CHAPTER 18

Stefan walked into the coffee shop and remembered the last time he was here. Sasha had stormed out and called him a psychopathic stalker. He really hoped today didn’t end the same way.

It had been eighteen days since he had left her apartment slamming the door behind him, even as his body still reeled from being with her.

Seventeen since he had spoken to his father.

Five days since he decided what he wanted to do with his life.

Eighteen days he had been missing her. Eighteen days he had spent wanting to phone her, touch her and hear her say his name.

Stefan knew the chances of today turning out different than their previous encounter at the coffee shop was slim, especially since the press had slammed a picture of them coming out of the storage room in the Hamptons together on the gossip pages. They had painted Stefan as the wealthy playboy millionaire corrupting the senator’s daughter.

His own father had first praised him about his choice of girls but had berated him for allowing his reputation to taint hers. So much for family supporting you.

Everything Sasha had warned him about had happened, except one thing. One thing he was busy changing and wanted her to know about. That and the fact that he wanted to see her.

He caught sight of her pushing through the entrance and heading straight for the barista. She wore a white cotton dress with yellow flower prints on. It scooped around her neck and ended just above her knees. Her skin had caught a little sun in the two weeks since he’d seen her. Her hair draped over her shoulders with a few more touches of blonde than before. Even as Stefan watched her he noticed four other men turning their gazes her.

She had that effect on men, Stefan thought as he watched her. She could get your attention without a single word.

After placing her order of a cinnamon latte she turned around and scanned the coffee shop looking for a vacant seat.

Stefan knew the exact moment she spotted him. Surprise dawned on her face but was quickly replaced with anger before it turned to derision. She walked towards him, eyes narrowed. “What do you want?”

Stefan flashed his most charming smile as he inhaled deeply. Her soft floral scent drifted over him even as her eyes flashed daggers.

“I’m enjoying a cup of coffee on a Wednesday afternoon; do I need to want anything?”

“Bulls...Nonsense!” Sasha glanced around; Stefan guessed she wanted to make sure no one heard her nearly cursing. “Just nonsense.” She pulled out a chair and sat down bracing her arms on the table. “Stop following me!” she whispered furiously.

“Can we talk, just a few minutes?” He could see indecision in her eyes. “Two people enjoying coffee. I promise, no touching?”

“Stefan!”

“Okay, okay I promise not to touch you but you can touch me.” Stefan smiled and his words got the reaction he hoped for.

Sasha laughed briefly before she furrowed her brow again. “Haven’t you caused enough damage as it is?”

“No. In fact, I think I didn’t cause any damage. According to yesterday’s polls your father’s position is looking better than ever.” Just to make sure Stefan had kept his eye on the voting polls before he decided on surprising Sasha.

The barista walked over and set Sasha’s cinnamon latte in front of her, he glanced at Stefan who smiled back and handed him a five-dollar tip.

“Stefan, I can’t do this.” Sasha said looking at her hands.

“You don’t have to do anything, just listen.” Stefan said leaning forward. “I left the magazine. I don’t know if I’m going back but at this stage it doesn’t look like it.”

“What? Why?” As surprise washed over her face, Stefan noticed curiosity underneath it.

“I spoke to my dad; I told him I’m tired of riding his coattails. I want to have a go at it on my own. I think I’m going to study photography or something.” Stefan let out the breath he was holding. He had worded that sentence ten different ways in his head and in the end, it had come out all jumbled together.

“Think? You need to be sure, studying is hard work. If you just think you will end up studying the wrong thing and just waste more time and money.” Sasha said sipping on her cinnamon latte.

Stefan couldn’t help but think what her lips had felt like against his own.

“Rephrase. I don’t think I’m going to, I am. I just don’t know if it’s going to be a full-time course, or more something internship based. I’ve never been one for books; I prefer learning hands on…” He let the innuendo hang in the air.

Sasha smiled briefly before chirping back. “You’ve learned quite a bit through that technique.”

“I know.” Stefan grinned feeling a small victory. They were moving onto flirting.

“Photography…” Sasha said thoughtfully mulling it over.

“Yes, I never realized it but I actually enjoy taking photos. The thousands of them on my phone attest to that. The photographer at FACE who used to hate me actually asked my opinion the other day and afterwards told me I’m wasting my talent. Now I just need to decide how I’m going to do that.”

“And when will you decide?”

“I’ve sort of made up my mind, now it’s either finding an internship or a school.”

“Can’t daddy get you a job as a photographer?” Sasha mocked.

Stefan let it glide over him. “I don’t want him to. I told him so in so many words. I want to do this on my own.”

“Why?” Sasha asked.

“Because I need to do something with my life. You said so.” Stefan qualified.

“You’re doing this to please me?” Sasha hissed over the table.

“What?” Stefan asked surprised.

“You’re doing all this so we can see each other again?” She snorted derisively. “That boat has sailed Stefan.”

Stefan realized their meeting was heading south but couldn’t stop himself. “Don’t flatter yourself, I might do a lot for you but studying isn’t one of them.” Stefan said as he felt his temper start to rise.

“Well since you keep stalking me, I can’t help but feel flattered.” Sasha smiled teasingly.

Stefan noticed that spark in her eyes; she was still attracted to him as well. Eighteen days didn’t change her reaction to him either.

“I’m not stalking you; I just wanted to see you.”

“You could’ve phoned.” Sasha sighed before standing up. “I need to go.”

“But you just got here?” Stefan asked confused.

“We can’t see each other; didn’t the press just prove that?”

“So this means nothing?” Stefan demanded.

“If you’re doing it for yourself it shouldn’t mean anything to me.”

“Bullshit! You know what I just realized? It doesn’t matter what I do, nothing will ever be good enough for you. You’re like a princess in an ivory tower that no one can touch. Well you know what princess? You’re never going to find a prince without faults. Everyone has them and if you stop looking at the world through those rose-tinted glasses long enough you’ll realize your own faults and that all I care about you.” Stefan stopped abruptly; he didn’t intend to go that far. But it maybe it was better where she stood with him. He grabbed his own backpack and headed out the door leaving her staring after him this time.

He walked towards Washington State Park berating himself. Why did he think it would make a difference to her? He wasn’t good enough for her, that was the bottom line. He needed to get her out of his head.

Something that had been easy before now proved to be hard. Previously Stefan would’ve had a couple of beers with friends, went to a few parties and met a new girl. But since he touched Sasha for the first time, no other girl appealed to him.

He had gone to one party over the weekend in the Hamptons, but what used to be fun and exciting now seemed shallow and boring.

Sasha had become the voice in his head, the voice urging him to do better, to work harder and to take responsibility. When had she claimed her spot amongst his inner voices? He wasn’t sure, neither was he sure how to get rid of her.

He watched a couple walking by holding hands and laughing together. Why couldn’t it be that simple for him and Sasha? Why couldn’t they just be another young couple in love? Why did he have to think about her reputation, her father’s campaign, and her expectations of him? Why couldn’t he just tell her that he cared and have that be enough?

Stefan thought of all his friends who had gotten hitched or engaged over the past year and wondered how they did it? How did Garrett get Skye to accept his serious nature? How did Seth get FAWN to allow him into her world of fame? How did any of it work, because it sure as hell didn’t seem workable from where he was standing.

He wasn’t getting direction in his life because of Sasha but more because she made him see things he didn’t see before. She made him see himself through her eyes and the picture wasn’t pretty.

He wanted to do better, to earn a reputation that spoke of good character. He wanted to make something of himself without his father’s help, and more than anything, he wanted Sasha.

Stefan crossed the road and nearly got run over as a taxi zoomed by.

“Are you alright?” A man shouted from the other side of the street.

Stefan nodded and spoke to himself. “I will be, with or without Sasha Morris.”