EPILOGUE
A few years later…
“The lust for acceptance, that stealthy being that enters the house as a guest, and then becomes a host, and then a master. It’s an ever-present force that can’t be denied. And I really don’t give a shit anymore.”
~Savannah Bushard
It’s been three years, four months, and five days since we exited Afghanistan. Left behind the horrors of the days we were held and tortured.
Styx has never left my side the entire time. Stuck like glue. Pulling me along, never letting me go. Through thick and thin, the good, the bad, and the ugly, he’s been my constant. He’s my rock, solid and true. Not sure why, but he’s with me. I suppose it’s because we’re kindred spirits. I’m thankful for his persistence.
I never thought I’d feel this way again or ever, really. I realize now the menial jaunt with the ex is nothing compared to the relationship I’ve built with Pete “Styx” Fuller. He completes me.
Once Jocelyn assisted in the healing from my PTSD, the future seemed much brighter. I accepted a position at the base closest to our home. Charge nurse of the pediatrics unit. The work I’ve been part of there has changed me in a way my stint overseas never could.
Grayson has been amazing for Styx. Who would have ever thought? Not me. As Styx communicated time and again, he is one of his best friends. Little by little, I took a shine to him.
He’s showed up around the property on more than several occasions to help Pete, along with Johnny. It means so much that they care the way they do.
Another plus is that the property Styx bought us just happens to butt up to Grayson’s family property. He and Ella are building a home close to ours.
The rooms are ready, and the playground is placed carefully outside. Styx took a whole day, with the help of Johnny and Grayson, crafting the perfect place on our land for children to play. A playground fit for kings and queens between the two properties. I still can’t believe the fantastic jungle gym they created between the three of them. A place all the children will enjoy.
Today is a day of celebration. Well, sort of. The fragrant, rich smell of homemade blueberry muffins drifts through the kitchen. My mother’s homemade recipe. A significant reminder this is my home.
We’ve been waiting for months to hear from this particular agency. They’ve gone back and forth, to and fro. It’s been a never-ending roller coaster ride. The anxiety and scrambling emotions are coming to an end.
There is an expectant mother; her due date was yesterday. The one stipulation is she’s having twins and doesn’t want them split up. We haven’t been privy to any other information. Not that it matters to us. We just want a healthy baby or two. For Styx and me, we’re ready to begin our family.
Grayson and Ella are here at our newly finished home, along with their firstborn, my godson, Taylor. I’m extremely edgy today, the anxiety elevating the butterflies in my insides. The moment of truth. The icing on the cake.
Is it possible to have everything you want out of life? Is it fair for one person to be so happy? Do I deserve it?
In a thousand years, I never believed to be this excited. Barren yet content. Friends and family have replaced what I lost long ago.
The Blackwood family and Trident Security have opened their arms and accepted us as family. Not that my mother and father, the only surviving Bushards in our lineage, aren’t awesome, but to be loved by people who don’t even really know me is amazing.
The smile on my face has frozen into place. I can’t get rid of it and frankly, I don’t ever want to. I am perfectly perfect.
The sun is beginning to set in the Florida sky. Glancing out the large bay window, I see Grayson playing with his son off in the distance on the newly-built playground.
“What’s going on in that beautiful mind, blondie?”
“Hey, stud. Just taking in the view.”
“Grayson’s a great father. Maybe someday…” Styx pauses, and I realize the pain he’s feeling.
Even though he’s never let on that I’m anything but exactly what he needs, he wants to be a father. And it doesn’t matter how it happens.
“You’re gonna be a fantastic father someday, sugar.”
“Yeah? And you’ll be a great mother, blondie.”
“We okay?” I ask.
“I’m perfect, baby. You’ve given me so much more than I ever thought a man like me could have. Thank you,” he says and kisses the top of my head as he wraps his strong arms around my waist.
In the distance, I hear a ringing. It’s incessant badgering adds to the level of apprehension and won’t stop.
“Vanna? You gonna answer that?” a tired, pregnant Ella asks.
I look to Styx and his hard-set jaw.
“I can’t, sugar. What if it’s…I just can’t. I’m too nervous.”
“I’ve got this, Savannah. Come on, woman.”
He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the ringing phone. Answering the call and placing it on speaker, he greets, “Hello.”
“Mr. Fuller. This is Yolanda Gains, from the agency. I’m calling about the twins,” she finishes.
“Yes, Miss Gains. How are you? We were wondering if we’d hear from you.”
“I understand. There’s been a new development and many other things happening in this one case. But Mr. Fuller, are you still wanting to adopt twins?”
My whole world spins, and I’m unsure how I stay on my feet until I feel a strong arm wrap around my body. Styx is holding me up with one of his massive biceps. My rock, my solid.
“Yes, ma’am. We do. We’ve been waiting so long.”
“Well, I want to make that happen for you today. The mother has just gone into labor. Can you be at the hospital within, say, the next few hours?” Miss Gains asks.
“Yes, of course. We’ll be there,” I say, emotions taking over my senses.
I answer the caseworker without any thought. I’m anxious for the outcome.
“Hahaha. Yes, ma’am. Of course, you can. I’ll make sure to have all the necessary paperwork. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Fuller. You’re about to be parents.”
When we hang up the phone, an expectant Ella is watching, her blue eyes full of love and joy. I glance over to Styx, and the tears in his emerald eyes produce a lump in my throat from the pleasure they cause, incomparable to any other moment in my life.
Today, we will become parents. Today, I will finally be a mom. Everything that’s happened to me in the past fades away further into the background. Through the trauma and the days I felt I couldn’t go on, all of it is nonessential.
My life is now complete.
My life is perfect.
I couldn’t ask for more, and I’m excited about the possibilities of what the future holds for me and my family.
“Everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.”
~Savannah Bushard