CHAPTER 5
“Tell me again exactly why we’re here?” Hope asked Evan as they passed down each aisle of the supermarket closest to the Peninsula. She was dropping things into the cart as Evan navigated it down the aisle with the junk food.
“Because you told me that Randi lives outside of town, and she might need supplies,” Evan answered his sister calmly, even though he’d explained himself several times. “There’s a second storm coming in, according to the weather report.”
What if she can’t get into town?
What if she lost power and she’s all alone out in the country?
What if she doesn’t have enough to eat?
Hope tossed a bag of chips and some dip into the cart, then stopped and propped her hands on her hips. “Since when would you care? I talked to Randi this morning to see if she needed anything, and she said she was fine. The power is still on, and she was getting ready to go out and clear the snow with her plow. She just mentioned possibly needing to come into town. She’s lived in Maine for over fourteen years, Evan. Believe me, Miranda Tyler knows how to get through snow.”
“Miranda?” Evan looked at Hope, confused.
Hope went back to throwing food in the cart. “Miranda is her full name, but everybody calls her Randi,” she clarified.
“She didn’t grow up here?” Evan asked casually. He’d always assumed that Amesport was her hometown.
He reached down and removed the chips and dip from the cart to put them back. It was pure junk, with very little nutritional value.
“Hold it!” Hope said firmly. “Put those back. You asked me to come here to help you pick out what Randi likes. Those are her favorites.”
Evan peered into the cart, frowning. “Does she eat anything healthy?”
Hope’s laughter rang out merrily in the crowded store. “Not often, and not much you would approve of. She’s a junk-food junkie, but she’s a runner, so she burns the calories as fast as she puts them in her mouth.” She snatched the items from Evan’s hands, dropped them back into the cart, and added some bagels.
“So her family moved here when she was an adolescent?” Evan knew he was digging for information, and so did his sister. Hope had been giving him perplexed looks ever since he’d asked her to leave the baby with Jason for a short time to help him go to the store.
He’d spent most of the weekend catching up with his family. Travel was easy within the Peninsula because they all lived in the same general area. They also had a plow on private contract, and the road and their driveways were constantly being cleared.
Micah had been right about baby David. He really wasn’t bald. The infant had very light hair, and he took after his dad . . . a lot. But Evan could see many of Hope’s features in the baby, too, and his heart had swelled with unexpected pride the first time he saw his new nephew. He wasn’t a man who thought much about babies, but David was one of their own, and his protective instinct had kicked into gear almost immediately after seeing the innocent baby. Evan knew he’d be busy in the years ahead making sure his nephew was on the right path. Not that he didn’t trust his sister and Jason as parents, but Hope hadn’t exactly picked a safe career choice. He wouldn’t interfere, of course, but he’d check in often on the first of the new generation of Sinclairs to see if his nephew needed . . . guidance. Technically, Evan knew David was a Sutherland, but it didn’t matter what his last name was; he had Sinclair blood and Evan considered him a Sinclair, his baby sister’s child and Evan’s first nephew.
Evan looked at Hope because she still hadn’t answered his question. His sister looked unusually disconcerted. He cocked an eyebrow at her and she looked at him carefully, as though she was contemplating how to answer.
Finally, she said carefully, “No. She wasn’t born here. Randi moved from California to Amesport when she was fourteen.”
“With her parents?” Evan didn’t think it was that unusual to change locations. People did it all the time for various reasons.
“With her new parents,” Hope admitted. “Randi was sort of a foster child to the Tylers.”
“Sort of?” How could somebody be “sort of” a foster child? They either were fostered or they weren’t, no matter how long of a time they remained with their foster parents.
Hope shrugged and gave Evan a pleading glance. “It’s Randi’s story to tell. I’ve told you what I’m comfortable revealing. The Tylers were elderly, but they gave her a good home.”
Her name is really Miranda.
Her foster parents were elderly, now most likely deceased.
She loves junk food.
Evan stopped walking abruptly, alarm bells screeching loudly in his mind. It couldn’t possibly be . . .
“Did she lose her foster mother recently?” Evan held his breath, his jaw clenched tightly. What were the chances?
Coincidence. Highly unlikely. There was no way that Randi was . . .
“Yes.” Hope looked at Evan suspiciously. “How did you know? Joan passed away over a month ago. Randi was completely devastated.”
“Fuck!” The expletive shot out of his mouth like a cannonball. “There’s no damn way!”
Hope reached out and grasped his arm, smiling at the people staring at Evan, as though she was trying to tell them everything was fine. “I think you’re scaring the other customers. What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” he replied in a husky voice, looking down into Hope’s concerned expression. “Everything,” he admitted reluctantly.
He felt like he’d just taken a forceful punch in the gut by a heavyweight.
He had no doubt in his mind that Randi Tyler and his mysterious M. were the same woman. It was no coincidence. The chances of two women in Amesport losing an elderly foster mother just a short time ago were just too far of a stretch. “Let’s finish,” he told Hope in a milder voice, edging the cart forward.
Hope gave him a dubious look, but she continued putting items in the cart while Evan tried to process the information he’d just discovered. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Randi did a lot of volunteer work at the Center, and she was good friends with Emily.
“So is Randi seeing anyone?” Evan asked curiously as he watched Hope carefully place a sugar-filled cake into the basket. The entire cart was loaded now. Randi could probably survive a very long siege if she had to, even if the majority of the items weren’t all that nutritious.
Hope shot him a sideways glance and shook her head. “No serious relationship. Tessa has been trying to get her to go out with her brother, Liam. The two of them own Sullivan’s Steak and Seafood. They have the best lobster rolls in town.”
“Never heard of the place,” Evan muttered.
“Liam’s quite successful with the restaurant. He’s also a nice guy. He’d be perfect for Randi when they finally get to meet for a real date. I hope she finds someone. She deserves a nice guy in her life.”
Over his dead body. He might not be the nice guy Hope had wished for, but it didn’t matter. “He’s not perfect for her,” Evan told his sister hurriedly, his voice sounding slightly raspy. “She needs somebody who understands her.”
“And that would be . . . ?” Hope left Evan to fill in the blank.
“Me,” he growled in a low voice only Hope would hear.
“You two hate each other,” his sister answered, her tone confused.
“I don’t hate her. I never have,” Evan admitted, following Hope as she pulled the shopping cart around the corner and went down the pet-food aisle. “I just don’t know what to say to her.”
Hope motioned to a bag of dog food that looked big enough to feed a horse. “Can you get one of those and put it on the bottom?”
Evan hefted up the bag and slid it onto the bottom rack. “Does she own a damn kennel full of dogs?” he grumbled as he pulled himself up to his full height again.
Hope snickered. “No . . . just Lily, her golden retriever. But her dog runs with her, and Lily is very active. The bag isn’t that big.” She hesitated before she added, “That’s another thing . . . You don’t like dogs.” Letting out an exasperated sigh, Hope turned to face him. “You’re going to tell me what’s going on the minute we leave this store.”
“I’ll think about it,” Evan told her evenly, not sure how much he could say. Hell, he hadn’t even been able to put everything together himself yet, or reconcile the two women as one.
“You’ll do it or I’ll call Randi myself and find out,” Hope threatened ominously.
“Don’t,” Evan asked hastily. “I’ll tell you.” If Hope started digging, it could mean trouble. He didn’t know if Randi had ever told his sister about her email correspondence, but it wouldn’t take much for the two intelligent women to figure everything out.
Hope nodded and started pulling the cart toward the checkout. “Good. I was pretty sure you would.” Her voice sounded smug.
When did his sweet baby sister get this bossy and manipulative? Evan must have missed her transition from kind younger sibling to tough negotiator somewhere over the years.
He was silent as he followed Hope to check out the groceries, still shaking his head in shock.
He liked M. and he always had.
He was incredibly attracted to Randi—aka Miranda—but he didn’t exactly like her. Maybe he knew that he definitely didn’t hate her, but to say he was actually fond of her was stretching it, even though his dick definitely adored her.
If he put the two women together as one single female . . . he knew he was completely and totally screwed, and not in a good way.
Evan didn’t say another word until they got back to Hope’s vehicle, and then he didn’t have a choice but to spill the whole story.
Unfortunately, once he started spilling his secrets to Hope, he couldn’t stop.
“Oh, Evan,” Hope said softly, bringing her palm to her brother’s face. Tears were pouring down her cheeks as he finally finished his last story about his childhood. “Why did you go through so much all alone? We could have helped you, or at least been there to support you. You didn’t have to face all of your challenges alone.”
He shrugged. “I’m the oldest. It’s my responsibility to take care of all of you.”
Hope’s heart had broken as she’d realized that Evan had faced so many challenges when he was so young, and still did because of his issues. “We’re all grown up now, Evan. We don’t need you to take care of us anymore, but we’ll always love you and need you as our brother.”
Evan grasped her hand and turned his blue-eyed stare her way. For once, the way he was feeling was actually revealed on his face. He looked solemn and remorseful, and Hope already knew why.
“I failed you the worst, Hope,” he uttered hoarsely. “When you needed me the most, I wasn’t there.”
Her tears fell harder until she could barely see his face, her vision blurred. How could he blame himself for her past? She’d been an adult, made her own decisions. From where she was now, she didn’t regret her past, because it had brought her to Jason and her beloved son. Regardless, the horror she’d suffered in the past had nothing to do with Evan. She’d intentionally covered her tracks, and she hadn’t expected him to save her from anything. She’d wanted to do things on her own.
“I didn’t want you to know, Evan. I didn’t want anyone to know. I was free for the first time in my life, and I loved it at the time. Nothing you could have done would have made me stop, and it’s not your fault. I was an adult and it was my life.” She needed to find a way to get her lug-headed brother to understand that he wasn’t responsible for every bad thing that happened to any of them in their lives. If he could, Evan would bear the blame for every wrong in the Sinclair family, but it couldn’t continue. “It wasn’t your fault,” she repeated, hoping he’d believe it in time if she said it often enough.
“Our father was an asshole, and our mother didn’t give a damn about any of us. Somebody needed to protect all of you,” he said defensively.
“Who was there to protect you? You were just a child, too,” Hope said softly, keeping her hand in Evan’s as he lowered her arm, resting his hand on the leather seat of the car.
“I don’t think I was ever a child,” Evan answered abruptly.
Sometimes Hope wondered if he ever had been just a kid. It seemed like he’d been born in a suit and tie, ready to be an adult. But he hadn’t always been an adult, and nobody had been there for him during his childhood. Now that she understood why Evan was the way he was, she knew that she had to try to fix it. Her heart ached with sadness at the unfairness of the situation, and his insistence on always being the strong protector. He’d always been distant, but she’d felt him pulling away from his family, and he needed them. The truth was, they needed him just as much. The entire Sinclair family needed to finally heal from the wounds of their upbringing. “I think you need to tell Grady, Dante, and Jared.” All of them worried about Evan and the distance he’d put between them. She understood why, to an extent, but it needed to end. He was mistaken in thinking he wasn’t wanted anymore. Not that he’d said that, but Hope could sense it. Every one of them loved him, whether he could accept that affection or not. Yeah, sometimes Evan was a jerk. But looking back, he had been a protector to each one of them at one time or another. Right now, Hope’s heart ached that none of them had realized that Evan had experienced his own unique challenges.
“I don’t know if I can,” Evan shared quietly. “They’re all happy now.”
So they no longer needed or wanted their eldest brother?
Hope’s heart clenched because Evan didn’t feel like he had a purpose anymore, now that they were all grown. He’d tried to be a surrogate father to them all for so long that he didn’t know how to be just a brother. “We still need you, Evan. We love you. You don’t need to be perfect anymore.”
“I’m as close to perfect as any man can be,” Evan grumbled disgruntledly. “It’s impossible to be completely faultless.”
Hope burst out laughing. Tears were still rolling down her face as she realized that some things about her eldest brother would never change, and she really didn’t want him to be someone he wasn’t. He was a product of his upbringing and his own experiences in his life. Evan was a good man, but he needed a woman who would help him laugh at himself occasionally.
Randi would be perfect for him, but the situation was definitely precarious at the moment. After everything she’d learned about Evan today, the last thing she wanted was to see him brokenhearted. Oh, not that he’d admitted that he was anything more than strangely attracted to Randi right now, and that he’d come to like her through their correspondence when he’d thought he was talking to someone else. But Hope could see all of the signs. She had a husband she’d been in love with most of her life. It wasn’t difficult for her to recognize Evan’s attraction as a little more than what he’d described.
“Just shut up and hug me, Evan,” she insisted, smiling through her tears.
He turned away from the steering wheel and held his arms open for her. “Of course, if that’s what you need,” he agreed readily.
I’m not the only one who needs it.
Hope threw herself into his sheltering embrace, knowing he needed a hug just as badly as she did. He held her close and she rested her head on his shoulder, hopeful that someone special like Randi could help heal Evan’s hidden pain. He’d been the rock of their family, the sibling who had always been there for every one of them. As Hope squeezed him tightly, she knew it was beyond his turn to begin healing the wounds of his childhood. She planned on doing everything in her power to make that happen.
“So do you have any suggestions?” Evan asked hesitantly.
Hope knew he was talking about his situation with Randi. As she pulled back from his hug and swiped at her damp face, she told him firmly, “Plenty of them. We need to make another stop on the way back to the Peninsula. We have to get you to loosen up a little. You can drop me off afterward and then run out to Randi’s place with the groceries. I’ll call her so she doesn’t try to make the trip into town. Take my vehicle, and have the plow run in front of you on the way out there. It’s a small, two-lane highway going out to her place. It can get pretty bad.”
Evan gave her a suspicious look, but he didn’t say another word. He shifted the large SUV into gear and asked her where she wanted to go. She gave him directions, and he followed them silently. For once, Hope didn’t feel awkward because of the distance he was trying to create, or his silence, because she understood that Evan was far from indifferent. So much of the Evan they saw on the surface was nothing more than a façade. There was no question he was arrogant, but he was so much more.
“Turn right at the light,” she instructed, wondering how difficult he was going to make her effort to get him some casual clothing.
“When did you get so bossy?” Evan asked gruffly, but he slowed the vehicle to make the turn.
Hope smiled at his comment and answered, “I’ve always been that way. You just never noticed because you were so much bossier.”
He didn’t answer, but she could see the corners of his lips start to turn up.
She leaned back in the heated leather seat contentedly with a grin on her face. Evan was nearly smiling. It might not seem like much to most people, but for her, it meant a hell of a lot.