Chapter Six
Closing the bathroom door behind him, Rafa groaned to himself. He’d somehow actually forgotten just how painful it was to smile and nod and be the perfect presidential son. The Australian prime minister was very welcoming, her family was super nice—and Rafa couldn’t wait to get out of there.
They’d arrived mid-afternoon for cocktails and barbecued shrimp in the garden, which Ramon thought was hilarious for some reason. He’d kept saying, “Throw some more shrimp on the barbie!” in a terrible Australian accent until Camila had shot him a death glare while their hosts weren’t looking.
Rafa had just ducked into the bathroom, but not before making the hosts laugh at his choice of word. He still forgot to call it a toilet like the straightforward Aussies did, and he’d joked that he wasn’t actually having a shower or a soak.
Ha-ha-ha, smiles, smiles.
It was exhausting. He glanced in the mirror over the white porcelain sink. He hadn’t worn his pale blue dress shirt in ages, or the gray slacks. At least his mother hadn’t forced him into a tie. He’d done the dance for so many years because he’d had to, and he wished he could escape home and that Shane would be there.
Soon.
He pulled out his phone and tapped the screen, trying a quick call through WhatsApp. Shane had texted that he was at the airport in LA, so maybe Rafa could catch him at the—
Shane answered, “Hey, baby.”
“Hey! Are you boarding soon? I miss you so much.” It was stupid—Shane had only been gone a few days. Still. “The bed is too big without you.” He laughed. “I sound so lame.”
There was lots of noise in the background, the murmur of people and boarding calls. “No, you don’t. I miss you too. They just started boarding. Fourteen more hours, and I’ll be home before you know it. First thing in the morning. Everything’s been okay at the house?”
Rafa rolled his eyes. “Yes. No one’s broken in yet.”
“Let’s not tempt fate. What are you up to right now?”
“We’re at Kirribilli House. The prime minister lives here when she’s in Sydney. It’s surprisingly small, but it’s historic or whatever. Amazing views of the harbor. The Opera House is so close.”
“Sounds great.”
“I guess.” He scoffed at himself. “Not to be an ungrateful dick. I know I’m lucky to go the places I’ve been able to go all these years. I just haven’t missed needing to be on. You know?”
“Yep. What’s the PM like?”
“Nicole’s really nice. Down to earth and all that.”
“And how’s it going with your parents?”
“So far, so good. They were pretty jet-lagged. Matty really crashed. But they all seem better today.” He could hear voices in the house beyond. “I’d better get back out there. I think we’re going in for dinner. Don’t want them to think I’m taking a dump or anything.”
Shane laughed. “Heaven forbid. They’re calling my section anyway. See you in the morning. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
After a quick piss, Rafa rejoined the others as they made their way toward the dining room. Matthew sidled up beside him. “What are you smiling about?” He glanced around and lowered his voice. “Phone sex in the john with Shane?”
Cheeks going hot, Rafa tried not to laugh too much. “No. But we talked. He’s boarding in LA.”
“Cool.” Matthew nudged him with his good arm. “I really am happy for you. He seems like a good dude. No matter what Mom and Dad think.”
Rafa’s happy bubble popped as he followed into the dining room, the prime minister’s thirteen-year-old daughter, Laura, instructing him to sit beside her. He nodded and smiled as she talked about some painting on the wall in the small, formal room.
Meanwhile, the worry nagged. He knew his parents weren’t thrilled about his relationship with Shane, but couldn’t they see how happy he was?
He did his part during dinner, making the right noises at the right times as Laura told him about her school trip to China. The food was delicious—perfectly seared loins of Wagyu beef tenderloin, crispy roast potatoes and vegetables, and on top of the meat, a lobster-ish crustacean known as a Moreton Bay bug. It melted in his mouth in a rush of garlicy butter.
“Laura, let Rafa get a word in edgewise,” her father admonished. “You’re giving him a real ear-bashing.”
Poor Laura’s pale, freckled face went puce. She had reddish hair like her mother, although the Aussies called redheads “blueys” for some reason Rafa had yet to figure out.
Rafa said, “No, no! I’m enjoying hearing all about it. I’ve never been to China.” To Laura, he added, “So did you climb up the Great Wall? Is it a lot of steps in some places?”
She gave him a little smile, but shot her father a nervous glance. Rafa was totally blanking on the guy’s name and had no idea why he was being a dick to his daughter.
Ugh, maybe it was because Rafa hadn’t been paying close enough attention and it had shown. Pushing away all his worries, he concentrated fully on Laura and encouraged her to keep talking.
Across the table, Matthew rather glumly pushed his food around, not saying much as their parents and Nicole kept up a steady stream of conversation, Laura’s pimply-faced older brothers seemingly content to mow down their meals and not say a thing.
When their conversations lulled, Nicole said, “I hear you’re all climbing the bridge tomorrow! Should be perfect weather for it. Clear as a bell.”
“Yes,” Camila answered. “It should be lovely. We’re told it’s the thing to do now that we’re tourists like anyone else.”
Rafa kept his eyes on his plate, because he could just imagine the expression Matthew was making, and he didn’t want to burst out laughing.
Sure, because ordinary folks travel with Secret Service agents and a team of assistants. And have dinner with the prime minister.
Ramon said, “I’m told your people have been a wonderful help in coordinating everything, Nicole. Thank you.”
“Our pleasure.” She sipped a glass of red wine and tucked a copper curl behind her ear. She was a pretty woman in her forties who was known for a boisterous laugh but tough-as-nails attitude in parliament. “Rafa, how are you enjoying yourself? You’re up in Curl Curl?”
“Yes. I absolutely love it.”
One of Laura’s brothers piped up. “The beaches are sick up there. How’s the surf been?”
Rafa grinned. “Incredible. Too big for me sometimes. It’s a little intimidating. Shane says—” He broke off, suddenly self-conscious. Now he certainly had everyone’s attention, and a current of tension snaked through the room. He forced a smile. “He says I need to trust myself more. Stop over-thinking it.”
Ramon’s chuckle was awkward. “Well, we don’t want you doing anything dangerous.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. “Yeah, of course not, Dad.” Rafa took a sip of his wine, the oak-cherry flavor more acidic than it was before. “Shane would never want me to do anything dangerous either.”
“Why didn’t he come today?” Laura asked. “He seems really cool.” Her parents shot her daggers, but she either didn’t notice or ignored them.
“Oh, he had to go back to the States for a…thing.” Bringing up that time he got kidnapped didn’t seem like a good idea in front of the PM’s kids.
Nicole said, “So, Matthew…” Then she seemed at a loss.
Matthew gave her a too-cheery smile. “Do you want to discuss my busted shoulder and how my swimming career might be over?”
“Why don’t we talk about this exquisite meal,” Camila said. “This Wagyu is delectable. It’s raised here in Australia?”
As conversation turned to the cattle industry, Laura whispered, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make things weird.”
He ducked his head closer to her. “You didn’t. Don’t worry about it.”
“I think your boyfriend’s really hot, even if he’s old.” Her cheeks flushed again.
Rafa laughed softly. “Thanks. So do I.”
“Was it very scary? When those bad people took you?”
“It was. But Shane saved me.”
She giggled delightedly. “He’s your knight in shining armor. It’s so romantic.”
He thought of the way Shane had held him safe in his strong arms and kissed him in the rain, their lips pressed together desperately. The sweet relief that the bullet had only grazed Shane’s skull, and he was still whole and alive. Rafa smiled. “Yeah. I guess it is.”
It didn’t matter what anyone thought. He and Shane were together, and nothing would tear them apart.
The lights of Sydney glittered, the illuminated Opera House rising up like a giant seashell. From the hotel penthouse, the view was truly spectacular. Standing at the huge window, Rafa watched a ferry’s progress across the dark harbor. It was almost midnight, so he’d reluctantly agreed to stay over at the suite.
He shouldn’t begrudge his parents wanting to spend time with him. It would possibly be a year before he saw them again. So he’d make them happy and stay over one night, even if he’d rather sleep in his own bed. His and Shane’s, that was. He smiled to himself, his lips curving in the faint reflection in the glass.
“Rafa, darling, would you like a drink?” Sitting on a buttery leather love seat, Camila held the stem of a delicate sherry glass. Beside her, Ramon sipped brandy. Sprawled in an armchair tapping his phone, Matthew gulped from a bottle of beer, which Camila frowned at.
“I’m good. Thanks. Shane’s flight arrives first thing tomorrow, so I’ll be up early. He’s just going to grab a cab home, so I’ll do the same.”
“Back so soon?” Ramon asked. “He’ll be exhausted.”
The elephant in the room stomped and swung its trunk side to side. Rafa tried to ignore it, forcing a laugh. “Yeah, he won’t know which way is up. It sucks he had to go back in person.”
“Well, Mr. Kendrick had to do his duty,” Camila said dismissively. Too dismissively.
Rafa’s spidey senses tingled. “What do you think, Dad?”
“Hmm?” Ramon loosened his tie and looked anywhere but at Rafa. “The inquest is very important, of course.”
As his father kept his gaze on his brandy snifter, Rafa tensed. Ramon always looked at people when he spoke to them. It was a habit he’d developed over the years as a politician. He made eye contact and listened as if that person was the most important in the world. And right now he couldn’t even glance up.
Quietly, Rafa asked, “Did you have something to do with this?”
Camila tilted her head. “Hmm? With what, dear?” She picked up a file folder from the glass coffee table and flipped through it.
He kept his voice calm, or tried to. “With Shane having to go back to DC for the inquest. They’d said it was no problem to testify remotely. Then suddenly he had to be there in person.”
His parents shared a glance, and fucking fuck, Rafa knew that look. He exhaled sharply, a burst of disbelief. “Are you shitting me?”
Camila snapped, “Language, Rafael.”
Matthew glanced up from his phone. “Wow. You guys suck. You made the dude fly halfway around the world so you don’t have to deal with him?”
“The inquest is very important,” Ramon said. “He needed to be there to properly answer for his actions.”
Rafa had started pacing, and he stopped in his tracks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just what I said.”
“Shane didn’t do anything wrong.” At his parents’ raised eyebrows, Rafa insisted, “He didn’t! I’m not talking about me and him. That’s… Fine. That’s—whatever. I’m talking about the kidnapping. About Alan. Shane had no idea. He saved my life. He almost died! If that bullet had hit his head a millimeter to the right, he would be dead. Dead! He had nothing to do with it.”
“Alan Pearce was also shot,” Camila reminded him.
“Yes, but you know he confessed to it all! He was trying to help his dying son. He said Shane had no idea.” Rafa paced a few steps by the window, his bare feet digging into the plush carpet. “Shane would never hurt me. He had no part in it. He saved me. You seriously think he was in on it?”
Ramon pressed his lips together. “All right, no. We believe he’s innocent of that.” He put down his brandy snifter with a loud clink and stood. “But let’s talk about the rest of it. This ‘whatever’ as you call it. You say nothing happened until after you went to meet him in California. Is that the truth?”
His parents stared at him. Matthew had abandoned his phone. The weight of their gazes burned on Rafa’s skin, and he shifted from foot to foot, throat dry. “Yes. Mostly. We didn’t…”
Camila gripped the leather arm of the love seat. “I knew it. You lied to us.”
“Fine, I omitted a few details. Look, I was the one who instigated it, and nothing really happened until I went to find him in California. Just a few kisses and stuff.”
“Stuff,” Camila repeated sharply.
Matthew laughed. “Shit, bro. It really is the quiet ones. That’s awesome.”
Their father shot Matthew a glare. “It is most certainly not awesome. We trusted that man. He was supposed to protect you, not seduce you!”
“He didn’t ‘seduce’ me! I wanted everything.”
Ramon gritted his teeth. “That’s what men like that want you to think. Don’t be naive.”
“I’m not. Besides, you said you accepted us.”
Camila came to stand beside Ramon, her sherry abandoned. She’d taken off her high heels, and her flowing summer dress was wrinkled. “We said we clearly had no choice in the matter. What could we do? If we tried to make you see sense, you’d just push us away. So we decided it was better to let you come down here and realize for yourself that this relationship is not right for you.”
“It is right!”
Ramon shook his head. “You just admitted that you and Kendrick were carrying on while he was protecting you. You were innocent, and he took advantage of that.”
“He didn’t!”
“Did he go into your room at the White House?” Camila asked.
“No.” That was a hundred percent true.
She narrowed her gaze. “How were you alone with him? I know Alan Pearce took time off to tend to his unfortunate son, but that doesn’t explain how you and your Secret Service agent spent enough time alone together for this—” she waved her hand, “thing to develop.”
Rafa’s mind whirled. Was he betraying Shane if he told them any of the truth? But he wanted to show them Shane didn’t seduce him. “I asked him to come up to the Diet Kitchen sometimes to taste the food I made.” His mother couldn’t hide her grimace, and a fresh burst of anger bubbled up in him like lava. “I bet you still hate that I want to be a chef. Admit it!”
She appeared affronted. “Haven’t I been supportive? I’ve asked you about your recipes, about what new dishes you’re trying. I’ve offered to help get you into the finest culinary schools in the world.”
Rafa scoffed. “That’s only so you can get me back in the States and break up me and Shane.”
“Sounds about right,” Matthew said, still sprawled in his armchair. He drained his bottle of beer.
“We won’t deny we want you to come home.” Ramon squeezed Camila’s hand. “But we fully support you in this career path. We do. Your mother has really made an effort, Rafa. I’m disappointed you don’t see that.”
Guilt washed through him. “I know you’re trying. But I guess it doesn’t quite feel real because you don’t want me living here.”
Ramon said, “We don’t want you living here with Shane Kendrick. There’s a difference.”
Camila added, “We didn’t fight you on this before because… Well, because we assumed you’d come down here, the novelty would wear off, and Mr. Kendrick would realize…”
Blinking, Rafa swallowed hard, his throat thick. “What? That he’d made a mistake? That I wasn’t worth it? Because I’m just a, a novelty?”
“It’s not about your worth, Rafa. Of course you are worthy.” Ramon ran a hand over his face. “That’s our point—that you deserve so much more than this! We understand that you and he bonded. You shared a traumatic experience. But you have nothing else in common. He’s almost twice your age! How could this relationship possibly last? It’s best to end it now as you start the next chapter of your life. Think of all the young men you’ll meet at school. You said you want to get a job at a restaurant. Again, you’ll meet new, exciting people. People you share interests with.”
“Why do you think Shane and I don’t share interests? We both love surfing. He’s teaching me, and I’ve gotten pretty good. That was a dream of mine for years. And he hadn’t surfed in a long time until he met me and we started talking about it. His parents died, and he gave up surfing and threw himself into his work. But I helped him deal with stuff and surf again. And he encouraged me with cooking. Ash was in Paris and I didn’t have anyone to talk to—”
“You were lonely, darling.” Camila stepped toward him, hands outstretched. “We should have seen that. It was our fault.”
“No. You’re not…” He ran a palm over his head, spiking up his gelled hair and missing his curls with a stab of shame. Why did he cut his hair? Why did he care what they thought?
He tried to focus. “It’s not about blame. Yes, I was lonely. We all could have reached out more or done things differently. Why do we have to blame someone?”
Ramon nodded. “That’s very true.”
“Can’t we move forward and not blame you or me or Shane? Can’t I just be happy? And you guys be happy for me?”
Camila sighed. “Your happiness is our greatest concern. Yours, and Matthew’s, and Adriana’s, and Christian’s. It’s very difficult to have you living on the other side of the world with a man we cannot trust.”
“What do you think Shane’s endgame is?” Matthew asked. “What’s in it for him to give up his career and move down here to be with Raf, if he doesn’t love him? And don’t say he’s using Rafa for sex, because that dude could have dozens of volunteers lined up in a heartbeat.”
Heat flushed Rafa’s face to the tips of his ears, and for a moment, he had to stare at his bare feet on the taupe carpet. Then he forced his head up and straightened his shoulders, waiting for his parents to answer. They scowled at Matthew.
Camila hissed, “There’s no need to be crude.”
“Well?” Rafa asked. “What do you think Shane’s nefarious plan is?”
Ramon answered, “We don’t know. We just… He’s so much older than you, and he was in a position of authority. It makes us very uncomfortable.”
“I get it. I do. We didn’t plan on falling in love, okay?” Rafa fidgeted, his fingers clenching and unclenching. “But it happened. Yes, we broke the rules, and Shane felt like shit about that. He transferred, and we didn’t talk or email or text even once. It was done. He ended up quitting to be with me. Because he loves me. Because I’m more important to him than his career.”
“Seriously, you guys.” Still slumped in the armchair, Matthew rolled his eyes. “Deal with it. Clearly they love each other. Raf’s happy. Let it go.”
Camila’s tone was steely. “It’s not as easy as that. Especially when you and Mr. Kendrick lied to us, Rafa. What else have you lied about?”
“Nothing! And you guys are ones to talk about lies. You pulled strings to get the Secret Service to make him go back instead of just dealing with it head on. Dealing with us.”
Ramon approached Rafa and took his shoulders. “We simply wanted the opportunity to speak with you alone. To make sure you truly are happy. That you’re not being…influenced.”
“Oh my God, Shane’s not, like, holding me prisoner.”
“Of course not.” Ramon gentled his voice. “But when you’re young and in love, you can be taken advantage of. Controlled. Influenced, like I said. You’re so far away from us living down here.”
“Pretty sure that was the point,” Matthew muttered.
Camila smoothed her skirt rhythmically. “We just think you should date boys your own age. You’re too young to be settling on one person.”
“You’d rather I was sleeping around instead of being in a committed relationship?”
She clenched her jaw. “Don’t put words in our mouth.”
“Look, this is what it comes down to: I’m happy here. I’m staying here. With Shane. So can we just be done with this intervention or whatever it is? Because it’s not going to work. And Shane’s going to be back tomorrow. He could have stayed in DC and skipped out on awkward dinners with you guys, but he wants to make this work. He’s my partner. He’s not going anywhere, no matter what you try.”
After a few heartbeats, Ramon nodded. “All right.” He glanced at Camila. “Yes?”
She strode over to the sideboard and poured a glass of water. “Rafa, we’re only concerned for your welfare.” She looked down at the glass in her hand, her voice suddenly thick. “I hope you know we love you.”
The rest of Rafa’s anger drained away, leaving him with lingering guilt and aching affection. “I know, Mom. I love you guys too.”
Ramon pulled him into a hug and pressed a kiss to his head while Camila drank her water, breathing hard. When she put down the glass, her smile was back in place. “Tell Mr.—tell him we’ll reimburse him for the flight and hotel if it’s not paid for. We’ll cover all his expenses.”
“No, you don’t need to.” No way Shane would take their money. “Anyway, he crashed at his friend Darnell’s place, and the Service paid for the flight.”
Camila nodded. “The police detective, his old lover? Well, I’m sure it was nice for them to catch up.”
Rafa’s knees trembled, nausea rising along with a returning bolt of anger. He was speechless as his heart thumped. Finally, he got out, “What? Darnell and Shane are only friends.”
“Mom, you just said you’d cut the crap.” Matthew shook his head. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”
Blinking, she opened and closed her mouth, then held out her hands at her sides. “What did I say?”
Rafa sputtered. “You implied Shane was hooking up with Darnell! Darnell’s not his ex—they’re only friends! God, Mom. Seriously, cut it out. Shane’s not cheating on me.”
Mouth open and the picture of innocence, Camila looked to Ramon, who said, “Darnell Jackson? Rafa… They did have a sexual relationship in the past. Kendrick didn’t tell you?”
Humiliation burned through him like wildfire. Here he was insisting he and Shane were perfect together, and somehow his parents knew this vital piece of information and he didn’t. Is it really true? “How… How do you know this?”
“We had him investigated,” Ramon said, as if it was nothing. “You think we’d let you move to the other side of the world with this man without searching for skeletons in his closet?”
“Darling, I assumed you knew.” Camila stepped closer, looking him in the eye steadily, beseeching. “I wasn’t trying to stir anything up. Truly.”
Rafa blew out a shaky breath. For her faults, his mother was usually honest, but his head spun and he didn’t know which way was up. Shane and Darnell were lovers? Why didn’t Shane tell me? Bile rose in his throat, and he choked it down.
Ramon said, “From what I recall of the report, it was nothing serious. Intermittent over the years. I’m sure there’s nothing between them now. Not if Shane Kendrick is as trustworthy as you say he is.”
“He is!” Rafa was shouting. Be calm. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He lowered his voice. “Shane would never do that to me.” Oh fuck, he had to get away. His family’s eyes bored into him like drills, and God, they looked so horribly sympathetic now. Stop being a lame little loser.
“Yes, if he’s the upstanding man you tell us he is, then I’m sure he wouldn’t lie to you,” Camila said.
“He is!” Rafa insisted again, squirming under their scrutiny.
“Then there’s no problem. I’m sorry to upset you.” Her face pinched. “Honestly.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’m just going to…” Rafa jerked his thumb toward the bathroom, managing to walk and not run down the corridor of the suite to shut himself inside.
He thought of the glimpses he’d had of Darnell in the odd photo—tall and bulging with muscles, every inch a man. Despite how he protested to his parents that he was a man now, Rafa felt so much like a dumb little kid.
Hot with shame, he splashed cold water on his red cheeks. Looking in the mirror, he tried to tamp down his stupid hair, which stuck up in places and wanted to curl no matter how much he tried plastering it to his skull.
“Ch-ch-ch-Chia!”
He was a gawky, pimply teenager again, his new friends at school pissing themselves laughing, passing around the internet meme. His throat closed, eyes burning, and his voice broke as he whispered at his reflection.
“Nut up. You’re pathetic. You’re supposed to be a fucking grown-up.”
There was a low knock at the door, and Rafa scrubbed his face with a towel before opening it to Matthew, who squeezed Rafa’s arm. “Dude, it doesn’t mean he’s fucking that guy now. I’m sure he’s not. Sounds like they were just friends with benefits. It doesn’t mean anything. That’s probably why he didn’t tell you, because it was just sex back in the day. Lots of people do stuff like that.”
“I guess,” Rafa scraped out, his voice hoarse.
“Look, Shane loves you, right?”
Shane did love him. Rafa didn’t doubt that. But what if it wasn’t enough? What if he wasn’t enough? Shane had been with real men. Would he get bored of Rafa?”
“Don’t let Mom and Dad make you crazy. You still want to stay here tonight, or should I get you an Uber or something?”
“Uber. I got it.” He pulled out his phone and opened the app, tapping for a ride home.
“For what it’s worth, I think she means it—that she thought you knew about this guy.” Matthew glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice. “But if they think it’s for your own good, that doesn’t mean they won’t use it to drive a wedge between you and Shane. Don’t let them. Stay strong.”
Nodding, his throat too thick to speak, Rafa vowed to try his best.