One night about a few days later, Trina was halfway asleep when a faceless worry began to nag at the back of her mind, preventing her from slipping solidly into sleep. What the fuck? Trina wondered silently as she flipped herself around in bed a few times, trying to get comfortable. Her chest was aching a little bit, her nipples feeling oddly tender as they brushed up against the fabric of her pajama shirt, so it took a few moments to get settled. What am I so anxious about? Is it about the drug connection? She’d just given her old friend Martin Lucas’s information earlier that day, and everything seemed to be going smoothly as far as she could tell. But what was bothering her?

 

It took her a few minutes before her mind landed on the right answer. My period! Trina thought, bolting upright in bed as soon as she realized what it was that was bothering her. It’d been weeks upon weeks since she could remember menstruating. That’s why her breasts were aching, why she felt like there was a distinct heaviness between her hips.

 

“Okay, calm down,” she whispered to herself. She leaned down to press her head in between her knees, hoping to get some of the sudden nausea that had swept over her to abate or at least lessen in intensity. “Calm down, calm down, you’re fine, everything’s fine,” she murmured, rubbing her own shoulders to fight the tension in her bones and muscles. “You’re not pregnant. It’s just stress. You’re late because you’ve been worrying about Dana. But it’s fine. Everything’s fine. You’re going to be okay.”

 

She repeated those words over and over again under her breath until she managed to calm her breathing down and relax a little bit into the mattress. I’ll just find a way to get a pregnancy test, she thought to herself. I won’t be able to do anything about it until I know for sure. Until then, there’s no point in freaking out about it.

 

Still, she couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night, lying stiffly on the bed until the first crack of dawn shone through her window. Trina got up, resigning herself to the fact that she wouldn’t be able to rest until she had an answer. After hurriedly dressing, she left the Caliperi brothel as quickly and quietly as she could, slipping out onto the early-morning street and rushing to the nearest pharmacy.

 

After buying a handful of different pregnancy tests, Trina debated whether or not to return to the brothel to test them out, but she finally decided to use the public bathroom at the nearby library instead. At least there no one will interrupt me from peeing several times in a row, she thought bitterly as she headed toward the library.

 

Fifteen minutes later, she had the answer she needed, although not the one she was hoping for. “Goddammit,” Trina muttered to herself, staring down at the two little pink stripes on the pregnancy test that signified her doom. All the tests said the same thing. She was pregnant. There was no doubt of it now.

 

By the time she finally worked up the will to exit the bathroom stall and head back out of the library toward the brothel, a light rain had started to fall. Trina didn’t bother trying to rush inside, away from the rain. She let it crash down on her head, soaking her hair all the way through by the time she finally made it back inside Dana’s residence. I’m fucking pregnant. What the hell am I going to do now?

 

Her body carried her to Kittie’s room, where she weakly tapped on the door until her friend answered and let her in. “What are you doing up so early?” Kittie asked, wiping the sleep from her eyes before gesturing for Trina to sit with her on her bed.

 

“I’ve got news,” Trina said blankly.

 

“Ooh, did Lucas call you back to his place late last night after we all went to sleep or something?” Kittie asked, a bright grin spreading across her face.

 

Trina shook her head sadly. “No.”

 

The grin slipped from Kittie’s face, replaced by a worried expression. “What is it, honey? What’s wrong?”

 

Trina cleared her throat, trying to force the words out, but then she just shook her head and reached into her purse to find one of the pregnancy tests. “Here,” she said, letting Kittie lean over and inspect the contents of her hand. “Does that answer your question?”

 

“Holy fucking shit!” Kittie said, bolting up from the bed, her gaze flicking back and forth between Trina’s face and the positive pregnancy test in the palm of her hand. “Holy shit, Trina!”

 

“I know,” Trina said sadly, stuffing the test back into her purse. “So that’s the end of me, I guess.”

 

Kittie slowly sat down next to Trina again, reaching over to grab her hand. “What are you going to do?”

 

“I don’t know,” Trina said. She shrugged a little before letting her head sink into her free hand, cradling her pounding temple. “This has never happened to me before. All these years on the job, and I’ve never fucked up this bad before.”

 

“Hey, it happens,” Kittie murmured, giving Trina’s hand a reassuring squeeze that didn’t have much effect. “Condoms break all the time, baby.”

 

“He didn’t wear a condom,” Trina interjected.

 

“Oh… why?” Kittie asked.

 

“I don’t know. I know I shouldn’t have let him fuck me without one, but…” Trina trailed off, uncertain of how to explain how she got here. “I just can’t say no to him.”

 

Kittie didn’t say anything right away, just letting her other hand come up to clasp over Trina’s, her fingers soothingly tracing over her knuckles. “Why don’t you tell him, honey?” she finally asked after several long seconds of peaceful silence. “He can help you get the money for… a procedure. If that’s what you want.”

 

“Why would he help me?” Trina said, barely able to keep herself from scoffing at her friend’s attempt at a helpful suggestion. “I’m just some random hooker he’s fucked a handful of times. He’s got no reason to give a fuck. Face it, Kittie. I’m screwed. If Dana finds out, best case scenario, I’m back out on the street. More likely, she’ll have me fucking killed for daring to get knocked up by her boyfriend.”

 

“Lucas will protect you,” Kittie said. She gave Trina’s hand another squeeze, with more force this time. “He’s not going to let her hurt you.”

 

“How can you say that? I’m just a plaything he sticks his dick into now and again,” Trina said mournfully. “Dana’s his girlfriend. He’ll take her side.”

 

“When has he ever taken her side?” Kittie asked. “Whenever we see them or hear them together, they’re fighting about some random bullshit. And from what you told me a few days ago, he’s been getting nicer and nicer to you.”

 

“Just because I’m convenient,” Trina said, shaking her head in disbelief. “He doesn’t really care. Not in any real way.”

 

Kittie sighed, then whined a little under her breath as Trina pulled away from her and got to her feet to pace around the perimeter of the room. “I don’t believe you, Trina,” Kittie said.

 

“I think I know what I’m talking about,” Trina said, blowing out all her breath at once. “I know men, Kittie. And Lucas’s just like any other guy. He wants to get his dick wet whenever he feels like. Everything else is just a nuisance to him. Including me.”

 

“Oh, come on!” Kittie said. She got to her feet and began to follow Trina around the room. “Stop it, Trina. Just listen to me. He doesn’t love Dana. He loves you.” Trina turned around and scoffed at her friend, but Kittie kept going. “But even if you’re right and he doesn’t really care about you, what do you have to lose?”

 

Trina froze in her tracks, almost running into Kittie as she turned around to face her friend. “What are you talking about? Everything! I stand to lose everything if Dana finds out. She’ll hurt me. I know she will.”

 

“Lucas wouldn’t tell her, either way,” Kittie said. “Worst case scenario, he’ll tell you you’re on your own. But if you don’t tell him, you’ll always be wondering, what if? Don’t do that to yourself, Trina. Tell him.”

 

Trina fell silent, staring into her friend’s wide earnest eyes. “Should I…?” She couldn’t even force herself to say the rest of the question, but Kittie seemed to understand her, nodding immediately.

 

“Yes. You should. Like, now.”

 

“Okay,” Trina said, feeling an entirely new wave of nervousness crash over her body as she realized what she needed to do. “Okay, I’ll go tell him. Oh, Jesus. Please pray for me, Kittie.”

 

“Will do,” Kittie said with a smile. She wrapped her arms around Trina’s torso, crushing her into a hug. “Now go get him.”