CHAPTER NINE
Blaze
Ax shook his head as he scooped up another shovelful of snow and tossed it onto the growing pile by the sidewalk. The weather had decided to dump a shit load of the white stuff on New York City that afternoon. We’d only been at it half an hour, and already my shoulders and arms hurt.
I’d just told Ax about how I’d walked in on Lake’s neighbor assaulting him.
“Lucky thing you followed him. You’ve really got yourself worked up over this guy.” Ax paused to look at me. “I’ll admit he’s cute, but is he worth killing someone over?”
“I wouldn’t have killed the asshole, but I sure wanted to. You should have seen him—all puffed up like a toad. He looked like even more of one when I squeezed his throat and made his eyes pop out.”
Ax barked out a laugh and tossed another shovelful of snow over his shoulder.
“I’m worried about Lake,” I said after I’d dumped mine. “I get the feeling he’s barely holding on. He works four jobs, for Christ sake. And he doesn’t have a speck of food in the house. I offered to get him groceries, but he shot that down fast.”
“Probably embarrassed. What about family? Aren’t his parents rich?”
Our breaths formed white puffs in the air as we methodically made our way down the sidewalk, the scrape of our shovels on the concrete loud in the cold, crisp air. The muscles in my arms and shoulders burned.
“Must not be speaking to them. When I fed him breakfast, he wolfed it down like that stray dog Swish took in that time.”
Ax grunted. “The fucking mutt grabbed my ribeye right off my plate.”
I smiled at the memory. “And Swish threw himself in front of the dog when you went after it.”
We both chuckled. After a moment Ax said, “Don’t know what you can do to help Lake if he won’t let you.”
“He doesn’t realize I know how bad it is. I didn’t want him to.” I thought about it. “I’m gonna talk to Julianne. She might have some idea what’s going on with him.”
Ax grunted, and we shoveled in silence until we’d finished the job.
I made the call as soon as I’d taken a hot shower and changed into dry clothes.
“Blaze!” Julianne sounded pleased to hear from me. “I didn’t expect you to call until Monday.”
“Yeah, well, this isn’t exactly a business call.”
She fell silent, and I cursed myself. She probably thought I was going to ask her out. It would be so easy. I could see it unfolding in front of me: taking her out to dinner. Falling into bed with her. Repeat. Until suddenly I’d realized we’d been doing it for months, and she was nagging me for a commitment when I was perfectly content to leave things as is. And to make things worse, we’d be working together.
Fuck if I was going to fall into that. Anyway, Lake was first and foremost in my mind, in more ways than my worrying about him.
“It’s about Lake,” I said.
“Lake?” She sounded surprised, but not put out. “What about him?”
I explained what had happened, feeling kind of shitty telling Lake’s private business but worried enough about him I felt I had to.
Julianne remained quiet for several seconds after I finished.
“I didn’t realize,” she finally said. “Now I can see the signs I hadn’t noticed before. He must really be struggling.”
“Doesn’t he have anybody?” I asked.
“He’s mentioned he’s not on good terms with parents, and he doesn’t have any siblings that I know of. I can’t even remember him ever mentioning a friend—oh, wait. There’s a married couple. I knew about the coffee shop but not the paper route or club. Shit, the kid probably barely sleeps. And I never thought to ask.”
“Don’t kick yourself too hard. He’s really good at hiding it. I guarantee no one’s caught on because he won’t let them.”
“I’m not sure what I can do. He only works part-time for me, and that’s sporadic.”
“Between the two of us, we ought to be able to make things a little better. Ax can keep an eye on him at the club. The hard part will be hiding the fact we’re all doing it.”
Julianne was quiet for a few beats. “Not to sound like a jerk, but why do you care? I mean, you barely know Lake, and he can be difficult. At lunch that day, it was obvious he was trying to provoke you.”
I chuckled. “Oh, he was. But maybe I deserved it. I wasn’t very pleasant the first time we met. I like him. He’s entertaining. Anyway, I’ve been told I have a bit of a thing for helping people.”
After we disconnected, I headed for the kitchen to see what kind of mess someone was cooking. And I did mean mess. Swish used to cook for us, but since he’d moved out, we rotated in the kitchen, and it was no secret none of us were going to win any prizes for what we concocted there. Thank God Sunday was around the corner, which meant dinner at Swish and Dante’s. I wasn’t about to let another one pass me by without showing up. I’d forgotten what a good, home-cooked meal tasted like.
When I walked in, Tony was standing at the stove stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce that surprisingly smelled pretty good.
“What’re you frowning about?” I asked when I got a glimpse of Tony’s face. Blond and blue-eyed, he took after his Swedish mother with only his olive skin tone and name speaking of his paternal Italian heritage.
“What? Nothing. Just thinking.”
“About anything in particular?” Tony tended to pull back when troubled, leaving his club brothers to puzzle it out. As we weren’t the most observant of men, we sometimes didn’t realize anything was wrong until somebody noticed Tony hadn’t been around in a while. He was club secretary, an expert hacker, an occasional artist, and an enigma to us all. He was also a sweet guy who would willingly fade into the background if nobody bothered to engage him.
“Naw.”
I gestured to the right side of Tony’s face. “You got paint on your cheek.”
He lifted a shoulder and rubbed his cheek on his shirt while continuing to stir the sauce. “I’ve been working on a new painting.”
I leaned against the counter. “Yeah? What of?”
Tony shrugged. “Another nude.”
Tony had talent, but none of us could convince him of that. He said he painted for fun and that was it.
I suddenly remembered I’d been meaning to talk to him. “You know about the merger, right?”
Tony glanced at me. “Yeah.” He grabbed two oven mitts and picked up the pot of steaming noodles, taking it to the sink to drain. When he turned back around, his curls were clinging to his forehead, and his eyes were guarded.
“Julianne, the lady who owns Steel and Velvet, was impressed with the short scene you filmed with Cane.”
Tony looked uncomfortable. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “She says the two of you have chemistry, and the teaser we put on Porn World was real popular with her audience. She’s hoping you’ll do more.”
“I don’t know,” Tony said, avoiding my gaze.
“I told her you might not be interested, but I just wanted to let you know what she said. She’d really like you to consider it. Maybe you could meet with her to discuss it before deciding for sure?”
Tony glanced at me. “I’ll think about it.”
I patted him on the back. “That’s all I can ask.” It wasn’t that I wanted to push Tony into doing something he didn’t want to do; I just wanted him to be sure before he refused. He wasn’t the type to consider his own best interests. He tended to be reluctant to put himself out there, preferring to hole up in the basement with his computer, away from the people who cared about him, or to stay away from the clubhouse altogether. I knew it wasn’t the porn itself that he didn’t like. I suspected it had more to do with who he’d be doing the scene with.
“I’ll admit, I kind of hope you decide to do it.” I felt Tony’s eyes on me but concentrated on pulling plates off the shelf.
“How come?” he asked softly.
I turned and looked him in the eye. “’Cause you were fucking hot in that scene, man. Why else?”
I saw the confusion on Tony’s face and suspected it wasn’t only due to an inability to see himself as hot. I’d just admitted to him I found men sexually attractive. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I figured it was worth it to give the guy a confidence boost; besides, if there was anyone in the club who wouldn’t spread my business around, it was Tony. Also, I suspected if I were honest with myself, I wouldn’t be keeping it a secret for long.
I picked up a spoon and tasted the sauce. “Mmm. Are you telling me I’ve been suffering through Hung’s crap chili and Ax’s thick-as-a-brick version of meatloaf when you can make food like this?”
Tony’s full lips curved into a smile. “I can make a few things.”
“Well, for Christ’s sake, please cook more often.” I picked up a plate and loaded it with noodles before ladling on the meat sauce.
“I’ve been looking into things,” Tony said, voice more confident now he was talking about work. He’d pulled garlic bread out of the oven and served me a slice along with some salad. I dug in, talking between bites.
“What’d you find out?”
“Only that Sniper’s still in the pen. I can’t find a reason for Spoons to feel safe all of a sudden.”
“Keep digging,” I said before taking another bite. “There’s gotta be a reason.”
After the meal, I walked down the hall to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. Taking out my phone, I scrolled through the contacts. While Lake had been examined in the ER, I’d put my number into his phone and texted a message to mine. It had been a spur of the moment thing, and maybe kind of invasive, but I’d wanted to make sure he was okay. Running my thumb over his name on the screen, I made another quick decision and pressed the call button.
It rang several times before going to voice mail.
“Hey, this is Blaze,” I said. “I hope you don’t mind I put my name in your phone. I just wanted to check to see how you’re feeling. Feel free to call or text back.” I disconnected and stared at the screen a few moments, willing it to light up. When it didn’t, I sighed and flopped down on the bed.
***
Late that night, my phone buzzed on the nightstand. I rolled over and looked at the screen, eyes blurry. My heart picked up when I saw Lake’s name.
Lake: I’m okay. Thanks again for your help.
I considered not answering back. I could end this right there. But I didn’t want to end it.
Me: Quit thanking me. I was glad to do it. I’m here if you need me.
There. I’d left the door open if he wanted to walk through it.
I expected that to be the end of the conversation, so I was surprised when my phone buzzed again.
Lake: Look, nobody’s this nice. What do you want?
I chuckled. Suspicious little brat. I thought about it. What did I want?
Me: I want to get to know you.
The answer was immediate.
Lake: Why?
This truth was more difficult.
Me: Because I like you. Not that you make that easy.
I waited a long time for a reply before finally rolling over again to sleep.