CHAPTER 18
Evan’s fists clenched at his sides as his eyes tracked Randi on the dance floor. An hour after they’d arrived, she’d agreed to a dance with Liam, and Evan wasn’t dealing well with anybody holding Randi except him.
I should have asked her to dance first. I should have kept her on the floor all night.
Unfortunately, he’d done neither one of those things, so he was standing alone in a corner, one shoulder propped against the wall, trying especially hard not to bash his fist into it.
He gritted his teeth as he saw Randi tip her head up and smile at Liam, apparently enjoying both the dance and his company. He almost stepped forward as the guy had the audacity to move his hand over her bare back.
His forward progress was stopped by a rather large body that stepped in front of him.
“You look like you need this.” Jared handed him a glass filled with ice and what Evan assumed was alcohol.
“I don’t drink,” he replied irritably, stepping around his brother to move toward Randi again.
“Maybe you should tonight,” Jared suggested smoothly, grasping the back of Evan’s tuxedo so he didn’t move forward. “Don’t do it, Evan. He’s a decent sort of guy.”
“He’s touching her,” Evan rasped angrily.
Jared stepped in front of Evan again and pushed him back against the wall. “Have a drink and relax. Tessa tried to set up Liam and Randi, but Liam got sick. I’m sure he just wanted to apologize for leaving her high and dry. She’s not interested in him.”
Evan downed the entire glass of liquid in one gulp and handed it back to Jared. It took superhuman effort not to cough as the alcohol burned all the way down his throat to his gut. “Did you just poison me?” he asked in a painfully hoarse voice.
“Scotch on the rocks. It’s a good year and brand. You’ll get used to it. It’s kind of an acquired taste,” Jared remarked with a mischievous grin as he handed Evan a second glass that he’d snagged from a passing waiter. “Drink it slow,” he warned.
Evan scowled at the glass in his hand. “How do you know that she’s not interested? She’s smiling at him.”
“Generally, if a guy asks a woman to dance it’s not really appropriate not to smile. Just calm the hell down. It’s just a dance,” Jared advised. He paused to take a sip of his own drink before adding, “Damn, you have it bad for her.”
Evan took an unconscious swig from his glass, his mind elsewhere as the liquid burned its way to his stomach. The fiery heat didn’t even make him flinch. “You’re blocking my view,” he growled.
“I know,” Jared answered calmly, shoving a hand in the pocket of his tuxedo pants and looking like he was making himself comfortable. “Believe me, it’s better this way. The song will be over in another minute or two.”
“I hate feeling this way,” Evan admitted. His control was slowly slipping, and he knew he was acting irrationally, but he didn’t give a shit.
“Now you know how I felt when I thought my own brother was interested in my woman,” Jared reminded him harshly.
“I didn’t dance with her,” Evan pointed out.
“No, but you did touch her, pick her up, and hold her,” Jared remarked casually. “And you did take an interest in her.”
“Because I actually liked Mara,” Evan snapped. “And you were acting like a jackass.”
“Kind of like you’re acting right now?” Jared prompted.
“Yes,” he growled, realizing just how Jared had felt when Evan had tried to make him see sense by hinting that he might be interested in Mara himself. “Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how it felt back then.”
“Apology accepted,” Jared replied calmly. “I’m thinking that karma is a bitch right now for you.”
Evan took another sip from his drink. “Pretty much,” he grunted as he swiped a hand across his face. He was starting to relax, but he was sweating. It had to be the effects of the alcohol. He didn’t usually imbibe, and the drink was obviously starting to hit him pretty hard.
“You okay, Evan?” Jared asked in a milder, more concerned tone.
For the first time in his life, Evan answered the question honestly. “No. No, I don’t think I am okay.” His voice was raw with emotion, and his chest ached with a pain he’d never experienced before. So many feelings began to bombard him all at once that he wasn’t certain which ones to react to first. “I love her,” he added, his vulnerability open for Jared to see, but it didn’t seem to matter.
“I know.” Jared’s answer was benevolent. “But it’s not the end of the world, Evan. It’s the beginning of something so good that you’ll wake up every morning happy to just see her face when you open your eyes.”
“I won’t be seeing her. I’m leaving tomorrow, and she can’t love me,” he snarled back. Maybe his younger brothers’ relationships had worked out, but Evan couldn’t make Randi love him no matter how much he wished he could.
“Then don’t go,” Jared suggested.
“I have an important meeting in San Francisco on Monday, a company I’ve been trying to acquire controlling ownership on for a long time. I think they’re ready, because they need capital to grow. If I’m not there to snap up the company, somebody else will,” he answered automatically.
“So let them.” Jared was blunt. “Evan, there comes a point where the money doesn’t matter anymore. We have so much that we couldn’t spend it in a dozen lifetimes.”
“It’s not about the money. It’s about being better, being successful. The old man never thought I’d do it, but I can.” Evan was breathing heavily as he downed the rest of the drink and tossed the glass on a table beside him.
“You already have,” Jared answered furiously. “You don’t have a damn thing to prove to anybody anymore, Evan. That battle is over and won. It only still exists in your own head.”
“Is everything okay?” a feminine voice interrupted.
Jared stepped aside, revealing Randi and her dance partner. “Fine,” he said amiably. “Evan and I were just discussing . . . business.”
“Would you like to dance another one, Randi?” Liam asked politely, his hand resting on her bare back.
“No, she wouldn’t,” Evan growled, his temper finally snapping.
He stepped forward and grabbed the front of Liam’s starched white shirt that he was wearing with a gray suit and tie. “Take your hands off her,” he rasped, his rage now beyond being contained.
Jared reached out and pulled Randi to the side, causing Liam to lose any connection with her. “Stop it, Evan. People are starting to stare,” Jared advised.
Evan didn’t give a shit whether the entire world was watching. He stood toe-to-toe with his rival, a homicidal look on his face. Without letting go of Liam’s shirt, he said in a low, dangerous voice, “Don’t look at her. Don’t think about touching her. Don’t ever even imagine yourself with her or your ass is mine.”
Jared jerked Evan backward, forcing him to let go of Liam. “Randi, can you take Evan somewhere to cool off? He’s . . . overheated. I’ll talk to Liam.”
Randi grasped Evan’s arm and whispered fiercely, “What in the hell was that about?” She started to lead him away from the crowded ballroom.
Evan followed . . . well . . . just because he’d follow her anywhere.
He let her lead him down the hallway and away from the ballroom, stepping into a smaller room some distance away from the crowd.
She closed the door and locked it behind her, and then pushed him into a padded chair that seemed much too small for him.
“What in the hell just happened?” she asked, sounding more puzzled than angry.
“I didn’t like the way he was touching you.” Evan’s response was angry.
“We were dancing,” she answered reasonably and propped her hands on her hips.
“I know. I hated it.” His answer was blunt as he struggled to regain his usual control.
“Then you should have asked me to dance,” she said softly. “You are my date.”
“That’s another thing I never did right for a Sinclair. I suck at dancing,” he confessed. “I wish I would have done it anyway. I don’t do it perfectly, so I rarely dance. Would you have cared?”
Randi’s expression softened as she looked down at him. “No. I wouldn’t have minded at all. In fact, it would make you more human. Nobody is perfect at everything. You don’t have to be perfect at everything, Evan. You’re already disgustingly close.”
Then why can’t you love me? Why can’t you love a man like me?
He wanted desperately to ask her, but the answer was obvious. Love just . . . was. There was no explanation for it, no way to rationalize it, and no way to pick the perfect partner and feel those kinds of emotions. He was starting to understand that love wasn’t a choice, it just happened. He definitely never thought it would happen to him.
“I think you owe Liam an apology,” Randi remarked matter-of-factly. “He was being charming and polite.”
“He wasn’t charming.” Evan’s response was disgruntled. “He wants to get you naked.”
“How would you know?” she asked.
“Because I want the same damn thing. I recognize the look, but he’s not nearly as pathetically desperate as I am for that right now.” He stood and grasped her around the waist. “I want it every time I see you or hear your voice. I want it when you smile at me. I want it every fucking minute of the day. If I’m not with you, I want to be.” His breathing labored, he added, “I. Need. You.”
Evan shuddered as Randi wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her soft cheek against his slightly whiskered jaw. “I need you, too. I’m not interested in Liam, Evan.” She sniffed and then asked him quietly, “Is this the alcohol talking? I can smell it. Have you been drinking?”
“Two drinks. I’m not drunk, Randi. I’m emotional, something that never happens to me.”
“Jealous?” she questioned.
“Yes,” he answered promptly, honestly. “I don’t want any man touching you except me.”
“You’re leaving early in the morning. We can’t be this intense right now,” Randi warned him in a husky voice.
“Right now is what we have,” Evan said angrily, unable to process the thought of leaving her side, much less putting any more distance between the two of them. He’d lose it entirely.
He watched as the gold in her beautiful eyes seemed to erupt into tiny, sparkling particles. She gazed up at him with a look of longing that made Evan feel like he’d been punched in the gut.
“Then fuck me, Evan. Here. Now. One last time,” she begged breathlessly. “I know we can’t have a relationship, but you’re right. We have right now. I’ve learned that sometimes that’s all a person will ever have.”
He wanted forever, but he needed her so desperately that he’d figure that all out later. He looked around quickly, realizing they were in a powder room, and the door beyond probably led to the toilets. He knew from previous visits that there were plenty of restrooms at the Center, but this was obviously one that Grady had redone to be nicer, plusher.
There were small, elegant chairs lined in front of a long line of mirrors, probably so women could do whatever it was that women did to freshen up.
Too far gone to really care where they were, he reached behind her and double-checked the lock on the door to make sure it was secure, and then he stalked her. “It’s going to end up hard and fast, Randi. Possibly even rough. I don’t have even an ounce of control right now when it comes to you,” he warned her in a dangerous voice.
“I don’t care,” she answered emphatically, letting him pin her against the makeup counter.
Evan removed his tuxedo jacket roughly, yanking it from his body and turning it inside out in his haste to get it off him so he had more freedom of movement. He needed his body to be as unrestrained as his mind was at the moment.
He dropped the jacket on the floor, feeling relieved once it was gone. His gut tightened and his cock pulsated with the need to be inside Randi as he looked down at her vulnerable expression.
“Are you scared?” he asked gruffly.
She shook her head. “No. Not of you. But I’m afraid of the way I feel.”
Her statement made a million questions flitter through Evan’s mind.
How do you feel?
Do you feel like you’re losing your sanity as much as I do?
How do you expect me to leave when I want more than anything to stay?
All of those unanswered questions fled from his brain as Randi tore off his bow tie and tugged hard at his shirt, scattering buttons onto the carpeted floor.
When she touched his bare skin, he forgot about them completely as the feral, carnal emotions he’d been experiencing became his elemental focus.
When Randi curled a hand behind his neck and tugged his mouth down to hers, Evan Sinclair, master of the art of control, finally lost it completely.