Wrath told me I’m not supposed to cook for the house anymore. But honestly, everyone will starve if I don’t. I like cooking most of the time and getting things ready for the guys in the morning. With that in mind, I slip out of bed to start the coffee.
Hoot’s already in the kitchen, but he’s spilled coffee grounds everywhere.
“I got it, kid.”
Today he smiles gratefully.
Teller’s the first one in the dining room. He’s sitting, staring at the mural over the bar.
“Morning,” I chirp as I set down a mug and fill it with coffee.
He glances up at me and a hint of a smile curves his mouth. “Sorry I missed the bonfire,” he says.
“It’s okay.”
“You know Wrath told us yesterday?”
“Yeah.”
He fists his hands on the table. “I care about you so much, Trinity.”
The raw sound of his voice makes it clear his feelings are more than friendly or fuck buddy. I’m utterly floored. I had no idea.
“Teller—”
“No, it’s my own fault. I never said anything. I didn’t think we could be a possibility, so I just took whatever you would give me. Figured you thought I was too young for you or something. But if I thought there had been a chance, you and me…I would have done it differently.”
Shit. The misery in his voice cuts right through me. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Wrath had the stones to actually fight for you. He earned you. You deserve someone willing to fight for you. I’m happy for you both, even if I’m sad for myself. He really loves you, you know.”
“I know.”
“Does he make you happy?”
“He really does. I love him too. Long time now.” Oh my God. That came out so easy. Why can’t I say it to Wrath’s face?
“Fuck,” Teller mutters. “All these years, I never…He must hate me.”
I’d been so wrapped up in my own bullshit. It never occurred to me how my actions might affect their friendship. I pat his shoulder, but it feels awkward and wrong for some reason. “Teller, we’ll still be friends.”
“I know.”
“You’ll find the right girl.”
He snorts a laugh. “I’ll probably just fuck it up again.”
“You didn’t fuck anything up. I’m sorry I didn’t realize—”
“It’s not on you, Trin.”
I’m so stunned. And ashamed.
All my life I thought I wasn’t worthy of love, making the last twenty-four hours utterly confusing. Hell, the last few months have been confusing. A sick feeling slithers through me. For years, I’ve used Teller. Many little gestures come to mind. The way he’d fall asleep holding me. I always thought he was teasing when he asked why I took off in the middle of the night. Whenever I thought he was getting too close, I used one of the other guys to push him away.
“Teller, I know we’ve never talked about this, but I had a really shitty childhood. I didn’t think I was worth loving for a long time. It never occurred to me you might feel that way. I’m so sorry.”
He wraps one hand over mine. “Honey, you’re one of the sweetest people I know. I can’t think of anyone who deserves love more than you do. You’ve nothing to be sorry for. It’s on me. You’re where you’re supposed to be. I’ll be fine.”
Hot tears threaten to fall. My God. I never knew Teller to be so poetic.
We stare at each other a little longer before I get up.
“Eggs and bacon?”
“That would be awesome. Thank you, Trinity.”
Waking up alone unnerves me. I declared my feelings in front of the entire club yesterday. From now on, I expect to wake up next to my girl. My breath catches and I hold it, listening for sounds that she’s just in the bathroom. Nothing.
Sighing, I throw back the covers and get up to find her. Guilt nags me because I’m thinking maybe it was too much, too soon and Trinity ran from me. Or worse jumped into bed with someone else. I hate myself for thinking that. It’s been eight years of us playing sick games with each other though. We still need time to adjust. The guys all sat there and heard me announce my claim on her. Only someone with a death wish would take her to bed after that. I’m sick that I have more faith in my brothers than my girl.
Walking down the hall to the dining room, another thought occurs to me. She’s been getting things ready every morning for years. I’m sure me telling her she didn’t have to do that anymore didn’t sink in. She likes helping out and feeling useful. Nothing I say will change that.
Feeling better about the possibilities, I turn to enter the dining room. Voices reach me and I step back. Teller and Trinity. Fuck.
“I care about you so much, Trinity.”
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
“Teller—”
The pain in her voice is so clear, I’m ready to slam Teller’s face into the table. I just barely manage to stop myself.
“He really loves you, you know.”
“I know.”
Thank God.
“Does he make you happy?”
I hold in a breath waiting for her answer.
“He really does. I love him too. Long time now.”
Blood thunders through my ears and something loosens in my chest. I needed to hear her say this. I know she loves me. And I don’t care that she can’t say it to my face. Hearing her say it to Teller though? I’m stunned and stupid-happy.
Unfortunately with the relief crashing through me, I missed part of their conversation.
“It’s not on you, Trin.”
Good boy, Teller.
My poor girl’s got so much guilt over something that isn’t even her fault. So help me God, if Teller doesn’t say the right thing, I’m going to break his face.
“You’re where you’re supposed to be.”
I can live with that. They’re saying goodbye in their own way. It’s a good thing. Lord knows we don’t need tension in the club. I’m proud of my girl. Proud of my brother too. Takes a big man to admit that shit.
I promise myself I won’t hassle little welterweight for at least a month.