“So, I finally get to see the inside of Trinity Hurst’s room. Only took a broken leg to get here.”
That earns me a smirk from Trinity. I’m so fuckin’ happy to be free from the hospital. Still feel like I got hit by a train, but at least I’m free. As free as I can be with this clunky, fuckin’ cast anyway.
“How come your room is so much nicer than our rooms upstairs?” I tease.
“‘Cause you’re all pigs?” I love the laugh that comes with the words. She’d been so silent and tense the whole way home. Said she was worried about me, but I could tell more than my gimpy condition was on her mind.
“No twin bed?” I ask.
Her startled eyes meet mine. “I ordered a new one,” she whispers.
I look around the spacious bedroom. “You had a twin bed? Here too?”
Her chin tilts down and she lifts her shoulders in an embarrassed shrug.
“So, you got this for me?” I jerked my chin at the king-sized bed occupying the entire right corner of the room.
“Well, the club bought it for you.” She waves her hand at the bed. “It’s one of those adjustable ones, so you can elevate your leg. I want you to be comfortable.”
Fuck, I don’t even know what to say to that. “Thanks, angel.”
She gives me a quick nod, then turns and starts rifling through her dresser drawers. Weary from the day, I throw myself onto the bed. Watching her sends dark questions through my mind.
“What are you doing?” I finally ask.
“Grabbing a few things. I’ll stay in your room upstairs.”
Like hell. “Why?”
“So you can recover in peace.”
“Trinity, spending time with you is the only damn thing I’ve been looking forward to about this whole mess.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. Now get your sweet ass over here.”
She places the clothes in her hand back in the dresser and shuts the drawer.
Damn straight.
Without hesitation, she takes a few steps until she’s standing in front of me. Taking her hand, I press my lips against her fingers.
“I meant what I said in the hospital, Trin.”
She tosses her head from side to side. “You were high on painkillers.”
“Babe, I ain’t ever been high on anything in my life that would make me say that shit if I didn’t mean it.”
A quick tug and spin gets her ass perched on the thigh of my good leg.
“What did I say in the hospital before Rock interrupted us?”
“You said a lot of stuff,” she hedges. Trinity can’t help but make this difficult. I understand, I guess. We’ve been hurting each other for years. Besides that, I have a better understanding of just how damaged she is. That leaves things up to me, and it’s not like I’m the poster boy for healthy relationships.
Man, we’re so fucked.
Running back over the last few days, I try to recall exactly what I said to her.
“Trinity, I started falling for you eight years ago—”
“Wyatt,” she sighs, cutting me off.
“No. No talking. Just listen.” I press my hand against her mouth to emphasize the no talking thing.
“I’m sorry about the shit I did in the past. But I want us to move forward. Together. You and me.”
She wraps her fingers around mine, and tugs my hand from her mouth. “Can I speak now?”
“Only if you’re going to say ‘Yes, Wyatt, I understand.’”
One corner of her mouth tugs up. She must think I’m kidding.
“What are you going to do when you get bored with me? Or you’re mad at me ‘cause you think I looked at one of the guys the wrong way? Or a new club girl shows up and you want to—”
“Hush. In eight years, I ain’t been bored of you yet.”
“Yeah, but except for getting you ready for the fight, we’ve barely spent any time together. There’s nothing interesting about me. I’m a glorified housekeeper.”
“Are you fucking with me right now?”
“Wyatt, I don’t know how to be in a one-on-one relationship. I’ve never seen a healthy example of one.”
“You think I have?”
She stops and seems to think that over.
I wrap my hand around hers. “Listen, I enjoy being with you.”
Her face softens, and she brushes her fingers over my cheek. “I like being with you too.”
“Good.” I take a deep breath for the next part. “When I’m with you. Really with you, I don’t want to fuck anyone else.”
The hand against my cheek trembles and she puts it back in her lap. Her eyes drop down and I slip my fingers under her chin to tip her head back up.
“The thought of you fucking any anyone else sends me into a murderous rage. I’m actually getting rage-y thinking about it right now, Trin.”
Her mouth twitches. Mine doesn’t and she realizes I’m dead fucking serious.
She doesn’t pull away. My words don’t scare her. Thank fuck she knows I’d never hurt her. No, my rage I take out on myself and other unsuspecting fighters.
“We’ve hurt each other a lot over the years, yeah?”
She nods.
“So, how about this. While we’re trying this out,”—I have to pause because this next part is sticking in my throat like glue— “if either of us feels like fucking someone else, we talk it out first?”
She snorts, then rolls her eyes. “How’s that going to work? One of the girls puts her hand on your dick and offers you a blowjob and you’re going to say ‘hang on, honey, I need to ask Trinity if she minds?’ Not fucking likely.”
Laughter rumbles out of me so hard, she bounces in my lap. “Yeah, something like that. I need to learn to curb my impulsive behavior anyway. Getting too old for shit that gets me in trouble all the time.”
“What are you talking about? You’re the most in-control person I’ve ever known. It’s why you’re such a good enforcer.”
“Yeah, that’s the only place my gut instincts serve me well. Everywhere else it just fucks things up.”
“Like what?”
“Like eight years ago, when you tried to explain yourself to me and instead of listening, I stormed the fuck outta here. Or like not that long ago when I thought you were hooking up with Z and I took Cherry up to my room to get even with you.”
“Oh.”
She’s silent as she absorbs everything I’ve laid out. Then, “You want me to be your girl?”
“More than anything.”
“Wow.” She hesitates and shakes her head. “You want to be my man?”
“Yes.” Your only man, but I keep that to myself. I think I already made myself clear on this subject. Apparently I’m going for broke today. I force myself to take a deep breath. “I love you so fucking much, Angel Face.”
Wary honey eyes stare back at me as her breath stutters and catches. “Wyatt?”
“Say it. Don’t say it. I don’t care, Trinity. It’s true and I need you to know.”
Tears run down her cheeks and I suffer some minor guilt. I’ve laid an awful lot on her, awful fast today.
Her fingers trace over my face, stopping at my chin. “I can’t love you, Wrath. It hurts too much.”
She’s trying to distance herself by using my nick name. Okay. I get it. I can deal with it. I just hold her tighter. I’m surprised by how little her denial bothers me. She may not recognize it or know it, but she loves me. She’ll figure it out. I’ll spend every day showing her I’m worth the risk.
“Doesn’t matter, babe. I love you enough for both of us. I’ll prove to you we can do this. We’re done hurting each other.”
Along with his clothes and other belongings, Wrath unpacked a lot of heavy feelings in my room today. I don’t know what to make of anything he confessed.
He thinks he’s in love with me.
Shit. I don’t know what love is. Hatred, sure. I have a lot of that stored up inside. Not for Wrath. Not anymore anyway. Maybe never. For myself? Definitely. Sometimes there’s so much hatred inside I don’t think there’s room for anything more.
I’m behind the bar in the front room of the clubhouse. Wrath’s in the middle of the room, soaking up the attention of his brothers and other friends who’ve joined the MC tonight to welcome him home. Each girl who approaches him gets a nod, but nothing more. Even through the crowd, I catch him watching me as I’m slinging drinks.
My gaze skips to Rock who’s pacing the room. He’s tried to reach Hope a few times and if it wasn’t for this being Wrath’s welcome home party, I’m pretty sure he’d be banging on her front door right now. When he finally gets her on the phone, the change on his face is visible even from where I’m standing.
Wrath nudges in and takes the phone away from Rock, shouting something at Hope. He gets a thump for his troubles, but laughs it off.
“Your boy is a pain in my ass, Trinny,” Rock grumbles as he sits down at the bar.
My boy. Did Wrath talk to Rock already? I need to ask him not to. I’m not ready for that. I mean, it’s stupid because the whole house probably knows by now that Wrath and I are shacking up together in my room. But I still have the cover story of it being about him recovering from his injuries. No need to go public with our “relationship” yet. I can’t stand the looks of pity I’ll get when we blow up.
Because let’s face it, we’re going to blow the fuck up. No matter what he said earlier, the reality is there’s no way Wrath and I will work.
“I hear you, prez. Hasn’t been in my room a minute and he’s driving me nuts.”
“I heard that,” Wrath calls from his spot halfway across the room.
“Friggin’ bat ears, I swear,” I mutter under my breath. Rock snorts. “Hope coming up tonight?”
“Yup. Just talked to her. She’s going to bring a few things up. I think you’re getting thin back there.”
“That’s nice of her.” I’m surprised because Rock’s developed a weird thing about Hope not doing stuff around the MC. Whether it’s for my benefit or hers I’m not sure. It would be annoying if after all these years his ol’ lady came in and took over things, so I’m not complaining. As much as I like Hope, she doesn’t strike me as the domestic type.
I keep busy running back and forth to the kitchen. Every time I look up, Wyatt has his eyes on me.
I’m an idiot for pushing him away earlier. But I know how this works. I watched my mother do the ol’ lady thing, then the whore thing. The constant heartache and worrying seemed miserable. Never expected to find myself living the same life.
Not quite the same. I’m not saddled with a kid I never wanted and a man who taps club ass behind my back.
Because I am the club ass. How does Wrath really think this is going to work? If I give in and admit my feelings for him, I’m the one who stands to lose the most when we break up. Not him.
Why does he think he’s in love with me? Sex? Yes. No problems there. Except when he does that weird hot and cold thing that confuses the hell out of me.
My gaze drifts to him again. Still watching me. My mouth turns up.
We’ve got a full house tonight. Couple members from the downstate charter even came up to celebrate Wrath’s return.
Obviously no one learned their lesson from the Inga incident, because I spot a few dancers from CB milling around. I recognize one grubby little gold-digger—Lexi, and I want to kick the shit out of her when she perches her perfectly tight ass in Wrath’s lap.
See, this right here is one problem. I don’t want all my possessive instincts stirred up.
I do laugh when Wrath pushes her off his lap and she almost falls because she can’t balance herself on her seven-inch fuck-me stilettos.
Strike one.
She stumbles over toward me and leans on the bar. “He’s in a worse mood than usual. What’s his issue?”
I wasn’t aware that we were friends, but I answer anyway, trying to be a good hostess. “Maybe he didn’t want you sitting in his lap, with the broken leg and all.”
Or maybe he meant what he said earlier.
She glances over her shoulder at him. “Oh yeah. Oops.” She giggles and I work on keeping my hand still so I don’t smack her. We almost died the other night and he’s laid up for the next four months, yeah, it’s a real laughfest.
Bitch.
Rock stops by the bar again. “You okay back here?”
“Yup.”
“Hey, Rock. We miss you at the club,” Lexi coos while running her hand up his arm.
Even though he smiles back, he removes her hand and takes a step away.
Strike two.
“Z and Dex treating you okay?”
“Oh yeah.” She lets out the fakest giggle and tosses her hair. I roll my eyes. “But it took two men to fill your shoes.”
Good God.
Rock smirks, and turns to me. “I’m gonna be outside waitin’ for Hope. She should be here any minute.”
“Sounds good. Will you at least let me say hi to her before you tuck her away upstairs?” I respond with a wink.
“I’ll do my best.” He takes another step from the bar. “Good to see you, Lex.”
“Are any of these guys DTF?” Lexi bitches at me.
I scan the room. No one here I dislike enough to sic her on.
“Maybe one of the prospects?” I suggest. They never get any ass.
Finally she wobbles away. Just in time too, because Hope breezes in about five seconds later.
“Finally!” I shout and throw my arms around her. She laughs and hugs me back.
“Rock said you were bringing supplies.”
She nods at the hallway. “He asked the prospects to unload my car.”
I quirk an eyebrow. Just how much did she bring?
“I’ll go check. Make sure you give him lots of attention,” I say nodding at Wrath.
Her gaze sweeps the room, nose wrinkling at the antics of some of the guys. But her lips curve into a smile when she spots Wrath.
“Hope! You’re finally here,” Wrath calls out.
She turns to me. “Did the doctor ever tell you how bad his head injury was?”
It takes a second, but I realize she’s joking. When I’m finished laughing, I tap the bag in her hand. “What’s in there?”
She tilts her head in Wrath’s direction. “He asked for Jack Daniels.”
“Oh boy, he’ll love you forever.”
She laughs and crosses the room, shyly handing him the bag. Wrath said she brought him burgers in the hospital. It’s cute that they’ve reached some strange, friendly truce since the accident.
Shaking my head, I walk down to the kitchen to make sure the prospects don’t make a mess out of my pantry while they’re unloading Hope’s car.
When I return, Wrath’s over on the couch with Rock and Hope. Without me behind the bar, no one could figure out how to serve themselves, so there’s a bit of a line waiting for me. I get most of them taken care of pretty quick. When I glance up, Hope’s on her way over, looking dejected and annoyed. My gaze flicks to Wrath and Rock who seem to be having an intense discussion.
“I’ve been sent away,” Hope grumbles as she leans her elbows on the counter.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. “Club business?”
“Something about Wrath’s gym.”
Okay. Furious Fitness isn’t exactly top secret, but I feel I should warn Hope should she ever overhear something relating more closely to the MC. Especially as I spot a number of other members from our downstate charter in the room. “Always play dumb when it comes to club business, Hope.”
Poor girl reacts like I threw a bucket of ice water in her face. Shit. I should have kept my mouth shut. “I’m sorry, Hope. I didn’t mean to sound like I was scolding you. Just if…you know, we were ever around any other clubs or one of our other charters—always act as if you hear nothing.”
She pauses then leans back over the bar. “Sorry, Trinity. I know you’re just looking out for me.”
That’s a relief. The last thing I want to do is disrespect Rock by offending his woman. She flashes a pained smile at me. I try to picture myself in her world—wearing a suit, arguing in a courtroom—I’d be completely out of place. And while I’m aware of and understand a woman’s place in the MC world, I’m sure it pisses Hope off. “I’m used to it, but I imagine it’s weird for you.”
She still looks a little forlorn. Even worse, I notice a number of the guys in the room checking her out. Rock’s wrapped up in his discussion with Wrath, so he hasn’t noticed yet. Only a matter of time before he does and loses his shit.
“FYI, I wouldn’t keep standing like that in a room full of bikers. You know how they say men think about sex seventy-five percent of the time? With these guys, it’s closer to ninety-nine percent.”
She doesn’t answer, but she does turn and glance at Rock, who’s got his eye on her now.
Z walks up behind her and by the grin on his face, I know he’s about to cause trouble. “Hey, Hope. Keep standing like that and you’re just begging for a spankin’,” Z says, eying her up and down.
Her reaction is pretty funny. She straightens up and yanks her shirt down over her ass. “Told ya,” I say through a mouthful of giggles.
“You startled me, you perv!” she yelps, slapping his arm.
Z gives her one of his panty-dropping smiles, but Hope’s immune to anyone’s charm but Rock’s.
Although, if he keeps acting this way, “Rock’s gonna kill you,” I warn him.
“Nah. Hope’s like that hot sister-in-law you got inappropriate feelings for, but wouldn’t touch on a dare.”
She has no idea what to do with that. “Thanks, I think.”
Z winks and I know whatever he’s about to say will embarrass me. He’s got some sort of agenda tonight and I can’t figure it out. “Now you,” he says, focusing all his attention on me. “Nothing about my feelings for you are brotherly. What are you doing later?”
Is he fucking kidding? In front of Hope? Why?
“Can I get a Crown and Coke to go, please?” Hope asks.
After she practically runs away with her drink. I turn my glare on Z. “Why would you try to embarrass me in front of her?” Shit, my nose stings and my cheeks feel like I’ve been standing in front of the oven for too long.
“Give it a second.” He glances over his shoulder at Hope, who’s now snuggled up against Rock. “I love the girl, but she won’t be able to keep her mouth shut.”
Sure enough, Wrath’s angry gaze swings our way. The scowl on his face deepens when he notices, Z running his fingers over my hand. “You’re an ass,” I grumble, while snatching my hand away.
A wave of people come in the front door and I’m swamped. Not enough that I miss Wrath slap Z on the back—hard—and tell him Rock’s looking for him. Z laughs and ducks away.
Wrath crosses his massive arms over his chest and leans against the wall behind the bar. “You almost done, babe?”
“In a minute.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch him yanking his phone out his of pocket.
A few minutes later I realize what he did. Hoot nudges me out of the way to take over bar duty. I edge out from behind the bar. A few of the guys ask where I’m going. Bitching about Hoot not being as pretty a bartender.
“What’s wrong?” I ask Wrath as I approach.
“Gettin’ tired of you waitin’ on everyone else. You’re supposed to be waitin’ on me.” He flashes that boyish smile of his that does me in every time.
He bitches about the crutches the whole way to my room and drops them at the foot of the bed as soon as we’re inside.
“What was that all about with Z?” he asks.
I can’t stop the immediate eye-roll. “Messing with you. Obviously it worked.”
“What did he say?”
“I don’t know, he made a joke about spanking Hope’s ass—”
“Oh, so he’s as good as dead,” he quips and flings himself onto the bed.
“You need your pain meds?”
His jaw clenches and I know he wants to say no. Wrath’s very much a Real men don’t need pain killers type of guy.
“I probably shouldn’t. Had a lot to drink.”
I hesitate because this is weird. “Um, I’m going to change.”
“Okay,” he answers making no move to…what I don’t know. Where’s he supposed to go? I grab a nightshirt. As my hand closes over the bathroom door, Wrath asks, “Where you going?”
“Uh, in the bathroom to change.”
“Why? I’ve seen you naked.”
Yes, that’s true. I turn and find him grinning. “What do you expect? A strip show?
“No.”
“This is weird,” I mutter.
“What?”
I point at him and then myself. “You, me, us, this whole domestic weirdness we’re doing.”
The smile slides right off his face. “Why? You were staying up in my room before the fight,” he says softly. Too softly for Wrath.
“That was different.”
“Why? Because I told you I love you?”
Shit. “About that…. Can we not tell people about whatever this is just yet?”
He’s silent, but his jaw’s ticking like crazy. “Tell me why,” he finally says.
Why? Because this is never going to work. “Everyone knows you’re just staying here because of the cast.”
“Trinity, I could have figured something else out. Hell, I could have kicked you out of here and told you to go stay up in my room if I really wanted to.”
My throat’s so tight I can barely speak. “If this doesn’t…if we don’t make it this time…I don’t want everyone feeling sorry for me.” Then there’s the biggest reason of all. The one I hate the most because it means I’m only thinking of myself. “I don’t want to be kicked out.” I hate how pathetic and miserable I sound. Inside I’m ticked he’s forcing me to voice my insecurities.
“Shit, baby. Come here.” He holds out his hands to me, but I’m rooted to my spot. “Trinity, come here. Now,” he says, much louder.
That voice my body responds to, and I find myself in front of him. His hands curl over my hips, holding me in place. “I’d never do that to you.” There’s no judgment or anger in his voice and I relax a bit. “Besides, you know the club wouldn’t survive without you takin’ care of us.”
I snort and lift my gaze to meet his eyes. Those deep, ocean-eyes, pulling me under. Making me think maybe we have a chance.
Did I finally get through to her? It’s hard to tell. For fuck’s sake, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. What does she need?
To feel secure, wanted, and loved. To be safe.
I know I can give her all of that. And more.
She shakes her head and sighs. “You guys would find some other chick to help out.”
“Is that what you think? You’re replaceable? Fuck without you we’d probably starve to death for one thing.” She chuckles and looks away. “We’d definitely be rolling around in our own filth.” She laughs a little harder.
“But—” I struggle to come up with the right words. “Even when I’ve been mad at you, I’ve needed you in my life, Trin.”
The admission seems to startle her, but then her face softens. “I always feel better when you’re around,” she says.
Hell, that’s practically an I love you from Trinity. “Even when I’m a jerk?”
“Yeah, then I just fantasize about slitting your throat.”
I throw my head back and laugh. “Remind me to chuck my pocketknife.” Her mouth quirks. “Okay, will you be more comfortable if we don’t go public right now?”
She doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”
“Until the cast comes off?” I ask, because, fuck that’s months away.
She nods. “And you’re sure you want to be with me?”
“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life, babe.” I run my hand over my head, wincing when I brush over the bandage. “Fuck, that’s a long time. Four months?”
Her eyes well up. “I’m sorry. Maybe—”
I press a finger to her lips. “If that’s what you need, then that’s what we’ll do. But in here, together. We’re doing this for real.” I poke my finger at the door. “Any of them—” Fuck, I hate this. “You shut them down, and if they give you shit, send them to me.”
“People are going to wonder.”
“No one will have the balls to stick their nose in our business. They’ll just assume I’m being my regular asshole self.”
“That’s not fair. I’m sorry.” She slides to the floor and grabs for my belt.
“What are you doing?”
She flutters her lashes at me and her lips curve into a smile that I think she intended to be sexy, but it’s more sad. “You really have to ask?”
My hand closes over hers and I pull her away. In my shorts, my dick’s cursing me out. “No. Not like this.”
Her bottom lip juts out. “What? Why?”
“You think I’m mad at you, and that’s not what’s going on here.”
Her smile disappears.
I jerk my chin at the bathroom door. “Go change. I’m exhausted and I bet you are too.”
She balances on my good leg and pushes up off the floor. “I’m sorry I’m so fucked up.”
“Babe, we’re all fucked up in one way or another. One day you’ll tell me what your reason is.”
Stunned honey eyes stare back at me. What? She thought I wasn’t going to want to know every piece of her eventually? “Be surprised all you want, Angel Face. But I intend to be your man in every single way.”