Chapter Ten

THAT DAY OUR RELATIONSHIP SHIFTED. It morphed into something that made me want to know Wrigley more as a whole. I think, even as we grew, I’d misjudged him. I’d thought he was this cute baseball player, who adored his family, but loved a challenge. Especially when those challenges were girls. I’d assumed he went after them because it’s what he liked. His relationships never lasted long after he’d started dating them, and rumors went around that they’d slept together. I found this wasn’t true at all. Or maybe there was some truth to it, but he hadn’t actually been with someone that was meant to last for the long haul.

I’d learned that you don’t really know someone as a whole person until you’ve known them on a physical and sensual level. They could be your very best friend, or a person you’ve known your whole life. Yet, behind closed doors, they are someone else. I’d learned that Wrigley was a teacher. I’d learned that he takes just as much enjoyment from my pleasure as he would if it were him on the receiving end. I’d learned that Wrigley was more than just a pretty face and nice body. I saw him now.

The day after what happened in that parking lot, I felt as if I woke up with new eyes. Clearer eyes. Eyes that weren’t so naïve. I couldn’t imagine how much more I’d see and feel when I was ready to go even further than we had.

Another month had passed after that night. It had been full of exploration, although we still hadn’t taken that final step. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t want to pass that point just yet, but I didn’t. There were still too many fears associated with it, and I didn’t want to think on it.

October came and went quickly. Wrigley and I both were doing good in our studies, and I was still at a stage of accepting that we were together. We’d had outings and fun times. I’d even attended a Halloween party with him. Aurora talked me into dressing up as something a little more sexy than the banana costume I’d originally planned. I said the costume was hilarious and everyone would laugh about it. She had to explain to me that when you pass the age of five, you stop doing cute and funny costumes and you dress to impress. I thought she was ridiculous, but I had quite a few compliments and side looks when I showed up in a hot, little fighter pilot one piece. The shorts were so short they were riding up the front of me. Wrigley dressed according to what I wore and we completed a Top Gun duo. He was Maverick, with the flight glasses and sexy gelled hair, and I was Goose. I ended up loving it because Goose was a goofball anyway, and I enjoyed talking with a southern accent all night like he did.

November came with cooler weather...at least for the south. Leaves on the trees didn’t really turn colors. Well, they did, but it happened so fast that one day they were orange, the next they were red, then they turned brown, and by the end of the week, the streets and campus was full of fallen leaves on the ground. I wished it didn’t happen so fast. Fall was my favorite time of the year, and I didn’t get to fully enjoy it like I normally did. Wrigley still indulged me in taking me to a pumpkin patch so I could pick a pumpkin and carve it, and we’d attended three LSU football games.

“Are you going home for Thanksgiving?” I asked Wrigley, as we’d just walked out of political science.

“I’m not sure. I know my mom wants me there, but it would just be driving back for a weekend and that’s sort of a long trip. I wouldn’t mind so much if I were flying like you are.”

I was heading home for three short days. I could practically see my mom’s enthusiasm when she’d said she’d bought my tickets to come home. Her and Dad missed me and I knew they needed this. I was excited to see them, but nervous as well. I wondered if they would see the differences in me. If they would know I’d become more of a woman. Plus, I knew home wasn’t going to be the same anymore.

“Well, if you do, let me know and I can stop by and visit.”

He smiled. “You should go see my mom and dad. They really do like you, and you know how my mom loves having company.”

Yes, she sure did. “I’ll see what my family has planned.”

We walked through campus, which was quieting down for the semester. Students were leaving early for the holiday, even though they were skipping their last classes. I tugged on the sleeves on my long sleeved top to cover my hands. I was freezing. It got chilly in Athens, but I’d grown adept to the warmer climate here. Any temperature that hovered around fifty degrees or lower, you’d catch me shaking like a leaf and bundling up to preserve heat. Wrigley always found it amusing.

He nudged me before we got to my dorm. “You going to survive without me.”

I smirked. “I think I’ll live.”

“I mean you won’t have all of this,” he ran his hands down his body, “to keep you warm.”

I slapped his arm. “Stop. You’re so full of yourself.”

“Nah, just don’t want you to forget about me.”

“In three days?”

“Hey, three days can be a long time for some people.”

“True, but we’ll manage.”

I laughed at his childish antics. I was used to Wrigley always being a joker. But I could tell by the slight frown in the corner of his eyes that he was bummed he wasn’t coming with me. He was missing his family. I didn’t think all of this had to do with me not being around. It was the holidays, and he was going to be here alone. All of the guys he hung around with were going to be heading off to be home, and as much as he claimed it was just another day, it wasn’t really. His family thrived off of tradition as much as the next family. I was even tempted to skip going home all together, just so I could stay back and cook him some sort of resemblance of a turkey day meal, but I couldn’t let my parents down.

We stopped just in front of the door, and I turned to face him. Wrigley placed his hands on my hips and pulled me toward him. Wrapping his arms completely around me, I buried my face in his chest and breathed in deep. The scent of outdoors mixed with his detergent and him was intoxicating. I would have loved to bottle up the smell just to bring it with me, but I’d wait till I saw him again next week.

“Hey,” he said.

I tipped my head up to look at his pretty yellowish eyes. “Hmmm?”

“Have fun, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

He bent down and kissed me softly on the lips. The parts of my body that were cold, instantly warmed as I melted into his tenderness. When he pulled away, he chuckled at me leaning in to keep the kiss going.

“Don’t get me started, or we may never stop and you’ll miss your plane tomorrow.”

Giggling, I said, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.”

As I turned to go inside he gave me a swift slap on the butt and I squeaked. Cheap shot. But I adored his playfulness. When I got inside, I sat down on my bed and kicked off my shoes. I still had to pack, and I needed to read a chapter in my art book, so I wasn’t rushing to do it at the last minute when I got back home. Sighing, I didn’t feel like doing any of it. I just wanted to nap. Tomorrow’s flight was going to be over two hours, I could do my reading then, and it wouldn’t take me more than thirty minutes to toss clothes into a bag. I wouldn’t be able to pack anything else until tomorrow, like my toiletries, anyway. Laying down, it didn’t take long for the warmth of my blanket, and the comfort and feeling of happiness to drag me under.

There is a saying that once you leave a place, it’s never the same when you go back. That was exactly how it felt when my mom drove into Athens on our way to the house. The town was the exact same. The buildings were the same, the fountain in city center, and the decorations they put up every year were the same. I don’t know why I’d expected to see anything different, but I had.

When we pulled up to our driveway, and went inside, I looked around. That nostalgic smell of cinnamon and apples baking hit me right in the heart. It has been five months since I’ve been in here and I’d forgotten that my mom always burned the same scented candles.

“Want me to take your coat?” Mom asked as she stepped around me and put her purse on the entry table.

I looked at her and blinked. “No, I’m okay.”

She smiled warmly. “I know, I’m treating you like a guest.” She watched me intently, as if she were waiting for me to break out in tears over something so she could play the mom roll once again. Instead, she embraced me in a tight hug, kissed my cheek and said, “Your dad will be home in an hour. He had to run in to get some work done. I’m going to check the turkey. Your aunt and uncle will be here shortly if you want to take your bag up to your room. Ridiculous that that darn company had your father work on a holiday.” She started walking into the kitchen still talking to herself. “You’d think they didn’t have families themselves or something.”

There’s the mom I knew and loved. I got the talking to myself bit from her. We both did it all the time. I felt bad for my father because he was constantly saying ‘what?’ as if we’d asked him a question. I loved them both dearly for it.

As soon as I got to my room, I dropped my bag at the door and looked around. It was like an immortalized space my parents never touched; left the exact way I’d left it. In fact, the bed side table drawer was still cracked open from when I snagged my chap stick before we left for college. At least, Mom had dusted a little. My track awards were still hanging on the wall. My poster of Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball hitting a bunch of Minions was above my bed, reminding me of the small things I found comical. The curtains were drawn, casting light into the room. And while it may have been a great feeling sitting on a bed that I loved, in a room I’d lived in most of my life, I kind of felt sad. Sad that as I looked around and everything was the same, I wasn’t. I wasn’t the same at all.

I got up and walked around, reminiscing about little things. Like my full length mirror I’d stood in front of and practiced speeches. They were often talks I’d made up that I’d never have. Most were toward Wrigley. Others were for the girls that I hated. I touched the cool glass before moving to my dresser where my nail polish still sat. I’d stew over which colors I’d paint on and what outfit would match it in hopes that Wrigley would notice and compliment me on my excellent taste. Then there was my small little private collection of balls I kept hidden in the back of my closet in a box. I opened the door and dug in the very back just to check. Yep, still there. Anybody that would find them would think I just had a box of baseballs. I knew better. They were balls Wrigley had practiced with and left behind. I’d gone and picked them up over the years. There weren’t many, about nine but I loved every single one. It was a very girly and silly thing to do, but it was my thing. My crush thing.

Looking at them and their worn out leather, it didn’t even give me the same feeling. Why is that? Why did I feel so different? And why did I feel like a stranger in my own home? This was still very much my home and I knew if I ever needed to, I could always come back and live. But I was starting to wonder if college was already forcing me to grow up more than I’d realized. Or maybe it was the relationship I had with the boy down the street. He was changing me. I’ve learned that my crush was crazy, and I’d spent years pining over a guy who probably wouldn’t have noticed me in that fashion until he saw me later in life anyway. This was all happening when it was supposed to. That’s not fate, that’s real.

I was maturing and I was growing. I didn’t need to collect stray baseballs, and paint my nails out of false hope. Taking the box downstairs, my mom saw me when I got to the bottom step.

“Hey, whatcha got there?”

She was currently peeling a sack full of potatoes. “Oh, I’m tossing this box of junk out on the street for pick up.”

Mom nodded. “What is it?”

I glanced down and smiled. “Just a bunch of things I don’t need anymore.”

“Okay, well, when you’re done would you mind coming in here and giving me a hand making the green bean casserole?”

“Sure.”

The next two hours went by and Mom and I talked up a storm. She wanted to know every detail about school and how I was really doing. I laughed and said she already knew all of this. It wasn’t like we didn’t talk a few times a week. Didn’t matter to her, it was like hearing brand new news.

“What about any guys? Anyone special catching your attention yet?”

I was setting the table and dropped a fork on a dinner plate. “Guys?”

She eyed me skeptically. “Yes. You know, males? The opposite sex?”

“Sex?” I coughed. Get it together, Hadley. “I mean, no. No guys really. There’s a decent one in my art class, but I don’t even know his name. We sit too far apart to make conversation, and class consists of mostly slides.”

I was lying straight through my teeth. I wondered if Wrigley had told his parents about us, and if Donna had mentioned anything to my mom and that’s why she was asking.

“Well, can’t you catch him outside of class or something? You aren’t shy, Hadley.”

“Mom, I’m not going to sit outside of class and bombard the guy like a stalker. I mean, what would I do, go up to him and be like ‘hi, my name is Hadley Marten. What’s yours?’ Seems a little elementary.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Well, it would be ridiculous if you did it in that tone. But I see no reason why you can’t go up to someone and introduce yourself. Who knows, he could potentially be the love of your life.”

I giggled. “Mom, this isn’t an episode of Days of Our Lives. Did I ever have a boyfriend in high school?”

“Well no, but that’s because you were always so hung up on Wrigley Brooks.”

My eyes shot up and I about tripped walking back into the kitchen. “How did you know that?”

She gave me that mom look. You know the one that is all knowing? “Are you actually asking me that as a serious question? Honey, you may not have ever come out and directly told your dad or I that you liked him, but it was pretty obvious when you’d ask to go to every one of his baseball games and you’d wear a shirt with his number on it.”

I brushed my hair out of my face haughtily. “I was also ten years old, Mother.”

Her brow rose. “Mother, is it? Well, just know that a mother knows everything.”

That may possibly be true, but it seems she didn’t know that I was currently with the boy I had crushed on.

“So have you ran into Wrigley on campus at all this semester?”

I walked past her and checked the timer on the oven for the casserole. Still had ten minutes left. “Who? Oh, no. That campus is too large. I didn’t think I’d see him anyway.”

Now I was blatantly lying and there was absolutely no reason for it. Much like word vomit, once I started, it wouldn’t stop. So I kept up the lie.

“Well, I think I saw him once, but honestly, we didn’t ever hardly speak in school, so there’s no reason for us to talk in college. You know?”

That mom side-eye thing was happening. “Huh, if you say so.”

“Ladies, ladies, what are my two favorite girls cooking?”

My dad came walking into the kitchen and set some weird part down on the counter. I nearly ran and jumped into his waiting arms.

“Daddy!” He held me tightly.

“Hi Princess, how are you?” He set me down and beamed down at me.

“I’m good. Mom and I are almost done cooking. Looks like you could use a good helping of turkey.”

He chuckled and turned to the side, puffing out and patting his stomach. “Yep, I’ve been working on my girlish figure. Seems to be working. I’ve lost a few pounds.”

“Yeah, you have,” I stated enthusiastically. “You look fabulous, Dad!”

“Thanks kiddo.” He ruffled my hair that had been growing out and was now a few inches past my shoulders. “You’re looking good too. School treating you okay?”

“Mhmm.”

He looked me up and down. “I don’t see that Freshman Fifteen everyone goes on about. You eating junk food like you’re supposed to?”

“Dad.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m eating fine.”

The door bell rang and we all turned our heads as my aunt and uncle stepped inside. Thanksgiving dinner smelled incredible and my stomach was growling. I’d only had a Starbucks coffee, a muffin, and a few bites of the cooked turkey I’d snuck in. I was ready to sit down and dig in.

Dinner raced by, and I was so full, I had to unbutton the top of my jeans. I needed to remember that yoga pants are the way to go during dinners like these. My parents and my mom’s sister and husband were all still chatting away about some raise my aunt had gotten, when I heard my cell go off. I glanced down at my phone that was in my lap and saw Wrigley’s name across the screen.

WRIGLEY: Hey u, how’s the feast?

ME: It was ok. Got my fill.

WRIGLEY: Liar. UR going to come back to me ten pounds heavier.

ME: Probably. I’ve had 3 helpings so far and I know I’m gonna want more later. Why does Thanksgiving food do that to me?

WRIGLEY: Traitorous turkey bastard!

ME: lol. How R U doing? Have you eaten anything?

WRIGLEY: My Hungry Man TV dinner was incredible.

ME: *sad face* I’m sorry. I wish U were here.

WRIGLEY: It’s ok. Have some pumpkin pie for me with extra whipped cream.

ME: You really want me to come back to you fat and happy.

WRIGLEY: Maybe not fat, but how about happy?

ME: I can manage that. I’ll call later tonight, k?

WRIGLEY: K. Miss you.

He missed me. It was such a small and sweet sentiment. But it was one that had my fingers hovering over the keypad, and I couldn’t type the words back. I was having some serious issues here that I would need to address and soon, but now wasn’t the time.

“Hadley, I need you to do me a favor. Can you run this jar of jelly down to Mrs. Brooks? I made an extra jar for her and if I don’t do it now, Lord knows I’ll forget.”

I held my breath. I wasn’t sure I was ready to see Wrigley’s family. Not without him here with me. “Sure.”

I didn’t know what else I was supposed to do besides comply. I took it from my mom and made my way out the door. The whole walk there I went over and over how I’d just ring the doorbell, and hand it to whoever answered.

The driveway had a few cars, and I knew I should have expected that there would be company at their house during Thanksgiving. I was anxious and my hands were shaky but I rang the doorbell anyway. I had high hopes that whoever answered the door would take the jar and I could walk back home without visiting or conversing. The fates had other plans. Donna’s face greeted me and she had a surprised expression, which quickly morphed into joy and smiles. She was truly a beautiful woman. Her boys looked more like her than their father, Paul. But I’d heard people say the opposite.

“Hadley, honey what are you doing here? Oh my goodness gracious, would you look at you!” she exclaimed. “Please come in.”

She nearly yanked on my arm and pulled me into a tight hug. “Hi Mrs. Brooks. Just dropping off a jar of jelly.” I pulled back and held it up in between us.

Donna chortled. “Yes, yes, that’s right. I forgot your mom had said she was going to bring some down. I didn’t know you’d be personally delivering it. What a great surprise.”

Her southern accent was like a breath of fresh air. Every place in the south had their own dialect. By LSU, it was a Cajun accent mixed with southern. Almost like they curled their tongue with certain words. When I’d first heard it, it was almost harsh to my ears. But I was now in tune to it. Texas accents seemed choppy, and here in Georgia it felt more smooth like a glass of bourbon. It was dark and rich—Southern Comfort. Donna’s accent was stronger than mine or my parents. If Wrigley had one, I didn’t hear it very much. We spoke the same.

“Well, come on in, kick your shoes off and stay a while. We were just about to sit down for dinner.”

I started to shake my head, but I saw the disapproving look on her face. “We just ate, but I could sit for a bit.”

Her brilliant smile reminded me so much of Wrigley, and a pang of sadness swept through me that he wasn’t here with me. This was his family, and I knew he wished he could be here.

Tentatively I walked into the kitchen where food in dishes was scattered all over the counters, and noises were coming from all over the house. I knew Camden and Dodger were home because I’d seen their cars in the driveway. They were probably in the living room with Paul watching football, hence the loud grumbling and curse words. The team they were rooting for must have been losing.

“So how is school treating you?” Donna walked to the other side of her island and pulled out a pumpkin pie that smelled amazing. Okay, I might be staying long enough to have a piece of it.

I looked down at my feet and shuffled them around. “It’s good. The classes are a bit tougher than I’d expected, but I’m getting the hang of it.”

“Sure you are, Honey. You always were a bright girl. I’m surprised you didn’t beat out that Miranda girl for Valedictorian.”

Her vote of confidence was sweet. I was a good student, but never an over the top one. “Her GPA score was higher than a four point one, I think. Mine was only a three point nine.”

“Now,” she clucked her tongue. “Don’t disregard just how hard you worked to achieve that. Shoot, I would have taken myself to Tahiti to celebrate if my boys ever got GPA’s that high.”

I laughed. “They still did pretty decent.”

“Oh please. Camden barely skirted by with his grades. He only did enough to keep himself on whatever sports team he was on. Wrigley was a little bit better than that. Dodger, was my good student. And Turner was the over achiever. But baseball and football was all that ever went on in this house.” She waved a dish rag around.

“You wouldn’t figure.” Macie, Dodger’s friend, came walking into the kitchen.

“With these boys, I wish I could get them to talk about something else.”

The two of them talked to each other while I looked around. There were a few photos hanging on the refrigerator that she had never taken down or replaced from two years ago. One was of Wrigley with his arm slung around his mom, grinning like an idiot. And the others were of the whole family on their annual vacation they took. I swear they were like the Cleavers. The perfect happy family.

“Oh my gosh, I apologize for my manners. Macie, this is Hadley. She is one of Wrigley’s friends.”

Macie nodded and smiled at me. “Speaking of the little brat, where is he?”

“He is back at school studying for finals. Hadley is in town for a short visit and stopped by to bring me a jar of her mom’s jelly.”

God, that made me sound like such a child. I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. What was even weirder was that I already knew who Macie was, apparently, because of my level two stalking I did with Wrigley, and she didn’t have a clue who I was. Just another point on the negative side. Had things not been so crappy during our younger school days, no introductions would have been needed.

“So how is Wrigley really doing?” Donna asked sincerely.

I’m not sure why I went the route that I did. I opened my mouth and words flowed out, and before I knew it, I couldn’t take them back. I lied to her, and since Macie was in here, I lied to her as well. It just seemed like the thing to do at the moment.

“I think he’s okay.” I shrugged. “I barely see him besides the one class that we have together.”

Donna appeared confused. She seemed to be mulling over my words and trying to piece them together. By the look on her face, I knew she was aware of my closeness with her son. I wanted to rub my hand across my face, apologize, and run like hell back home. But keeping up the façade was clearly what was going to happen.

“Oh.” She shook her head in misunderstanding. “I was under the impression that you were seeing a bit more of him.”

Macie’s name was being called, so she politely stepped out of the room.

“I mean, we sit next to each other in class, and he’s invited me to a few of his practices, but that’s about all.”

Could I find a corner and vomit, or would that be considered socially unacceptable? I felt so sick to my stomach, and I could feel the bile rising. I was going to need to excuse myself soon, or Thanksgiving for the Brooks family was going to be one for the record books.

There was almost a sadness in her eyes that I didn’t quite understand. “I’m sure Wrigley holds you in a high regard. He has nothing but nice things to say about you.”

And now I felt like crying. “Yes ma’am. I regard him highly as well.” Lies, all lies. “Would you excuse me for a moment?”

She nodded just before I bolted off to the bathroom to dry heave into the toilet. I think it was time for me to seek out counseling or something. I needed my head examined. Why on God’s green earth did I feel the need to tell his mother that I barely saw her son, when it was so much more than that? Why did I feel the need to hide a relationship that was evidently going on, and she clearly knew a little about it? Made no sense to me.

It wasn’t like I was ashamed of him. This was a thousand times worse that hiding the relationship from my mother. This was Wrigley’s mother. She deserved better than this. My mother deserved better. In fact, I was starting to wonder if Wrigley even deserved me. I was treating him like he was my dirty little secret, when all I’d wanted for my whole life was to be with him. I would have shouted it from the rooftops that he was mine, except, that wasn’t what was happening. It was disgusting and I hated myself for the lies. I was going to need to tell Wrigley what I told Donna today. And sooner than later. Texts wouldn’t be the best idea because you could never hear inflections in a person’s voice. I wanted him to hear me and know that I was sorry and I truly didn’t understand why I didn’t say more about us.

I turned on the faucet and splashed a little cool water over my face. I had very little make up on after travelling and spending the day pigging out. Wiping my eyes, and drying my face, I squared my shoulders and decided that deflection was best for now. While I wouldn’t mind talking about Wrigley while I was here, if any questions arose about how often I had been seeing him, I would do my best to change the subject.

I ended up spending a little over an hour at the Brooks’. I decided it was time to leave when Macie announced she was pregnant, and then she tried to murder Dodger because he put an offer in on a house that she apparently tried to place an offer on as well. He got the house. Truly, it was the most bizarre thing I’d witnessed. The family was definitely one for a little excitement, but my stomach couldn’t handle any more thrilling news, or food for that matter. I decided I was going to spend the next three days reflecting over what I’d done, what I needed to change, and what Wrigley and I were going to need to talk about when I got home. Maybe it was time for those labels to be put in place.