Olivia drummed her fingers on the steering wheel of the civic. She had been sitting across the road from Blaine’s clubhouse for an hour trying to get the nerve to go and knock on the door. She had circled the block for two hours prior to that just getting the nerve to park outside. Baby steps, she thought, and took a huge breath. Her presence hadn’t gone unnoticed and she noticed the same faces driving by a few times, checking her out. She sat in the car and debated whether or not she was crazy for trying to get to Blaine.
The same van that had been at her house earlier that night pulled into the lot slowly, and then disappeared around the corner of the cinder block building. She assumed that Blaine was with them and tried to calm her racing heart. She sat in the car for another hour and a half. Would Blaine be angry with her for showing up at the clubhouse? What if what she was doing was dangerous? She knew that Blaine would protect her, but was she violating some code that she didn’t know about? She wished that she had more time with Blaine to know these things.
‘Holy fuck, do I want to be with someone who lives by a code anyway?’ She thought, and reached to turn the key to start the engine. She pulled her hand back and sighed. If she didn’t do this, she knew that she would regret it. She opened the door and shook out her legs that had become numb from sitting in the car for three hours.
She jogged across the street and tried to appear confident as she strode down the laneway and approached the reinforced steel door. There were two guys standing outside the door smoking weed and she slowed as she approached them.
“You lost?” The older, scarier looking one asked.
“I…I’m here to see someone,” she stammered.
“Oh yeah, and who might that be?”
“Blaine…” Olivia trailed off, realizing that she had no idea what Blaine’s last name was.
“It’s not a good night sweetheart,” the other, less scary, biker said gruffly.
“Please, I just need to talk to him for one minute.”
“Are you hard of hearing bitch?” the angry one said. “You need to learn to do what you’re told.”
Olivia’s nervousness was immediately replaced by fear. She backed up slowly. “I’ll come back tomorrow. Can you please tell him that I was here to see him?”
“I’ll be sure to let him know that the girl scouts were by,” he mocked.
Just as Olivia was about to turn to walk away, Skinny emerged from the clubhouse.
“Guitar girl!” he said as he took a pull from a cigarette.
“You know this girl?” the scary tall biker asked.
“Yes, she’s one of Blaine’s.”
One of? Olivia’s throat constricted.
“You here to see Blaine?” Skinny asked.
Olivia couldn’t speak, but she nodded her head yes.
“Come with me.” He tossed his cigarette on the ground and opened the door.
The two bikers didn’t say anything, but Olivia could feel their eyes leering as she followed Skinny into the dark and smoky clubhouse. She wrinkled her nose, it smelled like stale beer and body odor, and it was packed with leather clad drunk men.
As she followed Skinny through the crowd she felt an arm slither around her waist. A man pulled her in tightly to him and she could smell the beer and smoke on his breath. His teeth were yellowed and he had a pot belly. She tried to pull back from his vice-like grip. He was repulsive.
“What do we have here?” he slurred.
“Hey. That one’s Blaine’s,” Skinny shouted.
The yellow toothed biker released her and held up his hands. “Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t know.”
Olivia was shaking. ‘What am I doing here? This was a mistake.’ She thought to herself.
Everyone was drunk, and there was a sombre tone to the room. She grasped Skinny’s thick forearm and pulled him in close, “What’s going on here?”
“We lost a brother today. We are celebrating his life. I guess you could say it’s a funeral of sorts.”
“Why is everyone so drunk?”
Skinny just laughed and continued to weave through the crowd.
She was about to turn and leave when she saw Blaine’s ponytail over the back of a leather club chair. Skinny pointed out, “There he is.”
Olivia gulped and nodded to Skinny, thanking him silently for his escort through the sea of sweaty men. As she approached Blaine she saw someone else she recognized. The girl from the restaurant, the one who had poured beer on Maddie. As Olivia moved toward Blaine through the smoky haze, the leather clad woman beat her to him and pulled him in close, hugging his face to her chest. Time slowed like it did in the movies, and Olivia stood frozen watching. Lizzie sunk down and threw one of her skinny legs over Blaine’s legs and sidled down on top of his lap in a straddle. Her hands gripped the back of the chair as she leaned in to kiss Blaine on the neck. From her vantage point, Olivia couldn’t see what Blaine’s hands, or mouth were doing, and she was pretty sure she didn’t want to. The only thing that she needed in that moment was to get the hell out of there. She turned, full of tears and anger, and rushed out of the clubhouse. She didn’t care who she ran into as she ricocheted off drunk biker’s chests. She felt a hand grab her wrist, and balled up her fist in response.
“Easy, easy.” It was Skinny. “Just wait a minute.”
Olivia stared at the fat biker and pulled herself out of his grasp. He reluctantly let her go. She could sense him following her out of the club, and nobody bothered her as she made her way out into the steamy hot summer night. When the reinforced door slammed shut beside her, she broke into a full out sprint, pulling her keys out of her purse. She jumped into the car and sped away, only to stop a few blocks away to let her emotions escape. Her hands gripped the steering wheel as she sobbed. She let the tears run down her face and didn’t bother to wipe them away. All of the emotion she felt over the past week, the attempted rape from the college boy, the loss of a romance that didn’t have the chance to blossom, all came rushing out of her.
It was 3:30 a.m. when she crept into her house as quietly as she could. She was exhausted, but wired at the same time. She turned on the shower as hot as she could get it and let her smoke-filled clothes slip to the floor. She needed to wash the smell of that place off her body. She scrubbed and sobbed until the water went cold.