CHAPTER 23
SAMANTHA
“Don’t pull away,” I demanded. “You need ice on that eye.”
Grumbling something I didn’t understand, Xander reached up and held the cold pack I’d made for his eye.
His handsome face was a mess, and his left eye was swelling and bruised from where he’d taken a massive punch.
I sat down on the couch next to him, watching to make sure he kept the cold pack over his injury. I’d been shocked to realize I’d slept all the way back to Xander’s house, waking up only as he lifted me out of the passenger seat of his vehicle when we’d arrived home. Sleep had fled in a hurry once I realized I had Xander back with me, and he was injured from his scuffle with my annoyingly drunk attacker. “What were you thinking, Xander?” I asked with a sigh.
He shrugged. “I was thinking that the asshole was hurting you and he needed to die. I was trying to protect you.”
My heart stuttered. Nobody had been there to protect me or watch out for me for a very long time. Even though his attempt was misguided, I was pretty touched that he cared enough to try to shield me from somebody he thought was dangerous. I stretched up and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you. Nobody has tried to protect me for a really long time.”
“Somebody needs to. I decided it’s going to be me,” he rasped. “It’s always going to be me, Sam. There’s no way I can be rational if somebody is hurting you.”
“Just promise me you won’t do something that sends you to jail again. I was worried.”
Xander had been like a man possessed as he’d pinned my attacker under him and pummeled him until he was unconscious. I hadn’t been able to stop him. Nobody had until his cousin had arrived and physically dragged Xander off the drunk man who’d been trying to pull me toward his vehicle.
I was pretty certain the guy would probably eventually see reason. If I could have turned, he probably would have seen that I wasn’t his girlfriend and let me go. Then again, I didn’t know that. After finding out that he had a blood-alcohol level that should have rendered him unconscious, I was glad Xander had intervened. Knowing how drunk he’d been, maybe he wouldn’t have stopped to think.
However, I wasn’t happy that Xander had been injured and put in jail for jumping to my rescue. What he’d done had definitely been overkill. One punch and the obnoxious college guy would have been out cold.
“I can’t promise you that,” Xander growled. “I swore I wouldn’t lie to you again. If somebody tries to hurt you, I’ll hurt them before they ever harm a hair on your head.”
His voice was angry and intense, but it didn’t frighten me. I’d realized a long time ago that Xander would never physically hurt me. Yeah, he’d said some things in anger that he shouldn’t have said. But I believed him when he confessed that he was afraid of being set up and hurt.
I gave up as I let out a long breath of air from my lungs. “Okay. Promise you’ll try. Just like you don’t want to see me hurt, I don’t want to see you in pain, either.”
“I’ll live,” he answered stubbornly.
“Xander,” I said in a warning voice.
“Okay. For you, I’ll try.” He didn’t sound particularly sincere.
I bit back a smile as I realized just how far he’d go to make sure I was safe. There was a messed-up sense of security in knowing he’d be my knight in shining armor if I needed one. Okay, maybe he was a bit tainted and rough around the edges, but I still loved him for trying to rescue me.
“Thank you for trying.”
“I fucked up your birthday,” he said remorsefully.
“No, you didn’t.” I reflexively reached for the teardrop around my neck, holding it gently as I remembered how wrecked I’d been when he’d explained why he’d given it to me. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for me. “I love my gift, dinner was amazing, and I still have cake in the fridge.”
He turned his head and grinned. “So can we just forget the part where I hammered on some guy who tried to hurt you and got thrown in jail?”
“I don’t see why not,” I agreed, trying to lighten the mood.
“I was pissed, Sam. I saw him trying to choke you out and pull you away, and I lost it.”
I gazed into his dark eyes and my heart melted. Something inside him had definitely snapped. “Was it pent-up anger?” I asked.
“Nope. It was rage at seeing somebody trying to hurt you. It wasn’t misplaced anger. I know exactly where it was coming from. I feel fucking protective, and you’ve had enough hurt and pain in your life. I never want to see you hurt again for any damn reason.”
The ache in my chest intensified. “Pain is part of life, Xander.”
“Fuck that. It’s taken up enough of your life. It’s time for you to always be happy.”
“I am happy,” I assured him as I reached up to gently touch the uninjured side of his face.
“How can you possibly be happy? You’re stuck with me right now, and I’m probably one of the most miserable guys on Earth.”
I hated hearing those words. Xander was everything to me, even though he didn’t know it. He’d brought me peace, and the man I was starting to know well was anything but pathetic. “No, you are not,” I answered emphatically as I gently swung my leg over his and straddled him.
“How do you figure?” he asked as he pulled the ice pack off his face and dropped it on the couch.
His arms came firmly around my waist, and I rested my hands on his shoulders.
I stroked a lock of hair off his forehead. “Xander, you’re stronger than you realize.”
His hands landed firmly on my ass. “Right now, I don’t feel any strength at all, Samantha. And if you don’t get off me, you’ll find out just how little willpower I possess.”
It was a warning, but I ignored him. “Then I’d get exactly what I needed. I’d get you,” I said breathlessly. “I need you, Xander.”
“Baby, last warning,” he said in a tortured voice.
I watched his eyes grow darker and more covetous as he drilled me with a stare that was nothing but sultry, carnal, and predatory. My body responded, my nipples hardening and my empty core clenching with the need for him to satisfy me.
Rather than answer him, I braced myself on my knees and lifted my body, grabbing the hem of my sundress to pull it over my head. I tossed it on the floor carelessly, keeping my eyes on Xander.
“I don’t need your warnings,” I told him. “I want you just as much as you want me.”
His hands speared into my hair, then fisted it. “If this happens right now, Samantha, I’ll never let you go. I won’t be able to watch you walk away,” he growled.
Our intense connection rose up inside me. “I won’t let you go, either, Xander. Not ever. You’d have to physically push me away.”
He stood abruptly, and I had to scramble to get my footing as he said gutturally, “Not fucking happening, baby. I’ve needed you for too damn long.”
He tore off his T-shirt and his jeans in a frenzy, like he desperately needed to get naked. Both of us were frenzied, and I tried to help him, but only ended up hindering his efforts.
My breath was sawing in and out of my lungs frantically as I shimmied out of my panties, the only remaining item of clothing I was wearing.
“Christ, Sam! You’re so fucking beautiful,” he grunted as he caught me around the waist once he was completely nude. His arms wrapped around me and he held us together skin-to-skin.
I savored the connection, wrapping my arms around his neck to plaster myself against him. He was warm and alive, every nerve in my body sparking as I closed my eyes against the intense emotions that were trying to escape from my soul.
This was where I wanted to be.
This was how I needed Xander.
This was how I loved him.
I stroked my hands over his back, exploring every inch of his bare skin underneath my fingertips. “Xander,” I breathed out helplessly.
“I know, sweetheart. I feel it. But I’m not fucking afraid of this anymore.” He rested his head beside my temple. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m not going to not tell you that. I’m not going to bullshit myself that I don’t need this and you more than I need anything else in my life.”
I put my hands on each side of his face as I pulled back and met his startlingly intense eyes. “Then fuck me like you mean it, Xander. No holding back.”
Rather than answer, he swooped down and captured my mouth with his, the embrace so possessive that it made my core flood with heat. I clutched at his hair, not caring if I was out of control. I needed more, and my tongue entwined with his as we let go of the uninhibited passion we’d been holding back for far too long.
I whimpered against his mouth as his hand glided down my body and landed on my needy pussy, his fingers delving into the warmth and wetness waiting for him.
“Jesus, Sam!” he rasped when he yanked his mouth from mine. “You’re so fucking hot.”
I gave him a shove, and he fell back onto the couch. “Because of you, Xander. Because I need you.”
I kneeled between his massive thighs, my palms slapping on his shoulders and stroking down his smooth chest. When I finally got to his engorged cock, I wrapped my hand around it greedily.
“Sam,” Xander groaned.
“Don’t tell me no. Please.” I wanted to taste him. I needed it.
He grasped my hair. “Fuck!” he cursed loudly.
Before he could protest, I leaned down and licked the bead of moisture on the mushroomed head of his cock, savoring Xander’s essence before I went down on him, taking as much of his enormous shaft as possible. I loved the needy sound of his ragged breathing, and the way his grip tightened on my hair. I teased him, applying suction as I let his cock slide out of my mouth, and then licked around the sensitive head.
I went down again, this time getting myself into a fierce rhythm as I listened to the sound of his breathing, letting him guide me over his member to set the pace he wanted.
Giving head wasn’t exactly something I was skilled at doing, but it didn’t seem to matter to Xander as he groaned and guided my mouth into a hard and fast pace. I closed my eyes as my pussy drenched with even more wet heat, turned on by the way he was responding. His fierceness called out to me, and I couldn’t resist touching myself as I sucked harder and harder on Xander.
He let out a feral growl when I wrapped my hand around the root of his cock, moving it in sync with my mouth, lost in his pleasure and my own.
My moan vibrated against him as I touched my throbbing clit, so damn desperate for the stimulation I craved.
“Fuck! Sam! I’m going to explode!” Xander said, his breath heaving and his body tensing.
That was exactly what I wanted. I forgot about my own pleasure and cupped his balls gently, intensifying my pace as I moved up and down on his lengthy shaft.
“Jesus Christ!” he shouted desperately, his hands still gripping my hair.
He climaxed violently, and my body responded, my clit throbbing and my core clenching in response as his warm release flowed into my throat and I swallowed eagerly, never slowing as his body jerked in ecstasy.
I dropped on my ass while I licked along his shaft, then across the sensitive tip until he grabbed my hands and pulled me up, hauling me bodily into his lap to straddle him.
“You nearly fucking killed me,” he rasped beside my ear as my head dropped onto his shoulder.
“Are you complaining?” I teased as I ran my finger through his damp hair. “I honestly don’t have much experience with oral sex.”
“No!” he denied. “I’d be happy to die just like that. No complaints.”
I smiled against his skin, content to cuddle with him while he caught his breath. I’d always wondered what in the hell could be sexy about giving a guy oral sex. Now, I knew. There was a certain connection, a sharing of their pleasure if it was the right guy. And Xander was that man for me. I’d felt every pulse of his orgasm, and it was one of the hottest things I’d ever experienced.
I lifted my head and looked at his face. “Does this hurt?” I gently touched the bruise under his eye.
He shook his head. “After what just happened, nothing hurts,” he answered huskily.
There was still a darkness to Xander that called to me. It wasn’t sinister, and it wasn’t evil. It was an empty place inside both of us, a place that dwelt inside us from the bad things that had happened in our lives. It was a dusky area that only lit up when we were together.
I took my hand away from his bruised face, afraid that I’d hurt him. My fingers went instinctively to the teardrop around my neck. “Thank you for this,” I whispered.
“You look good wearing it with absolutely no clothes on,” he said with a smirk.
His expression slowly turned wicked as sin, and I squeaked as he pinned me to the couch so fast I never saw it coming.
“My turn,” he demanded in a hoarse voice.
I looked up at him and melted completely.