FIVE
Beks ate her food, like Lihvan requested, but she couldn’t help her gaze straying to him the majority of the meal. He was still pressed against the wall of the room, like he was afraid she was contagious. She would have been offended had she not spied a boner the size of her goddamn arm in his tight pants. Or at least what she thought was an erection…perhaps alien physiology was a little different down there.
With her heart fluttering in her throat, she found it hard to concentrate on her food when her eyes kept dropping to Lihvan’s impressive size.
What the hell is wrong with me? she couldn’t help but question, pressing a warm hand to her cheek. She was lusting after an alien, who had just saved her from the equivalent of sexual slavery to another alien. She shouldn’t be feeling anything right now. And yet, she couldn’t take her eyes off him.
There was something about Lihvan that called to her. Yes, he was intense and a little broody and he didn’t looked pleased to be in the same room as her even though she thought he might be attracted to her. He didn’t make sense. He was a puzzle that a part of Beks was just dying to figure out, even though she knew she should stay far, far away.
She’d never done anything the easy way.
Case in point, when she asked him, “Won’t you come sit down? The bed is plenty big for you.”
A hard swallow from Lihvan. His eyes flickered to hers and held. Beks counted the seconds with bated breath, seared by that impossibly pretty gaze.
“I will stay here,” he finally said, in a gruff tone.
She reminded herself her flirting was harmless, just like when she’d brushed his arm in the command center. She’d just wanted to see him loose a little bit of his edge and see how he’d react. In some ways, the towering alien reminded her of a hardcore, dedicated military man, all rigid rules and harsh lines. Perhaps the risk taker in her just wanted to see those lines blur a bit. She wanted to see who he was behind those lines when he had nothing left to protect him.
Like the plethora of coding languages she’d learned in college, little strings of characters and letters and numbers that dictated how programs worked and ran, she wanted to know what he was made of, what made him tick.
She tried another tactic, curious how he’d respond. “Aren’t you going to shower?” she asked, eyeing the faint streaks of blood on his chest, evidence that he’d killed her captors. He hadn’t washed yet.
Lihvan looked down with a frown, as if he hadn’t even realized the blood was there. “Do you wish for me to bathe?” he asked.
Meaning to tease, she murmured, “Only if I can watch.”
A sharp inhale came from his direction and he went very still. Did the air suddenly seem thicker? she wondered, her brows lowering, her gaze lowering. Yep, that thing in his pants was definitely a cock because she could see it throbbing, like a little heartbeat.
A not-so-little heartbeat, she corrected, lips parting, a full-on, full-body flush heating her from head-to-toe. Again, she pressed her hand to her cheek, wondering why she was like this around him. It was like he’d cranked her ‘desire/lust’ knob all the way up and he was the only one with the controls. She’d never felt this horny around a man in her entire life.
His nostrils flared and Beks saw his hand tightening around the plate. He squeezed it so hard that Beks gasped when it split right in two, food and metal clattering to the floor.
Lihvan ignored it. In fact, he didn’t even seem to notice. His body was tight, tense, muscles contracted and ready to spring. And he was doing that strange purring sound again.
“Lihvan?” she asked quietly, feeling her nipples pebble beneath his shirt. The room smelled of him, that same minty musk that she’d inhaled off the shirt, except it seemed concentrated. It was making Beks head swim, making it hard for her to think about anything but the alien in front of her.
“This is not a game, female,” he suddenly said, voice deep and thick. “Your scent tells me you wish to mate and that is not to be taken lightly. Not with a male like me.”
Beks shook her head, trying to clear the sudden haze. Her scent? He could smell how turned on she was?
“A male like you?” she questioned. Her voice was throaty, like she’d just smoked a pack of cigarettes.
He never turned his gaze away from her. He pinned her in place, like a predator stalking his prey. “If we mate, I will never let you go. That is the kind of male I am.”
I want that, was her first immediate thought, which disturbed her as much as it thrilled her. What would it be like to be claimed by someone like him? His power, his presence, his gaze made her tingle with awareness and she imagined herself lying back on the bed, slipping off his shirt, and spreading her legs for him. What would he do? Would he take what she freely offered? Would he tug her hips to the edge of the bed and thrust inside of her? Would he be rough or gentle? Would she cum around his cock as he mated her?
That word…mate…it was primitive, raw, and sexy as hell. The air in the room was even thicker and Lihvan’s purring growls were growing louder and louder with each passing moment.
What’s happening to me? she wondered, lips parted, skin flushed. This wasn’t normal, was it?
Maybe she was playing with fire, but Beks had always liked to push boundaries. She liked to push other people, see how they would react.
She told herself that was why she slowly shimmied up his shirt until it was bunched around her hips. She told herself that was why she slowly spread her thighs so he would have a teasing glimpse of her naked pussy.
Lihvan seemed to stop breathing for a second and Beks almost moaned at the expression on his face, one of complete and utter focus as his gaze zeroed in on the throbbing juncture of her thighs.
“We don’t have to have sex to have some fun together,” she murmured softly, brushing a gentle finger over her engorged clit. She gasped, her head falling back, stunned because she thought she might cum just from that one little touch. “I—I feel…” she trailed off in another moan.
Lihvan didn’t move. He was completely still, watching her, as if afraid if he moved an inch, she’d stop. What he didn’t know was that Beks was already too far gone to stop. So, it didn’t surprise her when another gentle swipe of her fingers—just one little touch—set her off into a clenching, spiraling orgasm that made her gasp and moan like the wanton she was.
Afterwards, she met Lihvan’s eyes, her ragged breath filling the room. She was too shocked by her reaction to him to be embarrassed. And the look he was giving her? It looked like he wanted to spring across the room and devour her. It didn’t look like he’d minded her impromptu masturbation session. Not at all.
The purring was growing deafening…and were his horns straightened? Beks eyed them, trepidation making an appearance. Had she gone too far this time? After all, he was an alien…a being with different customs, different interpretations. Even though she felt secure with him, she realized she probably shouldn’t have done that, no matter what she felt when she was near him.
“I…” she trailed off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
Except she had meant to do it. Now, she was embarrassed. Kate had always called her impulsive, which might just be another word for reckless. She always acted before thinking, unlike her level-headed best friend that analyzed everything beforehand.
Without saying one word, Lihvan pushed off his spot from the wall and left the room as if it was on fire. Beks stared at the door, which had swooshed closed behind him, and then she let out a shuddering sigh. Slowly, she pushed off the bed on shaking legs, smoothing the shirt back down her thighs, trying not to let shame fill her up and boil over.
She’d always loved sex, but she loved the intimacy of it more, of feeling the weight of a man, of smelling him on her skin, tasting him on her tongue. She’d never been ashamed of it and had always had a healthy sex life. But she didn’t feel so good about what had just happened. She was in way over her head.
Crouching down, she picked up the broken plate that Lihvan had crushed and picked up what remained of the food. She didn’t know where to discard it, so she neatly piled it by the door before her eyes returned to where Lihvan had been standing.
Beks stepped closer, peering harder.
There was a dent in the wall.
Her eyebrows rose as she inspected it. It was roughly the size of the towering, scarred alien that had just fled the room. It took Beks a moment to realize that he’d actually dented the steel wall with his body, from the force of keeping away from her. And right where his hands had been pressed? There were claw marks, as if he’d tried to gouge his nails into it.
Beks ran a shaking hand through her hair, eyeing the scratches.
What in the world had she done this time?
* * *
Lihvan headed straight for the training pits.
His cock was so hard that he feared it might burst the woven seams of his leg coverings, but that was the least of his worries. He needed a distraction. And fighting was exactly what he needed to work out his frustration and aggression.
On the way, he alerted Vikan that he needed a sparring partner. Most of the warriors on the ship were good fighters, but Lihvan wanted to fight against the best on the ship…well, second only to himself.
The training deck was situated on the second level of the vessel. There were some warriors already engaged, utilizing the sunken pits made primarily of hard metal and blood stains. Lihvan chose a secluded pit at the back of the training deck and jumped down, landing in a crouch. Briefly, he looked down at his bare chest, remembering the female’s remark about whether he would bathe. He’d forgotten that he still wore the blood of the Krevorags and he wondered whether that had frightened her or not.
A fresh surge of arousal made him growl. No, she hadn’t been frightened. She’d been…wanting. As he warmed up his muscles, Lihvan tried not to breathe through his nostrils, since he could still smell that sweet, musky scent that was solely her. It made his Instinct prowl inside him, aching to burst free, aching to claim its mate.
He tried not to remember her teasings, tried not to remember the sight of her pink, aroused flesh between her thighs, tried not to remember her breathy moans as she touched herself.
His palms stung from where he’d pressed his claws into his flesh, but he relished the pain, hoping that it would distract him from his arousal.
She had been…magnificent. His female was a sensual creature, unafraid to pursue her pleasure. He’d wanted nothing more than to go to her when she’d been lying across his sleeping platform. He’d wanted nothing more than to part her thighs and spear her with his cock where she ached for him.
Yet he hadn’t. Partly because if he claimed her as his, she would be bound to him forever. If she left, if she went back to Earth, Lihvan knew that he would hunt her mercilessly and bring her back to him. She would never be free of him.
The other reason why he hadn’t gone to her…well, that reason shamed him even more.
Vikan’s voice cut through his thoughts. “You look as if you have been conquered.”
His friend stood at the edge of the pit, studying him from above. The low lighting prevented Lihvan from seeing his features, but he knew Vikan’s face would be pinched with knowing.
“Get down here,” Lihvan bit out.
Vikan studied him for a moment longer, which frustrated Lihvan enough to growl, before his friend jumped the fifteen feet down into the pit with ease. He landed with a solid thump and then straightened.
“I hope that cock is not for me,” Vikan said, voice neutral.
Lihvan glowered and without warning, lashed out with a swipe of his bloodied claws. Vikan dodged and the fight began.
It lasted a while, for which Lihvan was thankful. Fighting was what made sense to him. It was what he was good at, what centered him. He relished the measured breaths, when he should inhale, when he should exhale. He lived for the challenge of dissecting his opponent’s movements, to try and track where they would attack next. To a certain extent, he had learned to like the pain, to savor the scars and lashes and claw marks adorning his flesh because they made him a better warrior, a stronger one.
Near the end, when both warriors were beginning to slow, to defend instead of attack, they called the fight and sank down on the blood splattered ground, backs to the metal wall of their chosen cage.
Their breaths were ragged and Lihvan blinked away the blood that had dripped into his eye. His chest was a smattering of fresh cuts and sliced skin, but he knew they would heal quickly. Vikan didn’t fare any better. Lihvan had gouged him, perhaps a little too deeply, in his side, which would take longer to heal.
Once they recovered and caught their breaths, Vikan eyed him from across the pit. Some of the tension that had been released during the fight trickled back in as Lihvan interpreted that look.
“Just say it,” Lihvan said. “I am too tired to argue.”
“No good will come from this, brother,” Vikan warned. “The female must return to her own planet.”
Instead of directly addressing his concern, Lihvan asked, “Has your Instinct chosen a female for you?”
Earlier in the span, before Lihvan had returned to his quarters, Vikan had hinted that it had.
Vikan averted his gaze. “I am still loyal to Nitav. It does not matter if it had.”
Nitav had been Vikan’s Breeding partner, his chosen mate, even if she had not been his fated one. Lihvan shook his head and said quietly, “Nitav is dead, Vikan. She has journeyed into the blackworld where the Fates watch over her now.”
Vikan’s gaze was level. “My feelings have not followed her into the blackworld. They remain in me still.”
“You deny yourself a future if you keep yourself shrouded in the past, my friend,” Lihvan said slowly.
“There is no future with them, Lihvan,” Vikan said, voice hardening, his gaze like ice.
Lihvan met his stare. He’d been worrying more and more about his friend, who seemed to withdraw into himself more with every passing span.
“Remember that and you will save yourself much grief,” he added. With that, Vikan pushed up from the wall, his wound making his features stretch tight. “I am needed at the command center.”
Lihvan watched Vikan pull himself out of the pit and disappear at the top without another word. Lihvan leaned his head back, thinking over Vikan’s words, wanting to deny them. But he knew he couldn’t.
What Lihvan wanted more than anything, even his Ambassador status, even more than being one of the best warriors on Luxiria, was a mate. A family. Offspring. And not many knew that about him. When Vaxa’an had found his fated mate in a human female, he’d been overcome with a jealousy that surprised him. Ashamed even. He should’ve been happy for his friend because Vaxa’an deserved happiness. Yet, a small part of him was filled with envy.
And now…now when his Instinct had recognized something in Beks, with her soft hair and alluring smile and tantalizing scent, he was to be denied the chance to pursue anything with her, before he even knew her.
It is for the best, he told himself. But even thinking that filled him with dismay and the loss of what could have been.