Antonia
“Just…a little…more,” Antonia panted out as she lifted the heaviest box up the front stairwell of Mr. Amos’s residence. It was 6:50 in the morning, and she wanted to have everything moved into the house before 7, so time was ticking.
“I can help, Mommy,” Daniel said from behind her, tugging on the bottom of her shirt to get her attention.
Antonia leaned over after dropping the box down on the floor of the porch, gasping hard to try to get sufficient air in her lungs. It was time like these that she regretted being a smoker. “You okay, Mommy?” Daniel asked, grabbing her hand and squeezing hard like he was afraid she was about to slip away.
“I’m fine, darling. I’m okay,” she said, breathing deeply a few more times before turning to walk back down the steps towards the car. “Mommy has to get these boxes in, okay? So just sit still for a few minutes and let me do this.”
Over the next few minutes, she made quick work of the rest of their belongings. Their previous apartment had come fully furnished, so it really was just a few odds and ends, along with all of their clothes. She was just about to grab the biggest box again, preparing herself to carry it up the winding staircase in the entryway of Mr. Amos’s house so they could pick out a bedroom, when Mr. Amos appeared, tearing past them without even so much as a look.
“Uh, good morning!” she called after him. He paused, turning back to look at her.
“Oh, hey, um, here, catch,” he said, flinging his house keys towards her. Clearly he’d forgotten that she was coming at all. Antonia didn’t know whether to feel offended, or concerned that there was something wrong with the guy who’d hired her. “Food’s in the fridge, be home in, like, I don’t know, twelve hours. See you!” Mr. Amos took off into a run again, dashing to his driveway, where he hopped onto a motorcycle, then sped off down the road.
“Okay…” Antonia said out loud, sighing a little apprehensively as she stared down at the clump of keys in her hand. There were at least a dozen keys on the keychain. She tried three or four for the door before she finally got the right fit, pushing open the huge front door to reveal Bobby standing there in his PJs.
“Good morning,” Bobby said softly, yawning a little and waving at Daniel when he spotted him.
“Good morning,” Antonia panted back, still not fully recovered from moving the boxes from her car. “Can you guys go sit on the couch for a minute while I deal with…all this?” She gestured to the pile of boxes and suitcases behind her on the porch. Bobby nodded and waved Daniel over to the couch, handing him his coloring book while they waited.
It was another few minutes before Antonia had everything inside the house, and by then she was practically drenched in sweat, her tank top clinging to her chest. “Okay,” she said, more to herself than to either of the boys in the room. “Now to pick out a place to put this stuff…”
“I have to go to the bathroom! Gotta pee!” Daniel suddenly announced.
Oh, shit, Antonia thought, realizing that she had no idea where any of the bathrooms were. “Um….um…” she said out loud as she began marching down a hall, throwing open doors one by one looking for a toilet for her son, who only ever informed her of his need to urinate when his bladder was completely full. She didn’t have a whole lot of time to work with here, so after about thirty seconds of futile searching she started to resign herself to the idea that she was going to have to clean up her son’s pee within her first hour of her new job.
“The potty is that way.” Bobby was pointing in the opposite direction, towards a nook hidden from sight behind the stairwell.
“Oh, Jesus, thank you,” Antonia said in a rush, forgetting that she was talking to a four-year-old as she grabbed her son’s hand and dragged him to the bathroom. “Thank the Lord Christ, fuck,” she muttered under her breath as soon as her son made it to the toilet, shutting the door behind him.
For a moment, she and Bobby just stared at each other, listening awkwardly as Daniel peed. But then curiosity got the better of Antonia, and she cleared her throat to ask Bobby a question, keeping her voice low so that Daniel wouldn’t overhear her.
“So how have the past couple of days been for you, Bobby?” Antonia asked now that they were alone.
“Okay,” Bobby said. “I mean, I miss my mom. I miss her a lot. Do you know when she’s coming to get me?”
Antonia shook her head. “No, honey, I don’t. I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say. The weight of the sadness in Bobby’s eyes crushed down on her. “But I’ll be here for you until she comes back, okay? I promise.”
Bobby smiled a little sadly then, looking weirdly wise, like he was much older than he looked. “People always promise things,” he said, his eyes going hazy and unfocused as he stared off into the space over Antonia’s head, probably imagining things that weren’t there. Antonia felt a little twinge of pain, right in the center of her chest, as if Bobby had reached in with his tiny hand and given her heart a squeeze.
She didn’t have time to come up with a response, however, as the next second her son reappeared, a relieved smile on his face as he rubbed his tummy and walked over to sit on top of one of the boxes of their stuff. “What’s for breakfast, Mommy?” he asked.
Antonia groaned a little and wiped some of the sweat off her forehead. “Breakfast is…not going to be for another couple of minutes, guys,” she said, fidgeting with the hem of her tank top just to get some cool air against her skin. She really needed to work out more if even a tiny amount of exercise like moving exhausted her this badly. In any case, Antonia considered it a small victory when she finally got all the boxes and various bags up the stairs to the second level, where she began searching for the most modest, unassuming room possible for her and Daniel.
“Jesus Christ, this house is huge,” Antonia sighed as she headed downstairs again for the kitchen after picking out the smallest bedroom,.
“Yeah, I got lost a couple times,” Bobby said almost apologetically, as if it was his fault his father’s house was so unmanageably large.
“Has your daddy had time to show you around yet?” Antonia asked tentatively as she began to search through the cabinets for breakfast options, unsure if she was crossing some invisible boundary with the young child.
“He’s not my daddy,” Bobby said, matter-of-factly rather than petulantly. He talked like he was much older than he really was. Antonia wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, her cheeks burning a little in embarrassment. She pulled out some cereal and checked to make sure it wasn’t stale before pouring out two bowls for the boys.
“It’s okay,” Bobby assured her. “It’s just that my mommy told me never to call him that. You always have to listen to your mommy. Right?”
Antonia wasn’t sure what to say. How could she say to him that sometimes mommies weren’t always right? That was probably too much for a four-year-old to understand, even one as smart and sensitive as Bobby appeared to be.
Instead, she just changed the subject. “Are you hungry? Do you want some fruit with your cereal?”
Bobby stared at her for a long moment, his eyes looking almost calculating, like he was able to see right through skull into her thoughts. It was a little unnerving, keeping her pinned to the spot until Daniel came up behind her and tugged at her hand. “Mommy, I’m so hungry.”
“Okay, baby,” Antonia said, patting his head softly. She couldn’t help but notice that Bobby looked away from her then, dropping his gaze to the ground like it would be rude to stare at a mother and child sharing an affectionate moment. Antonia felt a deep, heavy ache in her heart.
Oh, boy, she thought to herself. She was already starting to become attached. This couldn’t be good. Like Mr. Amos had said the night before, this wasn’t a permanent position. She would just have to enjoy it while it lasted.