CHAPTER 25
SAMANTHA
A few weeks later, I was smiling as I walked down Main Street and spied Xander striding toward me.
He was in his usual dark T-shirt and black jeans, his gorgeous eyes hidden by a pair of dark sunglasses as he moved down the street with a sexy, powerful stride that immediately lightened my heart. Little by little, he was getting more comfortable in his own skin again, and he didn’t seem afraid to go out in public anymore.
I saw an occasional reaction to loud noises and crowds from his PTSD, but he was getting better and better at not reacting as he became accustomed and exposed to the outside world again.
I’d done some shopping while Xander had gone to a morning appointment with a counselor. It hadn’t been easy to get him back into therapy, but if he was going to continue to recover, he needed it.
He’d come so damn far, and he’d promised me that he was opening up to the male psychologist I’d searched out for him. Of course, in his usual Xander way, he’d questioned the fact that I was already living with him, and I was a psychologist. I’d explained to him that it just didn’t work that way. I’d never wanted him to be my patient, and I’d told him that was like asking a cardiac surgeon to do bypass surgery on a member of his family.
It didn’t work.
I was too involved.
I really wasn’t licensed in the state of Maine.
And I was in love with him.
I’d been way too close to the situation, even from the beginning. Since his parents’ murderer had been my patient, and I’d had to struggle with my own guilt, I’d never been able to be anything more than a friend to Xander.
Well . . . now I supposed I was a friend with benefits.
Not that I was complaining, and I didn’t want to ever push him for more than he was ready to give. He had enough on his plate to deal with, and I had a book to finish writing.
Thankfully, there had been no consequences of the unprotected sex Xander and I had engaged in on my birthday. I’d hightailed it to a doctor and gotten a Depo shot, and I was relieved when I got my period right after that office visit.
An unexpected pregnancy was the last thing either one of us needed. We’d had the talk, then agreed that neither one of us would have another sexual partner as long as we were together. We were careful after that, and now that the Depo was effective, we had sex almost everywhere, and in almost every conceivable position. He was insatiable, but I wasn’t complaining about that, either. I pretty much wanted him naked the moment I saw him.
My heart stuttered as he finally spotted me in the crowd, and his grin as he headed toward me made me start moving forward a little bit faster.
“How did it go?” I asked curiously as he pulled me into his arms for a kiss.
There was no answer until he had me thoroughly breathless from his quick but passionate embrace.
He finally lifted his mouth from mine, oblivious to the people milling around us. He wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked slowly down the street.
He shrugged. “It was good, I guess. I can’t exactly say I enjoy spilling my guts out to some guy in an office.”
“I know,” I answered. “But it helps. I’m proud of you, if that makes any difference.”
“It does,” he replied. “If it makes you happy, I’ll go every fucking day.”
I laughed, then punched his bicep playfully. “I think that’s pushing it. But thank you for listening to me.”
“You’re the doctor.”
I nodded. “Yes, I am.”
I really was proud of Xander. I was pretty sure that every visit to his counselor was excruciating, but he dragged himself into town and went there anyway. It took an extraordinary guy to force himself to do something so painful, especially since he hadn’t had the best of luck with mental-health professionals.
We stopped as we reached his vehicle, one very flashy black Ferrari convertible. Xander liked speed, but I had a feeling that his car had pretty much stayed in the garage for the last several years, probably cared for by his brothers.
He hadn’t bothered to put the top on. It was a gorgeous day, but I found it kind of interesting that he apparently wasn’t concerned about whether or not his car would get stolen.
As he opened the passenger door, I asked him teasingly, “What are you going to do in the winter?”
“Buy myself a truck,” he countered immediately with a mischievous smile.
I rolled my eyes at him. “That’s sort of a waste,” I scolded without much conviction. Really, Xander could afford whatever he wanted, but he seemed to love it when I gave him hell about being wealthy and wasteful.
He shrugged. “If you’ve got it, flaunt it,” he drawled.
The man had no shame, but I found myself admiring his honesty. Xander didn’t try to pretend he was anything other than who he was. The guy was loaded, and never tried to pretend that he wasn’t. But he actually never flaunted his wealth like he’d claimed or treated anybody with anything less than kindness.
He was just a man who loved his big-boy toys.
Really, no different from any other guy.
I started to lower myself into the bucket seat when Xander froze, his eyes staring straight down the street.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The noises were close, but I could tell it wasn’t an actual gunshot, although it damn well sounded like it. I straightened and followed Xander’s stare.
“I’ve got you, come back here!” The excited comment came from a young boy who was holding a toy gun in his hand. He was chasing after another child who scampered right past Xander.
I stepped in front of Xander, pulled off his sunglasses, and put my hands on both sides of his face. “Xander! Don’t go back there. It’s just a toy. A cap gun. You’re okay. I’m here.” My voice was strong and confident as I turned his head down and stretched so he would look me in the eyes.
“Samantha?” he said in a confused tone.
“Yes. It’s me. Everything is okay.” I tried to make sure he didn’t slip into the past from seeing the gun and hearing the loud explosions from the toy. “Stay with me,” I insisted.
He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m here. I’m okay,” he answered huskily.
I let out a relieved breath. “Good. Everything is fine. It was just a kid with a cap gun.”
“Fuck! I hate it when that happens,” he said irritably.
“It’s fine,” I argued. “Relax. It’s going to happen once in a while now that you’re out in public. I know it’s inconvenient, but it will pass. Remember that.”
He leaned down and dropped a light kiss on my lips. “It sucks,” he said in a more focused tone.
“We can skip the farmers’ market if you want,” I offered.
We’d planned to drive outside of town and stroll around the local farmers’ market. I’d been hoping to find some wild blueberries for a cake.
“And miss the cake? Not happening,” he answered in a more confident tone.
“I think it will be mostly locals, so maybe it won’t be crowded.” I dropped into the seat, and Xander closed the passenger door.
“I’ll be okay,” he answered when he skipped opening the door and just hopped into the driver’s seat. “I have you.”
My heart melted just like it always did when he said something that sweet. “I’ve got your back,” I teased.
“And I have yours, including your gorgeous ass,” he said as he took his sunglasses from my hand and put them on.
I laughed because I couldn’t help myself.
It was a beautiful day.
I was riding in a convertible Ferrari with a gorgeous guy.
And he liked my ass.
Life was good, and I was going to enjoy every moment of it.