FATE

 

Chapter 1

 

Pete

 

 

I closed the ledger and leaned back into the rich cherry colored leather of the desk chair. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, thinking about how much easier things had been when my father was around running things at Killarny Estate. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t become accustomed to over the years. Being the oldest of the five Killarny brothers, it was expected from birth that I would be the one to take over the day to day running of the ranch. While all the brothers were equal partners in running the ranch, it was I who was the most responsible. Ask anyone. It was also me that my dad had turned to back when my mother, Emily Killarny, had first been diagnosed with breast cancer.

At my mother’s request, I took on the additional tasks that my father had usually taken care of. Most of it was business, the sort of thing that didn’t capture my attention quite like the quiet, meditative work with the horses, but I knew what had to be done. Most of all, I hadn’t wanted to let my mother down.

Emily Killarny was a force unto herself, but she had a kind and good heart, and above all, she loved her children. I was aware that I had a special place in her heart when she had gone out of her way to be the best kind of grandmother she could be to Emma. I’d been dejected and alone, raising a two year old daughter alone after my ex-wife, Kelly, decided one day that motherhood and married life wasn’t for her. My parents had been so kind to us in the days following that abandonment, and I would forever be grateful to both of them. My mother had especially done all that she could to make sure that Emma felt safe and loved after her mother’s abrupt departure.

Back then my major responsibilities had been tending to the horses, something I still loved and wished I was able to do more of, but being the oldest, and since my father had relocated to Costa Rica, I knew I had to be the one to step up to the plate. My mother’s death three years prior had taken a toll on the family patriarch, and after suffering a severe bout of depression, he finally decided to make some major changes. One of those changes included leaving the states and relocating to a warmer climate, leaving the green Kentucky hills behind him in favor of sun and sand. Some days I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of that, but I knew that my heart would always be right here, wherever Emma was.

I opened my eyes again and looked at my computer screen for a moment before getting up and heading for the door, grabbing my jacket on the way. There was still a chill in the air that early in the Kentucky spring and it was invigorating to step out into the morning air, breathing in the fresh smell of new grass and the less pleasing scent wafting from the nearest barn. The smell of manure might not have appealed to everyone, but for me, it was a reminder of home and childhood.

I breathed in the air and made my way over to the stables where my brother Alex was brushing out the coat of a two year old mare.

“She looks beautiful,” I said as I came up to stand on the other side of the stall door.

Alex nodded. “Siobhan is quite a looker.” He brushed her russet coat to a glistening sheen that caught the early morning sun and made the horse look like a copper penny.

“You think we’ll run her next year?” I asked him as I looked over the horse from nose to tail. She was beautiful, but I wasn’t sure if she was one of the horses that we would end up taking to the many derbies we were involved in.

Alex shrugged. “Not sure. She hasn’t been run that much, and I really think that if we had planned on doing that with her, she should have seen a little more practice at this point in her life. I think she is a great horse, but I’m not sure the derby life is the one for her. However, I do think she is going to give us a lot of talented foals.”

Alex was probably the quietest of all the brothers, so hearing him talk this much was a little unusual. The only time Alex had much to say was when he was talking about a horse. Not much for words and usually keeping to himself, he was definitely the most horse whisperer like among us and was more involved with the training of individuals here at the ranch. He was so in tune with the horses that it helped to have his expertise around to help people become accustomed to green horses. While most of our horses were bred here on the ranch, we did keep a group of wild ponies from the Dakotas on one of the spreads of land that was fenced off from the rest. Alex’s house was out there and visiting that part of the ranch felt like entering a wilderness. I could see why my parents had given him that parcel when they were divvying up the land to us. It fit my younger brother’s personality perfectly, and he was never happier than he was when he was among the wild horses.

“Her mother is Spring, right?” I asked.

“Yeah, and her father was David’s Lariat.”

David’s Lariat had been one of Alex’s favorites. A horse that my father had acquired from a Colorado ranch when we were still very young, the horse had been a monster of an animal when we got him. He stood taller than any of our other horses but managed to be faster than almost any horse half his weight. He was a marvel and had produced many of our fastest horses. David’s Lariat had died just a year before, but we still had a few of his offspring around the ranch and would likely see his influence in our derby horses for decades to come.

“Well, even if she isn’t going to run for us, she’s a beautiful girl, and I’m sure she’ll give us a few great runners.”

“What are you up to?” Alex asked as he put away the brush and stepped out of the stall to join me where I stood.

I shrugged. “Just needed to get out of the office for a little while.”

“Already?” He looked at his watch. “It’s early in the day. Why don’t you hire someone to take care of some of the stuff you don’t enjoy? That’s what bookkeepers are for, after all. It would give you a break and let you have a chance to get back out here with the horses where you want to be.”

Alex was perceptive with more than just the horses.

“Yeah, well, I might do that after the next couple of derbies have passed. I’ve got too much on my plate right now to hand it over to someone totally new.”

My brother sighed and shrugged. “Whatever you say. Just don’t be afraid to ask for a little help when you need it.”

I gave him a firm pat on the back and continued on down through the stables, past the stalls that housed our many horses. A few of our ranch hands were leading some of the horses out to graze in the pasture, while some of them were headed to the arena and our track for training. As I exited the other end of the massive stable, I saw Emma atop her horse, Saoirse.

“How’dya do, Miss Emma Lou?”

Emma frowned at me, and I could see her brow furrowing under her helmet. I knew she hated it when I referred to her middle name, Louise, but told myself that someday she would come to think of it as endearing, so I kept up the practice.

She tossed her head back. “Saoirse and I just went out for our morning run. I was about to take her back to the stable and then head in for my lessons. Is Hetty here yet?”

I shook my head. “She wasn’t there when I left the house, but there’s a good chance she’s arrived by now. Better hurry on back, you don’t want to be late.”

My twelve year old daughter beamed at me from where she sat on her horse and headed into the stable before dismounting. I watched her lead her young horse into the stall and couldn’t help but notice how much she was starting to look like her mother. It wasn’t a bad thing, but I did wonder how Emma would feel as she looked in the mirror and started to notice the resemblance she shared with the woman who left her—and me—behind when Emma was just a toddler.

I walked toward the pasture as I recalled the time directly after Kelly left. It had been a shock to me when it happened, but when I had a little time to think it over, nothing about it was too surprising. We had married straight out of high school, and my parents had been opposed to the match from the start. Kelly’s parents were business owners in the nearest town, and ours had been the kind of wedding that made the local papers. Our courtship had been brief — we dated at the end of high school, and because I was an idiot, I had proposed to Kelly not long after graduation. We married and moved into a house here at Killarny Estate and had had a hell of a time for the first couple of years.

Kelly was wild and looking back I could tell she had been just a little too wild for me. It wasn’t something I had noticed at the time, and while it was just the two of us, it was easy to forget that we were stepping into a new world that included all sorts of new responsibilities. Back then we would spend our weekends hopping around the bars in town before heading back to the privacy of our house at the ranch and going at it like rabbits. It was no surprise when Kelly got pregnant, and I was overjoyed, but she didn’t seem too enthused about it. Slowly she warmed to the idea, and once Emma was born, I could see that she really did love our daughter.

Things were never the same though. Kelly never looked at me the same way, and I tried to encourage her to go see a doctor to see if what she was struggling with was postpartum depression, but she wouldn’t listen.

I came home one evening to find all of Kelly’s things gone, a note on the kitchen table, and Emma wailing in her playpen. I had picked up my daughter and the note and read the words through tears as Emma sniffled and buried her head against my shoulder. Kelly was gone. She apologized in the letter, said she was heading to California to pursue her dream of being an actress, and that she was going with her friend, Bud.

Bud was the guy she had dated before me in high school, and suddenly it all started to make sense. We never really heard from her after that, aside from a Christmas card or a birthday present for Emma on the years that Kelly remembered, which were few and far between.

As far as I knew, Emma had no real memory of her mother. It made me sad, but I wondered if it was for the best that she didn’t know what she was missing out on. If Kelly had hung around much longer, it would have been more difficult than it already was to get Emma used to not having her mother around.

I had been so grateful to my parents for the support they were during that time, especially my mother. She had done all she could to be the maternal figure in my daughter’s life, but she never stopped pressing me to go on dates and get out there again, constantly reminding me that I was still young and there was happiness out there for me if I would just go looking for it.

Her last attempt had been just a few years before she passed away when I had first hired Hetty Blackburn, a local teacher, to be Emma’s tutor. The ranch was well out of the way, and it was quite a hike to the nearest school, so I had decided to homeschool Emma. It gave her a chance to be around the horses more and to study at her own pace, which was quite a bit faster than the average elementary school student, according to Hetty.

Hetty was pretty and a very sweet woman. Her black hair and blue eyes were a sort of bewitching combination that was hard to ignore, but I couldn’t get back into dating; not then and not now, even though it was 10 years since Kelly walked out. Even if I hadn’t already been very hesitant to date, Hetty already had one major strike against her—she knew my daughter.

I leaned against the bright white fence and watched as a group of our horses played together in the dewy field that was filled with clover. The place was even more picturesque than usual in this light. Killarny Estate was really something to be proud of, and I was so glad to have the privilege of being a part of a four generation horse ranch, the largest one in Kentucky, and now, for all intents and purposes, running the place.

One rule I had established for myself was that until I knew I could trust a woman, she would never meet my daughter. And since I wasn’t in the mood to start dating yet, nothing had ever made it that far. Sure, I had been with women since Kelly—too many to count—but I was there to get what I wanted and get out. I never went out with anyone that I thought was there for more than what I was because I had more heart than that. But I didn’t trust anyone to give me any more than what I was looking for at the moment. It was sex, pure and simple—though rarely pure or simple. I was there for a release, to have sex, hear them scream my name, and then leave quietly. The closest I had ever come to bringing a woman home was the Lawrence girl who I made it all the way back to the ranch with, but we never left my truck. We had made it as far as the pecan grove when I pulled over and had her right there in the cab of my pickup. When we were done, I turned around and drove her right back to her house. But that had been the last one, and that had been a long time ago now.

There was no need to complicate my life any more than it already was and I was certainly not going to bring any of these women into the life of my daughter. She had already experienced enough pain from my poor choices, and I wasn’t going to do that to her again.

My middle brother, Jake, came riding up on his stallion and brought the horse to a quick halt a few feet away from me.

“Showing off?” I asked as I cocked my eyebrow at him.

He swung down off the saddle and gave the horse a pat. “This bastard is ready to run!”

Clement certainly looked like he was ready for it. His eyes were wild, but it was clear that he was happy after his morning run with Jake.

“Think about how fast he’s going to be with one of the jockeys on him!”

I nodded. “We’re taking him to the Waters derby, right?”

“Yup, just a couple of weeks away now.”

I noted to myself that I needed to check that out on the calendar. There was still a lot left to do in preparation, and we weren’t sure how many horses we would be taking. Clement was certainly on the top of the list, but I knew we needed to have a few backups. Killarny Estate had always been top of the pack as far as producing some of the fastest race horses in the country, but ever since my father had packed it up and gone to Costa Rica, it felt like we had lost some of our edge. I had no idea what it was Dad had that we didn’t quite have down yet, other than the forty years of experience. What I did know was that it was crucial for us to win this derby. Things were tight, and if we were going to turn them around and maintain things the way they were around here, or if we were ever going to have any hope of making Killarny the very best again, we had to win the Waters derby.

“You coming?” Jake asked me as he brushed his reddish-brown hair back out of his face and wiped his brow with the back of his sleeve.

I looked at him bewildered. “Of course I am.”

He shrugged. “Don’t act like it’s a given. You haven’t been there in years.”

“Yeah, well…now I don’t really have any choice, do I? Dad is still in Costa Rica, and I don’t know the next time he’s planning on coming back, so I’ve got to be there to represent the ranch. And I think Emma would enjoy the trip to Tennessee, so yeah, I’ll be there.”

“You’re not nervous, are you?” Jake winked at me, and I frowned in response.

“Why would I be nervous?”

“Because,” he began, pausing to spit on the ground. “Little Sara Waters is going to be there. I wonder if she is going to follow you around like she always used to when we were kids.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sara Waters is thirty by now. I am sure she has got better things to do than chase around a nearly middle-aged man with his twelve year old daughter in tow.”

“Hey now, don’t write yourself off just yet. You’re only a year or so older than her, right? I bet she would be champing at the bit to get a piece of a Killarny brother.”

I shook my head and started off back toward the stable, Jake following behind me with Clement.

“Then she can have her pick of the other four. Hell, she can have both Stephen and Sam if she wants them.” I stopped and looked around. “Speaking of that, where are the twins?”

Jake shrugged as he continued toward the stable. “Who the hell knows. They’re out every night of the week. Probably still in bed.”

I knew he was kidding about the last thing. If we had been taught anything as kids, it was that getting up early in the morning was the Killarny way.

“Okay, well. I need to go find them. I’ll get back to you about the Waters derby. We need to talk about some logistics getting there, but it can wait until later.”

As I walked off toward the other barns to locate my two youngest brothers, I couldn’t help thinking about what Jake had said regarding Sara Waters. I hadn’t seen her since we were practically teenagers. It must have been a decade or so. I wondered what she looked like now and if there was a chance that we’d get some time alone when I was at her father’s derby in a few weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Sara

 

“Sara?”

I looked up from the top of my reading glasses that I used only when I was working on my laptop. They were sliding down my nose, and I pulled them off my face and rubbed the bridge of my nose as I looked at Elsie, my father’s secretary, standing in the doorway of my office.

“Yes?”

“Your father would like to see you. He said he’s got a few last minute things to go over for the derby.”

Of course, he does, I thought as I flashed Elsie a smile and a nod. He was waiting until two weeks before our derby to go over something that I had a feeling would be of utmost importance and require my immediate attention. It was the typical stunt my father always pulled this time of year.

“I’ll be right there. I’m just finishing up a few things.”

My father acted as if his office wasn’t right down the hall from mine. He certainly could have used what little exercise the walk would have provided, but I knew he was never in any kind of temperament to hear my suggestion.

I closed my laptop and grabbed my notebook full of notes for the upcoming derby and headed down the hallway to his office. I found my father leaning back in his chair, grinning wide, with a cigar hanging out of his mouth as he chuckled into his phone.

“Well, well. How about that! I imagine we’ll be seeing her here in a couple of years then. That’s great, Jameson. I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks. I’ll talk to you later.” He snapped the flip phone shut, and I shook my head, still surprised that the man refused to upgrade his cell phone from the one he had gotten ten years prior.

“That thing is going to give out on you,” I said with a half-smile.

“Nah, she’s holding up. They don’t make things like they used to. I’ll use her until it’s time to put her out to pasture.” He tapped the end of his cigar on the ashtray on his desk.

“You know, I could probably call OSHA about you smoking in here. I’m sure they’d have something to say about your daily cigar and the fact that your most valuable employee has to be exposed to carcinogens.”

He laughed. “Sweetheart, that’s the beauty of a home office. I’m the king around here. What I say, goes.”

“And your lungs may as well,” I said as I scrunched my nose and waved the smoke out of the air. “Elsie said you had a few things to talk to me about.”

He cleared his throat and put the cigar down in the ashtray, a thin thread of smoke rising from the tip.

“I sure do. With the derby coming up we’ve got a lot going on, and I know you’ve been just as busy as I have.”

I smirked but didn’t say anything. The idea that my father had been doing as much work around here for the derby as I had was laughable. Beyond making phone calls to his good ol’ boys at ranches around the country, he didn’t do an awful lot for the derby anymore. Most of the work was left to the rest of us and since I was second in charge most of it fell on my lap to take care of.

“It is definitely the busiest time of year for us,” I said with a nod.

He narrowed his eyes, and I could tell the wheels in his brain were turning.

“I hate to ask you to do much more, but I need you to make a call and take care of something for me.”

“What is it?” I asked, leaning in to see what he was looking at on his desk. He pushed a folder toward me. It was labeled ‘Killarny Estate’.’

“What’s going on with the Killarnys?”

My father took a deep breath. “I’m going to need you to tell them they won’t be entering a horse in this year’s derby. Not this one and, not the next one. Not ever again.”

I looked at him with my mouth agape. “Why would you remove the Killarnys from the derby? They’ve had a relationship with us for as long as anyone has and they have been a very valuable draw for us. People come from all over to see who the Killarnys are racing. Dad…you’re going to have to explain.”

“I’ve got my reasons,” he said, sounding suspicious as he picked up the cigar again.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and leaned back into my chair. “Well, you’re going to have to tell me what they are before I go about ending one of the oldest relationships we have with a stable. Aren’t you considering the kind of repercussions this could have?”

He shrugged. “Listen to me, Sara. There’s more going on here than what you think you know. I’ve been suspecting them of some things for quite some time, and I just want to keep things above board around here.”

“Above board?” I was confused. I had only ever known the Killarny Estate horses to be absolutely clean thoroughbreds. I couldn’t imagine the family being involved in something unsavory. “What are they doing? Are they colluding with someone? Fixing a race?” It was the only thing I could think of, but it seemed very far off base. Anything else though…would be nearly criminal to consider.

“I think they are doping their horses.” He said the words matter of factly and waited for me to respond.

“You’re kidding, right? Jesus, Dad, you’ve known Sean Killarny forever. The last thing they would do is dope their horses.”

“People do it all the time. You know that. When the testing isn’t as rigorous, it’s especially bad! And I’ve been noticing a few things over the years that have left me very suspicious of them. I also think that they’ve been using this relationship for a long time now and think that they can get away with it. Well, I’ve got news for Sean Killarny—it’s done. I don’t mess with dopers, and I won’t have them giving my derby a bad name. Imagine if the word got out that this was going on. People would bring this relationship up in the discussion for sure and then you would have folks looking at our derby. Think about all the sponsorship we could lose, not to mention our license.” He took a deep breath. “No, I cannot allow it to continue. They can’t keep coming here if they are going to operate that way.”

My mind was whirling, trying to put all the pieces together. I couldn’t believe that my father really thought the Killarnys were drugging their horses, but he was right—some people did, and if we were accused of having any connection to them it could look very bad for us.

“Evidence…I’m going to need to see something. I can’t just call them up and tell them without—”

“Sara.” He cut me off and held up his hand to silence me. “Trust me. I know what is going on over there. We can have no connection to it. I can make the call if you would rather not take care of this yourself, but since you are in charge of day to day operations, I thought it would be best if you took care of this yourself. If you can’t though…” he reached for his phone.

I shook my head. “No, I’ll take care of it. But I don’t think this is something I can do over the phone. I mean…Dad, they already paid the registration fee. We’re going to have to give that back to them if you don’t want any trouble out of this. They could sue you.”

He laughed. “There’s no way they are suing me. I know what they are up to and they sure as hell know what’s going on underneath the roof of their stables. Neither Sean nor his boys have the balls to take me to court because they know they are the ones who will end up in hot water if they do that.” My father opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out a checkbook. He picked up his pen and began making out the check, complete with the required number of zeroes. He signed his name and thrust the check at me. “Here, take it. Put it in the mail.”

I sighed. “Unfortunately, I think this is the sort of thing that has to be done in person. You know, we want to finesse this and treat it as sensitively as possible. They were our friends for a long time, and no matter what they are up to now, it would be inappropriate to put an end to a decade long relationship over the phone. I’ll take tomorrow off and drive up there to deliver this myself. Then maybe there won’t be much animosity.”

I got up and headed back to my office, trying to think how I could possibly smooth this over with the Killarnys. If my father was right then, we did need to end the relationship, but I definitely didn’t want to call them out on doping their horses without any evidence. No, I was going to have to cancel their registration and chalk it up as some kind of a mistake on our end. I would deal with it next year when it rolled around. Maybe their registration could get lost in the mail or something, but I would deal with that when it happened. Right now I needed to focus on how I was going to get them to believe whatever I said. And I needed to do it in a way that didn’t look completely suspicious.

Picking up my phone I looked up the number for Killarny Estate and dialed. A woman picked up, and I gave her my name.

“Mr. Killarny isn’t in right now. Could I take a message?”

Of course, a message. But what on earth would Sean Killarny believe?

“Could you tell him it’s Sara Waters and I’m just checking on some derby business? I’ll be by tomorrow afternoon if that’s okay. I wanted a chance to speak to him in person.”

“Okay then…it looks like he’s got an open afternoon. If you ring the bell at the main house when you get here, then we’ll find him for you. See you tomorrow, Miss Waters.”

 

 

I left the next morning and made the three hour drive to the Killarny Estate. It was nestled in an area with rolling green hills and was the most picturesque kind of horse ranch you could imagine. I knew I was getting close when I saw the pristine white fencing, but I was still several miles from the main entrance to the ranch. As soon as I pulled up to the stone arch, memories came flooding back of the time I spent here when I was a child. On occasion when my father purchased a horse from the Killarnys or had some derby business with them we would come up for a day visit, and I spent most of the time tormenting Pete Killarny, the oldest of the brothers who was the closest to my age. And to my ten year old eyes, he was the cutest. Back then he had sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and a few freckles dappled across his nose. I wasn’t quite as cute at the time. A little on the chubby side, my hair was frizzy, and I was just about to get braces. Soon after the glasses followed and it didn’t surprise me that when I had made Pete Killarny my first kiss he had been very reluctant.

I cringed at that particular memory and hoped that I wouldn’t run into him here. Of course, it had been years since that had happened and we had seen each other several times since then, but it didn’t change the fact that it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life. Pete had looked at me incredulously and somewhat shocked, then turned around and left the old barn where the kiss had occurred. It was while they had been visiting Tennessee for our derby and now that I thought about it, it must have been exactly twenty years prior. So much time had passed. I eventually grew up and out of my braces, glasses, and baby fat, and Pete had grown into a very attractive young man. The last time I saw him, he was dating a new girl, and I remember how she had clung to him like a leech from a pond on a hot summer day.

It surprised me to remember how jealous I had been at that moment. The girl was unknown to me, but I hated seeing Pete with another girl, no matter how ga-ga they appeared to be over each other. She had been drop dead gorgeous, and there was no way I could hold a candle to her black hair and blue eyes. She had been thin as a rail and just looked the part of a girl who would end up marrying the heir to a massive horse ranch.

“God, maybe I’ll run into her again, too,” I said as I pulled into the circle drive in front of the main house. It was a gorgeous white colonial with massive pillars and a lamp that hung down in front of the front door. The place was positively palatial, and I was sure there had to have been many renovations since the last time I had stepped foot in the house.

I hopped out of my SUV and made my way to the front door where I rang the bell that let out the longest chime in the history of doorbells, and I waited for someone to answer. A middle-aged woman came to the door with a smile on her face.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

I smiled back at her. “I’m here for a meeting with Mr. Killarny. I called and spoke with his secretary yesterday.”

She nodded. “Come right in. I’ll show you to his office.”

The woman led me from the main foyer with it’s wide staircase that was appropriate for a royal presentation, down a hallway that led to an even smaller hallway. She opened the first door and ushered me inside.

“I’ll see that Pete knows you’re here,” she said as she closed the door behind her and before I could say anything she was gone.

I looked around in surprise. The nameplate on the desk said it plain as day. Pete Killarny. Where was Sean? Maybe the man didn’t have time for me, and he was letting one of his sons take care of the business today. Thoughts ran through my mind, and I tried to calm myself down. It wasn’t a big deal that I had to deal with Pete. He was probably just as knowledgeable about the ranch business as his father was. After all, what was I doing here? Taking care of things for my father.

And it wasn’t as if Pete and I had a history beyond me kissing him once when I was a child. There was some kind of electric tension in the air though at the thought of seeing him again. It was a little like when I had gone back to my ten year high school reunion. Of course, that had been a bust because of social media and the fact that I still lived in the same town where I had graduated from, but this meeting held the same kind of nervousness for me.

I wondered what he looked like and I glanced around the office to see if there was any sign of a photo. The walls were covered with bookshelves which were filled with hardback, leather-bound volumes. It looked like mostly classics or the sort of thing you could get an interior decorator to put together for you. I wasn’t sure if Pete was much of a reader, but he had never struck me as one. When we were young, he had been the jock, the kind of guy other guys wanted to be, and all the girls wanted to be with. He was less obvious about it than some guys were though and really seemed to have a sweet and genuine side if you could get past the hard exterior.

A quick sweep of the room revealed nothing, and there was no sign of any photos on his desk. I thought it was peculiar, but it also didn’t look like it was Pete’s office for some reason.

I waited and watched the grandfather clock tick until several minutes had passed and then I heard the doorknob rattle. When I turned I saw that another woman was standing there, this one much younger and looking a little uncertain.

“Miss Waters?”

“Yes, I was just waiting for Mr. Killarny…but I thought I was going to be seeing Sean today.”

Understanding swept over her facial features. “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I thought you knew that Pete was running the day to day operations now. But about that, I think he must have missed your name in his schedule for the day, and I’m afraid he is somewhere out on the property. Probably working with the horses. If you’d like me to try to call him, I could do that…”

I stood and shook my head. “No, there’s no need for you to bother with that. I’m familiar with the place. If you don’t mind, I’ll just head out for a little stroll and see if I can find him.”

She smiled at me and nodded. “By all means.”

 

 

I made my way outside and down one of the pathways that led to the main stable and barns. The property was massive and meant he could be anywhere, so it might have been a foolish move not to have her call him. I had time to take a self-guided walking tour of Killarny Estate though.

Suddenly the reason I was here came back to me. If my dad thought they were doping their horses, then this might not be the wholesome family run ranch I had always thought it was. But I had no way of knowing and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go all out believing my dad’s hunches at this point. Still, it wasn’t going to be a pretty scene giving the check back to Pete, especially since he wasn’t expecting it.

I entered the stable and found it empty other than several horses in their stalls. They were all calmly chewing on hay and barely looked up to regard me. I smiled as I walked down the middle of the stable, taking in the beauty of the animals that the Killarny family had bred and raised. They had some of the best thoroughbreds in the country, and people paid top dollar to get their hands on some of the horses that came from this ranch. Being up close and personal with the amazing animals was a real treat that I savored. I couldn’t help having a love of horses. It had been instilled in me from a young age and even after my parents’ divorce when I was very young, my mom had made sure that I spent equal time with my father, so I had been exposed to the horses from the time I could walk.

I stopped in front of one of the stalls and read the nameplate.

“Hello, Saoirse. These Killarnys like their Irish names, don’t they? Well, you’re a beautiful girl, there’s no mistaking that.”

“Can I help you?” The voice echoed from the other end of the stable, and I turned to see who it was. The light coming from the stable exit left the person standing there in silhouette, and I couldn’t make out who it was until he got a little closer.

Pete Killarny. He wasn’t the little boy I had kissed, but he wasn’t much different from the young man I had last seen a little over ten years prior. His hair was darker now, and the freckles were gone, but his eyes were every bit as deep blue as they had been then. He had broadened though. His shoulders were wider, and he was muscular, a little bulkier than he had been when he was a teenager. No longer wiry, he walked with the confidence of a guy who owned the place.

And that he did. At least a portion of it.

But the part that surprised me, the most shocking feeling that I hadn’t expected at all, was the immediate desire to jump him. He was incredibly handsome, and while that in itself wasn’t a surprise, my reaction to him really was. Inside I was telling myself to calm down and that this wasn’t the rational response to have when meeting someone you haven’t seen in several years. And then there was the other thing…the thing I didn’t want to think about but really needed to confront before I thought about tackling this guy and begging him to take me right there in the stable.

I was reacting this way because I needed this. It had been a year since I’d walked in on my fiancé Dalton sleeping with my best friend, Meg, and called it all off. The big society wedding, the marriage that was going to make the kind of connections my father wanted me to have. I let it all go in that moment when I discovered the worst betrayal of my life.

And I hadn’t had sex since. It had been a year since I had been with anyone. I knew because the date that was supposed to be our anniversary was coming up. And the day that I found Dalton with Meg, he had been with me earlier in the day. That morning before he left for work we had made love and talked about our plans for dinner that night, but I had come home to pick up something I had forgotten and walked in on the two of them together. It had ruined everything, and I tried not to think about it any more often than I had to.

But here I was, in front of Pete Killarny, thinking about how badly I wanted to know what he looked like naked.

“Hi Pete…it’s been a long time.” I laughed, but it was clear he had no clue who I was. “It’s Sara…Sara Waters.”

 

Continue reading