

“You don’t really seem the type. You’re very...physical. I can’t picture you sitting behind a desk all day or in the library.”

“Huh.” It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting every time someone makes those kinds of assumptions about me. Meathead, more muscles than brains...I’ve heard these things my entire life. There was a time when I believed them, too. I thought I wasn’t good for anything other than looking like a muscle-bound moron. Need something heavy moved? Call Tank! Need a complex physics problem solved? Nah, that dude can barely tie his own shoes.

“Is everything okay? You got kind of a sexy, terrifying look on your face all the sudden.”

“Yeah,” I lie. “I do have to go after all.” I stand without waiting for a response and head out the door without a backward glance.

With my afternoon now shot to hell, I decide to go home and grab Shaggy so I can take him to the park. I can’t believe I got along for all these years without a dog. He’s made my life a hundred percent better just by existing.

I jog up the steps to my apartment and, as always, am greeted by a wiggly butt when I open the door.

“Hey, Shaggy. You want to go for a walk?” I ask in that stupid voice you can’t help but use when talking to a dog.

Shaggy yips and runs to where his leash is hanging up behind the door. He bounces up and down as I attempt to latch the leash to his collar.

“Sit,” I command, and with much effort, he manages to plop his butt down, and I get his leash attached.

It’s a beautiful day for the park, only about eighty out, and sunny of course. Another upside of having a dog, it actually has me coming out to the park. In the years I’ve lived in that apartment, I’d never visited the park only a few blocks away.

When we reach the park, I realize there’s some sort of free vaccine clinic set up. Shaggy and I avoid the crowd there and walk along the water. There’s a slight breeze that makes the weather even more perfect.

When I first moved to LA, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take the heat. After all, I was used to at least half the year being blizzards and below freezing temps. Now, I don’t know how I’d ever go back to that.

“Tank?” I look over my shoulder to see who called my name and spot Brewer. He’s wearing a pair of blue scrubs that I hate to admit make him look really hot.

“Oh, hey,” I greet with an awkward wave.

“Aw and Shaggy,” Brewer crouches down to pet Shaggy. It’s obvious Shaggy is excited to see him, jumping up to lick his face and wagging his tail so hard he’s losing his balance.

“Are you doing that vaccine clinic thing?” I ask when Brewer stands back up.

“Yeah, it was a volunteer thing and volunteer things always look good on med school applications, you know?”

“That makes sense.”

“I’m finished up now,” he says awkwardly, gesturing back and then biting his lip.

“Oh, uh...did you want to walk with us or anything?” I offer, not sure if that’s what he was getting at or not.

“Yeah, okay,” he answers quickly. “This all you’ve been up to today?”

“Yup. Well, actually, I had sort of a date earlier?”

“Is that a question?” Brewer laughs at the strange inflection I end the sentence on.

“Kind of,” I chuckle. “It was supposed to be a date, but it fell apart pretty instantly.”

“I didn’t even know you dated,” Brewer muses. “I mean, obviously you date. I can’t picture you on a date, I guess.”

“Yeah, I’m not very good at it. I think I always pick the wrong guys. Or maybe, there isn’t really a right guy for me,” I admit and then immediately wonder why I told him something so vulnerable. “Forget I said that?”

“Aw, no worries, grizzly bear. I won’t tell anyone your deep dark secret that you actually have a heart under all that ice,” Brewer teases, and I grunt in response to deflect the comment. “So, why was the date so bad?”

“He was only looking to brag to his friends that he had a date with Tank.” I shake my head. “Honestly, even before I was in porn that seemed to be how most guys treated me. Not that I care. I’m fine on my own.”

“Of course you are,” Brewer agrees. “It’s nice to have someone sometimes, though. Not that I would know.” He gives a self-deprecating laugh.

“You have guys falling all over you.”

“For a fuck, not for a relationship. People only want a fun night with Brewer.” He echoes more or less what I just said, and it draws me up short. He wears his Brewer persona just like I wear Tank. Does anyone know who’s really underneath our masks?