CHAPTER 15
“Evan looks so much happier,” Mara Sinclair shared with Randi as the women put food away and loaded the dishwasher in Hope’s kitchen. “I’ve been so worried about him.”
Randi wrapped the remainder of the chocolate cake that she’d made and placed it carefully in the refrigerator. “Was he that bad?” she asked curiously.
Hope snorted as she wiped the stovetop. “Yes,” she answered simply.
One of Randi’s attempts to make Evan happy had been to gather his entire family in the same place for dinner. Some moments had been painful to watch since she could see Evan’s struggle not to pull away from them because the habit was ingrained, but he was doing well. She had told him that so much happiness came from the people who loved him, so she’d arranged to have a family dinner at Hope’s home.
The ladies had kicked the men out of the kitchen even though they’d tried to help clean up. Poor Hope was afraid for the safety of her dinnerware. Not that it had taken that much arm-twisting to make the guys retreat to the living room, but they’d grumbled goodheartedly anyway.
With Randi, Emily, Hope, Sarah, and Mara in the kitchen, they’d made short work of cleaning up.
“I can’t believe he actually ate my lasagna and garlic bread. He even went for dessert,” Mara contemplated, her voice sounding happily surprised.
“He didn’t just eat it. Evan enjoyed it,” Emily said, a smile on her face. “It was so nice to see him eat for a change.”
Randi grinned. “I’m slowly trying to introduce him to the joys of eating things that aren’t good for him. His diet was boring and bland. It’s not like he’s going to get fat. He works out.”
“Thank God he’s eating like a normal guy,” Mara replied. “I just wish we had known sooner what he went through as a child. I can’t imagine having dyslexia with a father like theirs.” She shuddered visibly. “It had to have been a nightmare for him.”
Randi knew exactly how Evan’s childhood had affected him all the way into adulthood. “He was beaten pretty badly. You can still see the scars.”
The kitchen went absolutely silent, all of the women suddenly staring at Randi.
“Oh, my God. Grady told me his father didn’t beat him,” Emily said in a somber tone.
“Jared said the same,” Mara related.
“Dante, too,” Sarah added.
“Our father was an asshole and verbally abusive. If he didn’t have something bad to say, he ignored us completely for the most part,” Hope explained. “But as far as I know, he didn’t ever beat any of us.” She looked directly at Randi. “Is it true? Did Evan really get beaten? Why wouldn’t he tell me that part?”
Randi knew exactly why Evan had never told . . . now. She should have kept quiet. Evan putting himself out there as his father’s target for physical abuse had kept his other siblings from getting beaten. Even though she thought his siblings should know everything, she shouldn’t be the one to break that news. “I assumed you all knew. He said he told you about his childhood.”
“We didn’t know that part,” Hope mentioned mournfully.
“Maybe he doesn’t want you to know. It’s in the past, and I think Evan is trying to find his place in the family and in the world. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anybody else,” Randi said, her voice slightly pleading.
All the women nodded their heads.
“We won’t mention it. I want Evan to feel comfortable. But I still don’t understand. God, my father was an asshole!” Hope exclaimed, sounding angry for Evan. “It’s a wonder that Evan turned out to be so successful.”
Randi shrugged. “It’s not really surprising. Dyslexic children can be very creative and extremely intelligent. Lots of famous people are thought to have been dyslexic: Alexander Graham Bell, Albert Einstein, Pierre Curie, Picasso, Ansel Adams, Richard Branson, and Thomas Edison.” She paused to take a breath. “And there are so many more.”
“Evan is just as smart as any other genius,” Mara confirmed. “How did he learn?”
Randi sighed. “He learned by working so damn hard. It takes a lot of repetition, and learning to understand things in a different way. He had to learn the concept of phonics before he could actually apply it to reading. For Evan, dyslexia was one learning problem in a sea of strengths that he possesses. Time and perseverance helped him learn to read and write when he was struggling. Every child is different and has different levels of difficulty. Now we have reading programs that help, and audiobooks are a great tool if kids can read along with the audio.”
“What makes him so uptight?” Hope asked inquisitively.
“He’s anal,” Randi admitted. “But I think in his mind everything around him has to be running optimally for him to be functional. No highs and lows. No ups or downs. No shades of gray. It keeps him organized and focused. The problem with Evan is he’s never had time to be spontaneous or undisciplined. It’s not healthy for him now, even though it was probably his coping mechanism earlier in life. He’s always wanted to prove to your father that he can run his business well, be successful. Unfortunately, I think he’s still trying to prove something even though your father is gone.”
“We want to help. What can we do?” Mara asked anxiously.
“Just care about him and realize that he isn’t wired the same way as everybody else. He’s not going to change so much that he’ll never be an arrogant jerk sometimes, but he’s trying. He wants to be part of the family. Now that you’re all grown up and happy, he’s not quite sure where he belongs.” Evan could protest all he wanted, but he did want to be loved.
“He belongs with the rest of us,” Mara said forcefully. “I don’t care if he’s arrogant. All of the Sinclair men are arrogant in their own way, but their hearts are good. I just want Evan to be happy, and so does everyone else.”
The women nodded their heads enthusiastically.
“It will just take time,” Randi admitted.
“We aren’t going anywhere,” Hope said emphatically.
Randi smiled, knowing the four tigresses in the room would grab onto Evan and never let go. The Sinclairs loved their family, and Randi knew they’d help him find out exactly where he fit in. He would eventually realize he really was loved.
“Are you going to tell us what’s happening between you two?” Sarah asked bluntly.
Randi flushed, turning her face away from the other women on the pretense of wiping the countertops. “Nothing. He’ll leave right after the party. He said he’s got an important meeting on Monday morning. We’re just trying to be . . . friends.” That sounded safe enough. “We got off to a bad start, but I think I’m starting to understand and like him a little,” she added.
“I know that’s bullshit,” Hope answered. “I can see how he looks at you, and how he watches you constantly. But thank you for trying to help my brother.”
“I’m not doing much, really. I’m just trying to get him to relax a little and enjoy life.” Randi sighed.
“Well, he is more relaxed, and he looks like all he wants is to take you home and jump your bones,” Mara observed.
Randi couldn’t deny that she and Evan had off-the-charts chemistry, so she remained silent. She’d probably been just as guilty of watching Evan like a woman who just wanted to strip him naked and devour him.
Hope came to Randi’s rescue. “Shall we join the guys? I think they’ve been deprived of our company for far too long.”
Randi breathed a sigh of relief as they all left the kitchen to go join their men.
The next evening, Randi wanted to laugh as she watched Evan trying to meditate. It was clear this night was going to be a challenge.
Since Evan had brought her supplies to his house during the storm, she’d cooked at his place tonight, and he had eaten like a horse, including dessert.
After spending the night with his family the night before, Evan had insisted on her staying with him on the Peninsula and letting him take her home early in the morning so she could get dressed for school.
He’d rocked her world as soon as they’d walked through the door last night, and Evan had promptly announced he was “happy” the moment she had her first climax.
She’d laughed, both exasperated and amused that Evan only appeared to be “happy” when he was making her come.
Tonight, she was determined to show him that not all happiness or being content revolved around earth-shattering sex.
So far, she seemed to be failing miserably.
“You need to close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing,” Randi instructed as she sat cross-legged on his living-room floor. She’d brought a few items of clothing, including the pair of yoga pants and the tattered T-shirt she was wearing. “Center on your breathing and be an observer. You can acknowledge your thoughts, but don’t react to them. Just treat them as if they’re random information that isn’t connected to you.”
“Not possible,” Evan grumbled as he sat across from her in a pair of gray sweatpants and a navy tank top.
“Close your eyes,” she prompted.
“Can’t,” he insisted.
“Why?”
“My thoughts aren’t something I can ignore, and my dick is hard. It’s been that way since I saw you come downstairs in those yoga pants,” he grunted unhappily.
Randi laughed, wondering what in the world he saw in her that was attractive right now. The yoga attire had been washed so many times that the pink material was faded to a very light pastel color, and she’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail. In her mind, she wasn’t exactly an enticing sight.
The man sitting across from her was a different story. Evan looked impossibly tempting, his hair slightly mussed, the muscles in his arms and chest rippling every time he moved.
All she’d need to do was lean forward and lick every inch of his exposed skin, then she could . . .
Stop. This is about Evan. I want to teach him to relax! I can keep my hormones under control for an hour. Okay . . . maybe thirty minutes.
Randi slammed her eyes closed and swallowed, unable to stop her reaction to the hot look he was giving her, like he wanted to devour her as another helping of dessert. “Close your eyes,” she demanded. “I told you this wasn’t going to be all about sex.”
It was the last evening she had to spend with him other than the ball. Tomorrow night she had a tutoring session. She and Evan would attend Hope’s party together and then he’d be gone.
I can do this. I can spend one night with Evan without wanting him to do me.
She felt his heated breath on her ear before he spoke huskily. “It isn’t all about sex, Randi. With you, it never has been and it never will be.”
She shivered as she felt his lips nuzzle her ear, but she didn’t open her eyes. “Then what is it?” she whispered shakily.
“I don’t have to explain it to you. You already know. You want this as much as I do,” he said with a low growl as he wrapped a strong hand behind her neck. “I need to do everything in my power to make sure you never forget how this feels, to make you remember that you’re mine. Everything about just being with you makes me happy.”
It was all about the connection, the addictive euphoria of having him claim her like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like she could ever forget Evan? She knew that would never happen.
“The man who tried to assault you is dead,” Evan told her unhappily, as though he was disappointed he couldn’t make Randi’s tormenter suffer. “He died of a heart attack several years ago.”
“You tried to find him?” Randi asked, her eyes opening wide in disbelief.
“Of course. If the asshole wasn’t already dead, he was going to wish he was when I found him,” Evan answered, his voice vibrating with anger.
“You tracked him down for me?” She had no doubt Evan had been seeking revenge for an incident that happened years ago. Randi knew he wasn’t capable of cold-blooded murder, but there were plenty of other ways for a billionaire to completely destroy somebody’s life.
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” Evan answered in a grave voice. “If the bastard was still molesting children, he needed to be stopped.”
Randi was relieved the man was dead. “How did you find out?”
“There are very few things I can’t do,” Evan answered cockily.
She squealed as her back hit the floor with Evan looming over her, his expression fierce. She asked breathlessly, “So this is what really makes you happy?”
“It makes me fucking ecstatic,” he grumbled as his head swooped down to capture her mouth with his.
Randi wrapped her arms around his neck, trembling as their heated skin made contact.
Screw the meditation. I need this more. Evan makes me crazy, and I can’t concentrate.
Randi separated her mouth from Evan’s with a determined turn of her head and pushed against his shoulders. “Up,” she grunted as she found herself pushing against what felt like a rock wall. Evan was heavy and muscular, definitely strong enough that she couldn’t move unless he let her.
He did.
Immediately.
Helping her move to a sitting position, he looked at her, confused. “Are you okay?”
Desire still simmered in the pool of his gorgeous blue eyes, but it was mixed with concern.
Randi reached for the bottom of his tank top and yanked, causing him to raise his arms to remove it. She tossed it over her shoulder as she told him sternly, “I promised myself I’d teach you to loosen the reins on your control when you aren’t working.” Reaching for the hem of her own T-shirt, she whipped it over her head and sent it in the same direction as Evan’s garment.
She was braless, and her nipples were pebbled and sensitive, which was probably the reason Evan’s eyes kept returning to her chest.
“Are we going to meditate naked?” Evan asked calmly, his gaze questioning as his eyes scanned her naked breasts hungrily. “If so, I’m definitely doomed to fail.”
“Nope,” Randi answered firmly. “We’re just going to do it differently.”
She pushed Evan onto his back and he went willingly. “Is this your naughty teacher persona?” Evan said huskily. “If it is, it’s pretty hot.”
Biting her lip to keep from laughing at his comment, Randi stood and started sliding her yoga pants slowly downward. “Since you can’t seem to be happy unless you’re getting laid, maybe you can let go of control this way.” She kicked aside the thin, stretchy pants and her panties, leaving her completely naked. She looked down at him and licked her lips nervously.
Evan was a dominant male, and was obsessive about making her climax. Would he tolerate her taking complete control? Would he trust her enough?
“Do you trust me?” Randi asked him as she went to her knees and slowly pulled the drawstring on his sweatpants.
“Yes,” he answered quickly, sincerely.
He lifted his ass as she pulled at his boxers, cooperating to get himself as naked as she was at the moment.
“Good.” She nodded at him as she swung her leg over his body. “Then let me have control this time. All you have to do is think of nothing except sensation.”
His cock had been rock hard as she’d divested him of his clothing. Her core spasmed in anticipation as she grasped his shoulders and finally met his fiery gaze.
“Why?” he asked huskily, looking like he was struggling with the idea of doing almost nothing.
“Because I want you to,” she answered simply, letting her saturated core slide against the long length of his cock.
Rocking her hips, she used Evan’s hard member to rub against her slick clit, a low moan escaping her lips as she felt the friction against the sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Okay.” Evan didn’t sound happy, but he was watching her face as though he was mesmerized by her every movement.
She could feel his eyes on her as she reached up and stripped her hair from its confinement, allowing the silky strands to fall in a messy heap around her shoulders. “Close your eyes,” she requested, her voice deep and aroused as she continued to move her hips against him.
“I want to see you come—”
Randi pressed two fingers against his lips to silence him. “You’ll know when it’s time. Just concentrate on clearing your mind of everything except the feel of us together.”
He pressed his eyes closed, but muttered unhappily, “Like I could think about anything else?”
Randi smiled because she knew Evan couldn’t see her. She knew that he fretted about making her happy and making her climax whenever they were together. She didn’t think he realized that it was going to happen naturally. He didn’t have to think about it, because he was Evan. She could get off just from thinking about him.
She leaned forward and grazed her lips along his neck. “You’re so damn gorgeous, Evan. Everything about you turns me on,” she whispered softly, giving herself permission to be the aggressor, and with a man this dominant, it was pretty intoxicating.
He let out a low growl as she nipped at his earlobe.
“Fuck! Have some mercy, woman,” Evan rasped. “Fuck me. Now.”
Okay . . . maybe he wasn’t able to be completely submissive to her, but it was enough. She speared one of her hands into his hair and pulled his ear against her lips. “I plan on it, big guy. I want to ride both of us to a cataclysmic orgasm. I’ve wanted that since the moment I first saw you.”
“You can start anytime,” Evan replied desperately. “Jesus, you feel so damn good, Randi.” He lifted his arms and stroked his hands slowly down her back and cupped her ass. “There isn’t another woman who feels and smells like you do.”
She could sense Evan’s anguish, the difficulty he was having not taking what he wanted and needed. But he didn’t. He trusted her.
“There isn’t a man quite like you, either,” she confided as she lightly, teasingly brushed her lips against his.
Lifting her hips, she positioned Evan at the opening of her channel and started to slowly slide down his length.
“Oh, fuck, yeah!” Evan groaned, arching his back to help her.
Randi was ready to ride him into oblivion. In fact, she couldn’t wait a moment longer. Sinking down on him, she buried his cock completely inside her, letting out a satisfied moan as she did.
She started a slow, sensual grind, but Evan was having none of it. Granted, he didn’t open his eyes once, but he grasped her hips and held her in place as he pounded up into her . . . over and over again.
In the end, it was Randi who got lost in sensation, focusing only on the feel of Evan permeating her entire being and stealing the breath from her body as they worked toward a common goal: a stunning, fireworks-seeing, sweaty climax.
Supporting herself on his shoulders, she met Evan stroke for stroke, slamming down on him as he thrust his hips up, creating a fullness and a volatile joining that drove her crazy.
“It’s going to happen,” she panted as she felt her impending orgasm.
“I know.”
Looking down, she noticed his eyes were open and watching her before the massive waves of her climax hit her. Evan grasped her hands and held her upright as her channel clenched down on his cock, milking him of his own release as she threw her head back and screamed his name.
He groaned and thrust into her one more time before staying buried deep inside her as he came.
Randi collapsed on top of Evan still holding his hands. He untangled their fingers and wrapped his strong arms around her back, keeping her plastered against him.
When they finally caught their breath, Evan muttered against her ear, “You’re right. Meditation is stimulating to the body and mind. I think it should be practiced at least a few times a day.”
Randi actually giggled. It wasn’t often that Evan made a joke, but he seemed to be doing it more frequently in the last few days. “That was what I would call a much-modified version of what I wanted to teach you,” she scolded.
“I think I like the modified version,” Evan decided as he stroked her hair. “I’m feeling very relaxed.”
Randi leaned up so she could look at him. “You don’t really want to meditate for real, do you?”
“I thought you wanted me to find happiness. Right now, I’m happy. I’m ecstatic whenever I’m with you, no matter what we’re doing.”
Randi’s heart stuttered as she saw the serious look in his beautiful eyes. The truth was . . . so was she.
Don’t do this to yourself, Randi. Don’t fall for Evan Sinclair. Even if he cares about you, he never wants to have a child, and you know you love kids. It might feel good right now, but the two of you together forever isn’t an option. He’s leaving, and you’ll still be here in Amesport teaching.
Unable to utter an answer, Randi just buried her head against Evan’s neck and savored the unique scent of him and the feel of his body close to hers.
Right now, she didn’t want to think about what would happen in the future. Right now was all she had.